


The Storm Or The Stars.

by Hexworthy



Series: The Storm Or The Stars [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Injury, Langst, Loads of OC's - Freeform, Post Season 2, i swear i love Lance ok?, lance and shiro have ptsd, not really in full detail but definitely some, not sure if theres gonna be a main ship, ship from ch 18 onwards, the angst just gets angstier, will be torture at some point, wish i was joking but sooo much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-11-01 23:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 96,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10931886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hexworthy/pseuds/Hexworthy
Summary: After they found Shiro and Matt, everyone still had their thing, and Lance was no longer the 7th wheel, he's now the 10th. After a disastrous solo mission he is captured and is left to fend for himself. After a twist of fate, how will Lance and the team adjust to their new positions in the universe?





	1. A Small Fleet They Said...

**Author's Note:**

> This will have scenes of torture and i will put warnings for where they begin or end. it wont be too descriptive but yeah.
> 
> theres also no real shipping in this and will either be team centric or Lance centric in terms of POV

_Lance sat out in the rain, he was staring out into the storm clouds as the lightning struck all around him, he made himself as small as possible and was away from the trees but it didn’t stop him from feeling alive. He felt the thunder roll through his bones and through the sand of Varadero beach. It wasn’t any of the seasonal tropical storms or hurricanes that could pass through, it was just an ordinary storm. But the swirling greys and blues and purples had entranced his young mind especially when the bolts of bright white light made its way above him, illuminating the trees and the small buildings._

_Soon enough the storm started to move and clear and as it did the stars came out and so bright. Despite the small amount of light pollution Lance could see as far as he could in the sky. The starts were so bright and colourful and he could see Jupiter if he looked carefully. Then a fork of lightning lit up the sky and it was such a sight, the edge of the storm in his grey purple hues against the dark blue of night with so many bright sources. It would be something he wouldn’t forget and he wandered what it would be like to watch this kind of storm from the stars looking down rather than looking up._

_It didn’t last long however, his Mama came to find him, after all he was still ten and running from his abeula’s house to sit in a storm wasn’t the best idea. The storm had mostly died and she’d had to coax him back in so he wouldn’t get ill from his drenched state._

_“One day Mama, I’ll be looking down at this.”_

_“And then you’ll wish you were down here looking up getting drenched. You can have the storms or the stars but never both you’ll miss one too much to give up.” She hugged him and guided him back to the house while his eyes were still directed skywards._

The targets and gladiators came fast, Lance was on top of where they were analysing which one posed the greatest threat, eliminating them in that order. The flash of laser kept going as he shot down the opposition and soon enough there was none left. The floor then cleared itself as Lance climbed up to one of the many vantage points the training deck had. He had correctly assumed that the deck wasn’t just for close combat, the height of the chamber and the length indicated there must have been a range. In every good army there was a distance shooter and his rifle now had the ability to resemble a sniper rifle rather than his blaster. The rifle worked best at a greater distance while the blaster worked at mid-range combat and to use the butt of it if necessary. 

After some exploration he found small nooks and crannies that he could fold himself in and use to practise his ranged shots, and with the right commands he could make the deck project holograms so that he could use his rifle in simulated battle situations. It was a shame about the predictability though, but then again, the Galra were becoming predictable, the robeasts not so much mostly because they used to be living. They acted differently and Voltron still had trouble against them, the Galra just came at them where as the robeast’s were unpredictable and unknown, unique every time they faced one. 

He had tried to raise this but to no avail, he just got told to shut up by Keith and Allura or to keep focused by Shiro once they had found him with Matt. He let out a sigh as he prepared himself for the next set of targets.

“Start ranged battle level twenty five from vantage point three.” The holograms situation appeared where Lance was in a vent and a close ranged battle was acting below him. He was a good twenty metres from the floor and the hologram put him up at one hundred. Where he hit the floor the hologram kept the shot going to the target. All he had to do was eliminate the hostile targets while choosing which ones were the ones that caused the most problems to the allies below. Breathe, aim, shoot. Breathe, aim, shoot. It only took him five minutes with the melee still going on. 

Ever since he had returned from the ice planet with the mermaids he had been training more often than he had, but doing so alone. In group training it was always close ranged combat or hand to hand, he rarely had a chance to use his rifle and the lack of practise started to show. As soon as Keith had left the deck and what would have been eleven pm, he was there till morning, washing off then turning up for breakfast. He was sick of being told he wasn’t good enough, or to keep focused or that he was far behind. No matter how many gladiators or drones or Galra he took down he was always told to do better, be more like the paladin he should be.

_You are not what they say. You have come so far and they are making you play your weakest hand over and over again without telling you how to improve._

He smiled at Blue’s reassurance as he started on his mid ranged combat again where he just had to keep going taking as many drones down as he could.  
Breakfast was the same as normal, Matt, Pidge and Hunk in one corner talking about all their tech, Shiro and Keith talking about their training or how Keith could improve. Coran and Allura discussing tactics and which battle they would fight next. Now there was also Slav on board with some of the Blades of Mamora who had decided to stay with them while they figured out how bad Prince Lotor would be. Lance had quickly learned that it was he wasn’t going to be noticed. They all had a thing whether it was their genius or their flying or fighting skills or the fact that they were actually useful in this war they had been thrown into. 

Unsurprisingly the alarm went off with a Galra attack, Zarkon may have been down but the empire was still at large and there was enough resentment in the ranks of his armies towards Voltron to continue the fighting. He got into Blue and flew into the vacuum of space, the coms were on and everyone was yelling at each other telling them to get to places, despite this none of them were about Lance. He wasn’t surprised, he was rarely used so he sat back as the last line of defence and picked off as many ships as he could, protecting everyone’s backs as much as possible. Getting involved when he knew that his evasiveness was needed. Even if no one notices him doing so. They only yelled at him anyways for not being more helpful or for fucking up.

During the time Shiro was missing and Keith was leading, he had been sidelined and forgotten, his voice overridden and he fought at first but gave up for the sake of Voltron, it wasn’t as if anyone noticed. He kept his mouth shut and was dismissed after being yelled at after every mission either from Allura or Keith, despite how much he gave to the team. 

“Hunk To your right!” yelled Pidge over the coms as a ship he had noticed too late almost collided with the yellow lion.

“Shiro manoeuvre three, Lance just stay out the way.” Keith said almost immediately. So much for being needed. The fleet was defeated soon after and Lance was just done. He hadn’t cared in so long and why would he anymore? It was clear where he stood. He was just the person who flew Blue and the person who made sure everyone wasn’t falling apart. But who was making sure he wasn’t being pulled apart at the seams? Before they had found Matt he tried to make sure Pidge slept and ate, he talked to Hunk about food or Hunks family when he got homesick or upset with being in space. He listened to Coran’s stories, he flirted with Allura to direct her tension and aggression away from herself. He even tried to keep Keith from imploding with stupid challenges or just getting a rise. 

Now he felt unwanted and everyone just kept on proving it, when he had gone to Hunk or even Pidge he mostly got not nows as they both worked on important things. He could never go to Shiro or Allura and Keith was certainly out of the picture. He had tried Coran but it ended up being one sided in favour of Coran so he talked to the only one who actually listened to him. He was not looking forward to leaving Blue’s hangar or the inevitable shit storm that would follow.  
“Lance what the hell were you doing?” It was Keith. Again. Lance had long since dropped the rivalry and had tried to be nicer to the red paladin but to no avail, and it only got worse once he had assumed temporary command. 

“What do you mean? I was where I always am placed now, the last line of defence.” 

“You missed some ships that came too close to the castle, The Blades had to shoot them down. You’re a paladin of Voltron not some cadet on a simulator.” Shiro wasn’t even angry, he was tired and disappointed. Something he was now becoming immune to, he’d been on the receiving end of it that often.

“I’m sorry.” Was all Lance bothered to reply with, any other reply would only make matters worse and he could do that for the team. It wasn’t even his team anymore, he was just extra baggage.

_No you’re not extra weight, even sentient lions make mistakes. You are not one of my mistakes. You’re my sharpshooter._ Lance tuned out of the verbal flaying, it was all criticism of how he wasn’t focusing on the right lion to protect, even though from his vantage point he could see more of the battle. And the ships in their lion’s blind spots. He had everyone’s back, he wondered when he would have some at his again. 

Lance soon left to be with Blue, her presence in his mind was comforting as he was filled with the love of his lion. Before Voltron was hit by the Kolmar, Blue had been pure quintessence but now there was a tiny bit of his own in Blue. Their bond was strong and he had been flying with his lion’s eyes and able to hear Blue soon after leaving Crona, the ice planet that he and Hunk had crashed into after that first fight with Zarkon. But after giving Blue some of his own quintessence, albeit accidentally, they bond had grown stronger and stronger and were at the point of exchanging memories and feelings freely. When Voltron had been hit they’d only meant to focus their energy but Lance was internally in free fall, he couldn’t feel Blue, he didn’t want to be alone he had to do something. He apparently did went he felt Blue back in his mind, stronger than ever.

In the cockpit of Blue, Lance draped over his chair as Blue showed him images of her favourite water planets, of all different colours and what lay underneath the waves. Some were just plant life while others held leviathans, long eel like people who were coloured like orcas and lived in the depths. In return he showed her the images of that storm when he was ten, the images he caught of sprite lightning across the night sky and the feelings of awe. He soon drifted off and awoke when Blue nudged in his mind gently alerting him that the training room was free.  
I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere. 

When he reached the deck he stated on his core then went to work on hand to hand. During his time here he had learnt the more specific the commands he gave the better the training went so when he asked for training in close combat rather than a level he actually received help. Even though it was another hologram it would help if he ever lost his Bayard or was out of range for his lion. It wasn’t much but it meant he might just survive. The night dragged and he went back to Blue soon enough. He had stowed a duvet and pillow in the hangar and curled up in Blue’s curled form, her mind curling round his as he slept from all the exertion. 

“Lance you’re late as usual.” Allura’s sharp tone cut into him as though they were knives, just because he was the last to arrive doesn’t mean he was late. He had the furthest to go to get to the command deck and he had been given three minutes to get there and he had, entering just behind Kolivan.

“Now we are all here, Shiro, Keith, Hunk and Pidge will be working with Kolivan and The Blades to help gather intel in the prince while rescuing the hostages the Galra have taken.” Lance noticed that he hadn’t been mentioned and though hurt, he schooled his face to not show it. He wasn’t part of the team after all, they had made that abundantly clear while searching for Shiro, yelling at him for any ideas, pointing out every single flaw in training or a battle. Being told to go away and only being wanted when they needed something from him. He had already been the seventh wheel, always to the side but at least Shiro appreciated him once, maybe even twice and Hunk was always down to do something if had had to wait a while. Now here he was, at the very edge with everybody outshining him. He longed for home where he would get noticed by someone at least whether it was one of the triplets who wanted to play with him or his older sister with gossip. 

“Lance, quiznack, just quiznacking focus.” Allura really had it in for him today. “I said you’re on an easy solo mission to one of the moons on the far side of this solar system, small Galra fleet that even you can take care of.” He nodded and left, already in his armour he climbed into Blue and immediately left, no need to stay around when he clearly wasn’t wanted. 

He felt Blue reassure him in his mind saying that they would do this well. It didn’t take long to get to the moon and he could partially understand why he had been sent, ninety percent of the surface was liquid. The scanners showed it was slightly alkaline but not enough to cause damage to Blue at all or himself if he accidently entered it, but only for a few dobashes. He touched down on a rock out crop so that he could look at what he was facing, using his Lion’s eyes he got a better scope and could see in more detail. There was a small fleet on the surface and a ground to air ion cannon but there was something in the water, he was sure of it. The fleet were on what could have been considered a beach but with their backs to the water, as though they were protecting something. 

_I agree, I can sense something under there with one of my scanners and we cant risk that ion cannon. We have to be underwater to get close._

It took a while to figure out what would be the best course of action, the Castle of Lions was hiding in one of the gas giants and communication was poor at best. So he was on his own, he got out of Blue and looked round and saw that they were on the outskirts of a bay with only land on one side where as the other was a shear drop. If they could fly low and around the back of the enclosed bay they could slip into the water and swim in. It was better than risk alerting the fleet or whatever was hidden by the lack of communication from them. 

The ground was rocky and they lucky to not be seen as they had to fly slightly higher than Lance would have liked. He landed Blue at the edge of a stretch of land and walked her into the water, trying to avoid making more noise than necessary. As soon as they were submerged in the deep water, they swam close to the bay and then stopped.

“No,” Lance was in shock, it wasn’t a small fleet. It was an Armada. The hostages were a diversion while they lay here in wait, ready to attack them as they returned  
knowing that they wouldn’t sacrifice innocent lives. “We have to do something Blue. This is Lance please come in,” there was only static over the comms.

“Lance to Castle, please come in.” It was no use. He switched the comms to all channels,

“Lance to Voltron, please come in.”

“We don’t have time right now Lance, just deal with it,” came Pidge’s terse reply,

“Seriously buddy we’re a bit busy right now," yelled Hunk, there was a crash on the intercom and he supposed something happened. He turned his comm off and knew that was the final nail in his coffin, he was only the blue paladin, only the leg. He was no longer Lance to them.

“Hey girl, looks like we’re on our own.” He guided Blue back around so that they were near the back of the armada. They started on the ships at the back, freezing and blowing whatever they could up, they were hopelessly out numbered, out gunned and almost out of hope. They had managed to take down five ships before the others were at full capacity to wreak havoc on them, and despite their agility in the water, there was too little room in amongst the debris and surviving ships. Bolt after bolt of laser fire was sent their way, including the druid magic, he was taking heavy fire and he knew he couldn’t hold out much longer. Then one massive bolt of druid magic came at him and with nowhere to dodge he braced himself and Blue as much as possible. He was thrown around the cockpit and he was sure he had dislocated his shoulder. The screens were working and he saw Galra pods move in his direction, he put his shoulder back in place yelling and cursing as he did so. He  
had to protect Blue.

“I’m going out, don’t let me back in till it’s safe and we can go.”

_I trust you, I’ll be waiting. No one will harm me._

As soon as he entered the water and left Blue the force field went up, with one forlorn look back he steeled himself for what was to come. He took his bayard and it took its blaster form, if he was going down, he was going to take as many as he could with him. With rapid fire he took out the first was of pods but there was too many but it didn’t stop him. It only stopped when he took a bolt of druid magic to the chest and the world went black. 

Back on the Castle, the hostages were in the healing pods with their mission successful, there had been some knowledge on Lotor, but it was small and it was that he liked to fight in the Arena’s and small snippets of video of his final blows. They hadn’t noticed the signals of hoards of Galra ships leave the system as it was weak due to the distance and magnetic flux interferences from one of the other planets. It wasn’t till dinner that they noticed that Lance hadn’t returned, they had been too busy going over their intel and what they could get from the hostages. They weren’t worried, Lance was probably sulking somewhere and would return, they just had to give him space and on his return debrief him. 

Lance screamed himself awake as a flash of blinding pain entered his left side. He was shackled to a tilting table and he could already feel the pain in his wrists and ankles. He knew he’d have to get out and soon but the door opened and in the door way, flanked only by a druid was a tall figure with long white hair and ears that looked Altean. A blade sat on one hip and a rifle at the other. 

“Well, look what the space cat dragged in.” The voice was smooth and deep and it sent terror coursing through his veins. “Looks like we’ll have some fun with this one.”

Lotor took three steps towards him and his world was filled with pain and anguish.


	2. Play Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is on Lotors ship, The team find what happened on the moon and the Lions have a discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MOST OF LANCES SCENES IN THIS IS TORTURE SO DONT READ THEM IF YOU FIND IT UPSETTING. The only one free from this is Lance's last scene after shiro's POV at the end.  
> also the lions are sentient and i dont care and im improvismng here and i also refuse to believe that there's only the rebels and Blades.
> 
> Have fun reading.

Hunk was the first to notice something was wrong, he knew Lance hadn’t returned yet but he rarely sulked and if he was there was usually a genuine reason for it. He supposed he was either hiding in Blue again or some other part of the castle. He wasn’t concerned as Lance would bounce back he always did, sure he had his moments but they all had and they all dealt with it in some way. He tried to gain access to Blue’s hangar through the doors but was barred, the castle systems saying that the main doors were still open. Hunk thought nothing of it and was probably a system error, the castle was over ten thousand years old. He turned and decided to try Lance’s normal bolt holes such as the holodecks and command decks where he would look out into space or remind himself of Varadero beach. Neither were successful, he tried the more obscure places but with no luck and in a desperate attempt he tried Lance’s room and saw it. It looked like it hadn’t been lived in for weeks with a layer of space dust starting to gather over some of the surfaces.

Hunk was concerned now, it was like Lance wasn’t living in the castle anymore. He remembered the doors were still open, had Lance even returned. He ran towards Yellow, not bothering with his armour, and leapt into the void of space. He flew round to Blue’s hangar to confirm that they weren’t there and he felt his heart sink. 

“Hunk, why are you in your lion?” Allura’s voice came through on the screen that had appeared to the side. 

“Lance isn’t back, Lance wouldn’t sulk this long without needing some comfort. I’m heading to the moon.”

“Wait for the others i..”

“No, he’ll run. I’ll go alone.” Hunk turned away from the castle and flew the distance to the moon and Lance’s last known co-ordinates. Space was quiet and it was something he had gotten used to, it had taken a while but he got there, but there was something different about this. Yellow was on edge, he could only just feel her emotions but it was strong. He flew low where the small fleet was meant to be and he stopped dead. The sight before him was of carnage. Debris littered the water and there were entire battle cruisers encased in ice that were half sunk. There was a ground to air ion cannon pointed at where he was. Not only was there debris, there were the corpses of Galra soliders and the sentry drones littering the land and sea. 

Lance had asked for help and he said they were busy. They hadn’t sent Lance for a small fleet, they had sent him straight into a death wish. 

“Hunk to Castle. You want to see this.” There was nothing but static. 

“Hunk to Castle, come in,” more static. How many times had Lance tried to contact them? Hunks mind was running with possibilities, he had abandoned his best friend and there was a huge possibility he was dead. Or worse. 

Hunk kept trying the comms open on all channels not caring who heard him.

“Anyone come in.”

“This is Blade ship three, we hear you Yellow Paladin.”

“Thank fuck get the Castle to my co-ordinates its urgent. Fuck I don’t care how you do it just get here within the hour.” He kept his comms on and guided Yellow into the water and he felt the tears fall free and fast. Shattered pods and broken ships lay all around him, the bodies that floated by were starting to decay and there were burn marks through their heads or hearts on most of them. Lance had done this, Lance and Blue, he couldn’t find them either. They were captured or at best Lance was dead and the Galra had the blue lion. He hated that he wished his friend dead but after seeing what they did to Shiro when he was just a pilot on a scientific flight. He couldn’t bear to think about it, he was a paladin and important now and it would only be so much worse because of it. He pulled up and out the water and landed on the edge of the bay and waited till the others arrived.

Lance cried out as he felt the now familiar pulsing of electricity as it spread throughout his body, each shock more intense than the last. He tried to steady himself as much as possible once it passed through him, he was breathing heavily when he heard Lotor’s words.

“Where is the Castle of Lions?” He forced himself to remain silent, save the fight for another day. Another pulse when through Lance. 

“Not talking then, let’s see how much you sing after the druids are through with you in a few vargas.” He walked out the room cell whatever and was left with a druid standing over him. 

_“You’re only here because the person before you had disciplinary issues.”_

_“Hey Keith, …” “Not now, not ever Lance”_

_“Not now buddy we’re busy.”_

_“You should know better”_

_“Why is he even a paladin he can’t even fight properly, at least the rest of them can.”_

Images flew through his mind, all the disapproving stares and the hate through some of the Blades. The looks of hurt of his family if he ever made it home and learnt of what he had done so many miles from home. The loneliness and fear of being forgotten and ignored. The fact he no longer had any family he could rely on. 

_“MY PALADIN”_ A surge of warmth and love and adoration entered his mind and gave him an anchor to cling to as the mental barrage kept on going. Don’t sacrifice yourself for me, keep dormant please. As the druid removed its grip on his mind he couldn’t feel Blue any more, the lack of her presence was disturbing to say the least but at least she was safe, the Galra wouldn’t harm her. He spat toward the druid.

“Do your worst.” The yell of pain that followed felt like his throat was being torn out as a liquid that felt like metal was injected into his blood stream. 

Shiro almost fell out of the sky as he approached the yellow lion, what the hell had happened? 

_BLUE_

“What?” 

_Paladin, what has happened to Blue and her own, we did not feel their return, I feel their distress. WHERE IS BLUE AND WHY CAN’T I FEEL HER._

It was his lion, he could hear her he just wished it would be under better circumstances. But if Black couldn’t feel Blue at all then he had failed. He felt Blacks panic and desperation wash over him and he was sure the other lions were feeling the same. Shiro had failed as leader when he had told Lance that he would have to deal with whatever alone but it seems he might not even have gotten the message based on the static he had encountered on the way here. 

“Hunk what happened.” The sombre replay came back. 

“Lance happened.” He set his lion down near Hunk and left Black, taking in the damage as the others joined him and the castle set down on the top of the cliff on the bay. Once Allura and Coran had joined them on the beach, Hunk began to speak.

“There’s debris and bodies underwater too. The ships are warship class and there are also galra pods beneath the surface. They all have laser burn marks like the ones from our bayards and there are five ships destroyed by ice and other were ripped apart as though in a final struggle.”

Silence followed him and horror appeared on Allura’s face, “We sent him to fight one fleet.”

“Not a fleet, and armada,” Kolivan had joined them. “You sent him to his death.” The weight of the words fell heavy on Shiro, Lance had tried to tell them but none of them had listened, had wanted to listen. 

“At least he took down some ships with him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had more than fifty armada class battle cruisers at him all at once. I was wrong about him it seems.” Kolivan turned away and started the climb back to the castle, presumably to tell the rest of the Blades and the others back on the ship. Shiro wondered how they had gotten to this point. 

“We assume he is dead, no one can survive all that. We find the blue lion and then we can get back to forming Voltron as soon as we find a new paladin,” said Allura. Shiro saw Hunk bristle with rage, he’d never seen him this angry, not even when they were stopped to help Nyma and Rolo on the way to the Balmera. There were tears falling down his cheeks and it looked like he had been crying for a while. 

“No Allura. We will not. We will find Lance too, and if he’s dead we give him the burial he deserves and if he’s alive we free him. I will not abandon him like we did!” Hunk was yelling now. “We left him to die because we thought we had it bad with two battle cruisers. Look what Lance did on his own. He deserves that much at least.” Hunk turned and marched into Yellow who took off into the sky. 

Shiro went back into Black and flew back into the castle, left to wonder what the fuck they were going to do with no leads, and little hope of Lance being alive.  
The burning soon faded to a dull thrum in his veins, and he was face to face with Lotor again who was wielding a long knife. 

“Where is the Castle?” Silence. Then he felt a cut be made across the muscle of his calf, the blade wasn’t sharp and it wouldn’t be a clean cut. 

“Different question then. How do your lions work?” Lance refused to disappoint Blue and kept his trap shut, even when another cut was made. It carried on this way, Lance not saying a word when asked and containing his pain when Lotor decided that the death of a thousand cuts was a good option to obtain information. 

Soon he was left alone, drenched in his own blood. Only then did he allow himself to break down and cry. He had no idea what time it was or how long he had been there, and was sure he wouldn’t be getting any food or liquid any time soon. He presumed they would withhold it until he was on the verge of death. He had to get out of here and soon. Until then he would deal with the pain, let them think he was defenceless without a weapon and that he truly was the stupid paladin of Voltron who only flirted. He may not have been academically brilliant, but he could read people and learn languages brilliantly as well as his spatial awareness and the ability to know where he was and how he got there. Well, at least when he was conscious, he had never once been lost and could always find the easiest paths and just intuitively know where to go. He would have to wait and then take the moment as it came. 

He closed his eyes, knowing that pain would be the reason he awoke and mercifully drifted off into a dreamless sleep. 

The next few days were the same, being questioned, made to face the memories of when everyone brought him down and the pain. Funny thing was that he was now getting used to it, the memories no longer made him sad or angered him. The pain reminded him he was alive and had started to laugh through it all. However that day’s schedule was changed, Lotor had swapped out his weapons for his voice. 

“You know they won’t come for you, otherwise they would have been here already.”

“Yeah, you’re telling me, not like they care for me anyway. You’re preaching to the choir love.” Lance didn’t know why he replied, maybe it was the pain talking or the fact that he’d accepted his place but was still bitter about it. At the very least it had stumped Lotor.

“More proof that nobody wants you or likes you, so why don’t you make it easier on yourself and tell me what I want to know and I can guarantee you a swift painless end.” Lotor was crooning, it was fucked up but Lance had to appreciate that he did have a lovely voice and was attractive. He was bi and still had eyes, but he did not like that personality. But if he could prey on that, then maybe he could get off of this table.

“But yet you’re here everyday talking to me. Pray tell, was it my stunning personality or my devilishly good looks darling? Or was it so that you had company that wasn’t terrified of you?” Where ever Lance was getting this courage from he was glad he still had something, it wouldn’t have mattered if it was pure adrenaline, he had a chance and might be jumping into something worse but it was better than been electrocuted and tortured.

“Well aren’t you fun to play with. You’ll see my way of thinking soon enough.” Lotor stood up and left the room, a druid materialised in front of him and he braced himself for what was too come. 

Hunk was falling apart, there was no other way to out it, he couldn’t be calmed by training or by talking, his fiddling with the engines of a broken pods couldn’t do it and he couldn’t face cooking, not without the lack of Lance’s comments and curiosity at what he was concocting. He just wanted Lance to talk to about their time on Earth and the fun things they got up to before they were forced into a war. He was spending most of the time in the command deck looking for signal that was Blue or the signal from the comms on Lance’s helmet. He had tried to find the signals that was the armada but guessed they were galaxies away by now given that they had a quintet and a half to get away. Space was big and they could be anywhere. So he looked and tried to keep himself from imploding.

He was wracking his brain to find out how he had done it when he had joined the Garrison and being away from his family in Samoa, and how he had adjusted to being in space away from his entire planet. He had Lance there, he was the one who helped him before he got to this point, noticing before anyone else and tried to distract him in the way that he knew how, by being the nineteen year olds they were but having fun or just talking, forgetting about a millennia old war and by being their age again. 

Hunk was starting to understand why Lance had been here so often, as he pulled up earth and the information such as the date and the seasons. He scoffed at the calander, it was Lance’s birthday in a week, and he had heard nothing about it. He didn’t hear a thing, it was so very not Lance, back in the Garrison and school all he would hear about would be the party he would have with the extended family and what kind of cake he would have or even what he wanted. But there was none of that. It made him wonder when the last time Lance said anything about himself or had a real conversation with him. 

He hadn’t.

They had all been training, and fighting and searching so desperate to find Shiro and no one noticed Lance getting quieter and less present, only appearing when needed, when they needed him either for comfort or for Voltron. He also noticed he was the only one who was in the same frenzy as they had been for Shiro, everyone had accepted that Lance was more than likely dead. When they were looking for Shiro they knew he could be but refused to believe it. Because Lance refused to believe it. now none of them were giving him that, they had neglected him when he had asked for help that final time, how many other times had they done that. Anger shook him and he went back to the start charts with renewed vigour, promising to find his best friend. Dead or alive, he would find him.

Meanwhile down in the hangars, the remaining lions were deep in conversation. 

_Blue is missing and you suggest we wait on our paladins._ Yellow growled at Black,  
_Yes, we must trust that they find them, both her and her paladin,_ replied Black  
_But they do not care for him,_ spoke up Red, _my paladin, though I trust and love him, has done wrong by him too many times and I’m sure you’ve all felt that through Blue’s emotions._  
_And he gave her some of his quintessence_ added Yellow, _my paladin has only just realised the wrong he has done and he hasn’t given up hope yet. I trust in him to find them._

Black deliberated on what they were saying, yes one of them had realised their wrong and the others would too, they had to and even if that meant waiting it would have to do, they could only protect their paladin when in absolute need, not each other. They could freely move when they weren’t in stasis or dormant. _Blue’s shut down and dormant._ Black realised, _She’s dormant, that’s why we can’t pick her up she shut herself down with conditions of return._ There would be no signal, especially if they were surrounded by the Galra, it was better to be presumed broken beyond repair and protected by their force fields than waiting for their paladin and used as bait. It also meant her paladin must be alive too. Hope filled Black and felt it run through the others. They planned to try to gently nudge their paladins where they needed to be and now the shared panic from the black paladin and herself allowed him to hear her, she would be having words. 

Lance had fully lost track of time now, and Lotor was back again and had bought guards with him. He was unshackled and then cuffed, he was then pushed on to his knees and his hair was pulled to force him to look up to Lotor. 

“You will have some fun today.” He was pulled up and shoved out of the door, he memorised the corridors and turns they had taken to a chamber, full of Galra. Once again he was force to his knees and his hands were locked in place by the cuffs behind his back and connected to the floor. A position designed to for humiliation, total submission and no escape. It was also at the side of a throne, one presumably for Lotor, and what a power play that would be, a member of Voltron at his feet. A member of Voltron who was in a tattered thermal layer with multiple injuries and in a position of abject humiliation. 

“Bring in the prisoner” Lotor drawled, as if he was bored. A small frail looking alien was dragged into the centre of the room and made to stand.

“You are here because you oppose the Galra Empire and have conspired with the Resistance, to do so is treason with the sentence of death.” The alien look terrified and looked as though they were going to beg to plead. But then they were silenced by a blade through them it was then left there, piecing something that wasn’t vital.  
“Tell me what you know.” A whimper was all the creature could manage and was already on their knees, all four arms trying to support themselves before falling on the sword.

“I’m bored, kill it. I’ll find my answers another way.” The nearest solider yanked the aliens head back and slowly slit their throat, purple blood gushing from the wound and left to drop on the sword through their chest, sickening noises entered Lance’s ears and he shed silent tears for the alien. He did not know their species or name but he would add it to the list of his dead, of those he couldn’t save. 

“And now as you see here, we have the Blue Paladin of Voltron, a pathetic and useless creature who has been very tight lipped, in seven quintents he will be facing execution after extracting all the information we need. It will be broadcast to all quadrants of the empire and will be a day to remember. You may have your fun for now, but only physical injuries only.” Lotor stood up and everyone got to their knees as he left. Once gone most people went back to their duties on the ship, however some commanders and other soliders decided that beating the living day lights out of Lance would be more productive. It didn’t take long for him to fall unconscious and was glad of it. 

Shiro walked into Black’s hangar and sat down in front of her. She looked down at him and spoke to him

_You can hear me because we have bonded enough and out mutal panic became a catalyst. We cannot speak over vast distances like Blue and her young one can but we can get there._

“Lance was already doing this?”

 _Yes, why does that surprise you so? Or how powerful they are together?_ Shiro suspected that Black already knew the answer. 

“He’s always behind in training, he irritates most of the team and he..” Shiro found he couldn’t finish that sentence, yes Lance was always behind on training but how could he be if he took down that many Galra ships? And he couldn’t think of a time when he irritated people beyond trying to give input into a plan. “Oh.”

_Oh indeed, you let him fall to the wayside, I do not condone what your team has done but I understand from your point at least. We have bonded enough for me to know that and what your own demons do for you._

Shiro’s time being lost was mostly spent in deep space after he was teleported there until rebel ships found him, and consequentially took him to Matt. He’d be over joyed at being reunited with his friend and when he come back to the Castle, he had to pick up the mantle and there was more than ever. Keith wanted his attention, so did Matt and Allura and even Slav. He’d accidentally taken out his frustrations out on Lance when the smallest things annoyed him. He hadn’t meant to but he could see how that would hurt him. 

_We all make mistakes, and the others are equally at fault. But now we discuss what us lions know._

Lance woke up in pain which was nothing new, but he was still in the hall that Lotor had him dragged to. A galra guard was removing the cuffs from the floor, and gently pulled him to his feet. He wasn’t going to question this kindness and almost collapsed back to the ground, everywhere was in pain and he was pretty sure some of his ribs were bruised at the very least. He eventually managed to stand up right and took a pace forward then another and another. 

He was going back a different way and he saw Blue in a hangar, his heart missed a beat and he sent a wave of affection to her, not knowing if she could feel it, but the gesture was there. He memorised the way back to his cell and was surprised to see his armour, bayard and helmet hidden to the side and the cuff undone.  
“Change quick, you don’t have much time while the shifts swap.” The guard whispered, as suspicious as he was he did so, if it meant escape he would take it. As he put on his armour, the guard explained.

“Not all galra approve of Zarkon, Lotor or the empire and we have our own resistance throughout the empire. We are not the rebels or the Blade of Mamora, they have their own policies and ways and we have ours.” They slipped something into his hand and shoved him out the door. “Go, be careful and I hope we meet again under different circumstances, better ones.” 

Despite his pain he ran though the corridors avoiding confrontation, he had got better at evading notice and was able to get to the hangar with his lion. He opened the doors and the alarms went off, he felt Blue in his mind, and saw her awaken and ran towards her, almost laughing as she made her way back into his mind. He blasted any sentries that attempted to come near him and soon it was getting to close to call who was the greater danger and tried to blast the walls so it would block the entrances. He ran towards Blue and heard her purr in his mind 

_My Paladin, you made it._

_I’m here_ he sent back as the force field dropped. In the cockpit he sat down and using the ice beam, they stopped the sentries from getting closer. He launched Blue through the doors despite them not being open then flew into deep space before Lotor’s ship had much time to respond. Before they got to any real distance, Lance and Blue sent a well placed laser to one of the engine decks and a massive explosion could be seen. Any pods that came after them were shot down quickly and he ran for the hills, laughing at his freedom, Blue also laughing glad to be awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i do promise that i love Lance and all the characters but damn ive read too many books with too little angst and here we are, also, i just love entire voltron angst with the lions having their say. 
> 
> lance was a little shit while writing this, he wasnt meant to get that cocky. but it works and adds some humour into this angst with a plot fic
> 
> all the comments and kudos have made me happy and im glad you like this :D


	3. There's No War In Ba Sing Se

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance returns to a familiar planet, Pidge has a revelation and the plot starts to thicken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance in this does have PTSD but theres no specific mentions of the scenes them selves, just the feeling of being kept and stuff like that and nothing explicit. However there is detailing of his injuries at various point, with the main one being when he is treated for his wounds. it starts at "it gets worse" and ends "i'm sorry."
> 
> other than that ENJOY!!

Blue had stopped flying when Lance could barely keep his eyes open and had landed on some space debris that was gently floating through space, unaffected by any celestial bodies’ gravity. It was deep space and mostly empty, they’d be good for a few vargras. He removed his armour and the thermal layers as much as he could and cut around the wounds where the blood and skin had fused with the fabric in a congealed mess. He had some spare clothing in Blue ever since the incident with the corrupted wormhole as well as basic first aid and rations to last for a month minimum. He didn’t want to be caught short again and in worse situations, but here he was in a worse situation. He cleaned his remaining wounds and bandaged them and had removed the pieces of fabric with only some pain. What he thought was molten metal must have been some healing stuff as his cuts were healed but only just and the burns from the electricity were just scars now. 

He knew his back was ravaged by scaring already from when he took the impact of the bomb back on Arus and he knew he would have burns that looked like lightning bolts across his back and probably his legs, with small burn scarring at the entry and exit points. He didn’t want to know where they were just yet. He found some loose fitting clothing and curled up in a blanket he had smuggled onto Blue, and tried to find sleep, all the adrenaline from earlier had passed out of his system and he was soon unconscious.

Before they had found the space debris, he had asked Blue to mask their signals and had turned off all comms in Blue and his helmet, and she did so, understanding that the last place he wanted to be was the Castle of Lions. He was curled up and safe inside her, though she was nervous about what he might dream about, he was tortured after all. She missed her sisters and for one small moment she unmasked her signal, hoping her sisters would sense her and know she was alright. She felt her paladins distress after two vargra’s, still asleep but she knew he was dreaming about what he had recently escaped from. She nudged his mind and let her consciousness curl around him, wishing it could be physical and tried to lull him out of his sleep, trying not to shock him awake as it would only make things worse. Lance felt the electricity go through him but he felt warmth instead of the pain and he started to wake, feeling the blankets rather than the cold metal, the loose cotton baseball shirt than tight blood soaked thermal layers. 

_You’re safe, you’re with me, I will not let anything happen to you while you have me._ Blue then sent streams of images into his head from when she was exploring the universe with her old paladins. Except it wasn’t like Coran’s stories, these were the thrill of landing on new planets that didn’t try to kill them, the fun memories of jokes once shared, a red paladin trying to say than a Klanmüirl was the perfect pet despite the fact it was clawing at everyone and everything but her. She then sent him images of weathers from across the universe and he felt his panic wane as he remembered where he was, who he was with and that he had survived and got out. He didn’t want to go back to sleep for a while and decided to find a safe spot to recover and decide what to do next. 

Pidge yelled in frustration as their newest bit of tech failed. The code was wrong the circuitry was wrong everything about it was wrong. They couldn’t go ask the Blades as they were technological dinosaurs as they relied on everyone else to make the innovations and Slav was barely in this reality and was terrified of what would happen in parallel universes or whatever and was never any help when he was lucid. 

It wasn’t the first time this had happened either, Lance had been gone for almost a week and a half and in that time they had given up on many projects and must have only had a total of ten hours sleep. Hunk wasn’t faring any better, barricading himself in the command deck staring at the maps hoping to see a signal, one they had accepted wouldn’t appear. He wouldn’t be much use when asked for help, at least not with the coding, he was better with physical engines and the way things worked rather than electronics. Matt wouldn’t be much help either, he’d just ruffle their hair and say that Pidge would figure it out soon. 

It was nice to have their brother back but it wasn’t like the old times where they would work on projects together. Both had been through different circumstances, Pidge was piloting a giant green lion that had vine lasers while Matt had been abducted by aliens literally, sent of to fight in arenas then a work camp, kept in solitary confinement before being rescued by rebels and fighting back against the Galra. 

They had become different people and they were struggling to maintain their old habits. They were frustrated and nothing was working to calm them down, neither Shiro nor Matt could talk them out of it and they internalised it all but failing to contain it. It came out in angry outbursts over the tiniest thing being wrong, always aimed at someone else, and when they were angry they had a cruel tongue. They bumped into Hunk as he ran to the dining halls,

“Watch where you’re going, idiot.”

“Pidge, there was a signal, for a second. Pidge, he might be alive!” Hunk sounded so happy and Pidge couldn’t stand it, they were having a bad day, a bad week a bad life since they stepped foot in Blue. Yet again it was all Lance’s fault.

“Fuck Hunk, how stupid actually are you? He’s dead. Stop living in some fantasy land and get with it. You’re a fucking idiot.” Hunk’s face fell and he just walked by ignoring them. As his footsteps faded, they realised what they had said. Fuck, they had a lot to make up for. It wasn’t the first time they’d said stuff like that to people. Shiro, Allura, Coran and now Hunk. It was going to take more than an apology to show how sorry they were. 

Lance and Blue landed on a moon on a gas giant at the edge of the next system they came close to, and he started to talk with Blue working out what would their next step be. Return to Voltron under his own or wonder about the universe doing what he could till he was found, if he wanted to be found.

“They just want me for Voltron but I don’t want to keep you from your pride. But I don’t want to put myself in a situation where no one cares about me and I break to a point where I see no point. I survived Lotor and I want to survive this war.”

_miss my sisters but you matter too, I have been around for many many decapheebs. I can wait. What did that Galra give you?_ /p >

“It looks like a chip, can you access it?”

_Its not galra technology, so I could._

“You’re not questioning my judgement of trusting them?”  
_There is more to war than being one side good and the other bad. There are so many shades of grey and it’s the people who suffer the most not the governments. I trust your judgement and I will be here to advise if you so wish it._

_I will always want your input sweet,_ Lance sent back as he placed the chip into one of the readers on the control screens and Galran script came up, with a map and a more up to date system for beacons and history over the last ten thousand years. He was glad he could pick up languages easily otherwise he’d be fucked in deep space. There were two main languages that were spoken in the empire, Galran or the common tongue which was surprisingly like English, even if there were some differences. He had taken it upon himself to learn the languages and the main phrases of any planet they landed on that didn’t know the common language so he was at least conversational. It got him by and he had never been more glad he had, all this was in Galran probably to save the guards skin.

He pulled up the map and he was overjoyed to see that a familiar planet in the vast system.

“Blue, we’re going back to Crona” he said with a sincere smile playing over his lips for the first time in weeks, maybe months. 

Soon enough Hunk had found Allura and had dragged her along with everyone else to the command deck, pointing out where he though he saw Lance’s signal. 

“Does this have a rewind button?” he asked.

“No it only shows real time.”

“Ten thousand years and there’s no rewind button. How original,” muttered Pidge darkly, they were still up tight and frustrated and nothing was alleviating it, despite the guilt from earlier. They could train it off like Shiro or Keith did nor did they talk about their feelings either. Or at least not to the extent that Hunk did with Lance. 

It was his fault they were here in the first place. 

“Pidge now is not the time for your comments. You know if something is bothering you we’re here if you want to talk or do something.” Shiro’s voice was stern and even, the one usually reserved for Lance when he was irritating everyone. He also sounded just done with everything, looking for Lance, dealing with fighting without him, leading Voltron and even living with whatever plagued his mind, he was just done with it all. Pidge mumbled an apology and took a step back, not wishing to let their anger get the better of them. 

“He was there I swear it. He’s alive.” Hunk sounded so sure and eager it made something inside of Pidge resurface, a part they’d ignored since finding Matt. How much they actually enjoyed Lance’s presence and without it they truly were lost. They felt their eyes sting and refusing to cry in front of every turned tail and ran from the command deck. For some reason they ran to Green rather than their lab or their room, and a familiar feeling crept into their mind, knowing Green was trying to soothe them. 

The tears started to trickle down their face and the realisation of just how much they missed Lance and what he had done for them came crashing down.  
“I treated him so bad. Ever since the Garrison he was trying to include me and just listened. The worst part is that I miss him more for what he does for me rather than himself, he talked to me so I would talk it through and make the necessary adjustments and now everyone is here and expects me to perfect at all this but he never. He just sat and listened and comforted me when I did go wrong, not expecting anything.” The tears were falling fast and they were rambling, Pidge hadn’t been this upset since they had initially lost Matt and their father. “I took his for granted and I do miss him but not as much as his actions. I miss his kindness and how he made the quiet seem bearable and here I am being selfish.” What felt like a caress entered in their mind as a new voice joined the hangar.

“Pidge? You in here?” It was Shiro and they remembered when they had first gone to get Green and all their doubts. Pidge emerged from Green and sank down by the way as Shiro made his way over. 

“He is alive you know. Black told me, that signal was Blue reassuring the lions that they are alive.” Hunks hope hadn’t been misguided and what had they done? Sat around tinkering and yelling at people, that’s what. 

“But you should be lashing out at people, we are a team you know.”

“But none of you are Lance. He filled the space left by Matt and now he’s gone and Matt and I are two different people. I only just realised how much I cared for him but even then, I miss his actions more than him.”

“Ah, I think we’re all guilty of that. The lions aren’t too happy with us either. Not enough to break the bonds but the disapproval of leaving one of their own is there. One of our own too I suppose.” Even Shiro didn’t see him as one of their own unless it was an afterthought. What had they been doing to him? 

Pidge got up and made their apologies to Shiro for snapping at him earlier that day and retreated to their lab. Pidge had kept the rubbish people they had made to keep themselves company before the fuzzy floaty beings arrived. They took out the Lance person and sat him down, it wasn’t speaking but even just imagining that it was Lance in all his curiosity and questioning was enough. They managed to finish a small piece and fell asleep leaned up against the wall. When he was back with them, they would do better by them, Pidge promised to themselves as they finally got more than two hours of sleep.

Lance flew Blue towards Crona, the gold energy beam still pulsing in the depths of space, like he was being called home or Blue, either way both had an affinity for the water. Entry into the atmosphere was at least more controlled than the last time and he got to appreciate how beautiful Crona really was. The mountains along its equator and the ice surrounding it. They dived straight into water through the ice, glad to be back in salt water. It really was salt water too; the kind Lance could find back on Earth and for some reason it made his heart sing. 

“Let go meet Her Majesty and Plaxum again. What ya say girl?” Blue let out a roar, announcing their arrival and swan towards the village, though it was more like a large town compared to the ones he’d seen on earth, but considering most planets he had visited were mono-cultured, he was sure this was a village by those standards. Soon enough some of the guards came out to meet them and Luxia and Plaxum, Blumfump and Swirn following close behind. He made his way out of Blue and tried to bow at the waist towards Luxia, but started to somersault in the water. Laughing gently Plaxum helped him up right. 

“You have returned, we trust that you are well,” Luxia greeted him, a smile over her face. 

“I am glad to see you and well, there may be some slight issues.” Lance was wincing slightly as all the water was entering his wounds and they were starting to hurt like hell. Almost immediately Blumfump and Swirn were supporting him as they swam through the water towards the castle and he was in agony. Before their descent, he had changed into thermals again and he felt like he was back on Lotor’s ship but he knew he would be in artic conditions and loose fitting clothing would make him freeze instantly. Blue had put hup her force field to allow herself to be dragged along by Luxia’s guards and he was glad when they had reached the entrance. He was taken to one of the heated rooms and left to float and Luxia and the others took him in fully, especially with his helmet of and an air bubble on. 

“Lance, what happened to you?” the shock in Plaxums voice was echoed in the expressions of everyone in the room. He wasn’t in the mood to flirt or even make light of his situation. He let his shoulders slump and he was sure they were just referring to the damage on his face.

“It gets worse, would you mind, Your Majesty?”

“No.” He pulled his thermal layer off down so that it floated at waist height and by the looks on their faces he probably looked horrific, he then saw himself in a mirror, in a three quarter profile he could see the lightning scars all over his brown skin and the scars that criss-crossed his chest, that massive slice to his cheek and he was back into the cell again. 

The cold biting into his wrists and ankles, the purple lighting pulsing as it kept him awake and ensured sleep deprivation.  
He came back with a start and he could hear Blues roaring and her voice filling his mind, comforting him and soothing him, he was shaking and he felt broken.  
_If you were broken you wouldn’t be here, if you were broken I’d find a way to help you put yourself together again. You may have fallen and got hurt but you did not break._

“I’m sorry. I was captured by Lotor, tortured and im pretty sure theres a bounty on my head as I escaped execution,” He stumbled through his words and he felt like he was choking on them as it was the first time he had admitted it, to himself or anyone else. 

“We can help with the unhealed injuries if you want,” Swirn said, he remembered that she had been the one to figure out how to break the hypnosis and was their first aider. He gave a small nod and was grateful when they knocked him unconscious as they moved him to their medical bays.

When he awoke he was alone and noticed the monitors attached to him, not long after he was greeted by Plaxum and Luxia. Lance was informed that all the damage to his internal organs would finish healing in their equivalent of a week and they had quickened the healing process of his broken ribs. All the recent cuts that were not healed now where.

“We couldn’t heal any of the burns or the older injuries, we’re sorry.”

“Don’t be, you’ve done more than enough. Thank you,” he gave a weak smile “This food’s not going to hypnotise me again?” Luxia chuckled softly,

“No it wont, all here are safe and warm after all.” Lance actually laughed, the genuine laugh he rarely gave to people. 

“There’s no war in Ba Sing Se,” he muttered to himself once he had calmed down then set himself off again. It felt good to laugh. 

“You are more than welcome to stay and heal. Do you want us to contact your team?”

“No, they don’t want me around, but can I take up your offer to stay?”

“Of course, I’m sure Plaxum can show you to some free quarters not too far from people if you need us.” He was sure she was talking about the PTSD he now had, it didn’t take a genius to work that out and he was glad that they had noticed that too. He had also made his decision it seemed, he would not actively seek out the Castle of Lions or alert them to his presence. Blue acknowledged his decision, and though she didn’t agree with most of it, it wasn’t her decision to make but she would support him and guide him. 

“Lance, may I ask what happened? Not the Galra stuff, but, why are you so down. It’s like you’ve hidden yourself away.” 

“That’s cos its exactly what I did, the team no longer wanted me except for Voltron. Just now was the first time I laughed in months. How have you been?”

“It’s been good, we’ve been helping to restore the thermal vents after they were damaged by the Baku, trade has resumed and the energy beam still works as a communicator as well as disrupting the planets natural frequency. Unless they specifically look for the planet in pods without guidance systems, they cannot find us or have corrupted signal. They cannot steal out planets quintessence, they also don’t like water so we are more or less safe here.” Lance was impressed, they had lasted so long without galra influence despite Lotor’s ship being a galaxy away. 

“We’ve been taking in refugees that seek aid though some cannot survive underwater so we’ve been using the cave systems in the mountains. It’s harder to send messages to them but they’re safe at least.”

“That’s nice to hear, everywhere we’ve been, its always people running, its nice to see for some people they’ve managed to stop.” They fell into a comfortable silence and soon Lance was in front of a set of doors near the royal suites. 

“All of our rooms are nearby if you need one of us, Blue is just outside on the balcony if you want her,”

He gave Plaxum a quick hug and gave his thanks before entering the room, there was a bed and some clothing for him and the room was heated by one of the thermal vents. Large open holes in the rock surface acted as windows to a balcony and true to their words, Blue was there. He was glad to see that there were some clothes available as he changed out of his thermal layer and left in his boxers picked up clothes to change into in the morning. They reminded him more of happier times spent on Varadero Beach and the sea on Earth and he felt slightly safer knowing the Galra wouldn’t find him here.

He swam to Blue and gained entry, and dried off, glad to be breathing air again rather than the air filtered by the bubble. He nestled in his duvet nest, no longer afraid of causing himself further damage then drifted off into a troubled sleep, waking up every other vargra and always to the warm embrace of a giant blue metal lion. 

Pidge found Hunk the next day after their outburst. He bristled when they came near, as though his was preparing himself for whatever comment came next. Pidge took one of the seats at the table and waited till Hunk joined them. 

“Hunk, I’m sorry about the things I said to you, they were hurtful and you’re not an idiot. You’re the only one who hadn’t given up on him and my anger and frustration was taken out on you.”

“Thank you for your apology, its because Lance isn’t there to tease you out of it, isn’t it?” Hunk was perceptive when it came to people, it seemed to be something they both had picked up from Lance, who could read people as if it was just another language to be learnt. 

“Yeah, I’ve only just realised how much I miss him. I realised yesterday that I’ve been like the way I have because all my ways of dealing with shit went when Lance did. He became my brother when Matt was gone and even now. I still get along with Matt but we’re too different from who we were. Yesterday I missed what he did for me, now I just miss him.

“Shiro told me there's a chance he may be alive and that our lions were disappointed in us, and I never thought at how much I hurt him. Taking everything he had to give and never giving anything back except insults that I actually meant at the time. Then we told him to deal with what we thought was him being stupid, alone. He could have died thinking we no longer wanted him.” Pidges voice began to crack and it was true. They hadn’t treated Lance well nor given anything positive to him after all he did for them, but they missed how his laugh, when genuine was infectious. The broad lopsided smile and the way he made space less empty, the way he made them feel like they had a family again. 

“I miss him too, he didn’t deserve to be lost in space if he was dead and the team focusing on Blue only. But there was that small blip of life. I still have hope. We will find him, even if we have to take down the entire empire to do so.”

“And you’ll have me by your side hacking into whatever needs to be hacked. I believe you, lets get our Lance back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp, things i should be doing - packing to move from my uni flat for my gap year. things im not doing - that. what am i actually doing procrastinating on tumblr and writing angst!!!! i cant even write any fluff rn it all angst!!!
> 
> im sorry if the updates are a bit frequent or ends up being iffy, i have finished uni and i really dont have anyone in rl to hang with and until im back home in england, i have a week of nothing but packing. then i work for most days upon return. i work in retail and this is where all the planning happens, so i egt home and write. so yeah im sorry if these annoy you guys. especially if you see my tumblr....
> 
> thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed it!!!


	4. Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance admits he needs help and makes a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theres nothing much in this that needs a warning. Lance basically realises he needs help and what can be interpreted as previous mental health issues. 
> 
> i hope you enjoy this!!!!
> 
> also pronunciation for Geoghegan ( Gayge-gan) its irish and could have been spelt worse if i could get the accent to work properly.

All he had ever known was the Galran Empire, throughout his early education it was how the Empire overthrew their oppressors, the Altean’s, and created a universe that was at peace. As he grew older the more he questioned this as he saw how the empire treated its captives, and its people. Many men were sent to work in camps unless they had an apprenticeship or joined the army, and many galran women were expected to care for children and to work the land, sell goods and basically do everything. There was a reason that the armies had gotten so big in the first place, the camps were notorious and they would at least have food and board in the army with money being sent home.

Plutox had been born on a small military base out in the outermost regions of the empire and as he was abandoned at birth, he had only ever known military life. but that didn’t stop him from sneaking out of the bases to look at the planets from afar, wondering what life was like, to have some sense of freedom. As he grew older he was sent off to other bases and as he did, he saw how planets under the Empire’s rule were treated and destroyed, he saw how many Galrans themselves suffered, unable to resist out of fear for their loved ones and themselves.

He had heard legends about the Blades of Mamora from old and knew they existed as he had seen one take down many sentries at once, he had surrendered his weapon and asked to join them but all he got was a laugh. He learnt then they were elitist quiznakers who sat on their asses and only played safe moves. Then the Rebels appeared, all escaped prisoners of the Galra from many, many different planets and systems as well as some people who were sick of living in fear. He had encountered them many times too but they would never accept that a Galran wouldn’t like the regime that they were forced to live. 

Plutox had come to accept his fate and that it wasn’t going to get better anytime soon, but that wouldn’t mean he wouldn’t try to make the small differences, the noise and ripples he made weren’t large but noticeable by those who knew where to look. He treated prisoners with respect and tried to make their last days as easy as possible, slipping them more food or pain blockers so when the final blows came they wouldn’t feel it. He vocally opposed the gladiator fights, spewing reasons against his ideology but he would say anything to have the fighting stopped. It was cruel and unnecessary, too much blood had been spilled by those who took pleasure in harming innocent people.

They then took notice in him and somehow managed to approach him and he had been glad, here were people who were actively undermining the Empire, actually getting shit done while not just going in and blowing shit up like the rebels did while leaving power vacuums. The full resistance was made up of smaller resistances all working together, freeing planets when they could. He went to work as a spy and still going about as he did before. It didn’t matter if he died if it helped to free people safely. What he hadn’t meant to do was become one of the Leaders of the Galran Resistance, but if he fell another person could replace him.

That view changed when he met Fluro, his husband. Fluro was a half breed and had been shunned, then locked away in a cell at the first chance his community had found. Plutox freed him and soon they were friends, then they fell in love. At thirty cycles of age, he married Fluro and less than three cycles later they had two children that they had rescued when they had been left to die. Geoghegan was missing a leg and Maxie was immobile from the waist down. Not that it stopped them, the children and Fluro lived in Resistance bases that were so diverse, they were accommodated easily with an exoskeleton being made for Maxie and prosthetics for Geoghegan. They were given a life they would never have in the Empire and were somewhat free from its reach and propaganda. 

Not soon after his thirty-fifth cycle, Voltron reappeared, the entire empire was talking about it and how Zarkon was driven to capturing it, then how he became obsessed with it, allowing the empire to fall. It meant that the resistance was taking back more planets as the bulk of the army was at his central command. He had then been reassigned to Lotor’s ship in the days after Zarkon was finally felled. Plutox knew he had and a few others were on the legions assigned to Lotor and they would be the ones feeding then Resistance everything, but this time around death was no longer an option. He had a reason to survive. 

Then the Blue paladin arrived, and for the next two weeks he was tortured and yet he didn’t give up, it was the longest anyone had survived under Lotor’s intense gaze. He knew not what species this Lance was but he healed fast, even without the healing fluids. Then an innocent Bulma was sentenced to execution and he slipped them a pain blocker knowing that their death would not be swift or painless. He then stole the armour and communicator and encrypted a resistance chip to only be read by the Blue Lion. He had helped him escape and then sent a message to command.

The leaders that formed the command centre were not pleased to say the least but, it meant that they were in communication with the Blue Paladin at least, and just maybe, they could find more hope to bring to people and find a way to finish the empire once and for all. 

 

Lance was finally getting sleep but yet again the nightmare came and he woke up under duvets. He knew it was going to be hard but he would get there, and he had at least had some sleep. He decided that he would look through the information on the chip and was glad to see that it could be translated into the common language. To his surprise there was a small button to the side, which lead to a message of video feed option. He clicked on the message and typed thank you in galran, he hoped that whoever had helped him would be safe. He then flicked through the history of the empire, it was brief but to the point. 

**Ten thousand cycles ago, Altea fell But Galra fell before it, destroyed by its own ruler. She died an unnatural death with all the quintessence taken and poured into their leader who then blamed the Alteans. Knowing that their weapon worked, they sent fire raining down on Altea as they waged war, it lasted only two quintets and then Altea was devoid of quintessence and Voltron was scattered across the known and unknown cosmos. None of the paladins survived. What made this worse was those who opposed Zarkon and couldn’t escape were left on Galra and their quintessence was taken as well.**

There was then a list of the major things the Empire had done and how its people, galra or otherwise were treated. Lance’s heart ached for these people, Blue was right. The Galran civilians were suffering and the only ones who benefited were those who were agreeing with Zarkon or who personally benefitted from all that he was doing. He remembered Earth history and it was the same, too many innocent people suffering at the hands of the few and how hard it was to actually get change. And if these records were accurate, most of the initial resistance had been murdered and dealt with as they were raising hell. According to Allura, the galran people had ten thousand years to fight, any rebel groups to form and it looks like if they had, it had to be low key, doing the small acts that lead to bigger things, but if they were crushed over and over again while Allura had been asleep? 

He acknowledged Allura’s bias and lack of knowledge, they had only been going to planets with distress beacons as they believed Galra occupied territory to be too dangerous to stay for more than three quintets. And most of Allura’s intel was thousands of years old and came from biased sources.

A beeping came from the chip as a message had been received.

**I hope you are ok and safe. You’re not the only one with a family to protect or trying for change.**

Lance paused at that, he knew he had spoken about his family and he knew not all Galra were bad, but it sounded like they were part of something bigger. 

_Is this a secure?_

**Yes. They will not catch me either. It uses a signal jammer like the one used on the planet you’re on now, it’s no coincidence.**

_You’re not the Blades or the Rebels then, you must be resistance._

**Again you are correct. We are many resistances, we are the Interplanetary Alliance.**

_And you want Voltron’s aid?_

**If you are offering we are in no position to decline but that was not my intention, I got hell for even helping you escape. I jeopardised our position on this ship and the intel we gain.**

_I still owe you for that and you have my help as the Blue Paladin of Voltron. Blue also sends her thanks and enjoyed your mutterings when you were watching over her._

**They’re a she? She’s sentient?**

_Yes, all of the lions are. Also, if you do want my help it’s there, but please don’t expect the rest of Voltron._

**I won’t pry. But even your help is appreciated. I will pass word to our central command. My name is Plutox, I do this as a sign of trust.**

_The Blue Lion represents Trust and Loyalty, your name is safe with me._

Lance was still puzzled at what Plutox had insinuated about the signal jammer, though it had made sense, if they were accepting refugees then it was possible that they were part of this resistance. He would have to ask but first, he needed to let the internal injuries finish healing as well as his ribs. It was still early morning and he was glad when Plaxum knocked on his door to alert him about breakfast. 

“We have other people in the palace if you need to see them, I don’t know the word for it in your language but it translates to head doctor?”

“You mean a psychiatrist? I believe it would be best for me to see them. Thank you Plaxum.” As they swam to the dining area, they talked about what had happened in between his departure from Crona up till his doomed mission to that moon. Finding Shiro, why they had to find Shiro in the first place and all the hell that had happened before hand. He started to think to himself, that maybe he could find another place in the universe, as Lance McClain not the Blue Paladin. He didn’t want that title to be his defining feature, and he said as much to Plaxum as they entered the dining hall.

The dining hall itself was spectacular, built into a chasm and full of bioluminescence and what seemed to be pearl inlay and other such items he could find in salt water. The table itself was long but Luxia, and the other two were sitting close by and all in talking distance. He took a seat though he occasionally floated a bit, and was glad to start to eat. It was a bit awkward with the air bubble and eating but he got used to it. 

Conversation flowed and he began to ask questions about the signal in the energy beam and how it distorts signals, and how it could be used in communication.  
“You’re asking about the Interplanetary Alliance, aren’t you?” Luxia asked, catching onto where the conversation was headed.

“Yes, when I escaped I was helped by a Galra with one of the resistances, he gave me a chip with a way to communicate and he said it was safe as it worked on the same signal distortion. I may not be the smartest but I can put some things together.”

“When we sent out the beacon, we were contacted by the Alliance and after you had explained the plight of the universe, we decided as a planet to help. We have never been conquered or even had to fight the Galra because of the frequency the planet resonates at naturally. It is beyond the capabilities of Galran biology and it causes them intense pain so they left us alone. It’s also what makes the energy beacon untraceable to them as it just comes up as cosmic noise to their systems.

“Some scientists and engineers from the Alliance worked out how to recreate the frequency digitally and its now incorporated into most of the new technology we develop throughout the systems.” Luxia explained, and Lance was impressed. It was clear that the Alliance was doing more than the Blade or the Rebels did and was more co-ordinated rather than waiting for safer missions or going in all guns blazing with no thought for the future of the planets. 

“Would you be able to add it to Blue? It would be a great help to be hidden from the Galra.” It could also mean he could escape the eyes of the Castle of Lions, he wasn’t ready to go back; he didn’t know when he would either. 

“We can install it as soon as you are ready,” Blumfump replied, “we designed it to integrate into systems on a variety of platforms. As long as your lion is ok with using it, we shouldn’t have a problem. It taps into the hard ware not her conscious, all her functions won’t be affected.” 

They ate their food while the conversation took other turns, such as how he was able to talk with Blue and how the bonds worked. They asked him was his home world was like and he was truthful, though he missed Earth, Crona was enough to make him feel a little less homesick. He had a captive audience as he told them of Earth’s seas and the weather and the land. He told them of his family and life. He even started to make jokes and he relaxed in a way he hadn’t since he found himself in space. 

He was joking the way he did with his family and light heartedly flirted with them all, knowing it wouldn’t go anywhere but enjoying it nonetheless. He was with friends again and they reciprocated it too, it had been too long since he was treated with his feelings in mind and he felt genuine connections with all four of them.  
Queen Luxia ended up having to excuse herself as she needed to fulfil her duties to her people and respond to the queries of the planets new inhabitants above the surface. 

“Your Majesty, I would like to help if I can, I know I may not be able to lift things, but I do know people.”

“We will visit later today then, it would be nice to have your help.” She smiled and swam out of the hall, Plaxum swam into his vision, not wanting to frighten him.

“We can go see that doctor if you want.” He nodded, he wanted help and he did need it. Lance couldn’t lie to himself and say he was ok. He had done that once before and it hadn’t ended well, it was only at the point of breaking beyond repair than he acknowledged to himself that he needed help. He felt more confident in the decision when Blues words wondered into his mind.

_I’m proud of you for asking for help._

He knew it would be a painful experience mentally and would leave him exhausted but he wouldn’t be able to do much if he didn’t get himself help. 

 

Plutox didn’t expect another message from the Blue Paladin so soon, a message came in later in the quintet.

 **I want to help the Alliance. I am on Crona and I want to help.**

_I will send word to those above me and they will contact Luxia. There is a bounty on your head so please be careful._

**I will, and you too. I realise I haven’t thanked you yet, so thank you, you helped me though you didn’t need to and I believe you did so at great personal risk. I hope I can repay that to you in whatever way I can.**

Plutox was touched, he rarely was offered kindness when he was away from his family or in Alliance territory. Being in the Galran army was more fending for yourself past the regular meals and he knew that comradarie was low. Especially on Lotors ship.

Ever since Lance’s escape, the ship had been in turmoil as Lotor raged and went in rampage upon rampage throughout his ship. His toy had been taken and he was throwing the temper tantrum of the decapheeb. He had killed a lot of the guards and destroyed most of the sentry drones, and it wasn’t a painless instant death either. He then went down on one of the worlds and slaughtered an entire city for the hell of it. 

Plutox had been lucky in that he wasn’t caught nor was he caught up in the aftermath. He had to survive, he had his husband and children waiting for him, he wouldn’t die without living with them for many years first. He missed them like hell and he didn’t know how much longer he could be cooped up on the ship with no real interaction. It was still down time for him and he picked up the receiver to the chip the Blue Paladin had. 

_Please don’t feel that you need to, I’m just one of many who would do the same._

**Plutox, you showed me kindness and helped me. On my planet, in my culture and my family, that is something that’s not forgotten. I also want to. You said you had a family to protect, well so do I kind of.**

Plutox was puzzled, _Kind of? I don’t mean to intrude, please don’t feel like you have to answer._

**I thought I had a family in the team that made up Team Voltron but, they saw me more as the person who flies Blue and fucks up all the time rather than Lance, a person. I’ve been away from my family back on Earth for so long, I’m sure they’ve been told I’m dead. I thought I had a place but no, I don’t.**

_Please excuse me but what is “fuck” Blue Paladin?_

**Please call me Lance, I’m not the Blue Paladin. I just happen to fly the blue lion and form the leg of Voltron, too many people have told me I have not earned that right. I also prefer Lance. And Fuck is like quiznak, but easier to use. And more versatile. It’s a great word really.**

Plutox chuckled at the word fuck, if it was like quiznak that had survived the fall of Altea, he was sure he would one day be using it fluently. 

_Thank you, Lance, for telling me this, and for making me laugh. I’ve spent too long on this damned ship and genuine happiness is hard to come by. Are you returning to Voltron?_

**No, it’s best for me and the team. At least not yet. There is a chance I endanger them more if I return before I am ready. Either by what I say or the galra find me.  
Please don’t feel like you need to be formal with me. **

He did not how he had become friendly with Lance over the course of a few quintets but he had, and it was something he couldn’t explain. He didn’t wait to see if Lance replied before going to his single bunk, he had small private quarters and it was easy to hide the chip that lead to the Alliance’s leaders. A collection of members form every resistance and as one of the leaders for the Galra and chief spy, he had to tell them.

“Lance, the Blue Paladin of Voltron has offered his help to the Alliance. He is safe and his Lion and comms unit is having the disruptors installed into the system. He has been separated from his team but as such has no wish to rejoin them.” Not that I blame him he thought to himself, Lance hadn’t said much but he left enough to read between the lines. “I believe he will be a valuable asset.” 

“He has a bounty and isn’t it suspicious that he does not want to rejoin the legendary Voltron?” Barra queried, they were from a planet that had been forgotten since its destruction a handful had managed to flee but they were few and far between and were currently representing the Carpathia systems resistance.  
“From what he has told me he has not taken this lightly and is doing so to protect the rest of his team from the Galra as he knows there is a bounty and its Lotor. I couldn’t stop his slaughter nor could I give aid. If we have his help, we could become greater and actually organise something.

“His lion is faster than anything we have and he is approachable and he just wants to help. With the right help, he could become a great.” He didn’t say what Lance would be great at as Plutox knew people would rally behind Lance for more than propaganda, because he inspired hope but easy to talk to , He just knew that with the right help, a self esteem boost and some friends, Lance could easily bring an end to the war quicker than they could without him.

There was much deliberation and Plutox fought for Lance despite knowing him for a few quintets, but he had heard what Lance had been screaming while he was on Lotor’s ship, how he heard him yelling at people to stop, people he once trusted. Yet though they had hurt him, he still didn’t betray them. He had Lance’s emotional and physical pain and heard what was said to manipulate him and the laughs that eventually formed. He had heard Lance’s taunting at Lotor, how fearless he had become and how he had made Lotor speechless for a second. He had made the universe’s most arrogant, self-absorbed and egotistical dick speechless because he refused to go down without a fight. It was time someone fought for him. And Plutox succeeded and word was sent to Crona. 

 

Lance was in the mountains helping with the relief effort by entertaining the children of all the species that were living in the cave systems. He told them stories of his youth that his grandfather taught him, the stories of the Celts and the mythology of Gaelic Scotland. He told them about the stories from Cuba and the stories passed down from his Mama’s side. He told them about the weather and he told them about what it was like to fly with Blue, who was sitting at the mouth of the cave a few metres behind him. 

After a few hour’s he wondered off to Blue to have a break and he found himself thinking about the music he once had listened to, it helped to keep him distracted and calm. 

Sometimes I think I'm not that strong  
But there's a force that carries me on  
Sick of my small heart, made of steel  
Sick of the wounds that never heal

He chuckled inwards, it was the perfect song for his situation and how he felt. He had loved the artist since he was young and somehow had managed to find it in the archives, it was more than thirty years old but not that he cared.

Oh baby, you know  
What I'm talking about  
Got nothing to lose and nothing to prove  
Oh baby, I'm bowing out  
I'm bowing out  
Yeah, I've been dancing with the devil  
I love that he pretends to care  
If I'll ever get to heaven  
When a million dollars gets you there  
Oh, all the time that I have wasted  
Chasing rabbits down a hole  
When I was born to be the tortoise  
I was born to walk alone

He was lost in his own world and hadn’t noticed that Luxia had sent a messenger to him, requesting his presence back at her castle. He made his way back into Blue and they swam lazily back. When he returned, he found a bubble cone and removed his helmet, Luxia, Blumfump, Swirn and Plaxum found him soon after and showed him to what could be described as a war room. There was a large table with holographs of people around it and the five of them took their seats. A large wyrm like creature held his gaze and spoke,

“Lance, Blue Paladin of Voltron, welcome to the Interplanetary Alliance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I LOVE PLUTOX AND HE BASICALLY IS THE CINNAMON ROLL OF THIS FIC, HE IS TOO GOOD TOO PURE. AND WILL OF COURSE SUFFER (TO SOME DEGREEE) IN THIS FIC :D 
> 
> also you guys actually like this??? its amazing that you do and you have my eternal thanks for every read, comment and Kudo. like i still cant comprehend that you guys are amazing! it really did start out as my lack of angst in too many books and not enough Langst. I also have no idea how long this is gonna be so yay? 
> 
> the song referenced in this is [Forget by Marina And The Diamonds](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17UL5ks9amY)


	5. Do I Believe In Us?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro is Done, Lance has a small crisis and finds a new family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE DONT HATE ME FOR THIS CHAPTER!!!!! Everything in here is done for a reason and will be explained soon!!! This has all been planned out!!!
> 
> Having said that, hope you enjoy :D

Shiro was really starting to feel Lance’s absence, and notice it around the castle. His signal hadn’t been seen again but Black had assured him that Blue was safe. Lance had been missing three weeks now and it was starting to show in everyone now. Hunk and Pidge were always in the command deck looking at the star charts or in their lab working on things that could find Lance. Not losing their hope or determination. Coran was more introverted, not sharing his usual stories and it seemed that all life had seeped out of him when he lost his kindred spirit. Allura was turning in on herself, questioning the smallest thing and running herself ragged, she was getting to the point where they were struggling to wormhole and he knew she blamed herself. Then there was Keith, who was Keith. He refused to talk about it or even acknowledge the lack of Lance in the castle, he just went on as normal and it seemed like he was also slightly happier? 

It wasn’t just an individual effect Lace’s disappearance had, they couldn’t form Voltron and even when they were required to fight, the battles seemed harder. They were still protecting each other but Keith wasn’t grounded and making risky decisions that affected the others, Hunk was taking more shots while trying to protect the others and Pidge was an unbridled ball of fury on the battlefield. Shiro just felt lost in them and he noticed that no one had their backs. Lance really was needed and he regretted not saying as much. They hadn’t realised that by putting him at the back he was seeing the battle from afar and made him play to his strengths as a sniper. He called himself their sharpshooter and they had dismissed him and not trusted his judgement in battle. He wasn’t utilised as he could have been. 

Shiro also noticed that Lance had been right about a few things when it came to their plans, but the castle felt as empty as space was. Lance was no longer there and filling the space with humour or an attempt to keep the mood up or allowing himself to be the fool so people could let out their frustrations. Or just to talk to or to make the kind gestures when no one else noted when space and the war was getting to them. 

When Shiro was having the nightmares that plagued his sleep he would find a bowl of food or a water pouch as he made his way to the kitchens. He had assumed it was Hunk but they stopped when Lance disappeared, he missed the kind actions even when he had done nothing to deserve it. 

The fight against a fleet of battle cruisers from earlier took a lot out of them, and Shiro had yet to emerge from his hangar, not that he cared. He was content to sit with Black and to talk with her.

“Do you think they’re ok Black?”  
_Your team is strong and they are fighting hard, its natural they would be stressed._

“I mean Lance and Blue, you haven’t heard them or felt them again have you?”

_No my little one, I have not._

Shiro liked it when Black called him her little one and it filled him with no small amount of pride that she had chosen him and fought for him. 

“I never realised how much we all needed Lance, either in battle of on the team. I saw what he was training on the morning after he left, he had forgotten to switch it back to normal again.” He laughed thinking about how much Lance had tried to hide his training but that one time he didn’t and he had almost been hit with multiple lasers as the deck projected a melee. “He was at a higher level than Keith too, and he figured out how to make the deck work for him.” To tell the truth, Shiro was a bit in awe of Lance now. Everyone had left him to himself and only belittled him and he was doing all this to prove them wrong? 

_Blue’s paladin is strong and he will survive this. It may be some time before he returns however, and he may not return the same._

“I know, look at me, I was just a pilot on a mission to a dwarf planet at the edge of our solar system and look where I am now. Two years later and I can’t even sleep without being reminded of one horror or another.” He felt Black send a surge of warmth and a feeling of protectiveness towards him, as if she could chase them all away. 

“Back home we had ways of helping to treat this, but out here? It’s always a constant struggle to remain here and not just take you to the furthest reaches of the universe and become a space hermit.”

_My Little One,_ Black crooned, and lay down so that her head was less than a metre away from Shiro. _It’s not a bad thing to ask for help and say when enough is enough. Blue says this enough to hers and I will tell you the same, you are not broken, worn and in need of a rest but not broken. I will add this, you are not a weapon or something the galra destroyed and remade. You are my Little one Shiro._

Shiro smiled and reached out with his left hand to stroke the metal of Blacks snout, “Thank you Black. I believe its time I had a talk with Allura and Coran.” That talk could wait though, he wanted to stay a while and let Black encase his mind as he drifted off into a mercifully dreamless sleep. 

 

Lance looked around the table and took in just how many there were, many different species were represented and he was sure this was just the highest set of commanders. He nodded and took his seat next to Luixa while the others stood behind them, he was unsure of what he would do next. 

“Lance, if you want to say something, do so now.” Luxia whispered to him and he thought carefully about his words. 

“I do not believe it would be wise for me to be of use in rescue missions as I am too big a target, but I can be a distraction till they catch on. I am ready to be of service to the Alliance.”

“There is no need to be that formal Blue Paladin, or do you prefer Lance? We aren’t going to serve you up on a silver platter as bait. We’ve seen what you have done for Crona and how you bought the cave dwelling people and the bottom dwellers together and how you made a common ground. We have also looked into you and what you’ve done outside of Voltron. We want you to help and advise us.”

Lance was speechless, and then common sense kicked in. 

“You wouldn’t want me, I will just mess up and cause a fuss and unnecessary worry, I’m more use as a distraction.” He was confused why this caused uproar.

“You have the people of Arus’ full support and spoke of your sacrifice against the Galra, we have yet to find anyone beside hostile Galra that have anything bad to say about you. Don’t you see how important you are?” Lance had shut down and he couldn’t process it all. There were people who thought, incorrectly, that he was important. He barely registered Luxia speaking and the hand that was on his shoulder.

“Lance is still recovering from his time on Lotor’s ship and will not be able to travel for another few quintets. But he will join you within the week.” He floated up and swam out the hall, leaving Luxia to talk with them. Plaxum was by his side, one arm around his as he tried to comprehend what he had heard.

She lead him away from the room to an observatory, not of the stars but of the ocean, a perfect little hollow in the rock where they could sit as watch the wildlife swim by. Her touch didn’t waver as he sat down on one of the soft coral like creatures and saw the jellyfish from the cave floating around him. The one that he had previously worn floated by him nudging against him demanding to be petted. It was a weird feeling, stroking a jellyfish – all flub and no real flesh, but he did so as he stared into the ocean. 

“What they said is true, you did unite us. And they saw how you interacted with the children on the surface,” said Plaxum, her eyes drifting over a large whale like creature that was chasing its own tail, its mother just slightly behind it.

“That was me being a brother. It wasn’t anything special.”

“Maybe that’s what we need right now.”

Lance was silent for a minute, he needed to talk to someone otherwise he would implode. Their equivalent of a psychologist was helping with the PTSD but he needed to get what he was thinking straight otherwise he would be of no use to resistance and fly straight to the Galra. 

“Hey Plax, can we talk about somethings?” Plaxum noticed the serious tone in Lance’s voice and nodded and let Lance speak. He talked about how he was left behind and how it lead to his capture and the circumstances that led up to it. He talked about how he felt about it and the conflict in his brain between doing what was right for the universe and Voltron and what was ultimately good for himself and how he could never find that balance. He cried out his insecurities that had only intensified during his time out in space and how alone he felt. 

He started to yell about what the team put him through: the blatant favouritism from Shiro and Allura, Keith’s dislike even after he changed his own attitude, Pidge and her snide comments always finding their mark and Hunk. Hunk, who was meant to be his best friend, distancing himself from him and leaving him alone with the pieces around his feet as he felt himself slowly being chipped away. Lance went on about how he knew the team wouldn’t rescue him, and if they did it was because Blue needed a pilot, and that she wouldn’t accept anyone else while he was still alive. He continued to yell and vent and release all that was pent up inside of him until it had left his system and melted into the tough Plaxum was providing him.

While he was talking, Plaxum had laid his head on her tail and was soothing him by rubbing his back, as though she was comforting one of their younglings. He could see her heart breaking for him but he couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty as he carried on. When he had finished talking, she had him in her arms in a close hug and her tail wrapped around his legs, protecting him from whatever would come their way. 

“You don’t see how wonderful you truly are Lance, look at what you did, you felt all that and still formed Voltron without the others realising how bad you felt. You still protected them and fought for them and you lasted two weeks against Lotor, most don’t even last a varga. You are strong and you are brave. They’re the idiots for making you feel like this.”

Lance didn’t know how long he had wanted to hear that and for it to be as sincere. He just pulled Plaxum closer and let himself be comforted by a friend. Soon they pulled apart and started to talk about stupid things, and PLaxum was glad to see that Lance was starting to return to the one she once knew and Lance felt it too. All his internal shit had been expelled and he was starting to feel more like himself than the Blue Paladin. Then the puns and jokes came along with over the top demonstrations and him floating away by accident.

“I whaley love you Plaxum,” said Lance, making Plaxum laugh, he knew she remembered him telling her about Earths sea creatures. It was hard to keep a straight face as the sea puns got worse and worse, by the time dinner came around Lance had been laughing so much that Plaxum became concerned for his ribs. They swam to the dining hall and was more than happy to converse with the people sitting there, gently flirting at whoever was closest, making jokes all over and he felt like he was heading back to where he wanted to be. 

 

To say Shiro was done with the awkwardness of group training and bonding was an understatement. Coran lacked his usual enthusiasm and it made it harder to concentrate while Allura was running them ragged. Pidge and Hunk were more focused on Lance than the exercises and Keith was acting as though nothing had changed. Maybe it hadn’t for him or it was taking him the longest to feel his effects but he was done. He was more done than when he rescued Slav from Beta Traz. “Right, I’ve had enough of this, Pidge Hunk and Keith, go do something I would like to talk to you later. Coran and Allura, we are going to the kitchens.” He waited as the three younger paladins left and saw the two Alteans by the door waiting for him, confusion on their faces. They walked in silence to the kitchens and Shiro made teas from one of the planets they had recently visited. He sat down at the small work space and motioned to the other two to sit. 

“Is this an intervention?” asked Allura, indignation played upon her face.

“Yes. This has to do with Lance and how it’s affecting the pair of you. In different ways yes, but if we are to have any hope of finding him, this is being dealt with tonight. Black and the other Lions agree with me. They want their sister back.”

“You’re speaking with your lion? Already?” Coran was shocked and he was going to be even more soon.

“Yes, and Lance had been doing so for months. His training systems in the training deck is so complex that when I accidentally walked into one, I genuinely thought it was a real battle. I looked at the commands he had set and guess what I found. It was mid to long range training, using what his bayard is designed for, and I could have sworn I’ve seen it look different too.” Allura and Coran were stunned into silence, either by Shiro’s words or how forceful he was being. It was a change from his normal demeanour.

“We abandoned him and we have been thinking he’s useless and telling him so, when he’s done all this _on his own._ We haven’t cared about him and we never noticed what he does for us till it was too late, we never gave anything but negativity back. Its taken us this long to notice him and it feels like we miss him for what he does for us rather than Lance the person.” Shiro was practically snarling now, Black certainly was and she shared his sentiments exactly. 

“What did he do for us Shiro? What did all his training do for the team when he couldn’t do anything in the training sessions or battles?” Allura spat back, rage flickering in the hues of her eyes. 

“Everything, Allura. He kept me company when I got homesick for Altea and let me talk and he listened, he asked me to teach him Altean. He included me Allura, that says a lot about him as he didn’t have to. He left things out for Shiro at night after I caught him one night. He kept Hunk and pidge from imploding and I’m fairly sure he became Keith’s impulse control based on recent battles. He also made sure you didn’t get to this point Allura.” It was Coran who had replied, he was serious and he knew what Shiro was saying was the truth. 

“I think the only reason he flirted with you was for him to get a rise from you so you could yell at him rather than it to turn inwards, when he talked to me, he told me you reminded him of his sister and he would have loved to have seen you as such,” he continued and Allura had no reply. “as for training in battle how can someone who had a weapon designed for long range combat be of use in the field? Fine, then teach him self-defence but did any of us actually take the time to teach him? He worked out the command for the training deck instead and improved on what he knew and had to ask that to train him. Allura, we did jack shit for him.” A silence fell over them, Coran wasn’t one to swear and his statement was proven. Allura finally spoke up.

“I failed him, all of the training has been close ranged yet they fly metal lions in ranged combat most the time. I’ve treated him like dirt and he still carried on in some vain hope that it would get better.” Allura wasn’t crying but Shiro could tell the guilt was eating her alive, he placed a hand on her shoulder and gently spoke to her.

“That was the past and when we find Lance we will do better by him, by all of them. We will be better. Now, let’s get the others in here.” He got up and left Allura talking to Coran as he went to find his fellow paladins. 

_I’m proud of you Little one,_ and a surge affection came rushing towards him, he was wondering when they were able to start communicating over distances. _You are doing something, like the Yellow and Green Paladins. We will find my sister and her own._ He found his fellow paladins in the common areas and asked them to go to the kitchens to join the others. 

When he returned to the kitchen with them in tow, Allura had calmed down and Coran was pottering with another mug of the tea. He sat down and directed his gaze towards them when they joined him at the table, Allura and Coran following soon afterwards. You can do it again. Black’s encouragement drifted into his mind and he decided this was getting sorted tonight. 

“Lance’s disappearance has affected us all and we do not know whether he is still captive or has escaped. The lions still can’t feel Blue and all they know is she’s safe, but that could mean anything. We have no leads and we are struggling with our battles now, I think its best that we find safe space or on a Voltron Alliance planet and devote our efforts to finding him. Dead or alive, we have failed him and he deserves that much at least from us.” 

There were nods from around the table from everyone but Keith, who yelled in his frustration.

“Why do we need to do that? We’re doing fine, we’re still getting shit done aren’t we? Of course find Blue but it’s Lance, he’s probably dead already and there’s nothing to find. Im being realistic as we still have a duty to the universe.”

The tension in the room was palpable as Hunk was glaring holes into the table trying to contain his own anger, Pidge was aghast and staring at him with incredulity etched into every line of their face. Allura looked conflicted and Coran’s face was red, barely managed rage pulsing just beneath the surface, and Shiro? He was just disgusted and horrified, he had been right, Keith did seem happier and this showed how little he cared for them. Before Black teleported him to space, they had been getting better, the bickering had changed from heated annoyance to something friendlier, and Lance was proving that he could work with Keith and that he cared about him. What had happened in the time he had been gone?

“Keith, that was out of line. He is our teammate and our friend. Of course we are going to hope to find him, and our battles? You’re the only one benefitting, going of as you see fit leaving us to improvise around you. Lance no longer has our backs and we are tired of fighting and we want our friend back.”

“He was never my friend,” Keith snapped back. 

“Keith, a word please.” Shiro stood up and saw the horror in Keith’s face, but before Keith could stand and follow, Kolivan burst in with a Galra feed on the hand-held screen. “There’s a bounty on Lance and its from Lotor, he’s wanted alive.”

The words “he’s alive” fell on Keith’s ears and then he felt all his rage dissipate. The team hadn’t given up on him and their hope hadn’t been blind. They had believed in Lance and Keith had just written him off. It still didn’t change the fact that Keith barely tolerated him, Lance had always been fighting him on every decision while trying to rile him up. He then had the audacity to try to talk to him when his efforts to annoy Keith failed. 

Keith felt conflicted as the rest of the team surged into action, making plans; how to find Lotor’s ship, how to find a signal from Lance or Blue, where they might go if they needed an escape. They were even planning on asking round planets in the Voltron Alliance if they had been contacted by him. But Keith couldn’t bring himself to care, he had been happy when Lance had finally given up and he had been enjoying the quiet, even if it did remind him of the times he spent on earth alone. He had managed then and he would manage now. 

He caught Shiro’s gaze and didn’t miss the words he said.

“Don’t think this is over, I still want to talk to you.” It was the second time that he had heard that tone, it wasn’t the disappointed dad voice, it was the one reserved for when he had royally fucked up. Somewhere deep inside of him, the seeds of guilt were sown.

 

On Crona Lance had been back on the surface that evening, talking to the refugees and telling stories once again. It wasn’t anything special, but it gave them something to listen to and to forget the universe they currently lived in. He then listened to their stories that came from their planets and their cultures. He listened to the light hearted debates about which was the better intergalactic singer and it reminded him of his family and he didn’t feel homesick for once. He had found one out in space and though it consisted of aliens, he was happy for the first time in space.

When he and Blue had swam back to their quarters, he stayed in there. The clothes he had been given had been drying in Blue and mercifully hid most of what he wanted to hide, more for himself than anyone else. He still couldn’t bear to look at himself in the mirror, though his visits to the psychologist was helping with the PTSD, he still had flash backs, nightmares and panic attacks but he was learning to cope with them and he found they started to become less frequent as he opened up to the doctor and started to discuss what he could remember. He was accepting what had happened and was determined to carry on living for himself rather than anyone else though, living just to spite Lotor seemed like an amusing prospect. He had already promised himself to make his life hell, starting with the biggest fuck you in history. He would help free the universe and live for himself and if he managed to piss off the purple bastard in any other way then it was a bonus fuck you. 

He took out the chip Plutox had given him and sent a message.

_Hope you are well, and thank you for fighting for me, Luxia told me that you did._ About two vargas later, a message came back.

**I have faith in you and I know what you could do for the universe as Lance. Not a paladin of Voltron. Its about time someone else other than yourself fought for you. And I am, but it sucks being on this ship. There’s no joy anywhere.**

_I bet, living with a giant baby would do that. Does he have a massive bottle for all of his water? Just imagine how baby Lotor actually was._ Lance chuckled to himself, he would have been the biggest nuisance or he thought darkly, he was shunned and ignored and had a deeply unhappy childhood. He shuddered at that though but having a tragic backstory didn’t excuse murder. 

**I can imagine that, though he would have nothing on my two children, they are the fussiest eaters in the known universe. They would put Lotor to shame. It’s always “Daaaaaad, I don’t like this” or “It wasn’t my fault gravity is a thing Papa.” Then there’s the classic “Papa said I didn’t have to eat.” Despite me sitting right next to them, they’ll try to get away with anything.**

_That sounds like my younger siblings, they’re triplets and I could swear if they were out here they would have found a way to annoy Lotor into surrender just by talking to them. Its question everything in the universe, play with me pull pranks on the family. Though I wouldn’t change them for all the world. Tell me about your family, they sound lovely._

**There’s me and my husband, I’m a full blooded Galra but I was left at birth for some reason or another, not that I care anymore. My husband, Fluro, is only half Galra. I rescued him on a mission and we never left each other since, we found our kids as they were left to die because they weren’t perfect or whole. Maxie, the older of the two, is paralysed from the waist down after she was attacked by the Rebels. Geoghegan was born without a leg, they were both left to die and we couldn’t let that happen when they had so much life left to live. All three are the reason I can keep on fighting and staying alive.**

_They sound lovely, I wish I could meet them, I’m sure the triplets would love you. Anything that looks vaguely adorable and they would be all over it, baby ducks, baby cats, baby crocodiles even. If they saw you with your furry ears and they would be in love and adopt you as their weird uncle from space._

**That would be interesting to say the least. Are all humans like this? If so, should the universe be worried Lance?**

_Most of us are, there are exceptions and some pretty despicable humans and we only just got round to restoring our world after nearly damaging it to the point of our extinction but we realised and worked together._

Lance was finding talking to Plutox very easy and it was nice to hear about him and his family. Plutox had also fought for him and despite not knowing him for long, he was fast becoming good friends with them. Another one of Lance’s many talents or issues, he could see the best in most people and he was open to those he considered friends. Plutox certainly was one. 

**Huh, at least your species are trying to correct your mistakes. Please tell me more about this planet.**

Lance was more than happy to oblige, answering any questions and laughing when Plutox was confused about aspects of human life. Like how they domesticated predators and he compared Earth to a death planet. “No wonder you survived Lotor if this is what you do for fun” in regards to people actively seeking out things that could kill them. They talked till Plutox had to return to duty and to collect intel on Lotors plans for the Alliance and bid him good luck. Lance went to sleep that night and for the first time in weeks, his dreams were good.

Some where a few galaxies across, a Galra with another reason to survive smiled to himself and vowed that he and his husband had another member added toD their family. He went off to start collecting the intel needed to bring an end to the empire once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SWEAR I LIKE KEITH AND ALL WILL BE EXPLAINED SOON WITH HIM I PROMISE - ITS JUST TAKING HIM A WHILE TO REALISE STUFF!!!
> 
> Also i need happiness in this fic at some point so have Lance being included and having friendships galore with positive interactions!!!!!!
> 
> im also procrastinating packing again. why am i like this???!!!


	6. There's A Fork In The Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance finds himself in a spot of bother and things take a turn for the worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Injuries are mentions but theyre not described in detail - just a mention of what they are. Lance also has a nightmare but nothing explicit. 
> 
> otherwise enjoy!!!!
> 
> Pronounciation for the Gaelic (Scottish Gaelic not irish theres a difference!!! It was going to be my second language then i moved and learnt french instead... but i can still speak it :D )
> 
> Cu-Sith : Coo- See-th
> 
> Ceilidh: Kay-lee
> 
> EDIT: THIS NOW HAS ART TOO!!!! [This piece](http://sillinae.tumblr.com/post/162670205413/commission-of-a-scene-from-a-fic-for) by [sillinae on tumblr!!](http://sillinae.tumblr.com) Go give it all the love it deserves, they're a lovely person and deserves all the credit for this piece because it is BEAUTIFUL!!!!

_He was at his grandparents’ croft in the highlands in the height of summer. Contrary to popular belief there was a lot of sun in Scotland, but there was the rain in which the country was also famous for. It was his last summer before going to Galaxy Garrison and it was his 18th birthday. He had already celebrated with his Cuban family in his Abeula’s beach house a few days before but they came out here for the actual day, switching between grandparents every year. It was his 18th and it had been a hot day with temperatures in the thirties, but then the rain came from the North Sea and the static in the ice particles and the clash of the different air temperatures caused a thunderstorm._

_The sky was a dark grey purple and every time a fork of lightning flashed it lit up the surrounding mountains, illuminating them in a spectral glow. The thunder was loud and trapped in the mountain valleys and every explosion between the battling temperatures caused the ground to vibrate and reverberate around the mountainside. Lance never felt so alive as he felt the sound and life of the thunder run through him. Despite being soaked through he was content to sit on the rock two hundred metres from the croft’s stone walls. He looked out into the mountain side and sighed in contentment, it was the perfect weather for his grandfather’s stories, the kelpies who came to drag him to his death then eat him or the Cu-Sith who would also eat him…_

_The thunderstorm lasted for hours and Lance never left his rock, eventually his grandfather came to get him as he was at real risk of hypothermia and wasn’t surprised to find that his body temperature had lowered dangerously close to developing it. As he walked back to the croft, his grandfather spoke to him_

_“As long as you can find a good thunderstorm you can find a way home. You may not find a way physically, but it will always bring a bit of home to you.”_

_Lance nodded and dried himself off before getting into his kilt and formal dress for his Ceilidh, the thunderstorm still raged and was surprised to see his Cuban family at the hall. Lance laughed and cried as his entire family was there form both of his heritages and he couldn’t have asked for more. He danced all night as the thunder added to the fiddles and he never felt more at home than he did in a hall full of Scottish folk songs which transitioned into traditional Cuban music as the night wore on. It was easily the best day of his life, but he never forgot his grandfather’s words of wisdom especially when he was flung into space, just days after his 19th birthday - the first without his family - and cried himself to sleep that first night, hoping to find that bit of home again._

 

The next day, Keith knew he’d be in deep shit. He had spent all night in the training room and worked himself into exhaustion, falling asleep up against one of the walls. He had woken to Shiro standing over him, his arms crossed and he knew he wouldn’t be getting away from this talk. He ate is food in silence and when done, followed Shiro to the common area. 

“You may not have the social experience that the rest of us have, but that is no excuse for your behaviour. Lance is just as important as you are as we all are in this team,” Shiro was using his dad voice, something that usually never failed to bring Keith into line, he hated disappointing Shiro but he was done with the shit that was being directed his way.

“What has he been doing then? Cos he certainly has never helped me.”

“How about covering all of us and having our backs? Helping to control the battle when you go out on your own? Making sure none of us fall apart in space. Trying to talk to you despite every time you told him to fuck off.”

“So you’re saying this is all my fault? Shiro, all he ever did was rile me up and you all blame me,” he spat back, he was done with Lance’s shit and he wasn’t even here. “No we are all at fault here, but it has raised issues, you keep running off on your own to do something and it leaves us in your wake in a weaker position. We no longer have Lance picking off pods for us.”

“Fine, I’ll do better but we cant just sit around looking for him, there are planets that still need us and for once I feel like I’ve found something I can belong to. Ever thought about that? You know what Shiro? I’m done with this Lance bullshit, I’ll be helping with missions but don’t expect me to help find Lance.”

Keith stood up and walked out, he was sick and tired of Lance being the focus over the last few weeks, he wouldn’t lie and say he didn’t enjoy the attention people had payed to him or the fact that people actually cared for him. Then it changed when Shiro disappeared, he knew he wasn’t the best leader but it didn’t mean he didn’t try and he thought he did fairly well balancing the efforts to look for Shiro while maintaining the duty to the universe that they had been given. He was glad when Shiro was found and he could go back to being just the Red Paladin, it was a weight off of his shoulders and one he was glad to shed. 

He rounded a corner to make his way to the training deck and found Hunk in his way, and he wasn’t budging. 

“How could you Keith? After all Lance tried to do for you?” Keith wasn’t surprised, Hunk would always take Lance’s side. 

“If you mean trying to piss the daylights out of me then he succeeded, I’m vaguely glad he’s gone, I can finally train in peace.”

“Dude, that’s harsh. He only tried to help you. He liked you, as in major crushing on you and has been since the first time he saw you in the Garrison. I can’t understand how he did when you kept brushing him off, then you started to listen to him and it made him so happy. Then you became leader and you started to toss him aside when all he wanted to do was help. He then lost those feelings for you, I may not have been there for him when that happened but looking back he was silently screaming. 

“Yet for some reason he still had your back, he wouldn’t give up on a teammate Keith. He didn’t give up on you when you gave up on him. To be fair I’m not even surprised, he has always been that kind of person.”

“Are you done now? Cos I still don’t care – we have a duty to the universe and the Galra aren’t sitting around. We all have our sob stories and Lance’s crush isn’t my fault. He’s the one who let himself be captured and frankly I don’t give a shit. You’re always sticking up for him and never me.”

“You know what Keith? The fact that I have been there for you means nothing to you, we accepted you as you and never asked you to be anything different and we tried to give you the space to figure yourself out as a person and a leader. No wonder its taking us so long to find Lance when its obvious you have never cared about him, despite him actually trying to be nicer to you or even caring about you.”

Hunk’s words cut deep into Keith as he recognised it as the truth, Lance had tried to be kind and they were on their way to being friends. He had never been very social and he had no reason to be, but he still couldn’t bring himself to care. Lance’s plight wasn’t anything new. He was always too over dramatic and making mountains out of mole hills and was socially everything Keith wanted to be but wasn’t. He wanted to know more about his family or what had caused his father’s death or who his mother was. He wanted answer and knew he wasn’t going to get any. He had accepted his lot in life and Lance should have to. Hunk turned away and left Keith in the corridor, even more determined to fulfil his duty to the universe.

 

On Crona, the doctors had given Lance a clean bill of physical health and his therapist with them had given him a communicator to talk to them so that he could continue getting the help he needed. He was leaving Crona that evening to go to one of the Alliance headquarters where they would explain to him what he would be doing. Lance was proud of himself though, he was starting to wear his thermal layers again without having panic attacks. Although he still couldn’t bear too look in the mirror he had to admit that the lightning burns made him look like a walking storm and therefore badass as fuck. 

He spent his last day on Crona up on the surface, helping with the needs of the refugees and mediating on some quarrels which were all sorted with his help. He sent messages down to the palace if they needed supplies and he learnt about their cultures, listening intently as he was told about their customs and lives. 

The feast that was thrown in his honour was immense, and so many people turned up, not just the merpeople but also the refugees who could survive with the air bubbles underwater. There was chatter and the merpeople were talking to their neighbours on the surface and he could have sworn two of them were coming up with plans to make communications more efficient. He had a blast; talking with Plaxum, Blumfump and Swirn, being asked to dance by Luxia and many of those who lived on the surface. He enjoyed the music and he felt like he was back on Earth surrounded by people who appreciated him as a human being despite his faults. He remembered fondly the parties his mother’s family had back in Cuba and the large families, he remembered the Ceilidhs when his Scottish grandparents had their anniversaries and birthdays. He even tried to teach them some of the dances from both of his families, though underwater some were more successful than others. 

Soon the time came for him to leave and he bid farewell to everyone, he would miss them as they had helped him back up and took care of him and he was glad he wasn’t sent to a healing pod. They were awful and he always felt slightly worse after being in one. Back home when he was ill it meant for one day, you had control of the tv and it meant a lot of teasing from Anna and the triplets. Out in space it meant being shoved into a miracle healing machine with little to no love. He hated every time he got injured and though it was to save the people he cared about it didn’t make the pain fully go away. 

The last people he said good bye to were Luxia, Plaxum, Swirn and Blumfump, pulling them in to a tight hug.

“Thank you, so much, I’m gonna miss you guys.”

“We’ll miss you too Lance, we hope you can visit again,” Luxia smiled warmly and Plaxum engulfed Lance in another hug. He swam into Blue, dried off and swam up to the surface of the ice and flew up into space. He gave once last look to Crona and flew off into the dark with the co-ordinates of Versi up on once of Blue’s screens and on another a holograph of Luxia, Pluxum, Swirn and Blumfump all together from the feast earlier on. 

Space was huge and it was expected for him to take a few quintents to get to Versi, it was five galaxies over and lightyears away. Though Blue was fast compared to human technology, it would be a while before he got there. 

It took the total distance of exactly one lightyear before Lance encountered trouble. It wasn’t like he actively sought it out, but trouble had a habit of finding him. He had been hit by an EMP pulse which had disabled Blue’s electronics, she was still with him mentally but was unable to move or do anything and he was floating in space with no hope of saving. There was no one for lightyears and his comms were down even if they were now tuned into the Alliance frequencies and hiding from the Castle systems. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t save himself, he remembered that his systems would come back online in a varga so he’d have to wait it out and hope he didn’t need to hide in Blues mouth to shoot at whatever came near him. 

Lance relaxed into his bond with Blue to see space with her eyes, and waited. Always alert to anything that came close. After almost the varga had passed, he saw movement on his starboard side. It looked like something was moving towards him and leapt into action, bayard in hand and clambered into Blue’s mouth, taking up a position where he could have the most access to cut off enemies. If it was Galra or Lotor he was royally fucked otherwise he could make do and hope for the best. Unfortunately, the universe still had it out for Lance as he felt Blue shoved on the port side and went into an asteroid that was floating comply in space and it shattered on impact. Lance was thrown out of Blues mouth and came face to face with their assailant. 

A face ten times Lance’s height was less than a few metres from his body, their body was broad and large with human like torso and arms but where the merpeople of Crona had more mammalian tail, this could have a tail compared to an eel. Their entire body was jet black and white markings adorned their face and torso while the edges where muscle met fin was lined white. It was a truly terrifying sight and Lance knew he was fucked. The length of the creature was bigger than Lotor’s command ship, and he was sure this creature had never been recorded as no one ever survived an encounter. 

The creature smiled to reveal long fangs where teeth should have been and Lance was sure he wouldn’t make it to Versi and that he would die trying to do what was right. 

“I haven’t seen a being like you,” they said, their voice raspy and more like a hiss with words. “You’re not nearly enough for a snack, but I am hungry.”

“Hi Hungry, I’m Lance.” Lance had no idea why that came out of his mouth, maybe it was a response knowing he faced certain doom but it made the creature stop in its motions to grasp him. The hand was as close and the face was and he could see the details in them.

“You can speak? Well this got more interesting, beg for me.”

“I’d rather not, considering I have a universe to save and all.”

“That is of no consequence to me, you flew into my territory and now you are mine.” He then felt the hand clasp round him and saw the other pick up Blue, holding her as a mother cat would with a kitten, with no means of escape or attack. He had no idea how the creature moved through the vacuum of space or even breathed and soon found himself on a dead planet, where its lava tubes has cooled to form a set of tunnels in which the creature must have laid in wait for people like him to wander by. 

Deep in the caves, he was placed down and the creature lay on their front arms crossed and their head on their arms, looking at Lance with interest, given that Lance hadn’t shut up on the way over as he had a mental conversation with Blue. 

“I was right, I haven’t seen you before,” pointing at Lance, “But I’ve heard stories about you,” turning their attention onto Blue. “What is a paladin of Voltron doing this far into space alone?”

“Trying to get to Versi, and please, if I am going to die, may I at least know your name?”

The creature looked confused, “Why would you?” 

“Common curtesy I guess, you’re still a being right? And we are having a conversation its just polite and I bet you don’t get many visitors out here either.” The creature looked heart broken, he must have accidentally hit a raw nerve, “Im sorry, I didn’t mean to bring anything back up. Look I’ll tell you a story.”

He told them of the night of his 18th birthday and how the feeling of the sound waves from the thunder made shivers run down his spine and the sight of the illuminated mountains and how the water felt in temperature. He talked about how every member of his large family had come to a Ceilidh and how it was the best night he had ever had. If he was going to die, he wanted to at least let that out and know that he might be an afterthought and live on in someone’s memory. 

When he finished speaking, the creature spoke. “My name is Sholta.” They moved closer to Lance, sorrow still danced in their eyes but there was something akin to curiosity and compassion. “I am one of the last of my kind and I lost my partner eons before you came into the universe. No one even bothered to talk to me and assumed that I would kill them, their fear made them reckless and flew into the Dead Space I control. My natural method for propulsion disables ships and I have been so alone.”

Lance felt his heart break for Sholta as they told him their woes, and he knew what the loneliness felt like. Using his jet pack he flew up to Sholta’s face and began to strok part of their face, offering what physical comfort he could. Knowing that in his darkest days he just wanted someone to care and let him know it would be ok eventually. He was sure that Sholta was melting into his touch too, he thought he had been touch starved so how must they have felt? Small as he was compared to them, he knew how much being noticed and not rejected meant to them both.

Sholta went on to explain their life in space, using electric pulses to move through space from specialised cells in their tail, the fact that they could keep trace elements in their lungs for extended periods of time and that they controlled Dead Space, areas where everything shuts down and quintessence is trapped. That meant that the souls of beings were trapped and they wrought revenge on whatever entered. Sholta’s species were the only ones able to move in those spaces and keep them under control, and able to manipulate them too. Dead spaces were rare and as a result, so were the Nagari. 

Lance apologised to Sholta as he started to yawn and explained that humans needed a certain amount of sleep to function, and flew into blue and snuggled into his duvet fort. He felt Blue being picked up but didn’t care and he knew that Blue was been cared for and that Sholta was working on her to ensure that she wouldn’t be affected by their electrical pulses. As he fell asleep he could have sworn he heard a song being sung outside, something old and in a forgotten tongue that could have been as old as the universe. 

 

The castle had been in a weird loop, there was tension between the team with Allura agreeing with Keith that that universe still needed protecting and that since Lance was alive, he could find them and she wold work on finding the signal when they weren’t facing the Galra. Keith was still being a dick in Pidge’s opinion, they hadn’t been any better in their dismissal of Lance but at least they had the grace to admit that they were wrong. Pidge was missing Lance more and more with very passing day and was considering talking to the Olkari to see if they could help design something. 

They knew that both Shiro and Hunk had tried to talk to Keith yesterday but to no avail, they weren’t going to try – it wasn’t worth the effort. Pidge had known Keith briefly through Matt and knew that he wouldn’t be persuaded. He would eventually figure it out but it meant that everyone was stressed. Shiro, Hunk and themselves didn’t agree with Allura’s methods or Keith’s attitude and Coran was caught in the middle, doing his best to placate them all. He missed Lance as he was to the closest to him but he still had a duty to Allura dumped upon him by Alfor. 

While they showed up for the first mission, it became clear that it was a two person job, then another two followed that day, leaving them exhausted by the end of it. it was like Allura was deliberately choosing multiple missions to prevent spending time looking for Lance. When the next mission came along, it was another small one and as soon as they saw it they went back into the castle and back into their lab, listening to cosmic chatter to see if there was any mention of a blue lion. Not long after, Hunk joined them and left Shiro to keep an eye on Keith.

During dinner, they endured Allura’s wrath as she yelled at them, they were meant to be a team and that meant not abandoning each other in the middle of a fight. Pidge finally found the end of their tether and snapped. They had been out here for a year now and they were no closer to taking down the Empire, they had had enough. No more fighting no more, duty to the universe, juts find Lance and retire to Olkarion and help design tech. 

“No Allura, that was a two man job and we weren’t needed. Lance may not mean that much to you but you compromised with us, and so far we have yet to see any results on your end.” They stormed off to find their father or brother and hope that they would be able to help. When they found the two in the common area, they saw the state Pidge was in and instincts kicked in, hugging them tight as they vented their frustrations about how slow they were going finding Lance. Their family might not have known Lance as they did but they promised to help in the time when Pidge was on missions, if it meant that much to Pidge, then they were more than happy to help. Pidge found Allura and apologised for snapping but they wouldn’t apologise about caring for their friend.

The next day wasn’t any better, it was clear that a message had been sent to wherever they now took commands from, as the next battle was a full battle fleet, it needed everyone’s attention as there was so much going on. They must have known they were down a lion and with Allura’s tactics form yesterday showing how much they wanted a fight, the Galra had taken the gauntlet from the floor. The team had a plan, Pidge was to use the cloaking device to then use their vine lasers at important parts of the ships while Keith provided a distraction, with Hunk and Shiro covering both the ship and Pidge.

It had all been going to plan too, Pidge had taken down three of the seven ships and was fast approaching their fourth, then Keith could be heard over the comms systems. 

“There’s an opening and I’m taking it,” but Shrio and a Hunk weren’t Lance, who would have been able to cover Keith and Pidge without missing a heartbeat. Keith wasn’t Lance either and forced Pidge into manoeuvring into open space and become a sitting duck. Their cloaking device timed out and they took the full brunt of enemy fire, they were ripped from the seat and sent tumbling round the cockpit and felt something dislocate and another break, there were sirens and red lights flashing and they were glad when they fell into unconsciousness and they didn’t feel the second degree burns as the metal in Green heat up as they were caught in the crossfire of Red’s superheated gas. 

“Pidge!” Yelled Shiro as he saw the scene unfurl in slow motion. Green became visible and all the Galra’s attention had turned on them, and in his haste to end the fight, Keith had misjudged his aim and the blast of superheated gas caught part of the nearest Galra ship and Green took most of the attack. Keith was no sharp shooter that’s for sure. Suddenly the Galra were retreating and Keith went after them and tore the slowest to pieces. Hunk and Shiro however grabbed Green and took the two to the communal hangers and entered green to find Pidge unconscious over their control panel. Shiro heard Matt and Sam enter the hangar and rush over to Green.

“Healing Pod now, don’t move the fabric its fused to their skin,” Shiro said through gritted teeth. They managed to get Pidge into a healing pod after having to remove the fused fabric and and bandaged it as quickly as possible to reduce the loss of blood. Coran had to reset their shoulder and put a splint on their right leg as their fibula had snapped in two. He had the pod ready as they entered gently carrying the unconscious teenager who was covered in bandages and a light floaty fabric and was left to heal with Matt and Sam looking over them. 

 

Lance was back in the cell and now there was no Plutox to help him, there was just Lotor and the images of the team confirming what he had known. But it was harsher, and the pain of the knives cutting deep. He woke with a start, drenched in sweat and he had been crying in his sleep. Blue’s presence was instantly in his mind and a soothing presence as he tried to use the techniques the therapist had taught him. When he had calmed down enough he left Blue to talk to Sholta, he had to get to Versi and he did not want to be caught in the Dead Space. 

“I’m sorry for threatening to eat you, I had given up on people and their kindness after many fought on sight or ran in terror.”

“People lash out when they’re hurt, you have no issues here, you were already forgiven.” He smiled at Sholta and was surprised to see some food a telecom device that looked akin to a jazzed up walkie talkie. 

“For when ever you’re in the area, please, let me take you to the edges of my territory.” They picked up Blue and Lance climbed up their hand and into Blue, making them laugh as he did so. 

“You’re so tiny and cute.”

“Why, thank you, you are so very tall and sweet,” he said with a shit eating grin across his face and he was sure Blue was rolling her eyes at his antics. Patting his control panel he spoke to his lion, “Blue you know you’re the only girl for me” and Blue purred in satisfaction. He felt Blue being lifted and was surprised at how fast Sholta travelled in space considering they were using a natural impulse system. As they travelled, he noticed the Dead Space, it called to him to join the debris, to end it all and be at peace. It called of home but home had thunderstorms and family. He turned his head back into space and they were soon at the edge of Sholta’s territory. He clambered onto Blue and gave them a small bow, careful not to float into space. Apparently the water had been good training in how to move in zero-g but with more resistance. 

“Thank you for your help and I do hope we meet again, please contact me if you want to have a chat or anything. If any Galra come by and they’re too much for you to handle on your own, message and I’ll be there.” 

“Thank you Lance, for your kindness and your friendship, you’ve made space that little more full by being here. You need help and you call and you know I’ll be there.” Lance’s smile filled his face and he lay a hand on Sholta’s in farewell and somehow managed to clamber back into Blue who let out a roar and flew to the solar system Versi was situated. It took a few vargas to get there and then he saw the planet, it was distinctly earth like with blues and whites but also oranges and reds and lights signifying the life it held. There was a massive volcano on the west side but other than that it seemed like a paradise. Bringing up the information on Blue, he saw that there was enough oxygen in the atmosphere to not wear his helmet but was amused to find that much of the upper atmosphere was helium and that it was the climate of his final destination was the temperature of a Scottish summer and he hoped they had rain. 

Blue entered the atmosphere and he radioed into the command centre to declare his arrival and his descent was peaceful, he saw the city looming up to him, buildings of all sorts making it up, it looked like a refugee camp that had became a home for so many that there was no need to move on. As he got closer he saw markets and farms and factories. There were so many different styles of building and for the most part it looked peaceful. 

He landed outside a massive building to the edges of the city and was welcomed by the wyrm like person who introduced himself as Barra. Barra told Lance that he would have a day or two to acclimatise as he wasn’t expected for another two days. He guessed Sholta really did help with the distance, Lance was to stay with a family that had offered him boarding during his stay rather than living in head quarters situated on Versi. As he walked towards the doors he saw a little kid run up into him and grab his legs followed by a taller one with a handsome Galra running after the two kids. 

Lance looked down to the children, the girl had an exoskeleton under her skirt from the waist down and the smaller one, the boy, had a prosthetic leg that had all sorts of monsters drawn on it. He knew who this family was. He embraced Geoghegan and Maxie and smiled at Fluro who offered his hand. He gladly took it and knew this was going to be fun. 

“Let hope you have room for a giant cat from space too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
> 
> This was written with no wifi and a ten hour journey in a boiling van, enjoy my pain!!!! Also fully moved from the flat back to my family home so back to procrastinating unpacking ;) 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and Kudos and the reads, they are honestly best parts of my day :D It makes me happy knowing people actually like this - like this is just my angsty ramblings with a plot like ??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! You guys are awesome :D


	7. Things That Needed To Be Said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith Says some things that needed to be said, Lance has some ups and downs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIGHT THERE IS A FLASH BACK/ NIGHTMARE IF YOU WANT TO AVOID STOP READING AT WHY DOES YOUR BACK LOOK LIKE A TREE AND RESTART AT LANCE HADNT NOTICE 
> 
> sorry this is shorter than normal life sucks.

Pidge was meant to be in the healing pod for a week, and Keith was in turmoil, he hadn’t meant to get Pidge in the cross fire. He just wanted to end this fight and he had forgotten that they didn’t have their back up. They didn’t have their sharpshooter to help compensate and he went for it, not hearing the protests in his comms expecting Lance to cover for them. 

But Lance wasn’t there and his carelessness had cost them another member of team Voltron. He was in the deepest shit with everyone and he didn’t know how to fix it or himself. He needed Lance in his life and he only just realised how much. He was so used to people leaving that he had shut down and refused to let another person close enough that when they eventually left it wouldn’t hurt. But in doing so, he had hurt others instead. Lance, Pidge and they wouldn’t be the last either, he knew he would fuck up and he did what he did best, running and hiding. 

He had a good few hours before someone came to find him, he thought it would be Shiro or Allura coming to scold him but it was Hunk. He just sat down next to Keith not saying a word but keeping his distance. 

“You just cant wait to say I told you so. I know I’ve fucked up, and I want to make it right again, I’m so, so sorry. I’ll apologise to Pidge then stay away from everyone. I wouldn’t want me around either.”

“You made a mistake, yes you shouldn’t have gone off but you never meant to hurt Pidge and I’m sure they know that too. Are you ok though? You look like you’re minutes away from imploding.”

“Yes, no. Fuck what is ok now? We’re in space fighting a fucking war. Life may have sucked on Earth but at least I knew where I stood. I didn’t want to be leader of Voltron, I just want to be me, whoever that is.” He buried his face in his knees and expected to be left alone but instead he felt a hand on his shoulder in sympathy and understanding.

“I’m sorry too, for not asking how you were, I honestly though Shiro had your back. Despite being the leader he really doesn’t ask Lance or I anything, he barely talks to us outside of missions. It’s always Keith this or Pidge that. It probably isn’t any better for you, you can’t mess up I bet.” 

“You were right though, ive treated Lance like shit when he helped so much and I didn’t want to be hurt again when he would leave so I ran like I always do.”

“Lance wouldn’t have left you, you used to mean a lot to him and I don’t think that would change.”

“Shiro didn’t mean to leave twice but he did, my life has been one series of fuck ups each bigger than the last.”

“That’s not true, I got to meet you, you have Red and you have a new family with us. Forget the Blades, know that things may have sucked but you have people to stand by you.”

“Thanks Hunk,” and he genuinely meant it. He needed someone to say it would be ok to stop running and that even if the world fell around his feet there would be the hand at the top of a ladder helping to climb out of the hole he sank into.

“Here, this was one of my favourite videos from earth,” he said as he pulled out a tablet from Earth and found the video, smiling eagerly as he did so. He shuffled over to Keith who stated exasperatedly as giant noses danced on to the screen followed by a smaller one. Then started to tap dance. Tap dancing noses with incredibly good rhythm and a good sound. Keith started to laugh despite the inner turmoil but it was a start. 

They left the room Keith had holed himself up in and Hunk didn’t leave his side glaring at anyone who dared to say anything derogatory towards him. He had promised Hunk that he would try to contain himself and to talk to him when he needed to. It was long before Shiro cornered him however. He was walking back to his room and Shiro said his name into the corridor. He followed Shiro into a room and prepared himself for the shit storm that was to come.

“You messed up Keith, I said you were impulsive and that you did this and look what happened. Pidge is seriously injured and you put them in serious danger Keith. What the fuck were you thinking? You messed up big time.” 

“I know I fucked up Shiro! I know I am fucked up, but you left for the second time and you left me in charge, something I didn’t want. You left me with something I wasn’t prepared for and in a war. I’m still nineteen, I’m barely and adult and I barely had a childhood. The world kept on spinning and I question how I got so old, I didn’t stay at the Garrison to learn how to be the perfect solider, I was a hermit in the desert where the only thing keeping me going was a pull into a cave with drawings. Do you know how that feels? Everyone who cared had left, my mother left and dad died, You went away twice and now Lance. You didn’t ask how I felt about all this and you know I can’t articulate feelings well. I’m fucking broken.”

He pushed away Shiro’s attempt at sympathy and carried on undeterred. 

“I bet you haven’t seen Hunk recently have you? Tell me one thing about Hunk or even Lance. What do you really know about them because I can bet I know more about them than you and I have been a shit to them. You hold Pidge above all of us then I’m next on that list and that’s probably due to some obligation. You show such blatant favouritism no wonder why Lance felt like shit. 

“I’m disgusted with myself that Pidge had to get hurt for me to care, but everything Hunk and you said was right. But that’s my fault and I’m admitting that. When Pidge is out and wants to talk to me I will tell them what needs to be said until they tell me to stop or to go away. But you, you need to talk to the others. Has anybody even checked on Coran recently either? God we really are a mess. I just hope Lance is having a better time than we are if he managed to escape the Galra.” He stood up and walked out and for once went into his room. It was bare and sparsely decorated but there were a few things he had picked up. He flopped onto his bed and curled up in the duvet and pillows and let the tears finally flow. Through all the shit that he had been dealt, the bullfuckery that was his life, he had kept it all in and never allowed himself to collapse lest he lose the strength to get back up and keep going. He let out the ugly sobs that he had felt when his father was found dead in their home, obviously murdered but no explanation as to how or why. 

The silent tears that was Shiro’s first disappearance and the yells of frustration and anger at his second disappearance leaving a role he didn’t want nor was he remotely ready for. Than he cried for Lance and how much he had broken his heart. 

He hadn’t just broken his heart, he had destroyed it and any hope of friendship, he had made Lance believe he wasn’t good enough and he had scoffed at him when he needed help most. They even made a good team on battle once upon a time, covering each other’s backs and sharing friendly smiles. Then he had suddenly had to lead Voltron and he didn’t handle stress well, he was pig headed at times and he saw Lances attempts to help him as they were. Attempts to help take the pressure off him or make suggestions to make missions easier, the attempts to help him relax in a way he knew how to and he had told him to fuck off and worse till Lance had believed every word of it. He had just wanted to make the hurt he would feel be less than it could have been but instead he’d made it worse for the pair of them, he promised himself that he would do better and upon Lance’s return, show him that his care towards him wasn’t in vain.

 

Plutox wasn’t that high in the command chain in the Galran army, but he was in a position where he could gain intel and feed back to the Alliance, help protect those who needed it. It was still dangerous though, there was always the risk of being caught and he knew if he was, it wouldn’t end well for him. He had been collected information and he made sure to cover his tracks, he had been a master of going around unseen for many, many cycles. He was fine then he heard something that made his blood run cold.

“Hey Plutox, have you heard that Haggar’s been called to the ship, apparently, obsessions run in the family.”

He had heard what had happened with the Blades of Mamora and how they found that letting themselves die was preferable to Haggar, he was inclined to join them. Lotor and Haggar together would be awful, Lance might not be safe or his family though it was hard to see the difference between the two now, Lance was family. He wasn’t a kid but he was part of it. He would be more careful when covering for himself and when he could talk. He hated that he wouldn’t be able to talk as much but Haggar was paranoid after Zarkon’s demise and obsession with a particular paladin.

He sent a message to a fellow head of resistance on Versi and hoped Barra would get it soon

**Haggar on ship, will not be able to update as freely.**

He looked down at the control panel he was standing behind and adjusted the electric current in the machine so that death would be instant for the next person in it. They lasted a few vargas against the druids and Lotor was bored, a swift death was as much as he could offer. He went back to his patrolling, acting as if he was never there. 

 

Maxie and Geoghegan were in awe of Blue, a fact that didn’t evade her notice and strings of pride floated into Lance’s mind and he chuckled. Plutox was right, his children were so full of life and he wondered how Fluro managed them on his own. Fluro had been slightly more cautious of Blue, not knowing her reaction to the Galra as a race based on their involvement on the war and looked like a ghost when Blue moved closer to him to let him have access to the cockpit. Lance offered to fly them home, something the children decided they liked a lot, asking whether they could have a sentient lion each. Lance laughed though he internally hoped they wouldn’t have to and if they did it would be protecting planets from meteors that they could stop rather than see blood on their hands as they barely entered legal adulthood. 

Lance flew the family back to their house, it wasn’t big or grand but it wasn’t small or cramped. It reminded him of his home back on Earth, it was enough for his family of seven. This house was enough for the family of four. There was a main room that had a screen and books a kitchen and a small hallway, up a flight of stairs there was two reasonably sized rooms. It wasn’t American sized rooms but the ones he saw in Scotland. It was enough for him, it wasn’t luxurious but it was lived in and was a blessing compared to the numerous palaces and cells he had found himself in over the past year that were lonely and empty. Toys here were strewn all over the floor and a smell of home cooked food wafted into the hallway where he was standing. All he needed was a thunderstorm and he was home.

His dinner was simple and full of mirth, Maxie was talking animatedly about her day at the school she attended while Geoghegan was listening avidly to Lance talk about Sholta.

“Papa, can I have that on my leg?” 

“If Lance is willing to help you, Lance?” Fluro asked, and Lance accepted excitedly, then something dawned on him.

“Fluro, where do you want me to sleep?”

“I was going to sleep in the main room so you can have the bed.”

“Fluro, you don’t have to, is there room on the floor in their room? I don’t feel like being alone right now.” Lance missed spending the night with the triplets after they couldn’t sleep of his older sister comforting him after some incident, he missed being a sibling. 

“I’m sure they would like that.” Lance grinned and turned his attention to Maxie who was asking about Sholta. Soon enough he felt the tiredness in his bones take effect on him and helped put the two kids to bed, Maxie had to take of her exoskeleton and Geoghegan had to remove his leg which he then used to terrorise the occupants of the room, hopping round using it as a sword. Lance got his duvet fort from Blue and hampered down on the floor, at some point in the night Geoghegan had become a jet pack and Maxie’s hand had found its way into Lances. That night, Lance’s nightmares came back but he slept through most of them Blue there when he woke and the comfortable feeling of someone nearby helping to separate what was real and what wasn’t. 

He woke up the next morning glad he had a full nights sleep but he couldn’t escape his PTSD forever. Geoghegan was three and had no filter, it would only be a matter of time when he got curious about the scars that were strewn across his body. Geoghegan had caught him putting on a short before breakfast and stared at Lance’s back.

“Why does your back look like a tree?” he asked and Lance felt the world crash around him as he saw the light the electricity generated and the pain as it flowed just under his skin, every scar from every cut felt new and fresh and it hurt to breathe, his chest was constricted a new torture method Lotor had invented to make him break faster. He could have sworn he felt Lotors hands wander over him before he was executed after a failed attempt as flirting as a distraction and a blade coming down on his neck. He still couldn’t breathe and he thought he was dying. The voices that he had hallucinated while in the cell came back just telling him to end it, spare himself the misery and make it easier on everyone else. It really would be easier if he was dead. Just stop fighting to breathe and just fade into cosmic background radiation as his quintessence floated off into space.

Lance hadn’t noticed he collapsed on to the floor and curled up in a tight ball, scared, Geoghegan had gone to find his father scared that Lance was dying. He was three he didn’t know. Fluro told his son to go sit with Maxie while he talked to Lance, Fluro remembered his time in the cells when he was younger and he still had the flash backs and the phantom pains. He waited till Lance was lucid, sitting away from him but moving stuff away incase he hurt himself.

“Lance, this isn’t real.” He thought he heard a voice in the darkness and the flashing lights. 

“You’re having a panic attack, nothing is going to hurt you,” he so desperately wanted to believe it too, he could feel everything get brighter and stay brighter and he could see two beds and a colourful carpet. 

“Lance, you are not there, you’re on Versi, in my house. Geoghegan and Maxie are downstairs and I’m next you but I won’t touch you.” Lance still felt constricted and unable to move but he felt a little less worse. As the minutes passed he became more aware of his surroundings and he sobs became quieter. After half an hour Maxie had taken Geoghegan out into the small garden while Fluro sat with Lance, and Lance had managed to crawl over to Fluro who was running his fingers through Lances hair, his claw like nails gently scratching his scalp. Not long after Lance felt like he wasn’t dying and was breathing easier as his tears subsided and he felt drained. Fluro kept running his hand through his hair and fell into a dreamless sleep after the panic attack left him exhausted.

Lance woke up some time later under his duvet, he still felt drain but his stomach was rumbling and he decided to head down to find food. Upon entering the kitchen he found himself lost, he didn’t know what was safe for him to eat or how to use any of the utensils. Miffed, he sat down at the dining room table and became lost in his mind. He was sure Geoghegan hadn’t meant anything malicious and didn’t realise what his scars and proof of his injuries meant or how he got them. But he needed to be able to face looking into a mirror without a panic attack ensuing. He didn’t have time for that, he was in the middle of a war, he could freak out every time he looked in the mirror and saw someone completely different when it was over but he had to be ok now. 

He then decided to not see the electric burn scars as the burns they were but as a symbol for home, change their meaning and make it the Storm that brings him back home. It would take time but if he could change what the scars mean then maybe he would be happy with the person who looked back at him in his reflection.  
Soon enough, Fluro found Lance in the kitchen and sat next to him.

“I still get flash backs to when I was in the Galra cells too. I just ended up being in isolation for many cycles. For some people it gets easier and for others it stagnates or gets worse, I’m one of the lucky ones where it got better, it never truly leaves but as much as I hate the fact it helped shape me. There are some people who will deal with the shit cards and keep them playing their one good card and keep hoping for one more good card or those who go all in knowing that better things will come even if the current hand may put them back slightly. 

“You’re now family Lance, never forget that, and family will share their good cards too because that’s what they do.” He pulled Fluro into a hug glad to hear that he could be part a family again, he could be the crazy space uncle for all he cared but it meant the world to him.

 

The castle was left in safe space and a silence unlike any other was over them all, Pidge was healing fine but their injuries and subsequent stay in a healing pod had added to the waves that came in Lance's wake. A tsunami was building and the water was receding from the beach. it was only a matter of time before the wall of water came to destroy everything in its path. The Galra were still planning, still attacking and unlike his father, Lotor could look for one thing while still running an empire and Voltron only had three lions to defend and entire universe with a small collection of allies that could be counted on one human hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again sorry for the length of this - life has been kicking my ass - meeting up with friends who i havent seen in a very long time and work plus looking after both my parents, cooking and cleaning for them and then me needing time on the squash courts to physically relax. its also why the update took so long. Sorry!!!!
> 
>  Also a little peak into one of the titles for one of the futures chapters - heart of tungsten carbide - this is a turning point in the fic!!!!!
> 
> [ THE TAP DANCING NOSE'S FROM SHOSTAKOVITCH'S THE NOSE!!! A GOOD OPERA AND JUST TAP DANCING NOSES!!!!!!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YotMwwixPsw)
> 
>  
> 
> also for those who have read the Irony of It All, its not dead just i havent had time to write!!!!!! Its being written but uuughghghg life. 
> 
> Also i still cant believe you guys like and read this THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!


	8. The Water Still Recedes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lions are very Done, Keith takes a step forwards, as does Lance.
> 
> Also im using pheebs as centuries and decapheebs as millennia - it made sense somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHE this was fun to write :D
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!!!!

Six days after they were put into the pod, they fell out into their brothers arms with Hunk and the rest of the team around the Holt family, glad to see that Pidge had come out healed with no visible scars. Hunk embraced them after they parted from their family, wary round Keith but was glad to see Hunk nonetheless. He had been stress baking in the kitchens as they sat in space fending off the Galra ships that tried to get close, they kept on coming at them knowing they were two paladins down and in no position to be a real threat. They were sitting ducks. The team was in shambles, Allura was refusing to talk to Keith – as where Sam and Matt, Shiro had retreated from everyone, Hunk and Keith had spent the most time together and Coran was off trying to mediate with the Blade of Mamora and the Rebels that were called by Matt when he saw his sibling get hurt in the cross fire. The Blade accused the Rebels of war crimes against the Galra while the Rebels refused to align themselves with people that allied with the Galra even if they were resistant Galra. 

It was a mess and Hunk was glad that Pidge’s leave was only temporary as they healed. The cosmic chatter the three of the youngest paladins had been monitoring had given nothing out, only some weird background radiation waves and the normal space noise of dying stars and the emissions from engines. Hunk didn’t want to give up on Lance but he might have to, the universe was still at danger and Lotor’s forces still went and expanded the empire. Unlike Zarkon, Lotor wasn’t distracted by Voltron, they were a small force in comparison despite the amount of damage but that was only due to Zarkon’s ten thousand year old obsession. They had little chance of freeing the entire universe. 

Hunk missed his home, he missed a time when his biggest responsibility was getting his course work and revision done. When he had Lance he could deal but it was hopeless now, was this how it started for Lance or was it something else he thought to himself. He found himself stress baking once more and hoped that no one walked in on him, not wanting to have them see him like this. 

 

Meanwhile the Lions were having yet another conversation, one that was happening with increasing frequency. 

_There is no “Team Voltron”, one paladin is still missing as is one of our own. Black, we must do something._ Red was agitated, she had been trying to control her impulsive nature when it came to Keith, he was tired and scared not that he would show it. She felt it in his mind and had self-preservation and acted by years of instinct honed by sadness and loneliness. He was the only reason she wasn’t out there already looking for her sister. They were the closest out of the five lions and she missed Blue deeply. But Keith was important and he deserved her love, he may be flawed but he was trying. So very, very hard. 

_What can we do? You’ve seen their memories, they shout it down our bonds every flight, we can communicate and even Shiro is ignoring me._ Replied Black, her tone conveying her agony, She had started to get close to her paladin and now he was ignoring everyone and she knew the nightmares and flashbacks were haunting him every varga.

 _But if we do nothing more accidents will happen, like what happened to mine, I haven’t felt their presence in so long I don’t know how Blue survived it with the amount of time hers was in those damned pods._ murmured Green, the lose of communication with her paladin was affecting her more than ever, they weren't the closest but that didn't mean that her current paladin wasn't her favourite. she liked their intelligence and how she really did care so much for someone so small and young. 

_My paladin is starting to head down the paths Blue’s paladin went down too, this cannot go on for much longer. They are young for their species and even younger compared to us. We have to do something, for them if not for us._ Said Yellow, her tail flicking in agitation and left a dent in the walls, not caring who came.

_They are all children and they’re flying us, all our previous Paladins have seen war, they have seen for it and trained for it. These are children who were trained for space exploration. Their home planet was untouched by the Galra, they saw the stars and wanted to know they were not alone. My paladin does not see broken things and rubbish as useless things but makes things with them. Look at their inventions. Do not tell me they do not deserve our help!_

_Without our paladins we can do very little, we try out best and hope. We keep the hope that they lose quintent by quintent._ Black was finding out the hard way the rejection of her bonds with Shiro, none had a choice in this and were going alone with it to survive, but the fact she couldn’t do anything for her Little One was affecting her in ways that she didn’t anticipate.

 _NO_ , roared Red and on the other side of the castle, Keith heard a growl so loud he ran towards the communal hangar where all lions had been stationed. _I refuse to do nothing! Your paladin may be ignoring you right now but Green hasn’t felt hers, I fear for mine daily, they care for us the least we can do is return that courtesy. It’s what Blue does, and you wonder why she always had the strongest bonds with her paladins, Every. Single. One. All have been hers and she has been theirs. You may wonder why but I’m starting to see it. Indeed, Red was starting to see how all her paladins had been so close to her. She gave everything to them as they gave everything to everyone else and back to Blue. It was time she started to do so, and maybe, there would be more hope in the universe._

 

Lance’s week was filled with meetings, wither meeting and talking to various species or sitting in and mediating between them. He had been  
sitting in on the meetings concerning the activities on all of the resistances. He was getting tired, he knew he was helping but as much as they hurt him, he missed the people he had left behind on the castle. He missed what he had before Shiro went missing. Essentially he was in a war meeting, Barra and himself in the HQ and the rest all on holos, discussing the legitimacy of some claims to join and how effective successive organised strikes would be, if all resources were pulled. 

Plutox had been sending intel and it didn’t look good, the empire kept on expanding and Haggar was being allowed to carry on the quintessence experiments. He wished he knew how he had given some of his to Blue, it might have made him more helpful than being the person who looked for flaws in plans or was a mediator. Plutox had also delivered disturbing news, Lotor was no longer interrogating prisoners, preferring public executions of innocents and in horrific ways. He was taking over planets and any who resisted where killed. The resistance had to act, the question was how. The Lance realised. He knew his way round Lotors ship, he just hoped that taking off another head with both brains inside could mean that another wouldn’t grow back. He hoped it wasn’t like a hydra with many more princes and princesses just waiting to ascend. 

The quintent dragged on and was glad when he landed on the roof of Fluro’s house, he would be able to get to talk to Plutox, actually seeing what he looked like. Fluro had explained how there where genetic variances in the Galra based on their home planet, some were more reptilian and were descended from the nomadic tribes who lived in the arid central belt of land, the more feline and bat like people lived in the jungles and there was a more bear like people who lived in the north and south poles, but they were driven into extinction when they couldn’t evolve fast enough when Galra went through a global warming cycle. Lance mused it was like the Neanderthals, they also had accelerated evolution and here they were. 

Despite only being half galra, Fluro still had the feline ears and longish hair that he kept in a ponytail, he was also still purple but who cared, Geoghegan also had feline ear where Maxie had large bat ears that extended above her hair. Though unlike Allura, the children found Lance’s ears fun to look at and test with sneak attack hugs. He had only been there a week and he was already loving it and them. Maxie and Geoghegan looked up to him and made him laugh with their antics or Maxie talking about her school say or Geoghegans lack of filter. Fluro had become thee father figure he so desperately missed, no one could ever replace his own father but it was enough 

They were sitting round one of the screens in the main room, with Maxie on his lap, Lance saw Plutox on the screen, he did not look like he was meant to be in the military and agreed with something Plutox had said in a past conversation, that he had wanted to be an artist. He had bat like ears but other than that he bore a striking resemblance to his grandfather in his younger days, those he had seen in photos. He smiled wide and Geoghegan made to grab the screen, Fluro’s eyes were full of love and loss and Maxie was already talking about how much she loved Lance.  
From where Plutox was, he could see his family happy and safe, he was in his room and he hoped that the druids didn’t start to mess with the schedules of the guards. Despite his underlying fear, his smile couldn’t be wider and he desperately wished he had shore leave so he could go back and feel Fluro’s arms around him one more, feel his lips and know that for a single moment in time he wouldn’t be going anywhere. 

“Hey guys,” he choked out as he was laughing at Maxie’s overdramatics as she balanced on Lance and then fell, bring both of them down and Lances feeble hand signalling he was fine before he heard a thump. No wonder they got on well he thought to himself. They made it back up and Fluro responded back,

“Hey Love, we all miss you.”

“I miss you too sweetheart,” 

Lance looked at the two Galran men and saw the adoration in their eyes and expressions despite the two kids making gagging noises. It reminded him of his parents and how he wished someone would look at him. like he was their stars, moon and sun, like he was the centre of their universe. He pulled himself back together and hoped no one had seen that.

“Maxie, you still terrorising the kids at school?”

“Plutox! You’re not meant to be encouraging her!”

“Yes, right, um Maxie, no chasing people who make fun of you, actually, scratch that, make sure they kno"w whose boss and ignore what Daddy says”

"PLUTOX!” Yelled Fluro though a smile was on his face, not quite bringing himself to be annoyed with Plutox’s antics. 

Yes Papa,” Maxie replied and evil glint in her eye that suggested she was planning something.

They sat and talked till Plutox was summoned and Plutox asked if he could speak to Lance. 

“You’re a part of my family, never forget that please.” Lances heart was filled with love, 

"Thank you, Plutox, for everything. For helping me escape, for fighting for me, for giving me back my hope.” He understood why Plutox fought. He had more family to live for and he didn’t want to let the two galran children down. Despite the nightmares, he found Geoghegan clinging to his waist and Maxie holding his hand and saw the hope they carried and hoped he would do right by them.

 

When Keith arrived in the hangar he saw all the lions pacing around in their hangar, a dent in one of the walls and Red staring down any that seemed to oppose her. 

_Keith?_

Keith reeled back in shock, he had not just heard that. He couldn’t have, they were nowhere near where Shiro and Black were and certainly not Lance and Blue, but he had definitely heard someone. She then walked to him and let him inside and burst through the wall and out into space, getting some distance between them and the castle. They were both getting stir crazy in the castle and both needed the time to fly free.

“Red, can you hear me?”

_Yes, I can. We would have beat Shiro if I had allowed it, I didn’t like how you started to treat Lance as it made Blue sad, but you are trying to make it up. I may be judgemental at time but I’m not heartless._

Their conversation was cut short however as Allura could be heard through Red’s comm system 

Keith get back here now. We don’t need you running off.” Her voice was terse and sounded like every interaction with Lance, it was like she hadn’t learnt. _In your  
words Fuck Off. _ Keith grinned as Red flew further out, glad for the fact that for one of the first times in space he wasn’t confused or questioning his entire existence, sure he was stressed but he could feel his entire body relax and he and Red flew into a nebula and sat in the space dust and watched space expand. 

Red talked to him and after an hour or so he understood what the lions were thinking. He had an idea but it wasn’t the best. It was incredibly petty but it would get their point across, he was glad he could now hear Red otherwise the plan would hurt a lot. The group needed to take action and it was obvious the three of them looking at cosmic chatter was not enough anymore, he had a plan and he would see it through to the inevitable bitter end, but if it brought Lance back to them, the pain it would cause him would be worth it.

When they landed back in Red’s hangar, he laid a hand against Red’s snout and gave her a small pat before leaving and saw the force field fall around her and he knew that the rest were doing the same. He had to go tell the others the plan, but he had promised to talk to Pidge that day after they approached him.  
He made his way to their lab and knocked on the door. It opened and Pidge was facing him, their face neutral as they looked at him, they moved aside and let him in. Keith stood awkwardly in the middle of the room while Pidge stared.

“I’m so sorry Pidge, I never meant to harm you or for you to get caught up in the cross fire. I was stupid and I fucked up, it won’t happen again.” He waited to see if Pidge had anything else to say to him or what they wanted him to do, there wasn’t much else he could say without being the arse he was trying to avoid.

“I accept your apology, I am still angry and you shouldn’t have done it and I am so fucking angry. You fucking hurt me, you could have killed me and it would have been all on you. But you didn’t and im still here, it will take time but I still want to be your friend but I will have my time to be angry. Hunk was talking to me and told me about your reaction and I know you wouldn’t intentionally hurt me or anyone of us, especially after Lance. He told me you stood up to Shiro and stood up for Hunk, thank you for that.”

“Thank you Pidge, I will help in any way I can, would it also help if I said the Lions have a plan?”

Pidge’s interest piqued, “Go on.”

“We find Hunk and tell him, this involves all of us to work.”

After an hour; Hunk, Pidge and Keith entered the command room and hacked into the system where Pidge sent out the signal to the Voltron Alliance Planets and used the intercom for all team Voltron, Blade Leaders and any remaining Rebel Leaders to the War Room. It was the room Keith had first run into after he had accidentally hurt Pidge and had holograms, the communicators that Allura had given to the leaders of the planets in the Voltron Alliance were linked into the room. The three of them were forcing their plan to find Lance, and to be able to rely upon their alliance, Keith had a sinking suspicion that their current position would alienate them but if they weren’t going to help now, would they help later. 

Shiro, Allura, Coran and the leaders walked into the war room and saw Keith, Hunk and Pidge sitting at the head of a long table with a high vaulted ceiling. They were then told where to sat and then Keith stood up. 

 

“We do not have the resources, we cannot take Lotor head on, we need him accountable for his war crimes.” Said a species from the Spider Nebula Clusters.  
“But what punishment, we cannot keep him imprisoned as people would try to free him and use any means they deem fit, however, if we execute him, it will never be seen as painful enough and then it makes us as bad as they are. We need to be the force that the Galra Empire isn’t, compassionate but fair and just.” Interjected Lance, remembering his history lessons from Earth, how unfair punishment lead to another world war in the 1900’s and how colonialism had taken over most of the world, centuries before he was born, he didn’t want to see that in space. He wanted to believe people were better than that. 

We must also remember that most of the army is there under duress, there are those who do want to inflict pain but I am one of those who do not. Many Galra on Lotor’s ship oppose his methods and ideology, we must remember those people. Also, there is so much hatred to the Galra who can’t do anything, those in the camps or our women who do everything and are forced into doing so much in order to survive. We have benefited from the empire in terms of privilege but that doesn’t mean we’ve had it easy. We take out Lotor and have no replacement for the royal family’s reign and we create a power vacuum, something we said we wouldn’t do when we founded this alliance all those pheebs ago.

“We must be united against the Empire, show the universe that we are fighting back, we are winning and that the Empire will answer for the destruction of Altea and Galra, the planets that started this entire war, for all the planets that were cut down and destroyed. We must show that we are not afraid. We have Lance, a paladin of Voltron and a human, if we can harness his tenacity, his spirt and strength than we can win. All we need is imagination.” Plutox’s speech ended there but it gave Lance an idea.

“Back on my planet, we have many countries that work together, they form a world council, each regulating the other and independent bodies that regulate the entire thing. It’s not perfect but it means that we can form a greater alliance, like we do now. We have representatives from each planet, which then have councils which work with the governments – monarchy or whatever – and then we can have all the checks and regulations we need. It would be voluntary of course.”

Most of the resistance leaders were looking at him like he had suggested that Zarkon was a giant ball of fluff that wanted scratches only not universe domination. Queen Luxia was smiling at him, obviously proud of him. 

“I would be one of the first to support this idea. It has the backing of Crona and my council agrees.” She said and Lance felt a surge of happiness, that surge was only heightened when Plutox spoke out too.

“The Resistance Galra also agree with this, any chance to reconcile with the universe is greatly appreciated and we may even live to see peace.”

Lance then felt his heart drop when he saw Barra stand up and knew that it probably wouldn’t get past a vote. He had stated his idea as a motion and it had the necessary support but it had to be a majority vote. 

“We will give a quintents rest so you can discuss this with your people, the majority vote will be passed and then we plan for whatever the outcome is. Meeting is adjourned.” 

Lance smiled at Plutox and Luxia before their holos faded out he walked out of the room and was about to head to Blue, whose admiration for him was rolling off of her in waves, and was stopped by Barra. Lance had the utmost respect for him, his species were long lived and he had been around in the early stages of the alliance, he was battle scarred but had never lost hope in his faith in people and was a force to be reckoned with but he was fair and just. He had just never had a conversation outside of the rooms or diplomatic training that Lance had been enlisted in. 

“You’ve picked up protocol very well, and you speak the common language well and I’ve heard you speak to them in their own ones too. Your ideas were good in there, well done Lance, be proud of what you have done.” Barra then walked away and was flocked by people on his way to the Versi council chambers. For once, Lance actually believed he had done well and he went to Blue beaming.

_See Lance, you can do it. You’re doing so well I’m so proud. The others were morons to keep you from shining._

“Thanks Blue, you think Sholta would like some company, even if it is an over enthusiastic three-year-old?”

_They probably would, lets get home, I bet Fluro has something nice for you._

Lance hopped into Blue and took to the sky, flying the short distance back to the house. Blue was right, a delicious aroma was wafting from the kitchen and was rugby tackled by Maxie who began telling him about her day and how she had drop kicked someone who had tried to take away her exoskeleton. Fluro had tried to make something like pastelitos and Lance knew he had found a new home, it would never replace earth but it was something he could come back to and know he was accepted and safe. 

He thought he was imagining it when he heard the raindrops on the roof, he abandoned his food and rushed into the small garden with his eyes to the sky and felt the rain fall on his face. Then the thunder struck, swiftly following the massive streaks of lightning. He laughed and started to dance in the rain to some tune in his head and to Blues own enjoyment. He looked back inside and saw his family looking out to him in amusement and came back in and dried off. It turned out that the Galra really were big cats who didn’t like water. As he got changed he caught himself on the mirror and though he saw them and felt a small phantom pain, he just though that he his grandfather was right and where he could find a storm he could find family. With a storm on his back, he would never be far from home. 

Soon after he had helped clear up, he got the transmission feed on the device Sholta had given him, and a large holo filled the screen and Sholta looked down at them all in delight, Fluro looked petrified but Maxie and Geoghegan just moved forward eyes wide open in awe trying to feel Sholta, and Lance was sure that if they could cry they were. 

“This is Sholta, they helped me get to Versi. They’re sweet really.”

“He is too kind, want to hear about what I do little ones?” Of course the little terrors wanted to know and Fluro soon left them to listen to tales older than planets. It was a while before they started to fall asleep. Lance helped them out of their prosthetics and put them to bed and returned to talk to Sholta.

“War is coming, I can feel it in the Dead Space, they’re waiting for something big.”

“War has been here for so long, it’s just the big battle. We are planning to attack Lotor’s ship.”

“Then why do you look so troubled?”

“We can’t decide on what to do with him, I don’t feel like killing him is right. We are not the Empire and I just want to keep believing that people will choose to be good. I know its not the case but it makes life easier.”

“It does, doesn’t it.” They mused, it sounded like they had an idea.

“If it does come to a fight, would you please help us?”

“Yes, I would. I’ve seen the damage done by the Galra and its time to end it, and I may have a solution to your problem too.”  
Lance grinned and listened to Sholta’s plan, even Fluro rejoined and between them, they may have came up with a plan that would lead the alliance into a time of peace if they could only just end the war. 

 

Keith stood up and looked at them all. “The lions have decided that they will not be doing anything till we have a plan to rescue Lance. Hunk, Pidge and I agree with them, and we have contacted everyone in the Voltron Alliance and there will be a meeting here in 20 dobashes. The communicators we gave them give them access to the holograms here in the war room, we are asking for help.”

Silence fell over them all and then a rebel leader spoke out, “We will not be working with the Blades. We will not hinder but we will not help”, the cohort of rebels then left the room, they weren’t seen near the castle again. Shiro looked at them something like hope glinted in his eyes though it looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, Keith was sure PTSD was keeping him awake and haunting him but unsure of what to do, but he stood up and sat in the closest chair to them. Coran joined him, a small act of defiance against Allura.

Allura was beyond upset and as bad as Keith felt it was the only way. 

“How dare you!” Keith corrected himself, Allura was livid. “You have contacted them and we are the defenders of the universe. What would it be like to be seen asking for help?”

“That we expect this to go both ways, that we are only as strong as we are together. That we are trusting them to help.” Hunk replied, knowing that Keith would get angry too easily and they needed him to be calm. 

Before they could say anything else, the Blades aligned themselves with the paladins, agreeing that action was necessary, their intel in the empire was suggesting that Lotor’s blood thirstiness was affecting many innocents – Galran or otherwise - as well as those he had captured. Allura was outnumbered and sunk in her chair and was resistive to anything the others tried to say to her. It was hard to remember that she was only a few years older than themselves when she had been put into a cryopod, Keith thought to himself and was glad when the planets that had an alliance with them appeared around the table.

Not long after, Keith started to wonder if this was a good idea, so many comments were being thrown around, and they were asking for Lance. It was the Taugeers all over again when he had been missing as they only believed in a united Voltron, and a paladin down they left and said they would only help in the final fights, with a united Voltron. It wasn’t an outright leave but its wasn’t good.

Then the worst blows came. Many planets wanted Lance the person not the paladin. Their general comments were along the lines of “We have had other offers from elsewhere, ones we are more inclined to respond to. We are disappointed that you didn’t ask for help sooner, if you treat one of your own like this what are we to expect. We are leaving the alliance.” There was also the “It was Lance who convinced us, treating us like normal and not trying to garner out affection, that he earned it and for him they would be part of the alliance. Without him we do not believe in Voltron.” They lost eight planets and then the other five who were remaining for the final battle. All that was left was Arus, Shay’s Balmera and Olkari. All of which were on their way.

“Keith, what have you done,” Allura spat.

“He’s done you a favour, now you know who you trust,” Kolivan defended Keith. “He has proven what we have known for a while know you do not have as many allies as you thought. You should listen to your paladins more often. They have been doing all the work around here looking for your lost member. If a Blade was missing but alive, we would find them. 

“We want the empire struck down but we are family, something you are all only just learning.” The blades then left the room and soon after Allura stormed off after them with Coran following after her, hoping that he could help console her and try to make her see sense.

Shiro turned to the three younger paladins and in a careful voice asked, “So what do we do now?”

Plutox had been so careful in all his spy work, he had successfully closed out from the meeting but Haggar was paranoid about spies everywhere after Thace had infiltrated Zarkon’s command ship. He knew no one on Lotor’s knew of his involvement, it just seemed like he was more compassionate to his crewmates than the average person. It was Haggar who had summoned him as he was walking to the mess hall and he feared for his life. He opened a channel between his and Lance’s chip and hoped that Lance got the audio open. 

“Look what we have here, a good example of what we do to traitors,” Haggar hissed and druids restrained him and he was placed in a cell. He didn’t know how but he  
was caught and offered his apologies to Fluro as he blacked out. 

After the children had been dropped of at school in Blue, Lance had received an audio channel as he and Fluro were planning meals for the next few days and they had heard everything. He looked at Fluro, who was in tears and promised he would go get him. he knew it was only a matter of time and he knew where Lotor would be. A resistance planet had seen him in their solar system and called up Sholta. Soon Lance was in space heading to the Tesla system, determined to rescue the person who gave him back his hope.

The tides were still receding, the tsunami was only going stronger and when it hit the shore it would only be all the more devastating as people followed the receding water rather than running for the high ground. When it would finally hit, no one would go unaffected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well fuck me, life is shit but this fic is still being written. most of this was written to the wonder woman sound track and is just awesome - its such a good film!!!! I would put more but eh its only me being stupid as normal so lets not. 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos they mean a lot to me!!! Sorry if me replying annoys you.


	9. A Wave You Cant Outrun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance makes decisions, the team get somewhere. and some fluff amongst the angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have a theme going in this - all that stupid symbolism that english teachers want you to look out for so have fun guessing it!!!
> 
> Also WARNING - MILD TORUTRE INVOLVED AND PANIC ATTACKS , IF SO DONT READ THESE SECTIONS. -  
> "plutox was hauled up" to "Lance was getting closer"  
> avoiding fighitng and that - "plutox had had" to "Lance saw Plutox"  
> there is a mentioned panic attack but nothing specific. 
> 
> And enjoy!!!!!

The earthquake had struck and the water receded, the people on the beaches looked for the water and tried to follow. They found fish dying and treasures long since lost dredged up from the darkest deepest parts of the ocean. They wondered why they lost the water and they then saw the wall of water in the distance and thought nothing of it. 

 

Plutox was alone in the dark, he knew he was in deep shit, Lotor had found out that someone had been tampering with his pets and his experiments on them. Ending their pain or causing small malfunctions so that they died quickly. He had been furious and had set up another while using his Altean genes to shape shift into another species. He had looked Plutox in the face and knew who was to blame. It hadn’t taken long to find out who he was but it turned out Lotor thought long and hard about how he would break him and finally kill him.

It was starting with sleep deprivation and isolation, Plutox had no idea how long had passed and every time he fell asleep the sensors attached to him activated a high-pitched noise that filled his ears with pain, especially his and how they were developed for hearing everything in the dark nights of jungles of old. Soon they started to pray on his thoughts, a druid pulling the strings. He knew each druid’s presence as he had been guarding many interogations and each left an impression of their quintessence. This impression was old as the Blue Lion’s and stronger by far than any he had encountered. It could only be Haggar.

He saw every person he had killed or helped to. He saw himself as the monster he was and how he didn’t deserve his family or anything good in his life that he was trying so desperately to eek out. He saw Fluro alone and emaciated in the cell he had been kept in but he was too late and so full of the fond memories that they shared, their first kiss, Fluro proposing, their wedding, meeting Maxie in the middle of a fire fight and finding Geoghegan in a box on a street. All so full of life and hope and so much damn light in the curshing darkness that was the universe he had been born into. He clung to those memories and reminded himself of the feelings and that they were real and what he was seeing was not. For Fluro he would go down proud and unbroken, for Maxie and Geoghegan he would go down without saying a word or giving Lotor satisfaction so they could live in peace, for Lance he would go down with love in his heart for everyone in his small family and hope his impact on the universe would be remembered when history came to write his tale. 

Plutox knew Lotor would not physically hurt him till his execution date and he’d want every bit of pain shown throughout the empire and wouldn’t be surprised if this was being recorded to, either for Lotor’s own use or as warning. It was probably both, he had been on this ship to know that much. Plutox knew he was going to die and had accepted it, but he wouldn’t go down without a fight and he would take Haggar and Lotor down with him as he descended the gates of Hell. 

Up on the observation deck, Lotor was looking down at the guard as Haggar worked her magic on him, they couldn’t see what he was thinking but it would be enough to make him break the next day as made a spectacle of him. 

“Leave it there Haggar, I still want to enjoy tomorrow, what good will he be if he’s brain dead by then?” He laughed and left for his personal rooms, perfecting his plan for tomorrow and readying the battle fleet he had prepared to send after Voltron. Once it was destroyed or in his possession, nothing could stop him from taking over the universe and making it in his vision. Better than the father that killed his mother and neglected him for all these decapheebs. Better than the home he was left on and saved from as its quintessence was removed by Haggar. Once Haggar was no longer needed he had a special plan for her and it would be just as painful as every day of his life. 

 

On Versi, Fluro wasn’t sleeping well and his kids were at his side, trying to be brave.

“Lance will save him. I know it.” Maxie said to her father, tears welling in her eyes and hoped that it wasn’t in vain. She could still feel the bullet that had entered her spine and left her paralysed. She could still feel the hurt when her family rejected her. She still remembered the love at first sight when she saw her fathers. She loved the time spent playing and laughing with Lance and the giant cat. She didn’t want the happy memories to end. Maxie hated seeing her daddy cry unless it was from happiness. She clung to Fluro’s arm and tried to tell one of Lance’s stories. The two children fell asleep on Fluro as he too succumbed to a restless sleep. 

“Blue? Can we fly any faster girl?” Lance almost yelled, they weren’t going fast enough he wasn’t going to let Plutox go, he wasn’t going to add another name to his list of the dead. He had already added all the nameless Galra he had taken out from every single one of his fights since he was flung into space and did not want to add another Galra to his list. 

_We’re at top speed, I cannot fly faster!_ Blue’s voice was pained and she had become attached to the little funny galra who visited her many times or talked aloud to himself. He had unwittingly kept her company when all she was aware of was vague goings on but his mindless chatter, hope and loyalty kept her going knowing that she would see Lance again. 

They had gotten out of the system Versi was in and had passed another galaxy, the black emptiness of space not good for judging distance, he hoped that Sholta would be there when he was. Every minute he spent traveling was one more minute Plutox was in danger. He had given up on Altean time and urged Blue on faster and further the galaxies started to pass by and he was travelling fast. Blue was confused by it as she had no idea and then they saw Sholta by them and they grabbed Blue and travelled faster then before. 

 

Keith had been wondering round the castle as he couldn’t sleep, not they anyone on the castle got much sleep nowadays, and in his weariness he had entered the wrong room and came face to face with a cow. It was Kaltenecker, the cow Lance had somehow procured, he was wondering where it had gone to live or if it had been made into a meal they had eaten. The cow had water and food something Lance must have managed to make or buy when he was on world on some planet or market. The cow made a deep moo and Keith walked out of Lance’s room, disturbed at how bare it had become. When he had glances in he saw organised chaos but it was so bare and so devoid of Lance. He wondered to the observation deck and found Hunk staring out into the deep pitch black.

“I just found Kaltenecker in Lance’s room, how long has it lived there?” Keith asked, hoping to fill the silence as they searched the stars hoping to find Lance, as if he would magically appear and then they could find a new normal, one where he felt included and loved. 

“Probably since he found it, he begged Allura to let him keep it, it’s the closest thing he had to home, even if it was a cow.” Hunk sighed and flopped on his back, he sounded just so done with being in space. Even Keith was starting to grow tired of the endless void, the more he looked out into space the more he felt he was losing of himself, for better or for worse. 

What they called night dragged on, they sat in some form or silence and looked out. Hunk broke the silence after an hour or so. 

“He really did like you, you now? He would go on for so long about how unfair that only you could look perfect after getting in a fight, or how nice your laugh is or the way your nose scrunches up when you laugh. I’m directly quoting him too. So many nights wasted in the Garrison with him staying up mooning over you, just wishing you’d see him. 

“He only missed out on being a fighter pilot by one mark, you really were neck and neck and English is a joint first language too. Then you left and he was never praised or anything yet he still worked hard despite fooling around. He was so gutted that you didn’t remember him and made up that rivalry to try to make you see him, he had exhausted everything else back in the Garrison. Then you were noticing him and laughing with him, I heard so much about “his smile” and “how dare he be so cute”. He still flirted but he knows it’s a bit of fun, that it wont go anywhere. Then we ignored him, I can’t remember being there for him after being stuck on that mermaid planet. I should have been there.”

“I guess we’ve both been shitty friends to him, at least you can call him a friend, I don’t know where I stand. Did he really think I was cute?” 

“Yeah he did, then once in passing I mentioned you he stiffened and acted as though you no longer existed. Its was only later that I realised what it had meant.”  
Keith felt his heart go out to Lance, how lonely must have he been. He was distracted as something outside moved. He got up and trying to look closer, and just as far as he could see he saw a streak of blue. It left as quickly as it arrived, visible for no more than two seconds but he was sure he hadn’t imagined it. He turned to Hunk and hoped he wasn’t batshit crazy. 

“Did you just see that?” He asked, hoping that hunk had seen that too.

“That blue thing? Yeah,” Hunk said breathlessly, like all air had been knocked out of his lungs. 

“You think it could be him?”

“No idea but we can check the cosmic chatter, we installed a rewind button.”

The two of them ran from the deck towards Pidge’s lab and ran into them, quite literally, half way there.

“We saw something!”

“We got large spikes!” Pidge and Keith said at the same time.

“We have no time for bull fuckery lets move it,” Hunk said as he grabbed both Pidge and Keith and dragged them to the lab. Upon entering, they found Matt crouched over their radio box and connected to a space oscilloscope playing a signal over and over again. 

“We picked up a very large burst of that weird cosmic radiation thing signal, that one that no one knows. Matt can’t figure it out and nor can I, the Olkari are on their way but they worm hole in in a few hours. It was only three seconds but still its something to look into.”

Hunk was staring to put two and two together, “If you had a three second burst of signal, and we saw a streak of blue from the observation deck, albeit at a distance, they’re connected. We have to find what it is. If there is any chance that was Lance, we follow it.” 

 

Plutox was hauled up and cuffed, he was then dragged to the hall and he knew his time had come, he just hoped that his death wouldn’t be in vain. Along the way he saw the crews that maintained the ship, the engineers and chefs, the cleaners and even a few of his fellow guards, they all bowed their heads in respect. He knew he wasn’t alone in all this and that once he was gone, some one could maybe carry on in his stead. When they reached the hall he was thrust to the floor and chained in the same way Lance was, and he knew that every personal would be there and he would not give them the satisfaction of breaking. 

“We had a traitor in our midst, and this, is what we do to them. Let the fun begin.” Lotor smiled as he stood from his throne and started to beat Plutox. He wanted to make it last. 

Plutox held in the screams of pain when the first blow landed in his stomach, he held back his tears when the next blows were dealt. 

Lance was getting closer as Sholta propelled them through space, on Blue’s sensors he could pick up the ship’s signal and the frequencies of the broadcast. He opened it for a fraction and saw he was in that hall. It was in the heart of the ship and it meant that he’d have to infiltrate the ship and hope for the best, he knew there were a few vents and if he could use the time that Sholta’s emf pulses put the ships systems out of commission, it might be enough. 

Within a few minutes Sholta entered the system and started to circle the ship at a distance where the pulses would still hit but not have them seen on the deep space scanners. Sholta may not be a blip on its screen but Blue would, and he couldn’t risk anything going wrong, he had no back up and Sholta was there to ensure there was no power, they still had another role to play and it wouldn’t be wise to show a hand this early on in the long game. He could see the lights on the ship flicker off and he flew blue to the cell deck on the starboard side of the ship, he landed Blue gently down and used his jet pack to fly over to a manual air lock. It had been the first time he’d been back in his full uniform since being on the ship and he could feel his heart rate increasing as he walked through the cells, empty since the power went down and the locks opened. He would panic later, Plutox needed him and he could focus on that and not how constricted his chest felt in the armour. 

He made it to the main corridor and managed to make it half way to the hall without being seen but then glowing green eyes burst through the darkness and he was face to face with a reptilian species who looked as if a Komodo dragon had evolved to walk on two legs. 

“You came back.” She said, her tongue sensing all the smells in the air.

“My friend is in danger and I can’t let him die.”

“You mean that nice guard? He would always talk to us on maintenance duty. Here, use this shaft to gain access to the hall.” They pulled up a map on one of the nearby screens and showed Lance the way to the hall from the ventilation shafts. She had sensed that he was telling the truth and knew it could be a way off this cursed ship. 

“Get everyone you can and wait at the cells for me and Plutox, I’m taking as many as I can with me. None of you deserve to be here. Prisoners or workers I don’t care – anyone who isn’t loyal to Lotor or the Empire.”

The lizard person nodded and scurried away on all fours while Lance ran towards the vents and clambered in, and shimmied along them and made his way to the hall and he looked in horror at the scene below. Lotor was cutting down any member in the audience with a glowing whip and it looked electrified. Plutox was cuffed in the centre of the room prone to being trampled as the audience tried to escape. He steadied his breathe and took aim. 

Plutox had had one lash from the whip and the hall went black and the room was dead locked, the power had gone out. In his ears he could hear screaming and Lotor fell into a fit of rage, the whip he was using had a varied range and could extend at will and was highly electrified. He had endured the beatings and some cuts from a wicked sword the whip was next, designed to cauterize the wounds as the blow was dealt. He could see Lotor yelling in his anger and launching himself at anyone in his , though what he was saying was lost upon Plutox as his ears were ringing and there was so much screaming. 

Then he felt a blast of heat around his hands and feet as and felt the cuffs and chains come loose around his joints he looked behind and saw in a vent twenty metres above the head of the tallest person he saw a flash of blue light as Lotor screamed in pain as his whip deactivated and fell to the floor. He moved to get up and in the chaos was unseen and move closer to the walls. Then more laser fire went into the crowds and caused more chaos as a figure from the vent jumped down onto the ground using a jet pack to slow his descent safely. When they had landed they sent well aimed shots into Lotors leg and at Haggar who had spotted them in the confusion. Both sustained injuries to their limbs, shot to injure not to kill. He then saw the figure in full and recognised the armour. It was Lance. The idiot had come to rescue him. His heart lept at that but it also turned his blood cold. The pain Lance was putting himself through. So he ran towards him.

Lance saw Plutox just in time before he pulled the trigger on the figure running towards him, in all the confusion he had lost sight of Plutox. He was glad that it was him but there was no time for celebration as he saw a face emerge from a wall and beckoned him to them. When they were behind the wall and a safe distance away.

“Where are we?” Lance pondered as he looked around, it was like he was walking through the walls quite literally. There were struts and beams everywhere and the metal skin of the ship was bare and covering everything on his left. 

“The staff passages. Any one not galra is to use these, they’re not part of the main ship however, they’re not even on the plans. None of the Galra know these exist. We are here to serve the empire not be seen after all.” Their guide said bitterly and took them down some more winding passages. 

“So where are you taking us?”

“Tangar said to help you and avoid being caught, the power is still down and she has managed to get most the staff and prisoners in the cell blocks. We must hurry.” The broke out into a sort of run as Lance was supporting Plutox who was on the brink of collapsing. 

“Blue we’re gonna need you girl.”

 _Anything you need dear one._

“Come to the air lock now, we have guests.”

Then let them come, barrier raises around the ship and access point. 

He came to the air lock after exiting at a point in the cell walls and saw the Lizard person, presumably Tangar, he opened the air lock and let the air escape into the barrier and made his way into Blue, motioning for them to follow him. 

It was a close fit but the cockpit had him and Plutox and the back areas were full, he felt the barrier go down as he sank into the bond he and Blue had so that he could concentrate on getting to Sholta and stave off the inevitable shit storm he had been suppressing. He felt panic descend upon his mind and body and he pulled out and allowed Blue to fly them all to Sholta as he cried silently and shook and rode out all the panic that had been bubbling up inside him. He removed his armour and sat on the chair. He felt Sholta pick them up and after a few vargas they were back in their home system.

His panic attack had subsided during the journey and he had checked on all on board and was glad that Plutox only had superficial injuries and fell asleep soon after checking up on him. the flight back into Versi was smooth as he radioed in to the HQ that it was a success and he had guests with him. 

He left Plutox asleep in Blue as he escorted the people off of Blue and talked with Tangar as they approached Barra who had come out to welcome them.  
“  
Barra this is Tangar, she helped me on the galra ship in recovering Plutox, most of them want to help. They were on Lotors ship, if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere to be.” He couldn’t give a damn about protocol at that point, he and Plutox had somewhere else to be. He flew Blue into her normal spot on the garden and she then climbed on top of the roof and seemed to fall asleep. Even giant sentient cats needed a rest too. 

Upon their arrival, Fluro, Maxie and Geoghegan rushed outside and they all collapsed into a hug and Lance decided to take the two children inside, sensing that the two lovers would want some some privacy after not seeing each other in so long. He took them out into the town centre and bought them food and regaled his tale about rescuing their papa.

Plutox thought he was still asleep when he saw his family run towards him but realised he was awake and alive as he felt them against him as they hugged him, as much he wanted to see his children he was glad when Lance took them for food, he wanted time with his husband. He was fully crying, he believed he would never have this again and here he was, Fluro’s arms were around him and their foreheads were touching. He was here, he wasn’t on the ship dreaming this, he was here and so was Fluro. they sat in the yard with their arms around each other softly crying into their hug. Tears of joy fell mixed with relief, trying to wash away the fears that plagued them both, that they would never be able to say good bye or never see each other once more. They sat there breathing in each other reminding themselves that he had survived and it was real.

They soon moved inside as the suns started to set and Fluro helped him out of the tattered clothes he was still wearing and helped to wash him when he couldn't reach places or if an injury was aggravated. With every injury, bruise and bandage Fluro found, a feather light kiss was placed on them as they were revealed. The largest was where the whip had landed on his arm but that was the worst, nothing he couldn’t recover from. He looked deep into Fluro’s eyes and saw everything he had missed while being in space. The love and adoration and all he wanted to so was chase away the concern and lingering fear. He leaned up and pressed a kiss to Fluro’s forehead, trying to remind him he was here and he wasn’t going anywhere. 

“I thought I lost you, lost you and I’d never see you again.” Tears were welling in Fluro’s eyes again and he reached up to brush them away. 

“I’m here Darling, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere again. Darling, shhhh, I’m here sweetheart.” He embraced Fluro and started to stroke his hair and scratch behind his ears, trying to make them perk up and not drooped in a way that only looked good on him when he was pouting. He wanted his husband to know he was never going away again, he would help the resistances from here and he wanted to stay where ever his family was. 

He gently guided them from their bathroom to their bed where they lay in each other’s embrace, placing small kisses on each other, soon Fluro rolled onto Plutox and soft lips met his and it was like the universe had melted around them and all that mattered was the weight on him, the kisses they were sharing and the undying love between them. They stayed like that for half a varga more when they heard the door close and then their kids enter the room. They were over joyed at his return and even more so when he said he would not be leaving the planet for a very long time. He listened to their stories and told them his own and embraced them as much as he could. He knew Lance was giving them space and was grateful but he wished he was here, he had done so much for them all and he was family. 

Up in Blue on the roof, Lance fell asleep in her after sharing memories of their own families, Blue and the Lions and Lance with all of his. If he survived that he could  
survive again and he did it all without killing another person. It could be done and he would ensure that as few lives were lost as possible.

 

The Olkari took more time than expected and Pidge was agitated and when Rynar greeted them they immediately explained what the three of them had encountered. Keith stepped back and watched them discuss ideas, he found Shiro talking with the Arusians and requested his presence. They walked back to the labs and Shiro found his voice again.

“Keith, I’m so sorry I gave you a mantle you felt you weren’t ready for nor did you want, I messed up there. And I’m sorry for being absent too. I need help with all this, with me.” Keith just looked up to the man he considered a brother and gave him a hug. 

“Shiro, you’re not alone in this remember? We can find you help, and I will be there for you too. We all will.” Shiro smiled for the first time in a long time and Keith felt a bit more optimistic for the team. 

"But what use am I? I can barely hold myself together? What about the team? You all deserve someone more stable than I am."

"Though they're not the person I would follow without hesitation. They wouldn't be the one Pidge turns too when they want to have a laugh with, and i know Hunk wouldn't accept anyone else without a fight. You were apparently Lance's hero and I don't think he would want you to believe that at all."

"Thanks Keith, when I can, I will seek help, maybe the Blades have psychologists?" Shiro laughed and Keith couldn't help but join him, it was a weird sense of humour that they shared but it was something. 

"Sure thing Shiro, but we are here."

When they reached the labs, they found the Olkari and Rynar conversing with Pidge and making something from the organic matter of Olkarion. There was a buzz in the air as Pidge was animatedly making suggestions and Hunk helping with the physics and science of all the tech that they were trying to make. 

“You found something?” Asked Keith, his voice more alive than it had been for weeks. 

“No the Olkari can’t tell what that signal is but all they know it’s all over the universe. But, we did have an idea, we track Lance not Blue. It’s a totally different method to Allura’s and the castles but this is more up to date.”

“We just need something of Lance that he held dear.” Added Rynar, and immediately Keith ran to Lance’s room with Hunk close behind. As they entered the room, he looked at Hunk.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” he asked.

“His family, yeah.” They looked everywhere for something of his family, but there was no trace. There were no photos, no memories to be found. They had searched his wardrobe and in his hoodie but there was nothing. They were at a loss, there was no connection to Earth, to family or anything that could tie him to any of the paladins. It truly felt like Lance was lost forever, never to be found bar that one fleeting glance. Then they found something, a small bottle of liquid. 

“He always wore that outside of missions – its water from Varadero Beach, let’s get back to them we can try it. It has to work he never shut up about his family or his Cuban roots.”

Hunk dragged Keith back out and ran for the labs and held it up to the almost complete machine. A soft blue glow emanated from the water and machine and it began to hum and vibrate then it exploded into a star map, and a pin was above a point in space at the dead centre. It showed them where they were and were dismayed, the were so many light years away. There were no hospitable planets and it was almost guaranteed it was where Lance had ended up and probably dying. The streak of blue could have been anything and the spike could have just been an unfortunate coincidence. He remembered Hunks words, even if he was dead, he still deserved to be found and not lost in space for all eternity. 

In all their excitement, they hadn’t noticed Allura being dragged in by Coran.

“Give us the co-ordinates and we’ll wormhole to the system,” she said surprising them all. “Do not think this is over because I am helping, we just need the Blue Paladin and his Lion back.”

Within minutes there was a worm hole in front of them and they went through it. and what they saw on the other side shocked them all, it was a hive of activity, Galra and other species’ ships alike in the space, a planet where there shouldn’t have been one in the first place according to the ancient and the new star maps. 

“The Galra have him, remember with that space station? How they hid that. We need to save him.” Hunk was in full steam mode and he was aching to get to his lion and so was Keith. But they needed a plan. 

“So we enter the atmosphere then Keith and Pidge will try to find Lance while Hunk and Shiro will pick off any Galra, according to the signatures there is a significant amount on the planet. The castle will provide back up along with the Blades,” commanded Allura, Keith and the others were all too eager to get to their lions and find Lance. The Castle entered the atmosphere and they then flew out into the city below. Within seconds there was ground to air missiles that were on them and the castle. Within minutes jets of ice were being blasted at them. Within minutes Keith saw Blue and tried the comms will no success, Lance was dead and Blue had chosen another from this planet. Within minutes they still carried on trying to get to surface level find Lance’s body only to be blocked by the fire from the ground and from the Blue Lion. They didn’t get anywhere near the ground nor make any damage to the Galra planet side. With a heavy heart, Keith returned to the Castle, the comms were empty and no one was talking but they all were thinking the same thing. Lance was gone and they had to deal with a member of Voltron who was an enemy working against then.

 

Lance was glad of the warnings Blue had sent to him 

_Someone is trying to track your quintessence; Lance hurry be prepared._

He immediately jumped into his armour and sent messages to HQ warning them to be prepared attack imminent. The messages back made his blood run stone cold, life signs show Alteans, assume its Voltron. They were here for him. It had been weeks now and they only just came for him now as he flew up in Blue, he ensured his comms were linked only to the Interplanetary Alliance frequencies and opened fire on his old teammates before they destroyed the hope that he had found while the missile systems ensured that nothing would touch the surface. He gave no hint of recognition or hesitation. He had found a family and was loved once more, he was smiling and laughing and happy again. He wasn’t going to give that up.

When he saw them retreat he flew back to HQ where a delegation, was waiting for him. 

“Ahh Lance, we thank you for your speedy message, you have saved many lives.”

“Im sorry Barra but I couldn’t care less right now, I want to know why The Castle of Lions in in orbit and why they would attack our home!”

“You’re not the only one. We have been trying to get a transmission stream connected using their frequencies..” A beeping interrupted Barra and a screen opened up showing Allura in the command deck with the rest of the team behind them, joined by the leaders of the Voltron Alliance and the Blades. 

“Please state your intent on this planet.” He asked, he was civil but did not extend a hand in friendship, his planet had been invaded and Lance was inclined to agree, the team never really did think about what was actually going on planet side when there were no beacons but Galra settlements. 

“We came for our former Blue Paladin, hand over his body and we will leave peacefully.”

“No, for we do not have it, it’s the paladins choice whether or not they see you as we will be sending a diplomatic delegation, including myself, to your ship. We bring no weapons, no information, a neutral party who will talk for the safety of our home. We will be there in a varga.”

“Noted,” came Allura’s terse reply, similar to the one that was used on Lance. Barra turned to him and said,

“I meant it when it was your choice, I’m sending Plutox with us as well as one other.”

Lance knew the day had been coming and it would be better to face it now and in the company of people who cared for him but he didn’t feel ready. Would I ever be ready he thought to himself, am I ok with seeing them again?. Doubt still plagued his mind as he made his decision and walked out of the building. 

The varga passed and Keith was waiting with the others in the docking port, the air lock opened and four people walked out, one was a dragon like being who was flanked by an owl like alien to his left and on his right were two hooded figures, the furthest right pulled down his hood to reveal a full blooded Galra who was standing close to the other one. They reached up for their hood and let it fall. 

“Lance,” he breathed. 

 

The wall of water was now at their feet and in it was debris from ships and other things it had already taken in its path back to the shore. It was too late for the people looking up at the water and a storm began to brew above it. They tried to run and climb and hide and the water just started to fall, merciless in imminent destruction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS IF I WOULD HURT PLUTOX A LOT DAMN LIKE HIM AND FLURO AND MAXIE AND GEOGHEGAN ARE MY CHILDREN LIKE NOOOO. ALSO I HATE THE KILL YOUR GAYS TROPE I WANT THEM JUST TO BE HAPPY!!!
> 
> well, life is really shity. Im only going on for this fic and a promise i made, its not the best but its something to cling on to. All your comments make me smile and i know that it isnt popular or the best thing in existance, but i appreciate every single kudo, read and comment, especially, Jadegem02, hybridkitsune, triggeringangel, and KakitoSougo, your comments really do make my day every time i get one and your love for my OC's and story make it all worth it. 
> 
> Also thank you so much for reading and Heart of Tungsten Carbide is next so ANNNGGGGSTTTTT and the update may take a bit compared to my usual rate as i want it to be perfect and im dealing with a lot of shit rn.


	10. Heart Of Tungsten Carbide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diplomancy is tried, Lance talks to the team and the team have an idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS FINALLY HERE1!!! ALL 9K+ OF IT
> 
> Sorry it took so long - but i hope its worth it!!
> 
> That being said there is a lot of references to panic attacks and the torture, please be aware while reading this. most prominently from "he was yelling and crying" to "he cried himself into" im sorry if i missed any out :/
> 
> This now has fan art - go check it out!!!!! by the wonderful [Triggeringangel on tumblr!](http://triggeringangel.tumblr.com/post/162585114057/ok-but-like-you-guys-need-to-read-the-storm-or/) Please go give them the support and love they deserve for this!!!! <3

**Tungsten – one of the hardest metals in the elementary table, and the highest melting point of any element in the known universe, when alloyed with carbon to form Tungsten Carbide, it retains its astonishingly high melting point and it’s the second strongest material on Earth after the diamond. It is only found in two known places in the world, but where it is found, it amasses in large quantities and is extremely precious, versatile and one of the hardest things to destroy.**

The water fell and destroyed everything in its path and in it, there were shards of tungsten, piercing people’s hearts and the water filled the land. Buildings meant to last succumbed and those who first saw the wave were dead the moment they saw it. 

 

Lance looked across at the people who he once considered friends, almost family even. He looked at them and felt nothing. He was dressed in traditional Versi robes made of velvet and cottons and it was a deep navy blue while Plutox was in dark purple, intricate embroidery telling their stories. It was a show of honour in the Interplanetary Alliance to be awarded them. It was a sign of their dedication, their bravery, and their sacrifices. They wouldn’t know what it meant or what it meant to him when Barra had given it to them before departing. 

He pulled down the hood to the cloak and he heard someone whisper his name, heard and did not care, he was here on a mission for the Alliance and that what why he was back on board the Castle of Lions, not for the team, not for himself but for the people of Versi, his family and those he had vowed to protect over the last couple of months. He looked at them with cold eyes and felt Plutox shift a tiny bit closer to him, hands braced to fight if needed.

He looked at them all, their expressions ranged from fury from Allura, to sadness mixed with hope in Hunk, there was even something is Keiths pained expression that he couldn’t quite place. Lance, still didn’t care and acted as if they were hostile people that he would be mediating with. He was quick notice Pidge and Hunk break their ranks and run the distance between him and sensing his discomfort, Plutox stepped in front of him just daring the two paladins to take a step further. Their faces fell and they walked back to the other end of the port, Barra and Cairn stepped forwards first and Lance fell in behind with Plutox. 

He walked and he saw how little the Castle had changed, he saw Shay and her grandmother in the common room joined by a few Arusians and some of the Olkari leaders. They all looked at him and he wasn’t sure what he read from them, there was definitely contempt in there but also relief. It was strange. He knew his disappearance would have caused issues with Voltron, where their planets attacked? Lance was confused and carried on walking. They were lead to a room Lance vaguely remembered from his initial wonderings around the castle, and now he could read basic altean he read “War Room”. Upon entering, the delegation sat on the right hand side of the oval table while the team sat on the other side. 

“Thank you for allowing us onboard, your Highness. we have no weapons and all we wish is to understand why you thought invading our planet was the best course of action, then discuss what happens next.” Barra started the talks, he was one of the native species of Versi and it had always been a safe point throughout the decapheebs, the Versians had long life on their side and many grew to be over a few decapheebs and he was one of the older members of his species and at the start of the war, Barra had still been alive. Lance respected him and admired him, he was everything a leader should be, though he did have a silver tongue when the situation called for one. They had time and practise on their side and Lance hoped that the team opposite him wouldn’t do anything stupid that would seal their fates. 

“That is all well and good, but we want to know why you have our Blue Paladin.” Allura replied, it was like that was her only goal. Lance looked back to his time on the castle and remembered how focused she got or how easily she lost herself in missions. Her impulsiveness when she left the castle with Keith or when she allowed herself to get captured to save Shiro. He knew that the Allura before him was not the one he had come to know but one that was fuelled by stress, loss and so much expectation from a legacy she didn’t really ask for. He would treat her like he would any other person he was talking to in these situations. 

“That is not what we are here to discuss, we are talking for the safety of an entire planet, Highness, one that you decided to attack without even thinking of hailing. You owe the planet an explanation.”

“We were looking for the Blue Paladin, we tracked him here and saw the amount of Galra life signs and assumed he was in trouble so I ordered the remaining paladins to get him, whether he be dead or alive,” Allura conceded.

“Yet you did not scan for other life forms and assumed that just because we have Galra on our planet that it was under Empire control? That we could not be contacted or talked to civilly?” He replied, and Lance was looking at the rest of the team and noticed how they were letting Allura take over, Shiro wasn’t adding in as he used to and Keith, Pidge and Hunk’s gaze never left him. Coran looked like he was stuck between the two and that he had been the buffer for Allura on his own. Out of them all Coran was the one who deserved all this the least, he had made to include him and though sometimes his stories felt belittling, he meant well. 

“Before we talk more, we want the Blue Paladin back.”

“It is his choice alone and I do not speak for him, we made our terms clear, no weapons, no information nothing to negotiate treaties with, just trust that you don’t betray it or us. We are a refuge planet who will defend ourselves if necessary but our council has always believed that violence is our last resort.”

“If you are a refuge, then why do you have so many Galra living on the surface, wondering freely?” 

“Its not just other species who suffer Princess, when Altea fell so did Galra, we have our own share of pain from the Empire. Do not talk about what you don’t know.” Plutox snapped and Lance felt his heart go out to him, Allura had missed ten thousand years of history. 

“Please do try to remember that your highness, we have nothing that would interest you in this planet, unless it’s the lives of millions of refuges.” Barra said, they had agreed that talking about the Interplanetary Alliance was a no go. 

“How do we know we can trust you. You bring a Galra on board as if he can be trusted, you hid this planet in a similar way that the Empire does. How do you know he is not a spy or keeping our Paladin captive?” 

Cairn then snapped “Do not presume to know how our planet works, or the suffering we all have endured. We know you were asleep for decapheebs but that does not excuse this prejudice and assumption.” Where Barra was all collected calm and silver tongues, Cairn was all contained fury and who they relied on when things were going round in circles. She also had a soft spot for Plutox as she had been his point of contact as she was the spymaster for their branch of the Alliance. Allura was silent and Coran spoke up, 

“May we at least be able to talk to Lance, he had been missing for months and we have all been concerned for him.”

Lance knew what the team were seeing, all the scars that crossed his face and hands and hardened eyes. He breathed and decided to tell the bare minimum lest he cause himself a panic attack. 

“I was on Lotor’s ship, I was tortured and I escaped. I then found my way here, no big deal.” He left out his time on Crona, rescuing Plutox and his family. 

Allura still wasn’t convinced and started to yell at them, “You bring a Galra into the castle, you refuse to let us have our Paladin back and you encourage his behaviour. We need him to form Voltron!”

“Yet you don’t say his fucking name!” It was only a matter of time before Keith would snap and was genuinely surprised it was in his defence, “It’s all you’ve been concerned about was Voltron, occasionally you were about him as a person, but its always been Voltron.”

“He escaped, he could have returned!”

Lance saw the team descend into bickering and yelling amongst them and looked to Barra who nodded at him and he raised his voice enough to be heard but not to be aggressive.

“Yes, I escaped but it wasn’t without its troubles. I have a bounty on my head and I found a safe haven that took me in and helped me. Then you came down and tried to wipe an entire species of the face of this planet in the name of peace. That is genocide. 

“The Galra technology has allowed this place to be that safe haven and yet it is still bad because it is Galra? I protected a planet from those who opposed it, like a true Paladin, a true defender. I don’t discriminate which planets I help save.” When he stopped, he knew he had their attention and the looks of pride from his side filled him with joy but on the other side of the table it was another story

“Lance that’s all very noble but you’re needed to help defeat the Galra.”

“No, there are more people in the universe and there are many people who will fight. I am just one of many. One who had a well known Lion.”

“I believe a break is needed, but this does not mean that this is over.” Barra said, sensing the situation as Lance had, that the tension needed to be broken calmly before it escalated.

“We will only continue if we get to speak to Lance alone.” Allura was being stubborn and Lance looked to Barra, Cairn and Plutox, who in silent agreement left it to him as it was him who would have to face them.

“Fine, But I want Plutox on the ship still and a pod to return back to the surface.” 

Allura nodded and left the room and the team left after her, unsure of what was happening. 

_Anna was sitting with him as he cried into her, he had been through so much but it was the final straw, he was just so done with everything except his family, and when his sister walked into his room calling him for dinner he burst into tears and said everything, no longer able to hide behind a smile._

_“Lance, people say you have a heart of gold, but they’re wrong. Its made of Tungsten. Tungsten Carbide. Its rarer and more precious and worth so much more, its strong and unbreakable. Its versatile and can be as beautiful as gold in jewellery or as strong in the highest temperatures. Just like you. Let no one tell you otherwise, or they face you and your wrath, and when you’re done with them, then they face me and the rest of us.”_

_He and Anna were close but they fought too but it was always over something trivial, they were the only ones who were allowed to insult each other and if anyone else did they’d have each other’s backs, despite there being a 5 year age gap._

_“You keep fighting to get to where you want to be, prove them all wrong and know that you can be whoever you want to be.”_

 

He walked into the kitchen and grabbed himself something to drink, he forgot how dry the air was in the ship and was feeling dehydrated, he walked back to Plutox handing him over some of the liquid. They were standing outside the War Room after Cairn and Barra returned to the surface, and were waiting on the team to return. Plutox wrapped Lance in a hug and was grateful that he had him there. He wouldn’t have been able to do this on his own in the castle when they could run off with him and not say goodbye. 

“You feel uncomfortable or you just want out of there, then you get out and we will go home.”

Lance nodded and Plutox kissed the top of Lance’s head and moved back when they heard approaching footsteps they turned towards them and with hard eyes watched them approach. Lance opened one of the doors and followed them in. 

He sat opposite them once more, a distinction between him and them, and he knew the tide had turned but to where he did not know. He had all eyes on him, his scars and how he was dressed. The silver embroidery on deep navy blue of a whole suit and cloak worthy of being from a high fantasy novel. He felt as out of place here as he did on the day he left, but at least this time he knew exactly where he stood and who he stood for. 

“Lance, what happneded?” It was Shiro, the only other person to know what he was going through with his PTSD. 

“I told you, I was on Lotor’s ship, I’m sure you got the transmissions.” The faces that stared back at him were aghast and confused, they really didn’t put much effort into searching for him, one look into the Galra transmissions was all they needed to do. 

“Is that all you have?” Shiro gestured to the scars. And Lance fought the cold in his blood as it ran down his spine and he felt the crackle of electricity in his skin.

“No.”

“Lance, I’m sorry.” And Lance was curious to what he was sorry for. For excluding him and ensuring that he had no back up or hope from them or for the fact he suffered all of it and alone.

“I’m used to it. now what did you want to talk about, I have other duties to do.” Not exactly a lie, he had promised Maxie and Geoghegan that he would take them and their parents out for ice cream, or the closed thing he found to it on Versi. 

“We wanted to apologise, we all made mistakes, and we want you back.”

“Do I get a choice in this?”

Silence. A very uncomfortable silence. They had assumed that he would walk straight back to them arms open and acting as if nothing had changed. But it had, the circumstances changed and he had changed too. He simply wasn’t the Lance they were looking for.

“I see where I stand then.” He moved to get up and the three younger paladins looked at him with sorrow in their eyes,

“Don’t go, we want to make things right,” said Keith, his voice filled with strained emotion. Then Lance knew this was all a ploy, Keith wouldn’t care about him unless under duress. How fucking sick of them to use that against him, well it sucks to be them as he moved on long ago and found what it meant to be cared about again. 

“Then you can let me go.” He said and then Allura grabbed his wrist which he easily removed himself from.

“You have a duty to the universe, to Voltron. To your friends and your family.” Allura had done it. His found a snapping point and he got angry. More so than at Lotor because at least he knew that Lotor didn’t like him, but they pretended to care when all they wanted was another thing from him. 

“I am serving my duty to the universe just not with you. I am doing my duty as a paladin of Voltron, just not with you. I am doing my duty to my friends and families, but they’re just not you or will be with you for a long time to come.

“I learnt a lot with my time with you and I learnt even more on my own, you gave me this opportunity I found and I will protect my home from people who seek to hurt it.” Lance had hoped it had been enough but it wasn’t. 

Appalled, Pidge couldn’t contain themselves any more.

“We are trying to apologise here Lance! We want to make things better, between us! We missed you!”

“Missed me?” Lance was scoffing, he really didn’t believe a word they were saying, they had yet to show him that anything had changed. “For me or the fact you had to fight without forming Voltron. So far, Allura has only referred to me as the Blue Paladin, do you really expect me to believe that. You even got Keith to act as if he cares. You really must need me if you’re that deseprate that Keith agreed to help you get me back. I’m flattered, really, flattered that I’m worth that effort.” He may have been snappy but he hadn’t yelled or raised his voice any more than it had been at the start of the meeting. He was just as done with their shit as the day he and Blue were taken away. 

“We can try to reverse what ever the Galra down there have done to you, just please trust us.” It was Hunk, Hunk and his special brand of caring if only it affected him and the ones he cared about. Now Lance’s patience had really worn thin, after all he said about Versi and they still said that. He could no longer hold in his anger. Anger that had been inside him for so long, and as much as he had made peace with it, it had to come out as they were only bring back every negative emotion he fought to keep a hold on. He would show them what a Heart of Tungsten Carbide really looked like. 

“Excuse me? The Galra “down there” as you so eloquently put it, saved my fucking life. The Galra “down there” have suffered just as much as the rest of the universe. The Galra “down there” are more my friends and my family than you have been since we were stranded from the corrupted wormhole. They have been there for me more than you ever have.

“Don’t you dare presume that my time on Lotors ship didn’t change me. I know you wouldn’t rescue me. I knew as soon as you told me to handle Lotor’s entire armada on my own. You belittled me and stomped down on every idea, every joke everything I did to keep us from falling apart while no one noticed I was. I was never talked to despite everything, no one checked up on me at all. So I knew and it still fucking hurt because I almost resorted to something worse to get out of the fucking cell. You excluded me and now you expect me to come back to you with open arms and be relieved that you save me from the nasty Galra on a planet of refuge for anyone not loyal to the empire? You make me seem like I only have one purpose on this team. I am more than _that._ ”

“Lance, we..” Hunk tried to say but Lance interrupted him.

“Hunk, why don’t we start with you. You were my best friend. How could you? For all that I’ve done for you and would do again, you really never noticed anything beyond your own bubble. If I was in that bubble then you might have noticed considering we have been friends since the Garrison but you never let me near and imposed a radius. You never had time for me at all. You were supposed to be by me, and even before I left, you weren’t. What happened to make you ignore me and why didn’t you tell me if I fucked up. I though we at least trusted enough to do that, but as always in this stupid group I’m wrong.

“And while we’re at this, Pidge , darling Pidge the castle sweetheart. You have Allura and Shiro’s hearts, you have Hunk’s whenever you want to work on something and even Keith likes you. But to me I always saw you as one of the family, even back in the Garrison when all you did was sneak about. But you never saw me as that? It felt like you never saw me as worth your time and that all I was, was meaningless back ground chatter you wanted to be rid of. You always reminded me of how stupid and idiotic I am and guess what, words also have power and when told enough times with the actions to back it all the fuck up, even _I_ can put two and two together. I obviously fucking am because no one else objected it and practically encouraged it.

“Then there’s your illustrious Leader Shiro. Shiro who plays favourites. Once you were my hero and all I ever aspired to be and oh, how I wanted you to notice me. So when we found our selves in this war, you never even realised how devastating it was to either not be noticed or only put down. Such negative reinforcement is such great fun right? The guess what? There has only been one bit of praise directed at me from you and that was when we had the teladuv on the line. You never thought to see if I was ok or if I wanted help. You offer it so freely to Pidge and Keith, offering so much and even to Hunk on occasion but I was never there on your list. What a great leader you are.

“Speaking of Keith, Keith the best pilot of his generation, the red paladin and the person who always saves the day despite disobeying orders and gets praised for it. Now you really took the biscuit. What did I do to make you hate me so much after we started to get good? What did I ever do for that? I tried so hard to change for you to like me and why did I become your verbal punching bag? Why was I never good enough for you to treat me as a person with feelings? You treated me like shit and I’m so annoyed at myself for taking so long to fucking realise as I got myself hurt so much trying to make sure you were ok and no one was there when I got out of the pods I had to put myself in. I tried to give you my help and then I gave up on you when you had given up on me so easily. All I ever wanted was your friendship, it became obvious all you wanted was a punch bag.

“Coran, you were the only one who wanted to talk to me and though your stories sometimes made me feel inferior I was at least glad for the company. But it would have been nice to have someone on my side. For the person who spent the most time with me since being in space, you didn’t learn as much about me as I did about you. I jumped in front of you to save you and it’s the one thing I’ll never brag about because that was fucking traumatic, I get nightmares about you being dead but no one bothered to check in on me past the physical wounds or comforted me about the fucking scar on my back.

“Finally Allura, who forgets that we were not raised for war. Who has allowed her judgements and prejudices to cloud her vision and decides that attack and defence are the only ways and diplomacy is only good for allies. I wonder how many possible allies you’d already lost before Shiro went missing. A lot probably. You don’t even refer to me by my name, it’s like I mean nothing to you. You never acknowledged what I did right. You never even noticed my improvements, you treated me like the rest of them, like shit. Fuck, you reminded me so much of my sister; caring, loyal and when her hair was down and shoulders not up tight from being overworked in her uni degree, so full of life and hope. But it was easy for you to not care anyway. I just wanted to find a bit of home or at least friendship. Was that too much to fucking ask for?

“So why should I come back? So I can be that tenth or even the fifteenth wheel considering the Balmerans and Olkari are here, even the Arusians! Is that really worth coming back to, because I think it isn’t. I have a life now and I am upholding my bargain with the universe to protect it. Just not with you.” Throughout his speech, his tone was scathing and he had really tried to handle his anger, it needed to be said and he hoped it was enough. He was so close to walking out, but he was giving them one last chance one chance to prove that they had learnt something. Then Allura just had to keep talking despite the level of how done lance was was eminating from every fibre of his being.

“Lance, you may have been tortured but that does not give you the excuse to say any of that! Shiro was with them for a year and he doesn’t hold it over the team.”

“Allura, did you not listen? I know you’re stressed but you need to see how your hate and judgements toward an entire people affect everyone and every decision and their consequences! And me and Shiro were different circumstances. I heard everything they were doing and what they were planning. I was so fucking alone and that isn’t the half of it, you don’t get to hear this sob story princess.” Lance was almost in tears, he had seen what could have happened to Versi in his mind.

“Allura, he does have a point,” Shiro said as he laid a hand on her arm. Allura then reacted which then made Keith protective of Shiro, knowing what he was going through and that Shiro didn’t deserve her misdirected anger and yelled at her, then Hunk joined in trying to get them all to calm down. Then Pidge yelled at Lance.

“We are trying to apologise Lance, we want you back with us because we miss _you!_ You have no idea how hard for us it’s been, we tried to find you, we really did while fighting the Galra. We tried Lance, fuck, we drove ourselves half crazy over the last few months.”

“I don’t want your fucking apologies! None of them! I want nothing from you! I was tortured for a week solid then sentenced to a public execution because Lotor could and for fucking fun. All because I refused to say anything about you. You all treated me like _shit_ and I protected you and I never relied on you the way you all rely on me. You all fucking used me. I was right in there, so was Lotor, you couldn’t give a flying fuck until you needed me, then you missed me, only when you didn’t get what you were used to getting. At least Lotor saw that I had some fucking worth even when it was when he was torturing me into oblivion.”

He was yelling and crying and he felt the panic attack coming on. He had said too much and he could feel the electricity running through his muscles and the burns and all the cuts all new and fresh and he couldn’t keep it in. He heard Plutox come in and felt him round him and picked him up and out of the room. He was vaguely aware of the team he left behind clamouring behind them and he felt the seats of the pod and being ejected into space. 

He cried himself into an exhaustion induced sleep as Plutox stroked his hair and sung Galran lullabies he learnt from when Geoghegan was still a baby. They were just floating in space and re-entered the Versi atmosphere, Lance slept on and Plutox kept his vigil over him, making a mental note to tell him how brave he was for lasting that long. 

 

Coran was the first to speak after a long stagnant silence filled with the tension that hadn’t left when Lance did, crying into the Galra’s shoulder as he was guided out.

“He’s right, we did use him. He was right about how we were and still are to some respect. We really let him down.” 

“He was captured by Lotor.” Allura was still in shock, Lance’s word finally hitting home what everyone had been trying to say to her, she looked towards Coran and they both left the room, with a promise to talk with them later. She knew what ever Shiro over a year was just as bad as what Lance had faced in a matter of weeks, and the intensity of it wouldn’t have left him unscathed. 

Hunk was silent and still, so different from normal and Pidge was still a tiny ball of rage, fuming at Lance’s anger towards them and Keith looked to Shiro and he himself didn’t know where to start. To some extent he could sympathise, he wasn’t the same person he had been before the Kerberos mission. They were all hurt but Lances comments but they hadn’t shown him that they had changed and pushed to apologise, to ease their own guilt. They had Allura ignoring him as a person and they did go guns blazing when there was a diplomatic approach. 

Shiro knew how much the two young adults and teenager before him wanted Lance back, to have their friend back and relearn him and enjoy his presence. Changed as he may be, together Lance and Shiro could help each other or at least understand each other in a way the others never could, at least not yet. Not that he wanted them to, he hoped so much against it but Lance was proof it was a fools hope and it was just a matter of time before they all had to face demons at night. Call him a fool but he still held out that tiny flame of hope. 

“Did we really do all that?” Asked Pidge, their anger was directed inwards and to everyone else, but in some part to Lance, that he hadn’t told them, but they hadn’t given him the chance to did they?

“I guess we did,” Hunk reflected, knowing that they had indeed did everything he said, but they did realise that they had been wrong and were trying to change to be better, they might not have realised the extent they had hurt him so thoroughly. “He even tried to be diplomatic about it, he never even raised his voice about it. he had accepted it. he only got angry about when he was captured. And even then he was right, we could have rescued him if we tried.”

“We failed him and we proved it by not standing up for him in here, we will do better by him and we will actually show it. I have a plan,” Keith said, his plan may not have been the best plan but if it allowed them to see what Lance saw, and maybe be able to see him. To prove that its _him_ that they wanted rather than force him to be with them, then they could find a new way forward together. If only any of them knew how to work the command decks systems.

 

On Versi, Lance had yet to wake up and Plutox had placed him in their bed, Fluro and himself took the sofa and snuggled close, it was only a few vargas in space but it was time away from his husband and reporting back to Cairn and Barra had been hell as he had to retell what Lance had went through. Lance was allowed to be angry but he would have to hear them out at some point and he hoped it would be soon for his sake, Plutox didn’t want to see him hurt any more than he already was. They soon drifted off to sleep and content in Fluro’s arms. 

They were awaken as dawn broke and Lance was asking for them, 

“Sholta called, they want to discuss options.” 

Fluro got up immediately while Plutox was confused and a barely function Galra at ridiculous times in the morning. He blinked and went to the kitchen to find something to wake himself up and found that it didn’t have the desired effect, if anything it made him more tired. He got himself a mug of tea and walked back into the living room then he saw the face on his wall, screamed and jolted the tea on his arm then screamed again as he ran his skin under cold water, despite hating to get the patches of fur wet. 

“WHAT THE FUCK.” Plutox was scared shitless, he didn’t care if he woke the kids up he just wanted to be in another room, another planet.

“Plutox, its fine,”

“THAT’S A FUCKING NAGARI” he was yelling loud enough to wake the entire street and he heard Geoghegan thump down the stairs and hop into the main room, looked up at Sholta and laugh, fall over and laugh some more.

“Is Papa really scared of Sholta?” Then to make matters worse, Maxie was yelling at her brother for not helping her into the exoskeleton and came rushing into the room. 

“Hey Sholta, Papa? Really? They’re awesome.” Betrayed. He had been betrayed by his own children and now by his giggling husband and even Lance was stifling his laughter. He felt his ears droop slightly as decided that pouting was the best course of action. He would guilt them all into submission. It worked on Fluro he started to scratch behind his ears ut it made Lance laugh all the more and nothing, not even dirty looks would shut him up. 

“Kids? Attack” 

Lance conceded defeat as his kids then tackled Lance down to the ground tickling him till he was begging for mercy in between breathes. The nagari on the screen was also laughing but there was not much he could do about it. 

“So you heard the stories?” The nagari, Sholta, asked him.

“Yes, there were many as I moved from base to base, they were said to be guardians of space and very fierce and great. They were to be respected and feared. After many eons passed they became myths and legends, to tell around the mess halls on long journeys in deep space and to scare the trainees while on board. I never thought you were real. They were horror stories.”

“It is not us who kill, it’s what we protect the universe from, there are worse things than the Galra Empire.”

Lance sent the kids outside as he knew it wouldn’t be good for them to hear what would be said, but it had to be discussed - how they could bring down the Empire safely. They talked well into the night and Fluro left to put the kids to bed and then returned, placing his head on Plutox’s shoulder, and the finalised a plan to present to the resistance leaders. Lance fell asleep on the sofa as Sholta sang him the lullabies again while Plutox and Fluro headed up stairs. For the first time in ages, he finally had a good dream as he heard thunder overhead and his mind played reels in his head. 

 

The next morning on the castle, the four paladins stood before a transmission to Barra, they were all nervous in the leaders presence and they hoped he would understand. 

“Lance had just left the building after official business but it is still his choice whether or not he meets with you. He briefed me before his other duties what happened on the ship. He said he may not have been ready to see you yet and that is my fault for exposing him like that. You may gain entry to the city given by the following co-ordinates, if Lance wants to see you, you may. He has not completely given up on you, he just needs time and proof.” 

They all left the command deck and headed towards their lions, but on his way, Keith was stopped by Kolivan.

“It is with a heavy heart to say we are leaving the castle, we want to help our people on Versi and we have found Blades we had once thought lost, one even heading up a resistance on her own. We owe it to them to find them. We don’t also agree with the treatment of Lance since his abduction, it is hard seeing such disregard from the people who are meant to care for each other. If you ever want to join, you know where to find us. You will find your family. We will miss you and you can always contact us. We will still help Voltron but some of us have family they need to see.”

Kolivan then walked way, it wasn’t a good bye but it could have been worse. But it meant another ally was temporarily lost. He had been spending more time with the Blades while training but he had also been learning about his knife and suspicions on who his mother was, it was still a large pool or candidates and Earth time didn’t match with Galra space time. But he also found that they accepted him in once he had proven themselves and they had helped him to accept his Galra heritage. They helped him as they helped find his mother, if she was alive. 

Keith headed to Red and felt her wrap around his minds

 _I’ll be where ever you go, you can’t get rid of me that easily._ if Red could scoff, she was definitely scoffing. Her love for him flooded his mind and he joined the others in space. They flew down into the city and landed at the co-ordinates Barra had given them, they were greeted by the dragon person and were briefed on the rules of the city, the main ones being no violence in whatever form, no wilful destruction of property and no harm against another person based on their species. 

They wondered down into the streets and were immediately hit by it all, this was the first truly free planet they had stepped on, there was a buzz in the air of excitement and they were walking around unnoticed and there was no targets on their backs. There were multitudes of people trading and going about their lives and it was easy to see why Lance had so readily defended it, it really was a more peaceful place. Keith was sure there was issues under the surface but it was a paradise compared to the rest of the universe, people were raising families and actually living a life where they could be what they wanted to be. 

They wondered the streets and looked at some of the trader’s wears, and Pidge had fallen in love with one of the stores, it was their tech dream with all this gadgetry and they soon got talking to the workshop owners and was learning all about the technology available. They agreed to meet at sunset back at the state building they arrived at. 

It wasn’t long till Hunk was caught up in the food market, determined to make the castles food stocks more edible. They had mostly been eating food goo and whatever they came by, but here there was food from galaxies away and Keith was sure that Hunk was trying to take as much as he could. He hadn’t been this much in his element since being on the swap moon where Lance had somehow got Kaltenecker, the happiness suited him after nearly three months of missing his best friend. 

Keith was still wandering the streets with Shiro lost in his own mind, like he was while at the Garrison. What was he going to do? He had no family on Earth and the one person who had shown any interest in him was now so far out of his reach, he missed what he had and he could feel something start in his chest when he thought of Lance. He was alone again and he didn’t see much of a life outside of the team and his place in space. Maybe the Blades offer was actually worthwhile. He was so deep in thought that he didn’t notice that Shiro was no longer next to him and that he was in a very unfamiliar city alone. 

 

Lance was walking around the streets with his family, the kids had run out on he was deep in conversation with their parents. 

“I feel bad for talking to them the way I did, but they kept pushing and pushing. The whole time I was fighting through a panic attack and..” Lance fell silent, both of them knew what had happened and didn’t blame him for what he did.

“They kept pushing to apologise like my feelings still didn’t matter, they forgot that I’m a human again. They forced me to say what happened. It’s still so fresh and I still struggle to look in a mirror without having to fight to not get lost in my head.”

“Your feelings were valid, they should have listened and gave you space. You may have acted out and hurt them back but I you feel bad about it right?” Lance nodded and Fluro continued “Then you apologise for hurting them with how you said it, but not for your feelings. It was something they needed to hear. Two years you’ve been away from your home and family, and if you were a team they would have learnt how to read you the way you learn to read everyone else.”

Fluro gave him a one armed hug, as did Plutox, and he realised how much he had been smiling while living with them, talking to people in the resistances and Sholta. Lance was left to wonder if he wanted to go back to forming Voltron, he did want to help the universe, it was more than he ever could have dreamt about as he was in freaking space but at such a high cost. He had seen so many storms over planets and a few were electrical storms but his mother had been right, all he wanted to do was keep looking up at its beauty and feel it in his bones as the thunder rolled through him and the water felt cool on his skins and it felt like all the trauma he had endured in space was washed away. 

How would they form Voltron now anyway? He had become such a different person and he had been away for so long, they would have to do so much but he did know that he would return and he was slowly getting there, he just didn’t want to give that up just yet. He wouldn’t want to give it up, he found a new home and a new family to join the others he kept in his heart of Tungsten Carbide, a heart so impenetrable he knew he would keep it as safe as he kept his heart. For all his flirting, he wore his heart on his cheek to save it from others and to protect those he kept locked away inside it. 

He thought he was imagining the tuft of hair in the crowd and when he heard the small whimpers in the side alley he was passing he knew for sure. 

“You might want to hang back please don’t let the kids near me for a while, I need to help someone with bad experiences with the Galra. I don’t want my family hurt.” He ran towards Shiro knowing exactly what was happening, he knew that familiar sense of dread and panic that was flooding through Shiro. He knelt down beside him and talked him through it, reminding him that he was not in the arenas or in the cells. That he was on Versi and was safe, to follow his voice back out and that no matter how crushing his panic would be, it would go. 

He wondered how the team had let Shiro get this bad or maybe he was the only one who knew how bad this could get and how it felt. Either way he was going to fix it, he may still not be entirely comfortable to be around the team, but he wasn’t going to let Shiro suffer any longer without any help. 

“Hey Shiro, I’m going to be bringing you over to some Galra they will not hurt you, I promise,” He said gently as 

“Lance? Why? Why are you doing this? I hurt you so much.”

“Because no one deserves this, and to do so alone without help. Follow me.” He led them to his family and though Shio was wary, he didn’t activate his arm. They told him where to take Shiro and stayed with him while they waited to get a small secluded area with a good enough connection to Crona. He connected to the therapist’s line and left Shiro and detail of how to contact him when he was finished. 

He was seated in a small café a few streets over and went to collect Shiro a few vargas later and was glad to see that Shiro was looking better. He was not expecting the hug that Shiro embraced him with and had to wave his hand in Plutox’s direction to show he was fine. He wrapped his arms around Shiro and hugged back wondering how long he had waited for this, to be noticed by Shiro in a positive light.

“I’m so sorry Lance. Im sorry for ignoring you and never seeing you as that sharpshooter you are. Thank you for being there when you didn’t need you. I missed you so much and not because you help with these but because you made the times in between them worth it.”

Lance was shocked and he pulled Shiro in tighter and knew that it was all sincere, Shiro was a brilliant actor and it helped when in situations and in deep cover, and it was a completely different behaviour to that part that Shiro could easily play, this was the Shiro he usually helped after a nightmare. 

Soon enough Plutox and Fluro walked over to join them and Lance introduced them all, then Lance fell down and Shiro was instantly in attack mode but when he saw two small galra children around Lance’s legs. Lance laughed as Maxie looked amazed and Geoghegan started to jump in excitement. Shiro looked confused and raised an eyebrow to Lance.

Plutox saw and explained how they had adopted them when they had been abandoned because of their disabilities, Shiro then chuckled and then started to interact with the children and then compared their prosthetics and Geoghegan declared that though Shiro’s glowed, his was still better because it had Sholta on it. They wondered into a shop and sat down while they were served with a warm drink. The peace didn’t last long until by some weird coincidence, Keith crashed in through the door and hid down low. He then looked over to where they were sitting and stared as they stared back, confusion over everyone’s faces. 

_It wasn’t as if Keith had gone looking for trouble, he had run into a tall Galra quite literally, he had tried to apologise, he really had. He just wasn’t prepared for their reply._

_“Ian?” She said, he hadn’t heard his father’s name since the case for his father’s murder became as cold as his father was. He was only trying to find a way back to the state building, not this! He knew he had some of his father’s features and most prominently his eyes. All he had from his mother was the softer curves to his face and the colouring of his hair. He wasn’t ready for this conversation and he didn’t want to have it here when he was looking for someone else._

_“I’m sorry, you have the wrong person, he’s dead.” He saw a look in their eyes that he couldn’t quite place and he knew that they might find him again and they were still the only humans outside of Earth, let alone this far out in the universe. He turned and ran and hid in a shop and crouched looking out the window, as he became aware of the stares he also noticed who was staring. There was Lance and Shiro, surrounded by four Galra, two of them fully grown adults. All he could do was stare back unable to move or explain why he was looking suspiciously out of a window in a shop he had burst into._

 

Lance broke the silence with a small chuckle and then a full laugh, he got up and walked over to Keith offering a hand. If he was going to bridge anything with the team, he might as well start out with the intent of friendship with Keith. He was glad when Keith took it, tentative smiles over both their faces. 

“You want to join us? Maxie was telling us about her revenge plan for a kid at her school. Want to help?”

Keith smiled and nodded and when over to join them. Fluro was still against Maxie planning revenge but it was helping Lance fit back in with his old team and he would miss the colourful human, he didn’t want him to leave, he had fit so perfectly into their lives and he had done so much for them. 

Lance felt more at ease around his old team with others around, he knew that if they so much as toed any line that he set he would have someone to back him up. He still had problems with Shiro, scared that it was all a ploy to get him back, he may have felt ready to face them, he wasn’t ready to rejoin them. It didn’t take too long before Keith addressed the elephant in the room.

“Lance can I speak you alone?”

Lance looked to Plutox and Fluro who replied with looks that said they could handle here and that they wouldn’t be far. The two of them moved over to a different table and sat. Lance didn’t think there was much to be said, he was going to be treat Keith with kindness but he didn’t expect it back. His crush was long since gone and he didn’t think he would be able to handle anything from Keith acting like he cared. He was curious though, how had the team got Keith to be so vocal and so good at lying, especially since Keith couldn’t lie for shit when he was on the castle.

“Was everything you said true yesterday?” Keith’s eyes were trained on his face and he didn’t know how to respond, he sounded concerned?

“Keith you can drop the act, you don’t need to act as though you care.”

“Lance you can’t stop me from caring about you anymore. I hurt you and that was not ok! Your comments hurt but if they were true? I want to call you my friend, you weren’t there when we lost allies. We lost them because you weren’t there. I felt it when you weren’t there.”

Lance was confused, this wasn’t the Keith he knew, the Keith he knew would have jumped at the chance to say “I told you” so over something small, would have loved to have said something that would make his life a tiny bit more hellish. 

“Keith, please don’t play those games with me.”

“I’m not, I just want you back in my life. It became unbearable without you. I’m so fucking sorry Lance, if I could change it I would in a heartbeat, notice what you did for me and tell, you. Not let you feel so unwanted and appreciate you, not let that hope go out for me either.” 

Keith looked like he knew he had said to much and looked like he was going to run, Lance caught his arm before he had a chance to move away and he studied Keith’s. Despite his dark and brooding demeanour, he really did wear his heart on his sleeve, the complete opposite to Lance, and he saw the truth in Keith’s eye’s and his expression. He almost looked heart broken and he couldn’t quite place why, but for himself he could forgive Keith, he may never quite forget the feelings he once felt, but feelings like the weather change. He would forgive Keith for himself and move forward knowing that it would be in the past where it belonged. 

“I forgive you Keith.”

 

Keith thought he had heard incorrectly, Lance’s voice was still pained and he could have sworn that it wasn’t a fluke or him just saying it.

“Lance, please dont.”

“Don’t what?”

“Play those games with me either. Please just hear me out.”

“Why? I said I forgive you.”

Keith didn’t know what to do, he looked at his hands then at Lance and then his hands again, he hoped that what he would say next wouldn’t break the tentative bonds they had started to reform.

“Can I spend time with you? I want to be friends if I can.”

Lance smiled a small smile after looking back towards the table the Galra were on who seemed to be encouraging him. 

“Thanks all I ever wanted.”

 

His heart of tungsten carbide was still as strong as the day he was born and the day Ana told him. It was still as heat resistant as the day he left the Earth in Blue as it had become malleable for her only, but it still survived the flames of war. His heart of tungsten carbide saw him through and he had come out the other end, maybe a bit more damaged than before but he would stay standing strong. 

 

The Tsunami crashed into everything on land and it destroyed everything within seconds, the wave engulfed everything in its path and could be seen for miles and it travelled inland for miles. It was strong and fierce and it couldn’t be stopped. It took months for the water to settle and recede, life started to regrow, people who survived came back to the beaches and rebuilt, better than before and with an appreciation for the depth and the destruction for the ocean before them. It gave them life but it also could destroy them under the right circumstances. The tsunami had passed but the after effects were still felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this is is i guess,
> 
> thank you for your comments, kudos and reads!!! I really hope this lived up and this isnt a popular fic but thank you for taking the time to read it nonetheless. 
> 
> life is still shitty but what can i do about it?


	11. I'm Eating My Insides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance emotes and a plan is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is late - life got in the way like majorly. i thought shit was bad before but now.... fuuuuuuckkkkk. like life is majorly fucked up rn and my sorry excuse for a life is literally work and my bedroom. 
> 
> this does have scenes that may cause issues so if you dont want to read stop at "you know me to be true to my word" and restart at "Lance turned to Cairn" as its torture and some implied sexual stuff - im not sure how to put it.
> 
> i am working on the update for the irony of it all as well so yeahhhh, sorry.

When Lance got home he felt pissed off. He wouldn’t show it to them, but why did they think an apology and a half hearted confession of “I don’t actually hate you” was enough. He had endured so much. His outburst back on the castle didn’t encompass all that he wanted to say, he tried to see the good in everyone and be the person his family knew him to be. But the team made it so hard. He wouldn’t have left Shiro in the middle of the panic attack but they came down onto his home, they thought they could make it better. If they paid attention they would have known this was the worst thing to do, to invade his home and treat it like it was the castle. It didn’t escape his notice though how Shiro never protested or asked him how he was or anything like that. It was like old times, Lance helping those because he could. It was nice to be noticed and indeed he had hugged back but there was so much left to cover. The obvious dismissals and how he only ever had Shiro’s disregard, the favouritism didn’t end as he still seemed more concerned as to why Keith flew into a shop and hid than Lance. 

On some level, Lance thought and hoped that they may have realised and thought that they were changing but they looked at him and the only one who did was Keith. But that was because of Hunk, the only one who knew of his old feelings towards Lance. What did he expect? It was from someone who read someone else’s private things without remorse and who highlighted something about someone that they were sensitive about. Calling Keith Galra Keith? Like that was acceptable, Lance let Keith have space to figure it out and offered a shoulder if it was wanted but to go to that?

He then looked back to his time on Crona and Hunks reaction to his actions will under the Baku’s influence, he hadn’t even fully apologised. It was a terrifying thing seeing his best friend tried to murder him. It made Lance reflect on whether or not they were true friends or just friends of convenience, and the more he thought about it, the more he thought that their supposed friendship only ever benefitted Hunk.  
Plutox and Fluro were giving him the space he wanted but it wasn’t enough, he needed something more and the small house just wasn’t big enough.

_Sweet one, my dear sweet one. You are more than what they think, the princess may only see you as my paladin but I would choose you over and over again even if the person who had all the answers to this war was meant to instead. You have heart Lance, you have so much heart in a war that you had no choice in but decided to help because people suffered._

_They have wronged you but you didn’t let them win, I saw you in the Garrison and saw the leader you were and the leader you are in the Alliance. You may be made of tungsten but even tungsten can shine when polished and on display, when looked after and cherished._

“Thanks Blue.”

Lance walked out into the night and climbed into Blue who flew out of the capital and out into the mountains, where they sat down in the rain and felt it calm him down better than anything he had experienced in space. It didn’t matter that he was crying or that a giant sentient metal lion was nudging him and trying to comfort the tiny human beside her. His life had changed so dramatically since she found him and though he wouldn’t change meeting Blue for the entire universe, he would instantly change what he was flung into and flown Blue back to Earth, taken his family and found some habitable planet. 

Soon enough the clouds parted and the five moons shone down onto the surface and Lance looked back up into the skies and he started to mumble lyrics, they weren’t anything but it comforted him when he needed it. He wasn’t the best singer, that was left for Heather, but he could hold a tune. 

 

Can you hear them calling?  
Oh, they’re calling out tonight  
Now the skies are burning  
Oh, they burn so bright  
We shiver as we step into the cold, cold night  
Then we’re running, we are running now

I hear them calling me, I hear them whispering  
They’re singing: “Now we are coming home”  
I hear them calling me, I hear them howling  
Singing: “Now we are coming home”

 

Blue looked into his mind and saw all the songs that were going through his mind and how he felt and her heart went out to him. He was so alone in the universe and though the family he had found was there, it wasn’t his first family, the one she had taken him from. Guilt ran through her as she looked down at Lance and nudged him gently with her snout and curled up around him and he planted himself in the crook of one of her claws. The song Lance was singing changed and if Blue thought her heart couldn’t stretch more for her paladin she was wrong.

 

So I look to the world outside oh  
All of a sudden, I’m eating my insides  
The tiny words that break your heart  
They’re breaking and entering  
So I look but you’re not by my side  
Whatever happened to ‘I would rather die’?  
The things that make you fall apart  
They’re breaking and entering

And I never said I was right  
Well I’m probably the one in the wrong  
The voices are telling me I just can’t always be this strong  
And nothing feels right not right now  
Like I’ve lost my mind somehow  
I’m scaring myself

I’m burning up, I don’t recognise the girl in the mirror now…

 

Then Lance flung himself into one that she knew he sang to himself when it was bad, when all he wanted to do was be the person he portrayed himself as. Not the person underneath all the bravado and be happy again. It had been a long time for him since he had been back to Earth but he didn’t forget it nor the music that he listened to every night to make sure he fell asleep.

 

Couldn't relax, couldn't sit back  
And let the sunlight in my lap  
I sang a hymn to bring me peace  
And then it came, a melody

It felt so sweet, it felt so strong  
It made me feel like I belonged  
And all the sadness inside me  
Melted away like I was free

I found what I'd been looking for in myself  
Found a life worth living for someone else  
Never thought that I could be, I could be  
Happy, happy

Don't go out much at all  
I've never been the type to call  
I realize to be happy  
Maybe I need a little company

So now you know, you know it all  
That I've been desperately alone  
I haven't found the one for me  
But I believe in divinity

 

Lance had never found this song more apt than his situation now, so desperately wanted it to be true, that he would one day find something to help him through all this. He was nineteen, or was he twenty or even past it now? he didn’t know nor did he care any longer, he just wanted his own family and his siblings and his parents. He wanted Ceilidhs in the highlands and massive parties back on Veradero beach. 

 

I found what I'd been looking for in myself  
Found a life worth living for someone else  
Never thought that I could be, I could be  
Happy, happy

I believe in possibility  
I believe someone's watching over me  
And finally I have found a way to be  
Happy, happy

From the concrete to the coast  
I was looking for a Holy Ghost  
Like the land joining the sea  
Happiness, it followed me

I believe in possibility  
I believe someone's watching over me  
And finally I have found a way to be  
Happy, happy, happy

 

Lance wanted to be happy and he knew one day he would be at that point but one day wasn’t good enough or soon enough. It was needed now. He was sick of being treated the way his team were treating him or intruding on another family. He wanted to fully belong once more and the only place he knew he would be with his family. He may have changed but they’re family and no matter what had happened in his, he knew they would stay by each other. When one aunt had a massive stroke, they all chipped in for the medical care costs and still help with her when they can. They all learned how to sign when it turned out a cousin had under developed vocal chords. They knew how to deal with PTSD in the family and he knew they would be close together when he left the Earth. 

He slept under the stars in Blue’s paw until the two suns rose and he headed towards the state building. When he arrived and Blue settled in a force field, he was greeted by Cairn. That in itself was not unusual, he was usually greeted by high level leaders of various resistances asking for his help or giving him updates on situations and their thanks. Occasionally he was asked to lead teams into space for whatever reason – either for reconnaissance or to fight off Galra warships from one of their decoy moons. 

“Lance, good to see your safe. Can you come with me? Barra and I want to hear your opinions on something.”

Lance followed Cairn inside and they walked to the room which was a few floors above. Cairn broke the silence that Lance found himself in.

“What do we do with your fellow paladins, are they a threat to the safety of Versi?” Cairn was the spymaster and of course needed to know. “What is your opinion on how to proceed with them?”

Lance thought hard and decided.

“I think we can allow them access to the surface but they have to be monitored. They will follow our laws and stay the hell away from me and Blue. I believe Coran and  
Keith, the red paladin, are more likely to respond in a positive light but the others will not be happy. They should not be informed of the Alliance and I believe if you do want one person to know its Coran.”

“That’s very diplomatic of you Lance. Are you ok after what happened on the ship? Plutox briefed us on what happened after we left and apparently you ran into two of them yesterday?”

“I am still angry as hell but it won’t cloud my judgement, I know how to not let emotions interfere with things. I still don’t trust them and they seem to only care about themselves still. Yes they mean well but… I don’t know, I can see through it.” 

“Thank you. You’ve confirmed something for me. That they really didn’t care apart from the one with dark hair…”

“Keith”

“Yes, he was the only one that showed any emotion to your wellbeing in that meeting. I do not trust them.”

They walked the last floor in a semi awkward silence and entered Cairns office where Barra sat in one of the leather chairs. He took the one by him and Cairn sat on the other side of the desk and pulled up a holo. Lance looked at it and amazement. It was Earth. 

“We have received word that Lotor is trying to lure you out by gunning for Earth. We are closer as we are only a few systems over from your home galaxy.”  
Cairn then drew up another holo and let it play. It was one of the Galra feeds that the Alliance had archived as evidence. 

“This goes out to the Blue Paladin of Voltron, consider this your final warning. Earth will be destroyed whether or not you hand yourself over. But it can be done peacefully if you turn yourself over and face the fate you have been given or it will be brutal and long if you try to fight. You know me to be true to my word.”

_Lance was chained to the board as the electricity when through him and Lotor was standing over him with that wicked knife poised to cut into his skin and muscle once again. A druid was nearby to inflict the magic to reveal his darkest fears and to inject the liquid metal back into his system._

_“If you don’t speak I promise it would be so much worse,” Lotor whispered into his ear, it was after his outburst at Lotor and all that damn almost flirting._

_Lance kept his mouth shut and struggled to hold in the scream that came as the knife cut through a tendon in his leg._

_“You bet your pretty face I ain’t saying a thing. Am I the only one who isn’t struck by your beauty? Maybe it’s because I wake up to this gorgeous face every day.”_

_“As pretty as it might be my pet, it doesn’t give me as much pleasure as me seeing it scream.”_

_Lotor then nodded towards the druid and Lance’s eyes opened in fear as the jet of Black rushed towards him and as it hit, electricity surged through his body once more and he felt Lotor’s knives. Images streamed through his head: Earth; his family, the team, Hunk, Coran, Keith, all the people he had been talking with. The memories of Earth and his family coming up so often. They were looking for a weak point and they found it. the druid then showed each of his family members being tortured in the most horrific of ways, a fair few Lance himself had experienced. Then they were all killed slowly and mercilessly by Lotor as he dismembered them and worse. Lance was screaming until Lotor caressed him._

_“This would all stop if you just joined me. You are right, you do have a beautiful face, one many people do not appreciate. Your team don’t care about you and your family think you are dead. Leave them behind and show them what you truly are. Be my Prince.” Lotor breathed into his ear as if he were talking to a lover. Lance shivered as the pain ebbed away and Lotor started to caress his head and move his damp hair from his forehead. Lotor tipped up Lance’s head and stared into his eyes. Brilliant blue met the deep brown against yellow, and Lotor even looked as if he would follow through._

_It was a way out, Lance thought, he could plan from there even if it did mean he became the Prince’s Whore. But then sense hit him and knew Lotor would never let him escape and whatever was happening to him now wouldn’t be as bad as what would befall him if he accepted. But Lotor wouldn’t need to know that just yet, there was still a chance of escape and information._

_“How do I know if you’ll keep to that promise?”_

_“I am a man of my word, such as if you do agree, you will be treated with respect and you will have all you ever wanted, attention and praise, you will see the stars in a way you could only dream of. But I can also promise that if you don’t, everything will be worse.”_

_Lance headbutted the galran prince and hissed “As if I’d betray my family like that you bastard.” <_

_“Well then, you have decided your fate.” Lotor when went for a club and broke Lance’s tibia and some bones in his foot. After an hour of broken bones and resetting them, Lance was injected with the metal and left to burn from the inside out._

_True to his word, Lotor’s attack on him became more violent and the psychological elements became more frequent and awful. Lance yelled and laughed, swearing vengeance. After all, like Lotor, Lance kept his promises to the very bitter end._

Lance turned to Cairn looking away from the holo. 

“How far away is he from Earth?”

“The other side of the universe literally. The Galra don’t have worm hole technology and we can be there and mount a defense before they even move three galaxies. We sent them a wild goose chase with them following a fake signal we cloned of Blue.”

“Then I may have a plan. Its big and risky but we have myths and legends and maybe its time to bring Voltron into the loop, not the paladins or Allura but there is one who would be accepting of this. Coran. Let me talk to him and assemble some of the allies and friends I have and we start to get everyone to The Delta 156-67 galaxy as soon as possible.”

“Shall I send down spies to Earth to start to alert people, hint at things and cause a sense of unease?” asked Cairn.

“Yes, there are many at the Garrison who would belive this and they’d be best to start, as well as the international governments too. They all need to be prepared.”

“Lance,” Barra said, “You’ll be heading this and working with the leaders as our presence will only scare them in person. We need this to work and if we have the earths help then all the better. I’ve seen what your teams do and they out think the Galra.”

Lance smiled, “I come from a death planet where half our discoveries were scientists being lazy or going fuck it lets see what it does or what else can we find. The other half was trying to find out what the hell is the universe, how everything works and how to improve every day.”

Cairn and Barra laughed and they listened to Lance’s full plan it took half a day with diagrams being drawn up and points refined and then a meeting was called. Lance presented the plan to the rest of the leaders who then worked on it, changing areas and trying to find each species strengths and weaknesses. Trying to cover for each other while leaving room for improvisations and if the human race was to fight alongside them, room for human ingenuity and determination. Back up plans and contingency plans were made and they progressed as far as they could. Lance just needed to convince them that Voltron could be used effectively here and would benefit them all. 

There were many protests and he saw former allies of Voltron who had joined the IA, they couldn’t work as a team or that it was too unstable or the fact that they had become close minded and reckless. It made Lance think, and he explained his plan to talk to Coran first and worm his way back in and make them work. It would be a cold way of handling the situation and in the past he may have decided that fighting another day would be better but this needed to be a final stand and need an entire universe to work. 

The leaders then voted in favour of going with Lances plans and agreed to make their way in the Cascadia system in which Versi was in – many had figured out how to travel at what Lance would call warp speed and hidden it from the Galra. It was easy to slip through the cracks when it was a universe to look at constantly, one a few among billions and others were close enough. Planets that didn’t provide man power supplied them codes and gear and designs. It would be the final battle and the freedom of the universe. He breathed in deeply and with everyone staring at him, he hailed the Castle of Lions and saw a familiar ginger moustache grace the screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got a chapter out it at least? also there is a wonderful commission from the wonderful [ Sillinae](http://sillinae.tumblr.com/) ! Go check them out and i'll be posting a link to it when it is finished - it looks so good already and their art work is gorgeous!!!! 
> 
> songs reference were Greta Salome [Hear them calling](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6osxLLPLUDk)  
> Tonight Alive [Breaking and Entering](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dc6lhFWhofA)  
> Marina and the diamonds [Happy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6AHxF0s764)
> 
> sorry about my shitty life getting in the way of all this and to keep you waiting, and i know it isnt as long as the others and i apologise for that too.
> 
> hope you enjoyed readin it :D


	12. Of Ginger Moustaches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Coran have a heart to heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god its another short one but damn i needed to stop somewhere where it made sense. im sorry!!!!!

Lance’s departure, voluntary or not, had been hell. Coran was picking up the pieces for everyone, working himself to the bone when no one else would offer their help or listen to him ramble. He had learnt a lot about Lance in that time too. Not much on his personal life but how to read him, Coran didn’t know how to comfort him but he hoped the presence he could give him was enough. He had tried to bond with the other paladins but they didn’t give him the time of day, and neither did Allura, she only saw him in his role of advisor, but he had become so much more when Alfor had shoved him in the cryopods. 

Allura was strong headed and raised to rule but she was still young and didn’t have all the experience that she needed to fight this war, and the one that raged inside her. For her need for vengeance and the safety of others before herself. She worked herself into oblivion and barely interacted with her paladins, even before the corrupted wormhole incident. But she was still as young as they were and Coran was the only one who was fully used to the war that had raged. 

He looked back to his time on Altea, how they had become what they were and how the Galra/Altea partnership took such a turn south. It was a massive fall out over how to control the areas of space which seemed to consume quintessence and other such matters. It was all small aggressions on both parts, each of them becoming more and more hateful towards each other until Alfor tried to direct Voltron in a way that Zarkon didn’t believe in and lost it. Alfor and Coran knew that Zarkon was dabbling in the dark magic of the druids and disagreed with their use in Voltron. Zarkon’s mind had been warped and after ten thousand years of use, Coran wouldn’t be surprised if there was nothing of the original man he one knew. He longed to see the glistening cities of Altea and the red snow capped mountains of Galra once again. They were sister planets in the same orbit just one always out of sight on the other side of the sun. He missed his entire family that he left behind and had hoped that the people who had woken them would eventually fit right back in but only one seemed to care. He had saved his life and though they didn’t talk about that day, Coran was grateful that Lance saw something in him that was worth saving. 

It wasn’t unusual for Coran to be doing maintenance in the control room while the other inhabitants of the castle were off doing their own thing or sleeping. Coran had long ago given up on sleep as the faces of his past visited in his dreams, they weren’t nightmares but he woke up with a planet shattering sadness that he couldn’t fill. So when he heard the call for a hail request, he opened it up not expecting much but then stared as he saw Lance in full view. There were the two other diplomats behind him but Lance was contacting them?

“I’ll get the paladins and Allura if you want.”

“No, Coran, it’s you we want.” Lance smiled at him in a way that reminded him of the fresh faced boy that stepped on to Arus, his time away from the castle seemed to have done him worlds of good, despite the suffering he had endured – from them and the galra – to get that glint back in his eyes. 

Coran stood still and was unsure of what to do, he was only an advisor in Allura’s eyes and the other people on the castle certainly didn’t care about him. No one listened to him when he came across a galra transmission with Lance in it when the younger three had tried to look at the cosmic chatter. Allura couldn’t be persuaded to do anything and he was left to hope that Lance had escaped and was safe with no one to help him. 

“Coran?”

“Hm? Oh yes, please continue.”

“You able to come down to the surface?”

“No one will miss me,” Coran saw Lance flinch at that and wondered why he reacted like that. His speech to them showed them all how much he didn’t like them anymore. 

“If so, can you meet me at the air lock ten on deck five section one four five?”

“Consider it done.” Coran didn’t know why he agreed but there was a vague inkling at the back of his mind that it would do more good than harm. 

It didn’t take him long to get to the air lock, roughly five clicks at his guess, and he looked over and saw Lance in clothes he didn’t recognise but they didn’t cover Lance himself, the way he held himself as he waited in the air lock. Sweet recognisable Lance whose entire demeanour permeated into everyone else. Coran smiled and opened up the air lock and took a step in, Blue’s force field kept the gases from escaping and themselves into the vacuum of space. He thought he saw Lance’s face light up at him but he convinced himself it was just the lighting. He had heard what Lance had said about him and it hurt. It was true but he really did want to do right by Lance.

Then Lance surprised him, he took a step forward and quickly broke into a run and he felt Lance’s arms around him. Coran was stunned and eventually closed his own arms around Lance and he breathed in Lance, smelling like a thunderstorm on the sea. When Lance pulled away a massive smile appeared and it looked like tears started to well in his eyes. Coran had missed Lance and he was glad to see that he was indeed alive and not back on the feeds being beaten into submission in the gilded hall on a space ship in a far-off galaxy.

It had been too long since he had stepped in a lion, but he used to be one of Blue’s mechanics for her old paladin and he felt a familiar presence that he couldn’t quite place. Coran had become a jack of all trades round the castle and he forgot how much he had missed them both. 

Lance shuffled in the pilots seat.

“I’m sorry Coran, I shouldn’t have said those things to you. You do literally everything on that ship and no one to help you and I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was angry and hurt but that didn’t mean I had to hurt you in return. You were the closest thing to family I had on the ship and I still do call you family, even if you are the weird but awesome uncle. I’m so sorry,” Lance said, not even babbling but entirely serious. 

Coran looked down at the Blue Paladin in all his glory, and he felt a tear fall down his cheek and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You were always forgiven, Lance. You went through so much and though it didn’t make it right it helps to understand why. You are also family too Lance and family sticks together.

“I’m also sorry for not checking up on you after that bomb went off, there was so much going on and Having to maintain the castle, advise Allura and keep on top of everything, a lot fell through the cracks, I’m sorry one of those was you. You didn’t deserve it. 

“When the Castle got you distress call it was after you left and then when Hunk found the damage you caused to the galra ships I tried everything I could to find you. I eventually found the galra feeds and I saw you being beaten and no one was listening so I held out my hope and wanted you back here and safe so desperately.”

“Coran… I… thank you. Thank you so much. You tried, that’s all I wanted, you cared when I first went missing and you tried even if everyone else didn’t listen. Blue, can you fly us down for a sec?”

Lance climbed out of his seat and pulled in Coran for a hug so fierce he was sure he was crushing some of Coran’s bones. 

_Coran, Coran, the gorgeous man!_ Blue hummed in Lance’s mind and laughed into Corans shoulder. 

“Blue is happy to see you. Why is that? Also I have so much to show you and you’ll never guess who ive found and what ive done and oh my god I sooooo need you to meet people!” Lance exclaimed, he dragged Coran to Blue’s control panel and his hand flew as he tried to get Crona up on the screens and began to explain what happened after from when Coran last saw him on the feeds. While he was doing so, Coran said what had happened on their end.

“…So when you saw me in the delegation, I had really only just started to accept what had happened to me and getting back on track, guess I have some stories of my own now.” Lance had managed to avoid a panic attack as he briefly listed how he was tortured but he didn’t falter. He felt Coran ruffle his hair and glad to hear the genuine praise that fell on his ears. “You are so brave, braver than some of the old paladins I knew, and if anyone makes you doubt your role as the Blue Paladin, know that no one has a bigger or stronger heart that you do,” “My sister Anna always said that it wasn’t made of gold, that it was soft and easily manipulated and far too common. That it was made of Tungsten – an element that is only found in two countries on Earth; China and the United Kingdom in one specific area,”

“I know that element, there’s a fair amount in the teleduv and engines, it suits you, you’re just like it. Unbreakable,”

“Thank you Coran,” a sensor beeped on the control panel and they were only a few hundred metres above the city, “we are landing in a few ticks, and we have something to explain to you. I missed out dome critical details, and its something that needs to be done on the planet in the state building in the capital.”

Coran looked puzzled but Lance ignored it in favour of landing Blue safely on the deck that had been constructed for her, including a giant ball on a rope to paw. 

“Before we go inside, there’s something I’d like you to know. I trust this with you with my life and the fate of everyone in the universe. So I’m sorry for keeping this from you for so long.” He opened the doors and entered the cabinet room and the room went silent and most of the people on holograms and in the room stood up, and they all then made their own gesture of respect to Lance. Lance in turn placed his hand on his heart and gave a small bow and took his seat, Coran placed beside him. 

Uncertainly, Coran gave them an Altean gesture of respect and sat down. Barra addressed Lance and Coran bringing them up to speed. 

“Coran, welcome to the Interplanetary Alliance,” many faces looked at Coran and he recognised some of those who left when they had asked for aid, and he swore he could see a few Blades sat further down at the table. 

“There are many forces that make this group and any who oppose the Galra are welcome. We believe you out of those who live on the Castle of Lions to be the most accepting and the most likely to listen. We only become fully organised and mobile one hundred pheebs ago, and though we have been liberating planets and saving as many as we can that entire time, we have not had the resources to mount a full scale battle. But Voltron gave the universe hope and people found us and we grew even bigger and these are the people in the surrounding galaxies who can help Earth, there are many more beyond us here today.”

There were already a hundred people around this table he knew the universe was large but this was unprecedented, there couldn’t be this many not unless they were close to ending it. 

“Earth? The paladin’s home planet?”

“They’re in trouble because of me,” Lance said in a small voice. “Lotor is doing something because of me.”

Lance hated feeling shit again but it was true, he angered Lotor in a bid to escape and he had only made it worse. He should have acted. He lost himself in his thoughts and beating himself up about what he should have done better and his selfishness while Barra and Cairn gave a run down of the finalised plan to mount a defence on Earth. He was brought out of his mind when Blue sent a wave of disappointment through him.

“I don’t think I will be able to convince Allura to do this. In a final battle to defeat the galra once and for all then yes I could but,” he sighed, “she hasn’t been listening to me at all for a while now, I know the paladins would want to help and I could get them there. I can try, it’s the least I can do and I could get the Castle of Lions there as a support and back up or as a lure..” His voice trailed off into silence. 

“if this doesn’t work out, can the Castle be a defence for Versi as most of its forces will be defending Earth. I’ll be there on the battle field as this is my fault.”

“But Lance,”

“Barra, you wanted me to head this and we can make this work it also means we could set a trap, use my ally to their best advantage and it gives us time to dent the galran forces and organise. We don’t want a power vacuum and the Galra are all but in every pocket of the universe and we need all their forces in one place. We use the Earth as a message and maybe gain more resistances, we get the entire galra forces and then we win.”

“Barra, he has a point. There is too little we can do and us here is enough, in a massive battle we can have everyone and it will give us time to convince the Castle of Lions. I can place spies on board and the Earth now know something is wrong,” Cairn added. 

All eyes looked to Barra and Lance as they made a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a bit of a filler chapter but i need to set up the next one and this was the only sensible place to stop....the next one is the entire action for earth and may take a bit longer so about a week, sorry!!!!
> 
> life is still shit but i have a new bed so hopefully i will sleep for more than an hour.


	13. Facing Fear With No Fear On My Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance gets into trouble multiple times and the unexpected happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> life is still shit but eeehhhh. I'm still a piece of shit but I dont have a right to complain but at least the chapter got done right?
> 
> ALSO IT NOW HAS FANART!!!!! By the wonderful [Triggeringangel on tumblr!](http://triggeringangel.tumblr.com/post/162585114057/ok-but-like-you-guys-need-to-read-the-storm-or/) Please go support them and give them all the praise they deserve!!!!
> 
> but enjoy this 5.6k chapter!!

Lance braced himself as he stood in front of the camera and was flanked by the most human like species in the resistance. They had hacked into the entire planets communication systems; the radios, the internet and televisions. Anything with a screen and or audio it was now theirs. Lance checked himself before he got the all clear and the light on the camera changed from red to green.

“Fellow people of Earth, my name is Lance McClain and two Earth years ago I left the Earth in a robotic Blue Lion form the deserts where the US branch of Galaxy Garrison is based. I have been part of an intergalactic team named Voltron and I stand here on behalf of the Interplanetary Alliance. The Earth has come to the attention of a threat that has plagued the universe for the last ten thousand years. We are sending all necessary information to the current governments and openly available on the internet. Myself with the other leaders of multiple resistances request a meeting with the designated world leaders within two Earth days as this is a matter of importance and the fate of the entire Earth.

“We will bring no weapons, and only wish to protect my home, my family and everyone who lives on this wonderful planet. I implore the world leaders to agree to this meeting as we will defend the Earth with or without your help. I will defend my home. 

“Thank you all for listening and please, let this be the start of something great.”

The camera turned off and Lance looked towards Barra and Cairn, who were nodding and smiling.

“Just like we rehearsed.” Cairn said to Lance and sent some of her spies down to the Earth. They were a species of shape shifters and with Lance’s help would be able to blend in and shift the tides in their favour if need be. 

They had entered the milky way only a few hours ago and were fast approaching the Lance’s home solar system, they had bought Plutox and other leaders based on Versi on their battle ships and were all meeting up on the edge of the first spiral arm before heading to the system. There were already fifty ships by his count already waiting, they had twenty more vargas to wait for everyone before they made their way to Earth.

Lance sighed and left the room and made his way back to the bunk he shared with Plutox. He slumped against the wall and sighed. Despite Coran’s tries, no one was listening to him and they had to leave the castle to defend Versi with it’s own ground to air missiles and defence systems. He felt such resentment to Team Voltron who, according to Coran, were trying to find ways to make it up to Lance and convince him that they had changed and to have him back even though it was plain for anyone to understand that all Lance wanted was to be treated right and not something to win back. 

He was right when he first saw them again, he was ready to see them but not to join them again. They had been living close quarters for too long and it was only a matter of time before something happened. In one respect Lance was glad it was him as he now had so much he had found and far more than he had ever hoped for when he left Earth. 

He must have sat there for a few vargas in his own thoughts as Plutox soon entered in the room and flumped down on his bed and let out an annoyed groan. He must have been dealing with the Nansai people again, they were a species who took everything rather literally but were excellent fighters. They also tended to be test Plutox’s patience, especially since they were sharing the same battle ship. It had been decided that there wouldn’t just be one species on each ship as it left too many weaknesses and it would be best to spread out as it would minimalise loses on each species. They had most situations thought out and they hoped it would be enough.

“Lance, you ok?” Was his internal angst that obvious?

“Yeah I guess, I just don’t want all these people dying for Earth and me. Its all my fault in the first place and they all have families and everything.”

“Lance, he would have come for Earth soon enough and these people want to be here, they want to help, and you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t care about them.” He tugged Lance over to him and gave him a hug that Lance desperately needed. He murmured reassurances into his ear that any who were against the empire would not be on the ships and that the crews would be taken away before the battle would hit them. That word had been sent out for all those who would listen. He just hoped it was enough. He eventually fell asleep and though he dreamed of his time on Lotor’s ship he didn’t wake, when he did they were on the move, heading towards Earth. To his home and to his family. 

 

Coran had his hands full back on the castle, Allura was fuming as the planets leaders had vanished seemingly overnight and left them with a duty to protect it without consulting them. Nothing he had tried was able to quench her anger and she really did need a reality check and to not be so stuck in her own mind. He was getting increasingly close to yelling at her himself though every time she took a step forward she then made two steps backwards. Lance was right when he said that Allura let stress and duty cloud her judgement and it effected her interactions with the paladins and everyone else. It was starting to wear thin too. 

He was surprised though when Keith approached him. Out of all the people Keith was the one he interacted with the least. 

“Something big is happening isn’t it? Red’s saying she can feel something, something big. She felt Blue too, they all did. We were talking while I was working on her and she sat straight up. Allura is refusing to see me after me defying her so much and you were missing for a while.”

Coran sighed, what was he going to say?

“You’re right. Lance and Blue were here, to pick me up. They took me down on to Versi to talk with them. They wanted out help and I tried but no one listened. The Earth is in trouble, as in Lotor mass extinction level of trouble.”

Keith’s face froze in horror and saw him realise exactly what Lance would be doing. 

“Shit.” 

He ran off leaving Coran a man down and a lot of explaining to do. 

Keith meanwhile ran towards his room and grabbed his armour, and ran straight into Red, he could change while he flew. 

“Red, How far are we to Earth.”

_Less than three lightyears, would only take us a varga or two if we go at top speed._

“You able to fight afterwards?”

_No?_

“Then go as fast as you can while maintaining system integrity. We have to help Lance and Blue, I’m not leaving him on his own again.”

He felt a surge of pride flow through him as Red roared and opened yet another hole in the hangar wall. They flew off into space. The closer they got to Earth the more ships they saw head in their direction. He just hoped he want too late to help Lance, if those were ally ships then something was going on deeper than he had previously understood but if they were aligned with Lotor? Well, they hadn’t tried to attack him yet he just had to hold tight and hope for the best. He still had a few varga’s travel to go. He changed into his suit and tried to communicate with Lance while Red tried to alert Blue of their presence. 

 

He twenty vargas had passed and Lance was at the helm, guiding them towards Earth. They hailed on all channels and it was opened to a room full of people.

“This is the Interplanetary Alliance? This is Vanessa Drury, one of the elected representatives for Earth.”

“Lance McClain, Paladin of Voltron and current representative on behalf of Earth, though this can be changed if it is deemed fit. Have you come to a decision?”

“We are in neutral territory on Earth, we have picked up multiple signals in our solar system please confirm this is you?”

“Yes, fifty two ships in currently with more to come.”

“Then yes, we will meet with you and discuss what happens next, we want to help defend ourselves. We are located in Geneva, Switzerland and our co-ordinates are 46.2044° N, 6.1432° E. Can you be down on Earth in three hours?”

“Yes, there will be a delegation of ten leaders, most non humanoid.”

The woman on the screen gave a curt nod and turned off the communications on their end. Lance’s shoulders slumped, then something on the scanners caught his eye, a fast moving blip on the screen with a signal he recognised. Red. Just what he needed, hot headed Keith throwing the spanner in the works. Lance groaned and went to the hangar that Barra had directed Keith to land in. 

He may have forgiven Keith for some of his actions but to come here? Keith had made it clear he didn’t care much about Earth, and why would he come over to help him? All interactions bar that one small one on Versi had been so damn negative and what would happen if he did want to engage the galra? Would he even listen?

Keith landed and the doors to the hangar closed, he saw Blue to one side and he felt the wordless joy and happiness from Red permeate his mind as the two sisters were reunited. As soon as he got out of Red, she leapt over to Blue and ended up practically slumped over her. They really were cats, he mused, they really had the right idea when it came to physical contact. Just a massive pile of weight for maximum physical contact in a massive pile up. He saw the doors open and Lance standing in his paladin armour. He ran towards him. Then he stopped, he saw the look on Lance’s face. Stone cold hatred. 

“Lance?” He eeked out, he was nervous. He had thought they had got past that when he apologised and said he would prove to Lance that he meant every word. But then again actions speak louder than words.

“What are you doing here? You don’t even care about the Earth.”

Wow, that hurt. 

“I came to help, I thought I could!”

“But you don’t even follow orders, what makes you think you could help.”

“Be a distraction! I don’t know! I just wanted to be by your side for this fight!” Emotion rose up inside him and he could swear his voice betrayed him. “Why would I when I still remember everything you’ve said to me, how do I know you wont do that again?”

So Lance may forgive but he would never forget, a trait he had not anticipated but it must have stemmed from being used for his kindness and what makes him Lance. 

“I’m here aren’t I? I came because I’m not leaving you alone again!”

“But guess what? I’m not alone, I was alone on the castle. I was alone when you all left me to die and not give a flying fuck about me. That was when I was alone. I have a family again and I have a place in the universe. You are just my past now.”

If Keith thought he could be hurt anymore, that really did it. He heard two loud growls in the back ground and he ran from the hangar. He didn’t know where he was going but he needed to be as far away from him as possible. 

He wasn’t looking where he was going and ran into a solid wall of muscle and looked up. He saw deep purple robes and a tunic then he saw their face. _Her_ face. 

“We need to stop meeting like this ‘Not Ian’,” she smiled at him and offered and arm up. “What is your name.”

“Keith, Keith Kogane.” 

He looked to her face and saw it was in shock, it was like she knew him, but how could that be? He then started to piece things together, how she had mistaken him for his dad and how she knew his name and what he looked like.

“Keith?” he quickly nodded. “You’re from Earth right?” Another nod. “I don’t mean to alarm you but you’re my son. You’re alive! How did this happen? What happened to Ian, what happened when I left?” Concern was etched in her face as she knelt slightly to embrace him. She stood a good foot above Keith and her raven hair ended at her shoulders, tears appearing in her golden eyes. 

“Mum?” His voice trembled, he never in a million years expected this.

“Yes, yes my sweet. I never forgot you”

“Mum,” and he embraced her in a hug, something he hadn’t done in so many years. Not in a way that a family member would, he had missed it beyond compare and he hoped that this would be enough. She picked him up easily and carried him to a small unoccupied room. She sat down opposite him and stared at a particular spot on the wall.

“I’m so sorry I had to leave. I crashed on Earth and your father was the first to meet me, he didn’t run or hide he just looked at me and saw something inside, beyond all this purple and the fluffy ears.

“He helped me get back to full health and we had you, you were so small and perfect,” she pulled out a small locket and opened it to show a small Earthen photo of his Dad, his mum and himself as a baby. 

“But the war carried on and I had to leave, I spent two perfect years with you two and it broke my heart to leave you but I always wanted to come back but the Blade of Mamora needed me to finish this mission. I got captured but after I escaped I found myself in the care of those in on Versi. I couldn’t talk to the Blades anymore and my blade was with you and Ian on Earth. Then you appeared in the sky and I became the Blade’s representative on Versi.”

“So that’s what they meant…” He mused to himself.

“Yes, we were going to set up a meeting when all this was over, but I’m glad I got to find you earlier. But, why were you running?” 

“Lance,” he mumbled as he tried to figure out exactly what he was feeling, but it felt awful. If this was what Lance had felt, he could only imagine what it would feel like for months. But that didn’t mean he would stand for it.

“Lance said things that, while he was entitled to say, hurt.” He started, still unsure how he was trying to vocalise the feelings he mostly tried to ignore.   
“He’s been through a lot, but that does not excuse behaviour that hurts another person.”

“I think this goes for the both of us really, I didn’t give him much reason to think otherwise…” He trailed into silence while he felt his mother’s stare on him.  
“Then you give him those reasons. Make sure he apologies and means it, but make sure it only goes up from here.”

_“Neela, two vargas left, please be prepared for joining Plutox to go to Earth.”_ came a crackly voice over some communication device, breaking the moment.

“Thank you Mum, I want to keep talking when you get back.”

“So do I my little kit,” she kissed his head and got up leaving Keith to ponder what he would do next.

 

Lance knew he had fucked up, he saw Keith’s face contort in pain as he pushed past him and left, he heard the growls from both Blue and Red and the disappointment fill him from Blue. He felt angry at himself for letting it get the better of him when it shouldn’t have happened. He may forgive but he had learnt the hard way to never forget. He was a trusting and kind person but he could be mean and cruel when he let his anger get the better of him and Keith didn’t deserve it. 

_Lance, you better apologise for that, and mean it_

“I know Blue and fuck, I fucked up I know, and this is actually on me.”

_He still came and he came for you, don’t forget that again, Red said he’s trying to change and he has so far, don’t let it go to waste over this._   
“I won’t, if I go find him now it will only end badly, but it will happen before I go find him.”

Lance truly did feel awful, he hadn’t given Keith any time to explain or anything, he just opened his mouth and let his judgements fall out, somewhat glad that Keith was experiencing a fraction of what he did. Keith didn’t deserve that. Out of all of team Voltron, Keith was proving that he was sorry and that he wanted to help. Hunk hadn’t bothered and Shiro still looked down on him and he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Pidge. Keith had stood up to Allura for him, Keith had asked for a moment alone and took the time to apologise. Keith had come all the way out to Earth for some reason to help him because he didn’t know if he was going to fight alone. 

“Shit,” he muttered as he found himself in a room he had wondered into. Slumped up against the wall he sighed and started to prepare how he would apologise.   
Unbeknownst to him, Keith sat on the opposite side of the wall wondering if he should go find Lance and let him know that though he would be here for him, he wouldn’t be treated like shit. 

A varga passed and Lance got up and started to look for Keith, if he wanted to help then he could, it was the least Lance could do and it might even turn the tide in the battle too. He turned out the room and came face to face with Keith as he left the room he had holed himself into. 

“Oh,” Keith breathed and they just stared at each other not knowing where to start. 

“Shall we go somewhere comfier?” Lance asked, and when Keith nodded in reply he led him to a more private room where they couldn’t be overheard.   
Once they sat down, Lance looked Keith dead in the eyes and prayed to whatever being in the universe that this wouldn’t be a monumental fuck up. Keith only stared back as if he was trying to read Lance, but he wasn’t giving up anything himself.

“Keith, you didn’t deserve to be treated in the way I treated you just then. I let my anger and judgements get the better of me and I dint give you a chance to defend yourself. I hurt you in a way that shouldn’t have been allowed and I am sorry for all of this. I am sorry for making you feel the way you did and for not giving you the chance to prove what you said you wanted to do back on Versi. I’m so sorry Keith.”

Lance stared at Keith hoping he would say something, be it good or bad but nothing came for a good two dobashes.

“Thank you, Lance. What you said hurt, and a lot but I forgive you. I hadn’t given you much to trust this on and old habits die hard. It doesn’t make what you did or say ok but I can see why you did. But I’m still here to help, to have your back, if you want it.” Keith couldn’t keep his eyes on Lance and had turned to his side but he felt something rest on his shoulder, gentle and tentative, and heard Lance a bit closer than he had been a few seconds ago.

“I’d like that. I really would Keith,” he turned to face Lance and he came face to face with a warm genuine smile. One that made Keith send one back.

“You really did hurt me Lance, but at least something good came from it, I found my mother. She’s Neela.”

Lance spluttered as his brain made the connections, there soft features and the same coloured hair and their natures they bared to only those who they allowed in. 

“I’m happy for you, and you have some people to meet.”

Keith visibly tensed up at this and he did look a bit scared.

“If you want to help you need to meet these guys. They wont think bad of you, I promise.” He flashed Keith a large toothy smile and helped him up.

As they walked to the bridge of the ship, Lance explained what he needed to to Keith.   
“When I was gone, I did escape but because a guard helped me at great personal risk. I then landed on Crona – that ice planet Hunk and I were stranded on. They   
helped me heal and I got talking to the guard and they explained something, something big. The Interplanetry Alliance. The last couple of Erath months I’ve been on Versi helping them and before that Crona. I escaped the day my execution was announced.

“I have a family there too, the guard and his husband and their kids. I’m wanted and useful and just? They made me feel like I belong and that I was listened to, they asked me to lead missions and talks. They have even taught me basic hand to hand so I can survive if anyone comes too near. Back on the Castle, I wasn’t noticed or I was yelled at but now? People want me because I’m useful at the very least and a few because they want me. ” Keith didn’t say anything because he understood, it was what he first felt like when Voltron first formed. Like he was part of something that made his heart sing. But it hurt to know that it was the first positive interaction he had since leaving space and he was ok with being used. No one had to resign themselves to ‘life is shit and that’s the way it is so I’m accepting it and trying to make the best of it.’ Did Lance genuinely think that being treated that way was normal, and Keith didn’t doubt Lance did. He didn’t know much about him admittedly but he had heard things in passing and they weren’t good. 

“They want to help take down the empire, we have so many people and we want to fight, this is the first bit and if you want to help we do need to debrief you.” He had zoned out of the conversation but he had to say something, damn the consequences.

“Don’t talk about yourself like that.”

“Wha?”

“That you genuinely are ok with being used. Or that you’re a waste of space.”

“I thought I was the one that was tortured? Life shit you deal with it and carry on.”

“Lance,”

“I’m fine, I’m..”

“..Don’t lie to me!” Keith yelled and he felt tears rise in his eyes. Lance looked like he didn’t know what to say but then tought better of it and carried on. 

“The IA have planned to save the Earth, there’s room in the plan for you if you want,” It wasn’t the enthusiastic spiel that Lance had sent his way but one of a person hiding a part of themselves and focusing on being anything but them. Great going, he thought to himself.

Lance tried to ignore what Keith said, it was the only way he had ever known outside of his family, his primary and secondary schools, any friends he thought he might have had, the Garrison, Voltron and even some people in the alliance. But at least in the alliance it was expected, he had so much to prove and so much was riding on this being a success. It was all he was used to and after so many years it was just life and though he still cared, he knew he shouldn’t and just got on with it, like any normal person should of. 

Then sirens went off, and he raced toward Blue and was glad he was only two corridors away. They leapt out into space and only half of their fleet was in Earth’s orbit as an armada came into view.

“Scan for life signs, specifically Lotor.” Blue used the radar and came up with nothing, Lotor was one step ahead of him and the armada was mostly druids with few galra on board. He flew Blue over to an asteroid in the belt that surrounded the inner set of planets and hunkered down so that they would be less likely to be seen from most directions. After all, there was no true up in space. All Lance needed was a clear line of fire.

He and Blue saw what was going on and though they were picking of ships at a time with concentrated blasts with ice at absolute zero as well as the laser beams it just wasn’t enough. They had taken down ten ships but they just kept coming. It was time to join the fray. 

He was dodging and diving and though he saw through Blue’s eyes every time he flew, he used it extensively now, using it to pinpoint weaknesses in the hulls. He was dodging as many lasers that came his way, while the occasional one hit, it wasn’t critical. Not yet at least. No one knew he had been training in the dead of night again when the dreams got too much for him. no one had ever seen Lance this lethal. He was cold, precise and every shot hit their marks. 

The torrent of ships didn’t stop and all were mostly droids so he had no qualms as he ripped them open and let the absolute zero temperatures do their work on the ships. He used what was around him and then he saw it. A wonderful opening. With Keith in the battle he could make a dead shot to the main control ship that he had just frozen, the crystal core, engines and main frames all encased in deadly cold ice. 

“All teams to converge on target 34.3,” he yelled into the comms, “All fire power to destruct. It’s a hive mind.” The for the first time in months, he tuned his comm into Voltron frequencies. 

“Keith? Give these bots hell,”

“With pleasure,” came the return. 

They flew and chased the pods and smaller ships that they could take and worked on the larger ships together. Then they saw the explosions and the pods stop firing. It took care of the droids but the living vengeful galra were still on board and the only precise target they could pinpoint was Keith.

Red was bombarded by laser fire and was a sitting duck. It was a distraction but not the one either of them wanted, Keith was strapped in a harness but that didn’t stop things from becoming projectiles in the cockpit. He heard Lance’s angry yells and saw that throughout the battle, Lance had been holding back. He watched Blue tear up everything in their path, the hits they took glanced off of them. It was like they’re were the same being, he felt another blow to Red then blacked out as something came loose and hit him hard.

Keith hadn’t been wrong when he though Lance and Blue were the same being, they were using the quintessence that Lance had given Blue, they were connected beyond normal paladin levels and their shared anger had awoken something in that bond. They shared the same mind it was hard to tell where he ended and Blue started. They wanted vengeance and they wanted to make the galra pay for hurting Red. For threatening their home. For daring to think that the Empire could hold on. 

They clawed and smashed and froze and shot. They made sure that nothing had the chance to escape and flew protective circles around Red, making sure that nothing, in any directions, could get at them. They stayed like that as the battle wore on. Soon the stream of ships ended and they left their position to join in the battle once more, Red had been moved to a safe area, they decimated the ships in minutes. 

There was debris everywhere and they flew in and out and with one final blast with the help of the Alliance ships they made a cluster of all the remaining ships and froze them. Then using their sonic rays that they had adapted as radar, they altered the frequency to make the ice resonate at the same frequency as the metal, causing it to expand with such ferocity that it shattered into tiny pieces. The Earth bellow with have tiny microscopic bits of ship and ice enter the atmosphere and it would be a star storm for the people below. They stopped in the middle of the exploding ice and ships and let it rain on them, motionless in the wake of the explosion, and no communication on any of the feeds that Lance and Blue could pick up.

Plutox got desperate as they tried to get through to Lance. Eventually they found a video link with the chip he had given Lance when they first met. He looked into the screen and saw Lance glowing a bright blue and his eyes, normally deep royal blue were almost neon in colour. They were unseeing and everything about Lance screamed other worldly. They couldn’t even get into Lance because fo the barrier that Blue had thrown around them. The other lion was being fixed while her paladin was still unconscious in the medical wing, his leg was the only thing that had been damaged but it would be healed completely within a varga and would only need a days intensive physiotherapy. 

They were trying to find their way back to each other but yet away from each other. Thunderstorms on Earth were mixed with a sea that Lance had never seen and he followed the thunder that rolled through him as it did the atmosphere and then he was in a hangar. 

“Blue?”

_I’m here, just give me a few vargas,_ and powered down into a robotic like sleep. He climbed out of Blue and ran for the infirmary where he knew Keith would be. 

When Keith saw Lance enter, alive and well and not glowing he desperately wished he could move his leg but it was still healing, and it wouldn’t have been strong enough to walk on anyway. But he was glad it wasn’t a healing pod and he knew Lance was still terrified of healing pods and alone in unprotected air locks. Not that he blamed him. 

But it did warm his heart to see Lance’s smile as he sat down next to him and they chatted about anything and everything. Neela then joined them bringing food. Soon enough they were all summoned to the bridge, and Lance poked fun at the situation that with Keith in a space wheelchair, he could use Lance as, well, a lance and start jousting with unsuspecting people. it made Keith laugh for the first time in too long and it felt good to do so and even joked back to Lance, and promised that ass soon as they were back in their room again, he was going to tell him everything Keith thought he did well, even if he did scare him for half a quintent.

Halfway to the bridge, Lance felt like he was intruding and stayed a few paces behind, Keith was rather affectionate once he had got past everything. They still had a lot to sort out but they were at least on the same page. The bridge was suspiciously silent when he entered it and he saw on the screen the same people he had vargas before the battle. 

“We would like to welcome you and your delegation to Earth, please we have much to discuss.”

Lance knew this would be his only opportunity and he had to take it.

“We will only agree if two conditions are met. I get to see my family and an official announcement that Katie Holt, and subsequent family are alive along with Keith Kogane, Hunk Garrett and Takashi Shirogane.”

There was a few minutes of silence as Lance hadn’t even asked for permission, they had nothing to bargain with, but Lance just did it, for one he didn’t think of the consequences. All he wanted was to see his family. He held his breath ready for the disappointment and hard bargaining that would ensue. 

“For your help today, you can have one day and the announcement will be made tonight in the formal address to the world. We will meet in Geneva again at 0900 Earth hours tomorrow morning. We will see you then.”

He felt all eyes on him as he turned on his heel and left the bridge. He would be in deep shit for that move but he could see his family again. He could go _home_ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 
> 
> Again, your comments, kudos and reads mean a lot to me and thank you for every single one of them. this is a small fic but thank you xxxx <3


	14. Caught Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mrs McClain is a badass, things move forwards for Lance and Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 now had art!!!! [This piece](http://sillinae.tumblr.com/post/162670205413/commission-of-a-scene-from-a-fic-for) by [sillinae on tumblr!!](http://sillinae.tumblr.com) Go give it all the love it deserves, they're a lovely person and deserves all the credit for this piece because it is BEAUTIFUL!!!! 
> 
> theres nothing of worry in this so enjoy!!!!
> 
> sorry its a shorter chapter - was admitted to hospital on friday - im good now but it did take out writing time and i really wanted to post this chapter!!

The world had all seen it on the news. The massive streak of blue that could be seen across the hemisphere as something big left the earth. The world knew something big had happened. But to Rosa, her world fell apart when there was a knock at their door and a man in garrison uniform stood in the doorway flanked by service personnel. She felt her heart drop and her blood ran stone cold in her veins.

“Your son is missing presumed dead after being out of bounds and interfering with an active assignment. We are sorry for your loss” 

They turned away as Rosa sunk to the floor refusing to believe that Lance would do that. Not at least without saying goodbye. They had just spoken about the simulator only hours before the blue light appeared in the sky. She would have known if her little star would have gone. He would have been a supernova not this pathetic fizzle that the garrison was trying to feed her. 

She felt Angus’ hand on her back and turned to look at him. 

“He isn't dead. I just know it.” 

Angus looked at his wife with tears in his eyes but his wife's instincts had never been wrong before. When the official statements were realised it was the kerberos mission all over again, placing blame away from themselves and saving their own skin. Rosa vowed that she would not stop hoping for Lance return to them, and there was always a place for him in their house. That didn't mean that on nights when she missed her don so much that she shed tears for him next to the tree house he and herself built for the family. It was a tad haphazard but it was safe and utterly them.

Rosa didn't expect to be contacted by Mrs Holt, she had lost her entire family and after her daughter Katie mysteriously went missing as “pidge gunderson” it didn't take her long to connect the dots. Colleen, like Rosa, refused to believe the story the garrison fed them as it just didn't seem like their kids. Of course they were up to all kinds of nonsense but they had sense and wouldn't do something without a good reason. They talked and the more they did the more they pieced together. They reached out to Hunk’s parents too, both were more than happy to join them as they had received a message from him minutes before the accident was meant to have happened, saying that he and lance were doing some team bonding whatever that meant anyway. 

Together they started to gain momentum in their fight, Anna joined in and as did.Angus.when he noticed the video images that they were presented with were doctored. They made noise and protested, the kept drawing attention to it whenever they could. They then received a message from Shiro’s father, then from all over the world, Samoa, Japan and the United Continents of America. 

They made noise and refused to accept the lies they were being told. They started to grow when other instances from the eurasian and oceanic garrisons came up.they became a thorn in Galaxy Garrison’s side and more and more frequently did the man who claimed Lance was dead show up at their door step. Iverson his name was and every time he left threatening action against them but they never did anything out of the law nor did he have anything to pin on them. They were just peacefully protesting.

But life still went on. The triplets birthday came and went and was a somber affair, theor party felt different without Lance’s stories he had learnt filling the air as the night drew on. The triplets themselves felt like a part of them was missing and were nowhere near as enthusiastic as the others. But they had learnt a lot from Lance, like the ability to hide their disappointment and hurt from everyone but themselves. Anna didn't even notice her birthday come and go, normally making a week long affair of it, it passed in silence while she work on her engineering work as she tried to search for Lance, on earth and any trace in the stars. Hers and Angus’ birthdays came and went with little celebration too, their birthdays were always a collaboration between all of their kids and without lance there was no point. 

Soon enough it was one year on and Lance’s birthday came by. They didn't do much bug they protested in his honour, demanding actual answers not the bullfuckery Galaxy Garrison was tryibg to feed the world. A few days later marked the official disappearance. Though she wouldn't show it to anyone Rosa sat outside next to the treehouse and cried like she had last year and dearly hoped it wouldn't be a ritual to remember her missing.son.

Time continued to pass and Rosa never stopped. She carried on her job in a school while Angus worked on with his technological engineering. They tried to make life normal for Heather, Rebekka and Thomas. They tried to make themselves believe that Lance was still at the Garrison just too busy that day to phone home. They tried.

Months had passed then the world saw it again. There was no escaping it it was broadcast all over the world on all mediums and there was no denying it at all. Governments made statements saying it was a hoax but how could it? Why would someone do that and be cruel enough to use Lance. Anna and Angus both agreed that it couldn't be faked and that the signals were not made on Earth. 

Then it was confirmed when space ships entered their airspace and explosions could be seen in the sky even in daylight. When debris burnt in the atmosphere and dust fell and kids danced in falling stars. When governments could no longer deny their existence.

Her hope had not been in vain, she had been right and Lance was alive. But more than a year and half had past. Lance had been in space and if what the battle that occured over their heads was anything to go by, he was in the thick of it. She knew he was alive and she hoped he would come home to her safe without another scar to add to the ones that adorned his face already. 

There was a knock on the door the next morning and there stood Iverson and his monkeys.

“Mrs McClain,”

Rosa gave a curt nod and didn't budge a millimetre. Angus stood behind her as did Anna and the triplets placed themselves before Iverson and their Mama, ready to kick punch and scream. 

Keith stood next to Lance and they stared out onto the Earth. They would be leaving in a few dobashes but it was a chance to look down without anything coming at them. Lance sighed deeply and turned to look at Keith.

“You can come with me, i think i need some instinct down there,” he smiled at him. And it was true, Lance could read people well and he could read lies but he kept believing the best and he needed someone else with him. Someone human. Or in his case part human. Keith’s instincts were rarely wrong when it came to assessing situations and he wouldn't want anyone else to go with him.

_“You being gone really fucked everything up, we didn't fight well nor did team training go well. I got Pidge hurt and we spent so much time trying to find you. We thought we had something when I saw a streak of.blue from the command deck a few weeks back and then there was surge in this strange cosmic.background stuff. Even the Olkari couldn't tell what it was.” he stopped talking as Lance was snickering “That was you wasn't it?!” he accused point ing a finger at Lance who was now in the floor laughing at Keith's outrage._

_“Yeah that was probably me, Blue has been fitted with a signal jammer that only works when looking for a certain frequency. Its alliance tech and the galra can't find it at all as it vibrates at a pitch that causes them ear damage,” said Lance when he had enough air to.breathe and speak normally again._

_Keith pouted and folded his arms looking anywhere but Lance._

_“Did you even notice us?”_

_“Um, no,” Lance looked sheepish, “I was on an impromptu rescue mission back to Lotors’s ship…” his voice faded as he of he were about to be scolded again. But there was nothing, Keith just stared at him in awe. Lance was braver than he had first thought. Keith opened his mouth and the words fell out before his brain had any time to process what his heart had wanted him to do._

_“Can I give you a hug?”_

_Lance looked stunned and then nodded a.small genuine smile crept across his face. Keith wrapped his arms round Lance and clinged to him, channeling his inner barnacle._

_“You're so brave Lance, you went back there and you came back. I wish I saw you before you went missing, I wish I could change that. But I can't but i'll do everything I can to be there for you now,”_

_“Thank you,” Lance murmured, whose head rested on Keiths shoulders and arms were wrapped around his waist. Keith didn't want the moment to end but Lance had to be up at 6am Earth time and Keith wanted to wish him luck. They would also have to brief the delegation on human etiquette and ensure that they all had vaccines for human diseases on earth and that they were free of space pathogens themselves._

_They parted and when they reached their rooms, gave each other a smile._

_“Night Samurai,”_

_“Night Sharpshooter,”_

Lance was glad when Keith's shock turned to surprise and then a smile. 

“I'll come with you. After all we make a good team” 

They took one last look at the Earth. The next time they saw it they would be reentering the atmosphere. Lance breathed deeply as he turned and walked towards the rooms where he debriefed the delegation that had been able to make it. They had been warned on what not to say and how humans were very expressive and would mostly likely act out on fear or coo if they found their species to be particularly adorable. It was hard guessing what it would be really. 

Once they were debriefed they all made their way to the decontamination chambers and on the way he felt a gentle tug on his sleeve. He was wearing the Versi robes and the sleeves were very tuggable apparently he turned around and saw Keith standing awkwardly. 

“Keith?”

“Would we be able to ask if Mum and I can go somewhere. It's not populated or anything, I just have some business.”

“Course, you have me now,” they made their way to the shower cubicles and were the last to leave. Soon enough, they were in the shuttles with Red and Blue leading the way as they descended down to Geneva. 

They landed and he climbed out of Blue and he felt Earth under his feet again. It felt so solid yet so fragile, he had seen planets being destroyed. He wanted the Earth to live its full life, and to do so he would have to talk to convince a planet to join in something so much bigger than their current knowledge. 

Keith placed a hand on one shoulder and plutox placed his on the other. They smiled at him and he took a step forwards. The sun was rising in the east and the air was crisp and fresh and the smells of the small city greeted him. They walked toward the building they had been directed to and they saw the world leaders waiting for them outside. They came to a stand still , then Vanessa, Barra and Lance himself broke rank to meet each other in the middle, both giving the other a small bow. Lance was a mediator here, working for both sides, he would have no more active participation in negotiations, though he could help clear things up and offer compromises. 

It took the full day to get everything organised, the human delegation wanted proof of what was said and the Galra transmissions of Lance’s torture were presented as well as other transmissions such as the one where Lotor had declared the Earth to be his. Lance felt Keith tense beside him as everything was shown into sharp focus, the extent and he felt a hand grab his and looked down and saw Keith’s hand rather than Plutox’s. It tightened when he was sentenced to execution on the bullshit charges.

They spent hours debating treaties with Earth, protections and trades and all this, they weren’t as technologically developed in space travel but what they lacked in space travel they more than made up for in the sciences and linguistics. And surprisingly textiles and clothing. It was then decided that Earth would help in the fight, more for the tacticians and help only that humanity seemed to provide, using the most illogical choice as the best because, of course, no one would be that stupid. But it did and that's why Voltron had been so effective because it took that sheer pigheadedness and made a giant fuck you to the universe, and did it anyways because that's what humans did.

But in saying that, there were high tensions, it was a new situation and one made under high stress, the human delegation were all members of the Earth Convention and they were the ones who would represent Earth in The Interplanetary Alliance, working in tandem with Lance. 

By the end of the day, they had come to a tentative and temporary agreement, that would see them through till the end of the war, it wasn't much but it could be enough. The Earth got trade and help with space travel, while the Alliance got the tacticians and the help of an entire planet who saw evil and decided that it wouldn't spread to them. 

That evening, Keith was like a limpet, never leaving Lance longer for a few minutes, and Lance was thankful, it was helping stave off the panic that was rising after revisiting some of his time on Lotor’s ship. In a large room, Lance quietly sobbed as he shook and let Keith hold him as he tried to ground himself and remind himself that he survived, he was no longer in a cell or an air lock or a healing pod. That Keith was there again, and just like that day when the Castle of Lions had tried to kill him, Keith was there and this time he was staying. 

Keith helped Lance up and helped to take them to his quarters where Plutox came to help get Lance off to a hopefully peaceful sleep. Keith was only next door but he felt guilt for leaving Lance after having to go through what he did today. But true to his word, Lance had managed to give Keith and his mother the day to go about their business while Lance was with his family, a full twenty four hours. It was all he needed but it would mean a lot, a little bit of closure. 

Lance woke up early, and prepared to go down in Blue, he didn’t wear his robes or his armour, he wore a simple blue shirt and jeans he had picked up in Switzerland. He had 24 hours starting at nine am local time. He went into Blue and flew down onto the surface, and braced himself. He had waited for this for so long to see his family again. 

Dust rose all around him as he landed Blue a bit beyond the house that sat at the very edge of the town. It was a small town and it looked like it hadn’t changed in the time he had left. Blue was still visible as he walked the short distance to the house and he stopped dead as he hear a massive commotion from inside, yelling and raised voices and cheering. As he approached the door it flew open and he saw the greatest sight he would ever see. 

Iverson was terrified by her and good, the pain he had caused her and so many others was too much. How dare he try to police and make Lance be questioned, they only just had the announcement yesterday that they were all alive and Rosa was beyond furious. 

“You insolent bastard, you cock womble, douche canoe and apocalyptic fuck hat. You’re a jizz weasel and a mangled fud!” She picked up the nearest shoe and lobbed it at him then picked up a vase and threw that. Both narrowly missed but they were warning shots, she wouldn’t miss next time, she had a reputation to maintain.

“You’re a lavvy-heidded wankstain! You dare show your face around this house ever again and i will not be so gentle with these projectiles”

Iverson was at the door and opening trying to escape.

“You wouldn’t dare. You’re just like your son, all bluff and a complete washout. The world was better off without him.”

That was it, Rosa saw red and punched Iverson in the nose breaking it, and then aimed a well placed kick to where the sun dont shine, 

“You ever, disrespect Lance, me or my family ever again, you will pay,” she sneered, a promise veiled as a very real threat. She then punched him in the stomach and physically kicked his arse all the while, Angus was being the biggest sarcastic shit.

“Oh no, Rosa. Stop. Come Back. Don’t do that. No.” 

“And good riddance you baw-bagged huffy wee fuck trumpet of a fuck bumper!and then as an after thought “You didn’t hear that kids,” and then she saw him after Iverson bumped him as he left. She dropped the item she was about to throw at Iverson and ran to her son and enveloped him in a big hug and soon enough Angus, Anna and the triplets were on him and there were tears all around. 

“You’re alive,” she repeated as she felt his arm around her and they all stayed there until, Lance dislodged himself to look at them. HIs scar horrified her and she was certain that there was more beneath his clothes based on the electrical burn mark but he was still Lance, still her boy and nothing would ever change that. 

“You’re all safe,” He replied and he drew her back into a hug and they walked back into the house. 

On the other side of the United Continents of America, Keith led his mother to a small grave out near where his shack stood and dealt down.

“Hey Dad, I found mum,” Ten years on and it still hurt but he was no longer alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because Rosa is a badass and the family is wonderful!!!! 
> 
> also things may be looking up!!!


	15. And You Know I'm Fine...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith have a full 24 hrs on Earth, Coran has some words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it got written - work has been busy and so has life, but its been written right?
> 
> Also this is very angsty and there is an existential crisis but nothing graphic or anything like that.

“You’d never guess where I’ve been. I’ve been to space and somehow got involved in a war in a giant red lion. She’s here with Mum too, I’m sure she would have loved you too. I miss you so much and I'm sorry for not visiting more often. I was scared and I was alone. But I have Lance now, whether or not he knows it, he’s given me hope for tomorrow and he reminds me what it's like to live again.” Tears were streaming down his face and the dust was sticking to the wet trails down his cheeks. His father’s grave was a short walk from the shack they lived in, it was the last settlement before the desert. In that shack were memories, both good and bad.

Neela knelt down by Keith and he was glad he wasn't alone.

“I was nine when he was killed, it was a gunshot wound that hit a vital artery in his leg. He bled out all over the ground alone. I came home from school that day and he was outside facing the house and he was gone. I screamed and an to the nearest farm and …” he sniffed trying to continue, “the police came and they took me away while men in black came to take his body. I only found his grave a year after when I wanted stuff from my room on the anniversary. They told me nothing. I got sent to too many different people and none ever really cared. 

“I got sent to Galaxy Garrison because I got angry at the world, i had to come to terms with everything and no one cared. Then Shiro, the only person who gave a damn about me was taken by the Empire and this was the only place i had when i was kicked out. I was legally an adult and i was on my own for another year. It sucked but Blue called to me and then you know the rest.”

“Keith,” his mother sighed and he felt arms around him pulling him close. He stiffened, still unused to the touch - both from Lance and his mum but it wasn't unwelcome. He was just very used to being pushed away and ignored and isolated. He turned towards her and saw the tears in her eyes.

“I met Ian when i got stranded on earth. I had many injuries and i had crash landed. He protected me and hid me from people who wanted to use me as research. All dead and cut up. He cared for me and though i fought against him at first, hissing and clawing he was patient. He treated me with kindness. The Blade of Mamora is like a family but we are all ready to die. We mourn but we keep going. Ian made me feel so wanted and alive. Like Lance is with you. He made me dinners and he was just so damn kind. He did a good job raising you. You remind me of him, even if it's hidden a bit.”

They sat next to the grave for another hour or so and talked about their lives about the times spent with Ian and getting to know each other better. The heat started to pick up and the walked into the glorious shade his old shack provided. 

Keith found some food that was still edible and tried to get rid of as much dust as he could. It felt weird being in his old home and it made him daydream about what life would have been like if his mother hadn't left. Sure parents evening would be weird if a giant, buff, purple woman turned up, but it could have saved his dad, it could have been happy memories instead of the before and after. His childhood till that day was, he loved his father but love didn't bring back the dead. 

Keith decided there and then, he would live in the now, with his mum and Lance, and the team to some extent. The future would be future Keiths problem and the past had happened, he couldn't change it but he refused to let it define him. He had changed already and had grown, he wanted to keep doing so and be better than he had been. For himself and those he held dear. 

Once food was cooked, the odd pair sat in the dust and ate, with Neela describing all her adventures and having their own bonding moment. 

 

His home had changed but it hadn’t at the same time, there was an air of tension that had yet to lift, and he knew it was there because of him. He could smell the pastelitos being fried and the familiar smell of the washing that was sitting in the same place it always did. There was an awkward feeling that set over the entire family, none of them knowing where to start. That was until Blue decided she wanted to be there for Lance and gently nudged the walls from outside making the house shake a bit. 

_Well say something, they still love you. I am here._

“Well, Iverson was always an arse, so you did the world a favour Mama.” he received a light tap round the head.

“Language,” though she was laughing along with the rest of them. It broke the silence which was good. 

“Are you ok?” Heather asked, she handt been able to stop looking at the scars. 

“You know I’m fine, I’m your big brother, it takes a lot more than that to stop me.” He picked her up and brought her into a hug, reminding her that he was her and that he was fine to a degree. The triplets were only eleven now, he didn't want to subject them to the horrors he had faced. He would have to tell his parents and Anna but not them. Not yet at least. 

His parents gave him the look that they gave when they knew he was lying, something he didn't do that often. So they started to ask questions about Blue and his time in space, the people he’d met and what the hell had happened that day more than a year and a half ago. He talked about how he had left the solar system though he skipped over most the fighting, the triplets were still so young they didn't need to worry about him. He talks about his travels and his time on the swap moon mall and the shenanigans he got up to. He talked about Plutox and co and Sholta but he didn't talk about how he met them. 

While he talked he had his parents cooking again, his father's tattie scones and his mama’s pastelitos were shared around and though the combination was an odd mix, he had been in space for too long and he just wanted his parents cooking again. He didn't want to leave and was dreading going back into space. At least when he believed that his parents thought him to be dead, there was no expectation to come home alive. He could die and they would have already mourned him. But now he had to come back, he had to live.

But there was no guarantee that he would be the same person he left them in now. Or if he could ever return, he had so much shame, a long list of the dead and a trail of destruction and death in his wake. Hunk and Keith whenever they used a blaster missed or rarely hit a target but he never missed. He could run and jump while shooting like it was nothing. He had turned into a killer. He had been tortured but he probably deserved it after all he had done. Just how many people had he killed? How many people had their lives ruined because of him, losing loved ones. Maybe Keith had the right idea. Living alone and out the way so he couldn't hurt people was the best way to go. He was too broken and to despicable to deserve the happiness he had found. It wasn't as if this was a new thing either, it had always been there but it had been hidden by being the fifteenth wheel and escaping and feeling wanted for the first time in more than a year. But being home just highlighted how much he had changed and for the worse. 

He quieted down and asked about his parents and his siblings, not wanting to talk about himself anymore. He made noncommittal noises as acknowledgement and his guilt grew as he heard how they didn't give up on him. He could hear Blue trying to communicate with him, to assure him but he was so far in he couldn't take it. He receded into himself while wearing his facade of being ok. He had worn it for so long, it had become second nature to pretend. 

At some point during the day, his extended family called in, looking to him and being glad that he was back. All it did was make him feel worse, but this was his family? Shouldn't he have been happy? He had been waiting for this but all that had happened was he fell back and further into his brain than before. He had been homesick and he thought maybe he wasn't meant for the storms or the stars maybe he was meant to be part of the void, a nameless soldier to be forgotten and only known as the third paladin, whose name was lost to history. Blue would be better without him, his family and the team. The people in space, he would end this war and then he would just simply slip away, like he always did. 

He wasn't enough then, and he certainly wasn't now, and he knew he wouldn't be in the future, he quietly slunk away, escaping his family's notice and climbed into the cramped old tree house where he curled up and hugged himself, willing himself to disappear out of everyone's life. 

 

Coran had a lot to deal with, he _had_ to talk with Allura and then with the paladins who were still on the ship. Coran knew something big was going down after Keith had sent a message to him before they started talks. But Allura had been a problem and it needed to be sorted if they were going to help the universe or the Alliance. He hated to be the one to do this but enough was enough. 

He managed to catch her in her rooms and braced himself for the hell that was to come. They sat in what could be described as a parlour room but not quite. 

“Allura, we need to talk about what's been happening, you’ve been eating yourself from the inside. It's affecting how you bond with the team. You make them bond with each other but you haven't bonded with any of them. You have been treating them like the way your father treated his paladins, but there was a difference, he fought with them and knew them. He was a part of Voltron too and they all worked together. I’m not saying Alfor was perfect, he was far from it. But you are not him and your paladins are your age, they were thrown into this and the accepted, they knew it would kill them but they did it and i'm sure half of it was for you. They all have their doubts and demons, and so do you. You don't need to be an island here. Let them help you. ’Lura, we all are.”

Allura really had been under so much stress, like all of them but royal training kicked in, she had always been taught to hide everything, to remain calm and collected. That didn't meant that at night she let it all out. She had no one but Coran out in space and she hated the feeling that she wasn't living up to her father, that she was failing the universe. That she constantly had to be strong and decisive. She didn't even want this, she wanted to be away from it all, but her father guided her to this and the war happened. She had no choice and she couldn't say no. There was no one else, her brothers and sisters had all died and she had been the youngest. Alfor had doted on her and then he had to train her for war, she didn't want this but she would face it with no fear on her face, she couldn't afford to. 

“ ’Lura, its ok to not be strong, it's ok to stop says ‘I’m fine’. You need to face the mistakes you have made and fix them. With the team, and with Lance. They all deserve that and so do you.”

“You’re right, I do. Every time something happens, I react but I don't change, I don't know where to start. I have no home, everyone is gone and then they show up. It’s not their fault but there's no one, then Father’s AI tried to kill us all. Who do I trust?”

“Me, you will always have me. You forget your mother was my sister. You can learn to trust your team, one you are a part of. They do care for you, even Lance though he may not show it now. You're not to the side of them, they are waiting for you to reach out.”

“Thanks Coran.” She leant over to give him a hug and gave one in return.

“You know where I am if you want me, sweet,” he replied and left the room to find Pidge and Hunk. They had gone down onto Versi to see Lance but they had got caught up else where and had left their team mates. He had heard about Shiro’s panic attack and though Shiro wouldn't be mad at the younger two , Coran would on his behalf. He didn’t know the extent that Shiro suffered but he knew it was enough that he needed the help Lance had extended to him, even if he didn’t have to. He eventually found the two trying out some of Hunk's cooking in the Kitchens and he made sure to say that they should have tried harder to find Lance. They had been going on about how they had to find Lance but then abandoned him when they had the chance. It felt like they were only friends with Lance when it mattered to them, it seemed to Coran. Hunk opened his mouth to protest but nothing came out and realised that Coran really had called him out on something very valid. The two Paladins nodded in agreement and promised to do better. if they kept to it, Coran didn't know but he sure as hell would remind them of it. He also decided he would talk to Shiro at some point but considering he was talking with some one about the thing he called PTSD, Coran decided he would do it when Shiro was better and had more sleep, after all, its not Shiro's fault that he had a panic attack while trying to find Lance. 

That night when he went to his own bed he looked up at the ceiling and wondered what would have happened if Altea didn't fall, and there was still peace and it wasn't the Galra who waged war. He wanted his family back, old and new. He just wanted this to be over, after all he was fine wasn't he? He had seen Allura trying to change, she checked up on Shiro to make sure he was ok before he slept and looked in on everyone else. She listened as they rambled about what Hunk and Pidge were trying to develop, it was a start and he hoped when the boys came back, it would only go up from there. Hopefully.

 

Anna found him an hour later as the sun was setting, they ahd noticed him leave and gave him the space he was needing. They all understood that he had seen and probably done things in space that would haunt him till the day he died. Anna struggled to find her loud brother, the one who played her up and teased her rotten but was always down for a spa day, in the person that came back. She saw all the scars on his face and the electrical burns that marred the back of his hands and his neck, that then crept up onto his jaw. His rich brown skin that used to be flawless was more scar tissue than skin and his eyes that used to be bright, caring and so damn happy were dulled and left to fade behind trauma. He was taller than when she had last seen him and he had filled out more, he was more defined and a sense of unease radiated from him. 

“Hey Lance, you feeling up to coming back in? The family had gone, its just us. We needed some shopping. It’s just us,” They others had left, they had all sensed something was off. They knew to expect someone different but not like this, their hearts broke for him but he was still family and they still loved him.

“We still love you no matter whats happened,”

“Even if I’ve killed people, actual people with lives and families, do they not count if they’re a different species? Why am I still here, why did I think this is a good idea...” 

“You didn't know back then, you said so yourself, as soon as you found the alliance and learnt you made non lethal shots. You learnt and you changed and you feel remorse, I’d be worried if you didn't. You haven't talked about your friends and the scars are evident something happened. You are still the wonderful Lance I grew up with and teased and helped and loved. Don't you dare say ‘but I’ve killed people’ because so do most soldiers. You got flung in a war with no choice or knowledge but know you know and you are fighting against it. 

“I still love you Lance, we all do. I fought so hard to keep finding you we all did. We never gave up hope. You promised you would return from the Garrison and you have, a but late but you’re here. Out of all the things you could have demanded, you chose diplomacy and us. Lance, that says a lot. We can help get the help you need,”

Anna had managed to coax Lance out of the treehouse and both were leaning on each other as the sun set, he still had another 15 hours with them and Anna was sure that she would be making the most of it and making Lance smile again. She started to talk about all the nonsense and practically roast the guys that still said she didn’t belong in their engineering team. She eventually got him to talk about the shenanigans that he had got up to with his galra family and was glad that he had found them. They talked till the rest of the family came home. 

When they did arrive she had managed to get Lance smiling again and his eyes lit up as though he was no longer stuck in his own head. Anna was one of the few people who Lance couldn’t convince with his ‘I’m fines’, the only other people being their parents. He shared so many of their traits, his father’s sarcasm and playfulness, his mother’s flirtatious ways and her unending kindness, and maybe just her ability to do whatever the fuck she put her mind to. But they all did the one thing, if something was wrong, they’d go to the people they trusted the most and spill their hearts but to everyone else, no one would ever suspect. Lance would tell them, she knew that, but he had to keep going at this point and he would not spill until he was ready. All they could do was be there for him and make sure he knew that he was loved and wanted and included. 

Somehow during the evening, Lance had curled up on the sofa surrounded by his family and drifted off to sleep. His thoughts from earlier still lingered but his family was still here and they must have known he’d done things he wouldn’t be proud of. They were still here and that night he had dreams that didn’t terrify him, they were weird yes but terrifying. Being chased by a giant bouncy ball while riding a giant lizard was better than anything he’d had in the last few months. He felt warm inside knowing that he was home and though he would have to leave at 9 am the next morning, he would return alive and better than he was now. 

He woke the next morning as the sun cascaded into his room and it was only six am, he still had three hours, he crept into the triplets room and woke them up and then they snuck out of the house and over to Blue, he was pretty sure his parent heard them but didnt care, letting the triplets have fun with their brother. He heard Blue’s familiar voice in his mind as soon as he entered the cockpit,

 _Welcome back and hello to your siblings,_

They felt Blue purr and Lance spent the next hour taking them into space at full speed and doing a once over of the solar system. The cockpit was filled with questions and ooo’s and ahh’s and Lance was laughing again as the triplets climbed everywhere trying to get a better look. He turned the gravity off in blue and started to teach them how to move in zero g, it was an effort but they soon got used to it. They had a quick tour of the outside of the Versi ship and landed back on Earth in time for breakfast. Rebbeka was practically yelling about being in zero g while Thomas was raving about seeing all the planets while Heather had her priorities straight and was still flailing about being the youngest person to ever be in space and to go the furthest of any person her age. 

Anna, ever the dramatic older sister, tried to wrestle Lance into letting her into Blue too, though with his training and natural ability to be very slippery he quickly had her pinned before both were told to stop fighting at the table. At eight am, he lead them out to meet his favourite girl in the universe and Blue, who had been trying to chase something in the sky , bounded all the way towards them and stopped in a storm of dust and one rather terrified snake, slithering away for its life in the opposite direction. He laughed and stroked her snout while the triplets climbed in dragging their sister and parents in with them. 

He took them all for a short flight and though his parents screams quickly died off, they were still a bit nervous of Blue. They did a lap of the planet and Lance guided Blue back down to his house. They still had half an hour before Lance had to leave and he made the most of it. He had to rummage a bit but he found it. Barra had given him a spare communicator and he knew exactly who he was giving it to. He didn't want to be in space again without being able to talk to or see his family ever again. One day when this was over, he’d take them into space himself and take them to Versi and meet everyone. One day he would have everyone round him at once and Keith and Coran would be there too, and maybe the others if they actually showed him that they cared. One day there would be peace, no matter how temporary and he would be able to have the day off to spend with his friends and his families and have one massive ceilidh to celebrate with. He said goodbye to his family with tars running down his cheeks, but this time, they knew he was alive and he was coming back. He had made a promise and he never broke his promises. With one last fond look, he and Blue left the atmosphere and made their way back onto their flag ship. 

 

Keith and Neela didn't have much to do on Earth but Keith was able to grab some stuff from the house, some photos of him and his dad, a few photos of him and Shiro back in the Garrison and then his camera. It wasn't good but it meant that he could keep the memories alive and know that it was real and even if they do leave or if he dies, he was there and so was he. Something to be remembered by. He had grabbed his music player and phone as well and some other essentials such as clothing and he had rode into the nearest town to get some necessities for going back to the Castle. He was very glad to see that Iverson had a broken nose and a black eye and an even more broken ego. He remembered the time he had punch Iverson in the face fondly, he deserved it then and he decided whoever did that to Iverson deserved an award and world wide recognition. When he walked past Iverson, Iverson blanched at the sight of Keith and ran in the opposite direction and Keith was so very glad about it, the prat deserved it. 

Keith soon made his way back to his mother and they soon headed back into red after they had fallen asleep again, they made their way back to Red and then soon enough they were back on the ship. No less than five minutes later, Lance had returned and Keith ran to their shared hangar for the lions, who didn’t want to be apart again after much protest and persuasion and threats made to both of them, they had convinced the Alliance to given them the storage cargo so the two lions could bask in each others presence. He ran so hard he barreled into Lance and gave embraced him in a hug, glad to see him again and so grateful that he had a day to see his dad again. 

Lance returned the hug and though the bags he had taken off Blue dug into his back and sides, he didn’t complain at all, he knew he wasn’t alone in space and that he found hope again and a family and it was all because of Lance, wonderful Lance. Keith helped Lance with the bags his mother had given him as he left - full of clothes and skin care and little things to make space less empty. They exchanged their stories and Keith was howling with laughter after Lance described what his mother had done to Iverson and then explained what Iverson looked like after leaving. They were laughing together and then soon enough, Plutox and Neela joined them a tad worried about the commotion and crashing after Keith had laughed himself off the bed and crash landed on the floor. 

Plutox and Neela stayed and they all exchanged stories about their lives and what idiotic things they got up to and Keith looked at them all and he was glad he had left Earth but this time for the right reasons, he had found his mum and he was building up a family with her and she wanted to be a part of his life. He looked at PLutox, who had no reason to trust him but was describing in great detail half the shit he had done to annoy a galra commander because he was a sexist piece of shit. He saw Lance, in all his glory and though he knew there was something below the surface, he had made space wonderful and though he had admittedly been a shit, Lance had forgiven him and let him back in. 

He realised he had friends and family again and it felt so good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY IVE BEEN FEELING SOOOO VERY ANGSTY


	16. Standing Alone With Your Eyes To The Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team bond and Lance makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM NOT DEAD!!!!!!
> 
> Life had been busy and rather shit but i'm trying, gotten better from bout friday onwards but yeah.......
> 
> the plot thickens and will be entering the final phase from the next chapter onwards!!!!

Coran knew he had to do something. Everyone had been skirting around the issue for weeks. Unfortunately that issue was Lance. He had talked to Allura and Shiro seemed to be doing much better, whatever Lance had done for him when he was on the planet below was helping. Hunk and Pidge were busy with their own things and it seemed like Lance had slipped from their minds. Now their personal issues were resolved or resolving, they forgot about him until they would need him again and that had yet to happen. He refused to let that happen again, he may not have helped before as much as he could of, but he could now. And he would. 

Coran somehow managed to talk to them that morning, soon after Keith left, Allura had calmed down from her initial anger and shock of Keith taking off, but at least it was in keeping with the Red Lion’s own behaviour. Despite their very rocky start, they really were starting to be quite close and had regained his trust. Keith had showed Lance that he wanted to be better and had changed for him for what was a better apology than changed behaviour. Even though Lance said he hadn't really done anything to hurt him, Coran still wanted to be better for Lance and the rest of the team. 

“I know I've talked with Allura but the rest of you call Lance your friends but you forget him so easily. I'm going to put this not so gently. 

“Its no wonder he doesn't trust you, you haven't shown it to him again. Pidge, Hunk both of you got side tracked when you first went down and completely forgot Lance. Once you knew he was safe that was it! You call him your friend but you so rarely show it.”

Hunk and Pidge glanced at each other then to Coran and then the ground. Coran was right and he saw the cogs turning in their brains that while Lances whereabouts were unknown they were desperate to find him. But as soon as he was safe and in a position to help them again they had fallen back into old habits. 

“Hunk did you actually talk to Lance when you came back from that ice world the wormhole sent you to? He did seem a bit shaken after it, did something happen on that planet that you didn't tell us?” Shiro asked, remembering how there was a slight difference in Lance’s behaviour around Hunk. He and Coran also noted it was when Lance started to act different, maybe in a miniscule way but it was enough to snowball then become an avalanche. 

“I kinda did but, it's Lance, he says he’s ok even when he’s not. But I should have pushed. He didn't tell you much about the fighting we did in the city there right?” He looked around and saw the curiosity on everyone's faces and he sighed deeply. 

“When Luxia was under the Baku’s control, she used the Baku grass on me and she used me as one of her guards and ordered me to kill Lance. I don't remember much of that time but i went after him and all I could do was aim and shoot with my bayard all while Lance was trying to save me.

“He told me he was ok, but i heard him yelling one night in his sleep and it triggered the memories to come back so i asked but he said he was ok again. I should have pushed on that…” his voice trailed off as hunk became restless and uncomfortable and he twiddled his fingers in the effort to do something.

“You tried to _kill_ him and you didn't think it would mess with him even a little?” Pidge exploded at Hunk, who in turn flinched away from them. 

“I couldn’t help it! I wasn't in control!” Hunk yelled back indignantly. 

“Hunk, we’re not blaming you but you can see how it would seem to Lance, even if he knew it wasn’t you in control.” said Shiro and placed an arm on his, “We didn't also think about how many times Lance has almost died for us and around the Castle. That bomb, the cryo pods and the air lock? When he was in danger i was there for him but after? We all just assumed he was fine and though we do care for him, we just haven't shown it very well. Least of all of us is you Princess.” 

“I intend to rectify those wrongs, along with those against you three and Keith too. I have said and done things i realise were wrong, especially when trying to handle Lance. I tried to handle and force rather than guide, he is something so different to what i was used to but also a lot like how i am. Father could never get me to do anything he wanted if i thought it was his choice or him making me. I wanted to be the one who chose. Considering i didn't have much choice anyway. But i grew and saw.

“Lance is like the water, free flowing but dangerous with a mind of its own and will carve the path it wants. I should have been there to guide and help him as well as ask and demand. So if he comes back, we are all talking to him and we will all apologising and having a good heart to heart.”

Coran leaned back and smiled to himself, the team surrounding him then began a rather open discussion of each other and tried to figure out each other in a way they never really had. Sam and Matt had left well before the chat had started and soon returned but Coran gave them a look and they nodded and left. Not before Matt took it upon himself to make a sign, found a pen and wrote ‘do not disturb upon wrath of Allura.’ with a little doodle of an angry allura with spiky teeth and rather grim eyebrows. 

During the time they chatted, Coran got an alert on the castle systems and excused himself and left the others to continue their talk. Shiro was starting to talk about what he was going through and he was talking to a therapist, whatever that was.

When he made it to his control panel he opened up the channel and saw Keith sitting on the floor with Lance resting against a rather large, muscled galra. 

“We saved Earth and we’re coming back. Give us a day or so and I’ll explain everything.”

“Keith who you talking to?” came a disembodied voice somewhere and one that was distinctly feminine. 

“Um, no one?” he sent back his voice going up in tone as he tried to hide his guilt. “Got to go.” and it went blank again. Corran smiled and knew Lance was in safe hands and that he would see him again and he would have a very long talk with Lance about how much Lance meant to him. 

On the way back to the Versi, Keith had a realisation, despite being in Verdi's orbit for more than a week, then fighting for Earth, he found that he didn’t know the capital city’s name. When he had asked Neela, he had the answer of Radiant; and it truly was. They were half an hour from the Velvet system where Versi resided and the way back from Earth was thankfully uneventful. He, Lance and the rest of the Alliance on the flag ship passed the time in relative ease, all mingling and sharing stories about their adventures. Keith even joined in with some of the adventures he and Lance had experienced. But like all good things, it came to an end. They had arrived back on Version and it was back to planning for the Alliance and for Keith it meant going back to the Castle to face the music. 

He found himself not wanting to leave though, he felt at home with Lance and his mother at his side and he wanted this more than anything he ever had in his life. In the past he had wanted his Dad back or his past homes to have kept him and tried to be understanding. He had wanted to change the past but now he wanted to keep a future. He wasn’t even sure of his own feelings towards Lance at this point, whether they be platonic but to an extent where Lance was more than a best friend or if it was romantic, but he was sure he was close to loving Lance, just not sure exactly how.

He was realising he would do just about anything for Lance, even more so than for Shiro, whom he called a brother. He realised he also wanted his mother in his life and what it would be like to actually call her mum. He’d been saying her name but it was something he never had and he had a chance. He was gonna take it and even if it didn’t work out for whatever reason, he could still say he now knew. 

When they arrived in Verdi's orbit he was confused when he felt his heart sink at the sight of the castle, maybe it was because he had grown used to and liked the company of so many people on this ship or it was because he knew drama would be going down. Either way, he, Lance and Neela parted ways as they got into their Lions and Keith turned away from Versi and from Lance and went to face the music, hoping that Coran would still be on his side. 

When the hangar door opened at his approach, he set Red down and heard her reassurances, and threats to walls if anyone yelled at him. As he started to leave he gave her a loving pet and walked up to the stairs to go find the rest of the team and whoever was still on board. 

He didn’t expect to be tackled by Hunk or Pidge and Shiro gave him an affectionate ruffle of his hair. 

“Welcome back Keith,” said Allura warmly and a smile on her face. Something had happened in the few days he had been gone. He wasn’t sure what but it was an improvement from when he had left. The tension had lifted somewhat and it was easier to be at ease, like it was when they had started, a bit more jokey and just a bit less awful. 

“Hi?” He asked, still unsure of what the hell was happening. 

“Coran told us what you did, I’m so proud of you.” Shiro replied, smiling and it was honestly the best he had seen him since before the Kerberos mission. He looked like had sleep and was actually coping. 

“Wait what happened?” 

“We just worked some stuff out with us all. I’ve been getting help and chatting with someone on that weird ice planet, Pidge and Hunk have been making trips down to Radiant and gaining information about this planet and Allura and Coran have been talking with the leaders on board and we’re moving forwards! If we can enlist this planet’s help…”

“Shiro, let me stop you there,” interrupted Keith, “What about Lance? What about the planet’s government. I’ve just seen what Lotor can do, Earth got attacked.”

There were gasps from Hunk and Pidge and they looked so heartbroken.

“Mum?” gasped Pidge,

“My family!” cried hunk, both looking to each other. 

“We did it though. Lance and I,” he was careful to not mention the alliance though he saw the look Coran gave him and sent a small nod back. “We gave Earth a heads up. He made sure your families know you’re alive. Your’s too Shiro, Miyuki knows you’re alive. Lance’s mum also had given Iverson hell since we left too.” They all laughed at that. 

“I can imagine, Rosa was always like that,” Hunk said hoarsely, he was laughing too hard to manage anything else. 

“Gave him a broken nose, apparently his dad wasn't any better.” 

“Both of them are trouble. I remember his dad being very over dramatic and so very sarcastic. I remember this time when...”

“Going off topic but still, the Earth is safe and so are your families. But Lotor sent so many warships, must have been three armadas. It was all droid based, based on Lance’s scans, but still. There's something much bigger if we want to take Lotor on. We need a united Voltron. We need Lance.” _And a few others_ he sent to Red, who eagerly replied. 

_Just you wait. The Alliance are planning something that makes Blue very happy indeed. Not that I’m gonna tell you. I made a promise after all._

He was curious but he trusted Lance and co and he hoped he would be able to help. He would bring that up at some point but for now he felt he wanted his bed. He made his excuses and left and noticed Coran had followed. 

“Did he get to see his family?” he asked, not even needing to add the context.

“Yes, and I saw mine. I think he want you to meet them though, both of them.”

Coran’s eyes welled up with tears and the walk to Keith’s room was of talk and the Alliance and whether or not it was safe to broach it with the rest of the team. When he had made it to his room he looked around and what used to be adequate and enough no longer was. He curled himself up into a ball and tried to imagine his mother sitting next to him as he fell asleep as she had done when they had visited his dad’s grave and the shack. Imagined having Lance only a wall a way and wishing that he would be closer than a wall away. Now he was an entire planet away. He couldn’t pinpoint when he had started to feel like this but it wasn’t not wanted it just felt a tad lonely. He had grown used to the comfort he drew from others and he didn’t realise how good he had it in the three days he had on the return to Earth, there was no immediate rush. He hoped he could find some solace in the others but for now, he pulled the duvet up round him and drew up into himself and tried to fall asleep and dreamed of flashes of purples and greys of a stormy sky. 

 

Down in Radiant, Lance was briefing the team he worked missions with on what went down in the fight. Most were half Galra or full galra and all were women. Their leader, Sekhmet, turned to look at him and gave him a raised eyebrow. She was full blooded and could have been just as brutal as any of the commanders Voltron had faced against, the difference was she chose not to be. She was kind and full of life but on the battlefield against the people who had left her in the dust she was a different person. Cold and calculating and ruthless but she still maintained her compassion and she always gave them a choice, something she never had. 

“He’s changed all their tactics then,” she commented, upon hearing about the battle. Lance nodded. 

“It was a constant stream rather than a blockade or whatever. He did it to wear us out and use up all our ammo. We can't even use guerilla warfare in space either, there's too much going on and the risk is too high.”

 

He turned to the rest of his team, “Anyone else got any ideas?” They all knew about Sholta and the plans, at this point they were getting the finer details, Petrel saw some flaws in the designs of the ships, their weak spots and the flaws in the technology, her twin Tern was thinking of formations. They others were adding their own inputs and they had decided to make a change in their plans based off new intel from their most recent fight. They had all been the best of the best and Lance had found he had a place among them. 

“We will need to talk to Cairn then, Barra. Do you think Voltron would be able to help? I mean if you want to go back to them that is,” Sekhmet said once the outlines of a plan had been finalised.

“I honestly have no idea. The red paladin and the advisor would but the others? I doubt we could even form Voltron there is a lot that is left unsaid. I’ll have to soon, I need to too.”

Lance knew he was right he still had to talk to the other four but it was getting harder to get everything together and the Alliance needed to know if Voltron could be trusted and could work together. Olkarion was the only planet aligned with Voltron that has any significant importance or influence but they were aligned with Voltron because of Pidge. Ughh, this is all a mess, he thought to himself. He just wanted to sleep but he couldn't. There were still meetings to be had and he was just so done with this war. There wasn't much he could do though, he sat in the meetings and pulled his weight. He debriefed the council and introduced the newest members and became his own rebellion. Just himself and the team he lead on missions. They had all come to him willingly and they truly were a sight to behold. 

He walked into one of the spare rooms in the state building for and flumped down on the bed that was there. It wasn't much but he fell asleep straight away. But then the nightmares came again. The electricity, the cuts, that metal in his veins. Then his family dying and Keith and Coran were there too. The fights weren't successful and everyone he had killed flitted in his vision, yelling and confirming all his fears. 

He woke up screaming and yelling and no one came. He was covered in sweat and tears made their way down his face. He curled back up onto his side and let the tears flow, trying to rub his arms to get the blood moving again and try to not feel as if he was dying again. 

_My sweet one, Lance, sweet, you're alive, your family are fine. All this will be over soon. One way or another. My paladin, my sweet sweet paladin._

He heard Blue’s crooning and tried but failed to comfort himself. His homesickness arrived in full force again and worse than before and when dawn broke, the two suns made the tear streaks down his face all the more visible. 

He left the building without eating and flee Blue up to the Castle of Lions. He opened up his Voltron channel again and tried to hail the castle hoping someone would answer.

“Blue Lion to Castle, please come in,

“Blue Lion to Castle,” please please reply, “Hello?” he sighed and started to turn Blue around when he heard Allura over the comms, happier and calmer than he had heard in so many months of being in space. 

“Lance! The shared hangar will be open for you! We are all eating right now but this is still your home if you want.”

Home. What was that place to Lance anymore. With everyday he felt more and more disconnected to the people and places that he felt like home. If he was in one place or with those people he would long for the others. He already felt torn by his dual heritage and as of he never really fit. He landed Blue in the hangar and he heard the roars from the lions welcoming their sister home. He managed to scramble out of Blue before the lions made a massive pile on top of Blue. All of then purring and making sure no one was left out of the pile of robotic lion.

Lance fetl Blue’s excitement and happiness and felt happy for her, she was back in her home and with her family. He wondered around the halls until he found himself in the dining room where everyone was cleaning up. 

“Lance!” Pidge yelled and ran into him giving him a hug, something he wouldn't have expected from Pidge. He didn't respond however but it didn't deter Pidge. Hunk soon joined them, as did Shiro and Allura. He was glad that Keith and Coran stood back knowing that it's something he wouldn't want, not at least now. His body was stiff and he was sure he looked like he had walked through hell backwards and faced everything. He felt like his eyes were sandpaper and everything was too bright or too loud. 

When everyone released him, he sat down and was glad to see the food goo, it was bland but it was something normal and recognisable. He had missed in one way, he had grown so used to it day in, day out for over a year and a half and while being away from the castle, he found he had missed it somewhat. 

He sat with his shoulders slumped and was glad that Coran and Keith sat at his sides, a physical barrier to the others. It was nice to see that they actually gave a fuck about him but it was in a way he was no longer comfortable with. He was no longer the touchy guy who thrived off physical contact and hugs, Lotor had seen to that quite thoroughly. They were all chatting like it was nothing, it was so different to before he had been captured where breakfasts were a silent affair or only three of them where there. 

He looked down at his food goo and felt any appetite run away as he realised that he was no longer here still. His body language must have sown this as Keith’s hand found his under the table and gave a small squeeze. Coran must have also seen too as he was starting to ask Lance questions about his time down on Versi, what he had been doing and such like, leading the conversation to include him. 

All eyes were on him at first it was short monosyllabic answers, but when the others started to join in, he found himself opening up.

“How does the two suns work? Like, is it permanent sunshine or are there delays or what? What do they call a day? Can you see the moons or planets from the surface? I’m asking for Science,” inquired Pidge,

“The suns are roughly three Earth hours apart but the nights are longer and the planet's rotation is a lot slower. Day’s are typically thirty two Earth hours. During the years the Altean's were gone, the Galra kept the standard tick, dobash, varga then quintant. It was easier to keep time that way so when on different planets it could all be synced up,”

“But the moons!” moaned Pidge, “Can you see things in the sky!?” 

“Yes, you can see the moons Poosh and Nyx and the uninhabited planet of Vulcan, named so because it's literally still volcanoes and forming an atmosphere. I'm sure Red would love that planet Keith.”

“She probably would, do you think sentient robot lions like having baths?”

“Blue certainly does! When we were on Crona, she was in her element, she was swimming circles around some of the fastest of them on her own.”

“Crona?” enquired Shiro.

“Yeah that ice planet Hunk and I were stranded on. Wait, you didn't check its name did you?” 

Allura looked guilty in the corner and her voice was soft and cautious. “We were trying to find you two and the co-ordinates were more important than the name. We didn’t expect to go back.”

“I’d like to see it,” Keith added, and he knew what Crona meant to Lance and he saw the small smile Keith sent his way. 

“As would I, I want to thank them for looking after our paladins so well,” Coran said, a hand gesturing over to Hunk. 

“When this is all over, maybe a trip to Crona would be appreciated by all of us, what do you think Princess?” asked Shiro.

“I think it would be a good idea,” smiling she turned her attention back to her food goo, as if it were about to become suddenly sentient and fight back. 

Lance felt better as the morning drew on. He couldn't be down in Radiant at this point, he needed this break and excused himself as he went to his room. He needed a shower and a change of clothes. When he entered he gave Kaltenecker an affectionate pet on her head and then showered off and found his old jeans, baseball top and jacket. They were still comfy after all this time and he was glad of it. He sat on the bed and Kaltenecker came to join him and laid her head down on his lap. Cows were just really big dogs, or at least Kaltenecker was, he had been sure to get some stuff for her when they had revisited the swap moon, ever growing grass, water filtration systems and a massive roll of fluff stuff to help her clean herself. 

He must have sat there for a while scratching behind Kaltenecker ears when there was a knock at the door. He tried not to feel annoyed but it was hard, he was happy stroking Kaltenecker and enjoying the peace she had afforded him. He got up and heard the low moo as he walked to the door which, at the touch of a button, slid open to reveal Shiro. 

“Hey Lance,”

“Hi,” he replied rather awkwardly, he wasn't used to being the sole focus of Shiro’s gaze unless it was a reprimand. This gentler, friendlier tone was vaguely unnerving. 

“Can I talk with you, just one to one?” 

Lance nodded cautiously and moved aside and into Kaltenecker who had made her way to Lance’s side, nuzzling his side gently. Shiro took a step in and sat down in the middle of the room while lance made his way back to the bed and felt Kaltenecker’s head on his lap. 

“I need to say a lot to you Lance, apologies mostly, but also a thank you. Your help with all this,” gesturing up to his head and making circular motions, “has really, really helped. I feel like I can actually cope now. They’re still bad but at least I don't feel like I'm dying over and over again every single night. 

“And that's all down to you.” Shiro was smiling at him and Lance’s brain short circuited.

“Shiro, I was just doing what any other decent person would have done! You don't let people suffer no matter what they’ve done.” 

“And for that wrongs I have done I against you, I am so very sorry. You helped me when you didn't need too, you kept going on even when we ignored you and treated you in a way you didn't deserve. We failed you in so many different ways and yet here you are.”

“Why you saything this?”

“Because I am sorry. I hurt you and I didn't take the time to know you. I only realised how important you are when you were gone. Yet you still helped me because you’re the type of person to see someone in need of help and the automatic response is to go help. Lance, that's what wins wars. It's not the fighting eachother on a battlefield, it's the small acts of kindness and fighting against the evil in our own spheres. It’s the constant fight that reminds us why we fight on battlefields and what we fight to protect. It keeps us living, because that one compliment on a bad day makes all the difference. Lance, there is no Voltron without you, not because you're the Blue Paladin but because you’re the one who left everything behind because people were dying and the best thing was to stand up for them and fight. You go down to planets and you include them, you learn their language and learn. You do so much. Lance, I helped stamp out some of your light and that was not right.”

Shiro bowed his head and waited for Lance’s reply. A reply that didn't come for two minutes solid and Shiro held himself, not making a move. There was a quiet sniffle, and then a voice broke the silence. 

“You did care, Shiro otherwise you wouldn’t have helped me when Sendak was threatening to kill me. You got lost in the stress. That doesn't excuse what happened but it helps understand and want to move on. Shiro, you were my hero, I idolised you in the garrison and when I got to work with you, I was so happy but then, ugh i don't know anymore. Everything went to shit and it hurt when all I heard was criticism with no offer of help to improve, even before Beta-Traz. Some of it i probably deserved but still. Words have power and i got too used to the phrase, ‘I'm used to it.’ But we were once on the way to being friends, let's get back on that track and off these ones. Once and for all.” 

Lance stood up and offered a hand to Shiro, who took it and looked up, tears in his eyes and pulled Lance in for a long hug, Shocked, Lance stiffened and then relaxed into the hug, he was still in the process of forgiving Shiro, but he knew he would get there, he really did want to get to know him better and hopefully, it would be better than the time before the fall from grace. 

The moment was broken though when Kaltenecker headbutted Shiro in the attempt to join in. Being in space was not the best for the poor herd animal and was content getting as much attention as she could get. They let go and laughed and made sure that Kaltenecker got extra scratches before they left the room. 

Lance found his way to Keith soon enough, who was sitting talking to Coran about the Alliance and how they operated in battle. He plopped down and leaned against Keith, who drew him in closer with an arm around him and carried on like nothing had happened. Lance breathed in and out and soon dozed off. 

He awoke with a small shudder and realised his head was on Keith’s outstretched legs and a blanket had been thrown over him.

“Finally got some beauty sleep?”

“Shut up,” he replied, no malice or effort in the retort. At this point it was just friendly banter and Lance had yet to become a functionally human being after his sleep. “Due to unfortunate circumstances, i am what they call - awake.” 

Keith struggled to stifle the giggling and Lance’s smile filled his face. 

“You want some food goo, or Versian food, Hunk’s been down a few times getting supplies, he’s even sussed out pancakes. Or we could experiment and try to make cake?”

“Cake sounds good.”

Cake may have sounded good but after an hour the kitchens, they were both the worse for wear, what could have been flour was everywhere and there was goop everywhere. Keith had wanted to do something to celebrate the long forgotten birthday, and Lance was happy. He really was, Keith must have noticed he was down and honestly, he needed this. This tiny bit of release and freedom and fun. 

“What happened in here?!” yelled Hunk as he entered the kitchens to prepare their dinner, clearly dismayed and appalled, disappointment etched into his face. Lance and Keith looked at each other and ran out leaving Hunk with the mess. They hadn't gotten very far when they heard a voice Lance had dreading being directed at him. His blood ran cold and they turned to face Allura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have no idea when i'll be updating but yeah, the end is now planned out and just got to write the chapters - not sure how many but there will be the chapters and an epilogue and this will be part of a series as i have some one shots from the same universe planned :D 
> 
> As always, thank you to those who comment and Kudo, you guys are the best and help motivate me to actually keep this going!!! And thank you to all who read - youre amazing and wonderful and thank you for staying with this for this long!!!!


	17. I Existed Because I Dreamed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team get their act together and Lotor makes a reappearance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL S3 WAS MORE THAN I COULD HAVE ASKED FOR. And an update on time. what is this?

Allura had walked out of one of the rooms in the castle after meeting with the Balmerans and Olkari when she had seen Lance and Keith walk by. It had warmed her heart that the two had grown close, it was something that Lance deserved and needed. But she did need to talk to him, the sooner the better. She had to apologise and make sure that Lance knew she would be there for him. 

“Lance!” she called out, hoping he would be ok with a talk. Keith and Lance turned to her and she could have sworn Lance looked paler and she thought to herself that she shouldn't have been surprised. 

“Do you have time to talk?”

Lance looked to Keith and back again to her.

“I guess,”

“Keith can come too if it makes you feel better,” Allura hoped it would work, and Lance took a tentative step forwards with Keith at his back. Allura lead them to a plush room, her parents old drawing room. There were portraits all over the walls and there were memories that were seeped into the walls. It had seen a lot and now it would see many things again. Allura had cleaned it out when she had first awoken and sat down on the chaise longs where her father and herself used to read together and cried. The next morning was business as usual and hadn't been here since. But that was the past and she had a future that she needed to focus on and she wanted Lance back in it. 

She could feel Keith staring daggers at her when she welcomed them into the room and took a seat opposite the two of them, who were sitting very close. It was now or never. 

“Lance, there is a lot i need to apologise for, all of them are how I treated you, when you were with us and when you weren’t”

She was sure she heard Keith scoff under his breath and mutter a very dark ‘about time too’ and looked as if there was more that he wanted to say. Lance was a different matter, emotionless and schooled, it was like he was on a diplomatic mission rather than let his true feelings be heard. 

“Lance, there's no good place to start and there's so much I need to apologise for, I want to do better by you. I ignored you and treated you differently when I had no real reason to, other than my own personal feelings that ended up being misdirected at you.”

This was hard and it felt all wrong. This wasn't how she wanted it to go, not so much on Lances part but on hers. She just wished he’d do something, yell at her or anything at this point. Him being all stoic was more uncomfortable but she knew she wasn't entitled to anything Lance could shove her way. 

“I'm sorry, I didn't recognise you as a person and I know your trust is hard to regain and I understand if you don't want anything to do with me or the team. I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry and that it won't happen again, to you or to anyone else.”

She watched Lance murmur something into Keith's ear, who turned to him and gave him a questioning look, shrugged and nodded. He got up and left the room leaving Lance with Allura. 

“Allura, this is probably just as awkward for you as it is for me. There's no need to follow the script everyone else is doing. Just apologizing and listing off their wrongs. You’ve shown me you are trying to change though it's nice to hear it.

“I am still so annoyed and hurt. I was there if you ever wanted to confide in me. I lost my family and home too, maybe not in the same way but i could have been there for you. I wanted you to trust me but you didn't call me by my name when referring to me and I wanted to be there for you. I flirted to help break the tension and I stopped when I realised it made you uncomfortable. But you assumed so much whenever i opened my mouth that anything that came out of it would be bad. Allura, that fucking hurt.

“That being said, I cannot begin to fathom the pressure you are under and without anyone to help deal with it in a healthy manner it can manifest in different ways. In me it's me becoming rather reclusive but for you it is sinking further into the stress and not letting anyone in. like me. So this is me, giving you a hand up, in a way someone did for me. I forgive you. You have changed since I last saw you and i thank you for that. I forgive you, I'm not sure I’ll ever forget but I most definitely forgive you.”

Allura’s eyes started to well up, this was more than she deserved.

“Lance, I, I don't know what to say,”

“I can't stay mad at family for too long, you’re like my sister, you are a sister.”

 

Allura then thought of a peace offering, it was probably something small to him, but she loved having her hair messed with and back on Altea it was a sign of trust. Something ever done between close friends family and lovers. Of course Lance only fell into the first two categories but still.

“There's a hair brush in that top drawer. If you want, I would like to see what styles you can put into my hair.”

Lance got up with a smile and with a small bow muttered “As you wish,” pulled out the brush as sat behind Allura who sat herself on the floor so Lance could have full access. It felt good to have his hands through her hair and they started to talk as Lance started to brush. 

They talked about their childhoods and the silly things they got up to, about their home planets and what certain things looked or felt like, Allura talked of the juniberry fields and Lance talked about the storms he would experience in Varadero. They soon compared altean balls to ceilidhs and Lance had gotten curious.

“If Alteans could change shape, it is limited?”

“Yes unfortunately. We can't change our features or permanent markings. I can appear to be that species but i do not become that species. I can elongate or shorten or change colour. Think of it like what is that creature on earth, a charmeleon?”

“Chameleon,”

“It doesn't change its species it just looks like one. That what it's like for us,”

“Makes sense, I had wondered why your hair remained the same when you and Shiro went on that galra ship,”

“I know i’ve got a long way to go but thank you. Your understanding means a lot to me and i'm sorry if i don't show it often enough. But i will try to be better, towards you and the team.”

“We’ll get there together Allura, and we’ll get there together. Well that's me finished with your hair at least.” they walked over to one of the larger mirrors and Lance held one smaller mirror behind her head so she could see the intricate braiding he had done in her hair.

Braids criss crossed over each other meeting into a bigger braided bun at the bottom with loose hair hanging from the bottom of the bun. Then in that loose hair were braids woven on the outside of it, keeping it together. 

“Lance, this is beautiful,” Allura was nearly speechless, even most alteans couldn't braid this neatly and then looked back at her own attempts to do her hair. She could only do her buns or had it down, but this was spectacular. She saw Lance blush in the mirror as he replied,

“It's based on celtic braiding techniques my grandmother taught me, I just combined two styles and improvised with the bun.”

“Next time there's a ball don't let me forget who i'm going to have do my hair?”

“So Pidge or Keith then?”   
The two laughed and made their way out of the room, they had spent almost two vargas there and the tension between them had eased significantly, with both of them promising to do better for the other. 

 

Lance gave Allura a small hug when they parted someway down the corridor. Keith must have given up waiting as he heard yelling and insults from the training room. There was only one person that called Shiro ‘Old Man’. He smiled to himself and wandered on.

_I'm so proud of you, my sweet precious Lance. You will be known as Lance the Kind, Lance of the Blue Lion. Any other paladin after you will know of you and your heart of tungsten carbide, your strength and forgiveness, they will look up to you and i will never make them feel like they are a replacement for you but they’re own type of paladin._

Boundless strings of loved entered him and warmed him up, knowing he had done the right thing, there were some people in his life he would never be able to forgive. The first person who commented on his dual heritage, they had been children but it left a mark. Then the kids in his final years who should have known better and threw remarks about him all over the place and used him. Iverson and Lotor who didn't need any explanation . Just because he forgave didn't mean he forgot. He remembered and it would take them a very long time to gain back his full trust. 

He hadn't noticed that he had been wondering and had managed to get to one of the less populated areas. Slav was still on board somewhere and so were the Balmerans and the Olkari, the Blades were down in Radiant sharing information with the Alliance and had no real reason to be here anymore. He heard noises behind him and turned, and saw Hunk and Pidge armed with a plate of sculltrite cookies, Hunk picked Lance up in a fireman's lift and turned to walk away with Pidge walking behind them, taunting Lance with the cookies. 

“What, wait. No. KEEEIIITTHHHH” 

“NO KEITH YOU'RE NOT NEEDED.”

“PIDGE!!!!” 

Their yells were echoing around them and they made it to the common room and Hunk gently placed him on one of the sofas and grabbed the biscuits off of Pidge who gave him a disgruntled look and sat on the floor while Hunk placed the plate on a table and himself on one of the nearby sofas. 

“Lance, we’re sorry, and we both need to talk to you but we didn't help when we should have on multiple times or listen but can we start again?” Pidge asked, direct as always though at this point, Lance was glad for the directness. Like the others, it would take time to heal on all part but a step forward needed to be taken. They had made the first and he needed to make the second. So he did.

“You have a lot to make up for you know that right?” he said with a smile, it may not have met his eyes fully but it was nice to see that they were trying even if they did have to sort of kidnap him first. He finally felt ready to talk to them and build up all that trust that had never completely gone away. 

“We know, Coran helped us realise we haven't been fair to you and for a long time. From coming back from Crona or when we found you, getting so wrapped up in ourselves we forgot about you.”

“We are both sorry, Pidge and I, we want to make things right and better than before.”

That was all Lance wanted to hear, and soon enough there were tears in all their eyes, even Pidge who didn't emote very often like this. They all moved to the dining area and kitchings when tea was being served and for the first time in space, they ate a good meal full of conversations, light hearted banter and if anyone looked in on them, they looked like a massive if slightly dysfunctional family enjoying each others company. Lance looked around him and smiled though deep inside he didn't know how long this moment of peace would last. Not because one of them would slip up but how soon the war would come to find them. 

 

Life had not been kind to Lotor, from the very start he was marked throughout the universe, the son of Zarkon. At first he had tried to be good and tired to rebel but when they saw him they just saw his father, half galra and not worthy of the status he was born into. He didn't ask to be born for Galra’s sake. Even though he was legitimate and Zarkon had recognised him as his heir they still refused to accept that half of his blood was not glara. So he became what they wanted him to be and then so much worse. But unlike his father he knew how much better loyalty was than fear. Fear and anger made people rebel, loyalty and love made them die for you. True he may not have been the kindest to some of his shipmen, but rare few saw that side. 

He kept his face perfectly schooled when commander after commander presented their ideas to Lotor about how to defeat Voltron and reclaim their lost planets. Lotor knew exactly how they lost those planets, but for now, the main objective was to take down Voltron, by any means necessary. It had become obvious that Voltron had been out of commision and though he had expected the Blue Paladin to defend Earth, he hadn't anticipated reinforcements and with no discernible ship to mark a planet, he was stumped. 

His most trusted generals, all part galra like himself, were having this meeting but to no avail, the commanders were so stuck in their ways, Zarkon hadn't changed his tactics in so long that this was all they knew. When Lotor had been exiled he built his own army from the ground up and proved to them that he was worth their loyalty. Though he did have a bit of a sadistic flare and wasn't one for Haggar. 

Haggar, who currently couldnt stop following him and questioning every judgment he made. He had threatened Earth to see the well being of the Blue Paladin. He had been surprised. Few could survive the druids and even fewer could survive Haggar and he was the only one to survive Lotor. He felt he should commend him on that but, ala, he was still a pilot of Voltron and an obstacle in his way. 

Then he thought about it, they were expecting his move, like a game of chess, but he was playing a different game with different rules, one he was in control off. He passed his turn and decided to do nothing, he would collect all his cards, and then when the time came, he would play some of the better cards and when victory was assured, he would play the very best cards. And if it went slightly wrong he would have other plans and strategies to fall back on. It was no big deal. 

“Prince Lotor, I strongly advise that we do take action.”

“And we are, we are just strengthening our current resources.”

“By doing nothing about the threat that you are actively ignoring?”

“Correct and i don't want you to send anything after them, it will give them the impression that we care.”

He could see Haggar’s face out of the corner of his eye and smiled at his four generals. None of them had any patentice for the druids as a whole and even less for Haggar. Sensing she would be losing this battle of wills, she turned and stormed out of the room and Lotor was left with his generals. Zethrid looked like she wanted to go hit something, and despite her projection of herself, she really was quite smart. She knew anatomy unlike any being Lotor had ever come across and was rather skilled in first aid.

“Zethrid, I need to spar, Haggar had got on my nerves,” he saw the way her face light up with grim menace and knew that she wouldn't go easy on him. He still had bruises from the last session but he didn't mind. When he wasn't leading his small team, he was rather friendly with them, they all trusted each other with their lives and he didn't know how relieved he would be when Acxa had returned from the weblum. She never really did say how she managed to return alive but after being missing for a month he had gotten worried though they all tried their best to not show it.

Zethrid left them to their business as she went to get some sparring equipment and Lotor turned out to the stars and mutter “your move voltron.”

“Who are you talking to?” Ezor asked, he must have been heard.   
“No one Ezor, just let the fun begin,” he smiled and turned to follow Zethrid down to the rings in his own ship. 

 

At some point during the day, Coran had sent a message down to Barra and Cairn and told them where Lance was. Tea had passed in ease and it was just Keith and Lance in Keith’s room. They weren't doing much but they were basking in each others presence. They both knew it was becoming a matter of time but neither wanted to state it, lest it bring it about. They were content in the bed, Lance safely in Keith’s arms.

“When we get back to Earth, i want you to meet my parents. They’d love you. I know you have Neela now but i'm sure my family would unofficially adopt you. They’d probably see shiro and give him my bed and make sure he’s fed properly and would never have to even see anything to do with space given half the chance.”

“They sound fun,” they really did, it was all Keith wanted as a kid but now he had Lance and a family. “But all i want right now is you to not go anywhere and to come back alive, I don't want to lose you again. I've lost you too many times.”

Keith remembered every single time he had lost Lance, the time the bomb exploded, Lance stuck in situations with people where he couldn't get to him, when Lance was flung halfway across the stars ti crona for the first time. The many times before that fateful day when Lotor got a hold of him. 

Lance turned to face him and made sure Keith was looking into his eyes. 

“I promise, nothing will happen to me. I survived Lotor didn't i? I came back, I will always come back. You can't get rid of me that easily.”

Keith couldn't do anything but stare back. Did he want to kiss him or what, he had no idea because he was lost in Lance’s eyes, so open and sincere and he truly believed what he was telling him. Keith was so lost in Lance and he didn't know what to do next. His feelings were all over the place but Lance was also a very huggy person so this could have been normal for him. Keith would contemplate what it all meant after the war if it ever came but he had Lance for now. Lance was warm and here and he was so lost in his thoughts he hadn't noticed Lance brushing the hair out of his eyes or the arm that had slinked around his waist pulling him closer. He only broke out of his trance when he felt a soft kiss on the top of his head and a mumbled goodnight. 

He stared out into the night and wondered what the hell that all meant. It wasn't that he didn't like it, it was just new and it was _Lance_ , he had just started to get good with him again and he knew exactly who to ask. It was just a matter of time. 

Lance woke up in Keiths arms the next morning and smiled at the bed hair that Keith had, and let himself smile. He didn't know what made him kiss Keith last night, it was a small tender one but it was one he shared with his younger siblings. But he didn't see keith like a brother. Keith was something more. It turned out he had feelings to sort out but they would have to wait till after the war. He closed his eyes but didn't fall back asleep and enjoyed Keith pulling him closer in his sleep before half a varga later waking him and being the first thing Keith saw that morning. 

“Morning sleepy,” he crooned to Keith and gave him a gentle smile which was returned by keith with a smile he had never seen on him before. It looked like contentment and it sent Lance’s heart racing. He realised he had a full night's sleep again and he wasn't complaining and Lance’s own smile grew and he snuggled into Keith once more. Neither of them had the heart to remove themselves from the small bed, but they would they had promised Coran a meeting.

They had breakfast and by corans control panel, a screen that was linked to Barra, Cairn and the entire Alliance was up and transmitting.

“You really think they are ready?” asked Barra.

“I do, they have changed from the better and they need to know, even if it's to avoid interfering with our missions”

“Then we see them later on today. We’ll see you soon.”

Lance looked down forlornly at the space when the screen had been. It was such a big thing to keep hidden from them. He just hoped they would understand and help. His shoulders sagged and he let out a deep sigh. Then there was a hand on his shoulder and another that had slipped into his hand, both of the owns with reassuring smiles on their faces, not to mention Blue threatening murder to any who turned on him again.Best foot forward, he thought to himself, 

“Let's go get Team Voltron.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heheheheheh now the good bit starts, and as it turns out, i can write fluff but why does it turn angsty??
> 
> also thank you for every comment, kudo and read, you guys are amazing and really do help me when i feel like giving this up. we're in the final stages now and i have no idea how many chapters.... opps
> 
> hope you still enjoy this!!!!


	18. I Look At You And Smile Cos I'm Fine Now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Alliance increases and Lance finally finds some peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! 
> 
> This is almost ove and either has 2 or 3 more chapters left!!! I hope this fic had been good and this chapter stands up. 
> 
> There is a referenced ptsd episode but it is from Keiths pov and not in detail either, just the aftermath. 
> 
> Also I've been writing to a lot of music for this and i highly recommend going to the epic world music channel on youtube as ive been writing to the songs on the playlists :D
> 
> Enjoy?

Getting Allura to agree to go down to Radiant had been surprisingly easy, same with the others, though they had no idea why they were being escorted to the State building by Lance and then being flanked by guards. Guards who gave gestures of respect to Lance as he walked by and many others they passed. Keith knew Lance was an important member of the Alliance but he feared what would happen if voltron would be involved, where Lance would stand. Keith didn't want to dwell on it or what it would do to Lance, he had already being compared and contrasted his entire academic life from the Garrison and then in space. This was one of the few places Lance obviously had any praise for his efforts. He sighed and caught up to Coran who was a step behind Lance. 

They were being led down the twisting corridors and he was so disorientated, how did Lance know where he was? He could have sworn he passed that vase five times already, but they hadn't at the same time. It looked like the others were just as lost but Lance just kept on walking until he stopped outside a magnificent door, carved in the wood was a story, story of Versi he presumed. Lance had since explained the embroidery on the clothing he had worn when he first returned to them and why the stories were important. 

Lance knocked and opened the door and before them lay a huge table and at the head were Barra and Cairn and a few others he didn't recognise. Lance put his hand over his heart and gave a small bow while the others gave their own gestures of respect, Coran had also given an Altean salute with Lance’s bow, giving respect from Voltron. They all took their seats and Lance was on Barra’s left hand side and Cairn to his right. Keith looked at them and knew they would be a force not to be reckoned with. They sat tall and proud and so completely in control of the situation with Barra at the head of it all. 

“We have asked you here because you have earned the right for this opportunity. The opportunity to learn what is going on in Versi under the surface, and to be apart of it. For the last decapheeb or so, we have been there to help those against the Galra Empire. We became a beacon for like minded people and we became The Interplanetary Alliance. We are rebels and all those dedicated to freeing the universe but we work together and together we have the strongest chance for freedom.

“We free planets and ensure they have the help and stability to continue and we have our own ways of staying hidden and safe. We offer hope, refuge and the help. Voltron was gone and we needed our own heroes so here we stand. But the times have changed and Voltron has returned, we want to offer our hand in friendship and an offer for you to join us.”

Allura looked torn between the decision to accept and to decline,

“May I have a discussion with my team, Lance included?”

“Yes, of course - we know the decision is one not to be made by one person.”

Cairn and Barra left them and upon their departure, Allura looked to Lance.

“How long have you known?”

“Since my second week on Crona, I kept quiet because I didn't know how you would react or who could over hear, there's more to what happened than I said. I made a promise and I never break them, I have been as truthful as I could.” Lance hung his head and his shoulders were slumped, no longer was he the left hand man to Barra, it was Lance baring his insecurities if anyone looked close enough. 

“Allura, he isn't the only one. When I went to help defend Earth it was with the Alliance, I also promised to keep it secret because, like Lance, I have people to protect. But i honestly believe that if we pull all resources together we can end this war. They already have an end game in play, and if we help, then less casualties will be seen. We can end this quicker and safer than you ever dreamed Princess,” said Keith, all earnest and sincerity. He didn't want Lance taking the fall for them.

“Keith, you don't have to..”

“Lance, I want to ok? I said to you on that ship we are in this together and I mean it.” Keith reached for Lance's hand and held it tight. 

“I also knew, sorry Allura.” 

“Coran you too?” Allura received a small nod and saw the united stand between the three of them. “At least I know where your votes will be. Shiro? You think this is a good idea?”

Shiro paused for a while trying to gather his thoughts and was mentally weighing his options. “I trust Lance’s judgement and I’ve seen some of the work the Alliance has done on Versi alone. Voltron on its own won't be enough to win this war. I say we go for it, obviously work out what would be best for us as well but if it means an end to the Empire, it can only be good right?”

“ I think I know what they mean by their safety measures too. That cosmic chatter we kept on finding, especially when we know for definate that that blue streak was Lance, its them, the Alliance. They must be using a scrambler or something because as far as I can see, to anyone outside of the Alliance its just cosmic noise from something and it resonates at such a frequency, that it needs a special chip to correct the waves, it surrounds this entire planet and most the system too. It keeps these people safe, they've been at this for decapheebs and maybe together we can end this and go home.”

“Pidge you sure?” Allura received a nod and knew that Pidge would stand by their vote and accept the consequences that could follow. “Hunk?”

“I'm not sure, like I trust Lance, but how do we know what will happen after like, they could betray us or end up worse than the galra.”

“We have plans Hunk, I've been helping to make those plans, so trust me we have initiatives that we would implement as well as independent regulators from all planets. It would still be an Alliance, for peace not for war,” Lance’s tone was smooth and calm. “And if not, action will be taken, but the main thing would be that we tried to be better.”

“Alright then, I’m in.”

“I will ask if the alliances we have can be merged, but we will join.” Allura gave them a smile and walked over to lance and flung and arm around him and turned him to face her.

“Don't be worried about offending me or betraying my trust. It would have been far worse to betray these people and I hope one day I can meet the people you are protecting.” She then pulled him into a hug and whispered in his ear “Don't worry, I’m proud of you, thank you.” 

Lance then left to bring Cairn and Barra back in. the rest of the meeting went as smoothly as possible, with the Balmerans and Olkari also agreeing to join after being linked into the meeting from the castle. Keith looked around and he saw a future that could be full of peace. He breathed easily again and then there would be a meeting with all the leaders in the Alliance. It was going to be an exhausting day but it would be worth it. 

 

After the meeting had ended, Allura pulled Lance aside with Baraa in tow. She knew that Lance had been doing a wonderful job on his own and she wasn't about to take that from him. He had grown so much from the flirtatious boy she had taken him for when they had first arrived at the castle and he was leading in a way that she could work with. The way she worked with Shiro was completely different. They were all about whats best for Voltron, but Lance got people and she would need as much help as she could here. 

“Barra, I have one last request and it concerns Lance.”

She saw Lance’s face fall as she correctly assumed that he was thinking the worst, so to prove him wrong she pulled him in close and wrapped an arm around him.

“I want to co-lead with him. He has done a fantastic job here and without him, I’m not sure how helpful Voltron can be, well at least not up to its full potential.”

“He has been one of my strategists too but now we have the Earthens on board they’re sending some of their own to help bia holos but still. I agree, there is something I have for Lance but as long as he doesn't mind the two jobs I have no qualms about that. Lance is an honour to us all.”

“Indeed he is, and I’m happy to have him back with us, especially since we’ve resolved our differences and trying to be better and stronger than ever. You have our thanks for looking after him for us, you and the people of Crona. Is there any way to thank them?”

“Yes, I’ll arrange for a private meeting for you. However I need to take my leave as I have another meeting to attend. I’ll see you in the evening, Lance knows the time and place. Feel free to wander around Radiant as well.”

 

Lance was still in shock and he was stood still while the others all looked at hom for guidance out of the labyrinthine basements of the state building. He had no idea what he was going to do or what. He was so lost in his own mind that it took Keith taking his hand again and giving a gentle squeeze to bring him back to them. 

“Why don't we all go explore Radient a bit more. We can break off if we want to,” Allura said, excitement running through her voice as even she was eager to see what Versi had to offer. Soon enough they had all broken off and Lance was left with Keith, not that he minded but it did mean that he could go see Plutox and Fluro, he knew Maxie would be at school forever and it was Geoghegan’s day with a friend. They swung round by the house and were warmly embraced by the two Galra. The house hadn't changed in the few days but he did notice there were a few more holo pictures on the walls. Holos of him in them with the family. Lance almost burst into tears. 

He knew that he had a home with them, they had taken him in and cared for him but he didn't know that they cared for him to that extent. That there were photos of him with the family on the walls. They truly were a family. 

“It's good to have you back Lance, we’ve all missed you,” Fluro said as they walked into their small kitchen and found some of Lance’s favourite juice. Keith looked surprised when Plutox remembered him and even more surprised when they introduced him to Fluro, who immediately accepted him and then started to bond over “Half Galra Problems”. A joke that they somehow started after Fluro dropped some of the fruit, looked Keith dead in the eye and complained about Half Galra problems. Once Keith had opened up, Lance found that Keith’s laughter was contagious and that when given the opportunity, it was so easy to be let in by Keith. All this revelation did was make his heart go out to Keith all the more. It was probably time to do a lot of soul searching when it came to Keith.

Lance ended up being told about Maxie's antics at school and Keith looked very proud that she had implemented his plan. It was easy to love the two children, they had so much to live for and he would do anything to protect it. They stayed and chatted and they ended up just sharing stories about their adventures in space, particularly Plutox’s impressions of the Galra commanders and Lotor himself. They had a good few vargas together and promised that they would return.  
When they left it was mid afternoon and up on the mountains that encompassed the north of Radiant, Lance took Keith into Blue - who was no help at all, she was asking questions, some very leading questions at that too - and flew up to them. It was the same place he had fled to that one night but there was a storm and he wanted to be in it, and if Keith would allow him, he wanted to just talk and spend time before it all went to shit. He wanted some good memories from his time in space, untainted by torture or recovery. 

_Lance? When you gonna talk to him?_

_BLUE!!! What no just we are friends and thats it._

_Sooooo you definitely don't have feelings?_

_I hate this bond sometimes. Blue I love you but chill. I got over that remember?_

_Yes, little one. Keep saying that._

_I hate you_ Lance sent back with a pout, it seemed like Keith was having a similar conversation with Red because a massive blush had appeared on his face and Lanc was sure there was one on his. Mercifully they didn't bring anything up, both involved in arguing with their overly enthusiastic lions. 

“Lions, am I right?” Lance sent over to Keith,

“Tell me about it. Red’s always like? ‘Yeah this is a good idea. Oooo what's that over there. Destroy it, you wanna.’ Like no Red, I’m not gonna use a lava gun in space on a bloody meteorite.”

“Blue is so persistent sometimes like, shes great for comfort but when she wants something? Always nagging. Especially going back to Crona. Damn she loves that place.”

Blue let out a small growl and decided to barrel roll to make sure that her pilot and passenger knew who was really in control. A few minutes later, they had landed in the mountain ranges. The moons were high in the sky and the twin suns were illuminating the purple snow on the top of the mountains while the clouds moved deftly over head. It was peaceful and the two wondered a little way off from blue and sat in the mouth of a cave and watched as the rain started to fall. 

“I never thought we could make it, I have thought we would end up fighting till the end of days. I only ever wanted to be friends with yous, ever since the Garrison. But now I know you more and I understand that that time was difficult, but damn I wish it didn't take Lotor to make sure this friendship stayed.”

“Lance, I never hated you. I only got into the Garrison because Shiro got me in, he’s my adopted brother. His parents adopted me and when they died, his grandfather took in his sister in Japan but Shiro was in the Garrison at this point and I didn't know his grandfather so i was lost in the UCA and Shiro got me in the programme. 

“He believed in me when no one else did and kept my focus on staying in because it was all i could do. Then Kerberos happened and well, discipline issues meant me screaming at Iverson, which was pretty tame compared to your parents. I saw Iverson when i was in that small town near the Garrison. He took one look at me then ran. He looked terrified of me. I guess he was fired from the Garrison.”

“As much as he hurt me and my family, I hope he finds some peace somewhere. Not happiness but peace. He was as pleasant as a cockroach but he doesn’t deserve to suffer completely,”

“Lance, why do you have to be so damn nice?” Keith murmured, longing etched into his voice.  
Lance pretended he hadn't heard it but shuffled closer to Keith. Then the heavens opened and the rain fell hard and fast.

“Lance?”

“Mmh?” 

“Take my hand,”

And so he did and Keith led him out into the falling rain and placed a hand Lances back and started to waltz to the sound of rain and a song that must have been going through his head. Lance put a hand on his shoulder and let Keith lead them.

“Why?”

“To make up for lost time.”

Lance had no idea what Keith meant but he let his mind ease when Keith lead them through the puddles and the rocks. He felt safe and though he had gone through hell, he had come out stronger and today marked the first day of the future.

Keith felt a weight settle in the crook of his neck and though Lance had a good three inches on him, Lance had placed his head there. He lead them to a stop and embraced him, full of warmth and love. And he did love Lance, he wanted to be in Lance’s life for as long as he could and he just wanted Lance. Despite what the team called him; the loner and the hothead, he did care and he just didnt want to show it. If he started to care, he would care to much and then they would leave. But in the time in space he looked back and realised that Lance had shown over and over again that he wouldnt leave intentionally. He had been forgiven and was seeing a side to Lance he was pretty sure that was only reserved for him now. 

Lance had also promised to let him meet the family a when not an if. He had wormed his way into Keith’s life and he cared so damn much for the man in blue. Keith wished he had paid more attention to Lance in the Garrison, just so he could hear Lance laugh more, see those small smiles and even in the dead of space make a giant space ship seem full of life. Life could go on without Lance and Keith would survive and move on eventually but it wasn't something Keith was focusing on now. Now, he was focusing on the life next to him and enjoying the moment. 

In the valleys, thunder rumbled as lightning shot to the ground and the sound waves made the rocks quake. Lance started to laugh and started to spin in the rain with a grin on his face, taking Keith in tow. Keith was glad to share this moment with him, it was all he wanted in this moment and he was glad to just be twenty and to regain some of the years he had lost being in space. They all had but this was needed. 

They moved back into the cave and huddled close, despite the warm weather they could still catch hypothermia. They sat facing each other and just holding each other, for body heat of course, and let their forheads touch and their breathe mingle. 

Soon enough the rain moved on into the next valley and the twin suns shone through again, Lance led Keith into Blue and changed out of their wet clothes into the spares Lance kept in Blue. Keith had a feeling it was because of all the times Lance had been lost on his own, always through no fault of his own, it just turned out that wormholes really had it out for the poor guy. 

Keith really did try his best not to look at Lance, the scars on his back were horrific. There was the burn from the blast in the first week in space, five arusian days in and Lance was ready to give his life a man he didn't even know properly, Lance was always the one who was willing to die if need be and that really did upset Keith. The rest of his back was a patchwork of scars from various missions. The rest of Lance’s body was no better and showed all the pain he had endured, there were many all over his face, the most prominent being a long line down across his left eye to the right hand side of his chin. His beautiful brown skin was no longer flawless and the lighter scar tissue was the first thing a person would see looking at him, not the shining personality or the man who had Keith’s heart so tenderly held. Somehow he knew which of the scars were the ones he received from his time on Lotors flagship and which were the ones that had partially healed in the healing pods. There were so many and it made Keith's heart break into to so many pieces.

When he had pulled on a jumper, he walked over to Lance who had caught himself in a mirror and was standing with a glazed look on his face. He didn't know what was running through Lance’s head but he stood in front of him but allowed Lance space and spoke gently.

“Lance, you’re in Blue, it's me Keith, you're not there, you're with me, you're safe, we danced in the rain. Lotor can't find you here,”

“This is a trick, the real Keith wouldn't do this. Go away, GET OUT!” Lance yelled as he folded in on himself.

“Blue, help him please, I tried, please Blue. I’ll do anything,” He begged his voice was cracking and tears were falling down his own face as he got out of Blue and sat in her mouth out of the wind. Though the wind still whipped around him and his hair fell in his face the suns had fully set and the moons were indeed visible from Versi and they did look incredible. He was startled from his reverie when Blue gave a low grumble signaling Keith to go back in, and he did. Lance was sitting in the cockpit in the largest jumper and comfy trousers and curled up in a ball with tear marks running down his face. 

“Lance?”

All that came back was a sniff, dbut undeterred Keith walked up to the seat and knelt in front of it so Lance could see Keith.

“Lance, this doesn't make me like you less, your scars or the PTSD. I won't go unless you want me to, I want to be here for you, now and for the rest of your life if you’ll let me.” Keith then sat cross legged by the chair and let his head hang in the silence. It wasn't a full confession, he wanted to do that under better circumstances but Lance needed to know he wasn't alone in the slightest. 

“Lance, these scar do _not_ define you, you are so much more than them. They are not your personality or the way you want to see the good in people and the way you make people feel so at home. Lance, you’ve turned into my home.”

Lance didn't respond verbally but a hand reach out from the Lance-ball and Keith took it gratefully. He made himself comfy and asked Blue to fly them back to the castle. It took a while with both Blue and Keith soothing Lance but they were soon back on the ship and Red was already waiting and growled in appreciation. Blue let them out before curling up with her sister and Keith carried Lance bridal style. Lance was clinging on for dear life and had his head buried in between his arm and Keith’s chest, a fact that did not escape Keith as he took them up to his room. He had sent a message to Allura explaining the situation and received one back saying that Lance wouldn’t have been needed in the meeting - it was more of an introduction for the rest of the Alliance rather than any formal meeting. 

Once in his room, Keith placed Lance down on the bed and took off Lance’s shoes for him and placed them next to his own next to the door. He pulled the duvet up over Lance and found him something to snuggle into. He made to turn a way but a small tug on the jumper stopped him.

“Stay, please,” 

Lance’s voice was so small and afraid, Keith melted there and then.

“Of course I will, I’ll be on the floor, I won't be going anywhere.”

“Even if that was a hallucination it was a good one, stay with me, I don’t want to be alone.” 

Lance wasn't the most lucid and he had a feeling that was one of the worst ones judging by how long Blue took to get Lance to a stage where he could function somewhat. Gently, Keith climbed in next to Lance, got comfy and wrapped an arm protectively round him and tangled a leg between Lance’s, all the while asking if it was ok for Lance and for Lance to provide boundaries. As soon as they had gotten comfy the lights in the room turned off and the paint Keith had painted on the alcove to the bed started to glow, random lyrics and quotes written on there. The dim light eased them off to sleep. 

 

Lance woke up the next morning curled into something, hard yet soft at the same time and so very warm. He remembered what had happened last night but a lot of it was hazy and fuzzy with the only constant was Blue in his mind and Keith by his side. Seeing his face in a mirror had sent everything back into the cells and the troubles it had since caused. Even though he had retreated far into himself, Keith was there, asking about boundaries and making sure he wasn't alone. He also had the feeling he said something last night that he would severely regret now. Keith didn't deserve that, he would apologise and hopefully move forwards. 

Lance moved to get a bit more comfy and pulled whatever he was gugging closer to him and his nose was tickled by soft strands of hair, dark raven hair. Dark raven hair that formed a mullet. He was in its owner's bed, snuggling up with him. He knew his memory was hazy but what the fuck had he done. Reluctantly he relinquished his grip on Keith and turned over and scooted over the cool bed towards the wall. He would have to leave but not disturb Keith. Sweet Keith who looked at peace in sleep, the frown still remained but it was cute on him, it was Keith. He moved to the end of the bed and slid out trying not to make a noise. Despite his best effort, Keith stirred awake, woken by the lack of heat that had suddenly been removed from his side. 

“Lance?”

He returned it with a small noise and watched in horror as Keith turned to face him and he could have just died when he saw the small smile on Keith’s face. He wasn't expecting that, at all. What did Keith do for him last night?

“You don't need to leave Lance, I want you here.”

Lance refused to let tears form and blinked what ever had started away. 

“Why Keith?”

“Why wouldn't I? You make this all worth it, because I like you. You're my impulse control and so much more to me. Lance as I said last night, these scars aren't you and I still think you're still the beautiful man behind them. They show how much you have given, Lance, let me be there for you,”

Lance moved back onto the bed but just sat there. Keith’s arms made their way around his waist and and rested his head on Lance’s shoulder.

“What did I say last night Keith?” the lump that had started to grow increased ten fold. 

“Not much. You thought I wasn't the real me at first but Blue was there for you. The rest of it was yes or nos depending on what was happening.” 

Lance remembered few things but he was glad he hadn't said anything worse. What happened in those moments weren't truly him, it was the part of him that was concerned only for survival and getting out of the hell.hole his mind had entered. 

“Keith, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that to you. I know that you care about me. I am so thankful for that but that still doesn't excuse that part of me. It's still me and I can't blame my PTSD on that. It's still a part of me.”

“I knew that but I accept your apology, Lance by the end of this we will go somewhere on Earth and we will have a holiday. And the world will be safe and sound and we can be twenty. This isn't an if but a when, like me meeting your family. Lance, if you’ll let me, I want to be here for everything. The good times and the fun but I want to be there for your bad times to and the ones between us, even if they're not the best of times. 

“What I'm trying to say is that I like you, so much more than a friend. You're my best friend and there's no one I’d want to spend my life with, I know I may not always be good with words but let me try.” 

Lance could feel his cheeks flush red and all his feelings came into sharp relief, the sense of longing when Keith wasn't around and the uncontainable happiness he felt when Keith laughed because Lance made a joke. The sense of belonging that followed when he spent time with Keith being, in hindsight, almost domestic with him. He loved the way Keith stood by him and how he defended Lance. He loved Keith's soft heart that was hidden by thorns but it cared so much. He loved the small smiles and as much as he teased Keith for it, he really did love his hair. Hjs crush hadn't be squashed but it lay dormant and found its way back in subtle ways until it was unavoidable.

Lance knew that this wasn't something Keith was used to so he turned to face Keith, and made sure not to break contact. He lifted a hand to Keiths cheek and fave it a small stroke which Keith seemed to savour and made sure Lance looked into the dark grey eyes he had come to adore.

“Yes, a thousand times yes.” He placed his hand on the back of Keiths neck and gently pulled him close so that their foreheads touched once more. “But I expect a proper first date when this is all over, dinner flowers the works.” 

Keith started to giggle which then turned into full blown contagious laughing. He collapsed into Lance's lap as he was laughing so hard he couldn't sit up properly. Lance saw an opportunity and ran his fingers through Keith's hair, what he didn't expect was for Keith to turn to putty. The small soft sounds of pleasure that came from Keith made Lance's heart soar. He then had an idea, and moved, a process which Keith vehemently disagreed with. After a minute or so of rummaging Lance found a brush and some leather ties. He plopped himself down behind Keith and started to brush his hair and once all the tangles were free he started to braid the front into a french braid and the pulled the rest into a pony and then wrapped the end of the braid around the ponytail and tied it all together with the leather strap. 

Keith reached up to feel what Lance had done and turned to smile at him. Lance had done a better job than he had thought as there were baby hairs that had come loose but they feel gently over his face. 

Unfortunately, like all good things the moment had to end and breakfast would be served and they had battle planning down on Versi soon after. They got up and changed into their paladin armour, how did the castle have all this endless supply Lance thought to himself, and walked down the corridor hand in hand and took their seats together and fresh food go was brought over to the table by small droids the Olkari had designed.

When breakfast was over they packed the Olkari and Balmeran leaders into the lions and descended. Throughout the journey down, Lance tried to ignore Blues smug pride and jubilation, she wasn't speaking to him as such but she was most different images of locations with the intent of scoping out potential honeymoon sites. 

When they landed on Versi, Lance took everyone to the war room. Lotor had been playing it quiet and everything carried on as if the galra weren't invading. Which they weren't. Everything seemed off and a state of emergency had been called. The entire alliance had at least one member in this meeting via holo or in person. 

Lance took his normal seat to Barras left and Allura sat to his side, her pink paladin armour was on as well as a face that even Zarkon would have fled from. Her look was mirrored in so many others, they all wanted this war to be over and here was the chance. To Cairn’s side sat Plutox with a communicator chip he recognised, ready to introduce their secret to the Alliance and how to protect themselves from it. 

They listened to the intel that came and at times at such a great cost that could have been prevented. Planets that had been lost and locations of galra fleets. That said fleets were returning to the shattered Galra home planet. It wasn't just one or two but all of them. Lotor wasn't just being quiet. He was collecting his resources. Military and prisoners alike. Lance didn't want to know what Lotor was planning but he knew it wouldn't be good. They all sat there is discussed their original plan and Lance looked to Plutox who nodded and started up the communicator chip and showed the universe a united community of Nagari with Sholta at the helm. Many cried out in fright and others looked in horror and awe as Lance was quite at ease with the terrible beasts. He explained what had happened from Crona to Versi and why he was two versian days early. The readily agreed and they soon had emf protectors on all their ships. When it could, the Alliance moved fast, and Plutox had already seen to it. Lance placed the plan he and his crew had made just days before and explained how it would work, and a bait too tempting for Lotor to resist. They then added Voltron i to the plan, using Lances as a cornerstone and build up and out delegating fleets and small dub sectors to the many many leaders who came up with their own tactics but under one unified banner. They would all be mixed up, even some being placed on the Castle of Lions to make use of the weapons system. 

The meeting continued in the same feeling of improvement until everyone had learnt it, and everyone knew where they were to be as they would be converging on the ruins of Galra to meet in two quintents time.

The meeting had taken up most of the versian day but one question still remained. Could Voltron still be formed?

Each paladin went to their lions and flew them a little way out of the city, and Lance felt the tremble on his hands and arms as they got closer. What if he couldn't do it or he was the reason they fell apart? He told himself he was being stupid but the thoughts didn't leave. As if sensing Lance’s discomfort Shiro spoke into the comms. 

“Think of us forming Voltron, united no matter what. We are a family and no one will be left behind. Even if we can't form Voltron we are still paladins and we fight as one.” 

Lance relaxed into his bond with Blue and immediately saw through her eyes and he felt out to the others who in turn reach out to him and then there was Voltron standing over Radiant. It was the best they had formed in the time they had been in space. All honest with each other and so attuned to the thoughts and needs of the lions and themselves. 

“I'm a leg again!” yelled Hunk, who started to laugh as amusement became prevalent in the bond they shared. 

“Lance, you feeling what I'm feeling,” asked Shiro.

“Yeah I am and placed his bayard into the slot and Voltron had a rifle in hand.

“Pidge now you,” 

And then they shot the rifle and a tree soon grew from the spot that the blast had landed. They had found that they could make combinational weapons. 

Allura was practically screaming at them with her enthusiasm and they soon broke apart and made it back to the state building. 

Soon it turned to night and those who could, stayed for a last meal in the state building. They had a day and a half to arrive and Allura would be worm holing them all, with Voltron going through last. The team soon left for the castle and Lance removed his communicator chip and called home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you sooo much for sticking with this, it makes me so happy knowing people like this and im sorry if it hasnt delivered and i can understand you abandoning it. the end is near and i really hope you guys like it. I know this isnt popular and but it really does make me happy reading your comments and seeing the email with the kudos from the day.
> 
> I appreciate any and all comments, kudos and reads. This has been longer than i planned and changed so much from when i first started and iu cant wait for you to see the end. 
> 
> You guys are amazing and as always you can always come yell with me on tumblr!!!!


	19. Boy You Was Battle Born

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second to last chapter is here!!! This has been written on my phone and tablet as my laptop went bust so sorry about typos. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!!!
> 
> Also chapter is dedicated to Triggeringangel, kakito sougo and somethingcool421 - you guys are amazing and you know the rest :)

“Lance I swear if you die out in space I will personally learn necromancy just to kill you again.” 

“But Anna, you'd be arrested and never get to enjoy space.”

“Space schmace, anything to satisfy my need for vengeance on my nincompoop of a brother. And also you’d still be dead when I kill you again. Necromancy is reanimation not actual life so there.” Anna stuck her tongue out and caused the triplets and Lance to fall into hysterics. 

“You two behave,” Rosa said playfully and she saw Lances serious expression. 

“It’s the final battle, I could be home soon but if I don’t make it, please make sure my friend always has a home with you. He means so much to me and I wouldn't want him alone on Earth, he has only just recently found his mother but I want him to have a home.” 

If he died he wanted Keith to find somewhere he would belong and if anyone would be able to help him it would be the McClain - Ramirez family. Lance knew that his family would accept him and give him a home he deserved. But he wasn't going to let it come to that, he knew his worth and he had so many teams to watch his back while he watched everyone else's. He had Voltron, Sekhmet and her team, so many people that he had talked to whom had gone so far to propose to him. He had people who wanted to see him.home safe to wherever it would be. 

He was brought back when his mother replied to him,

“Of course we will. If he’s family to you then hes family to us. That include Plutox, Fluro and their kids. They would also have our protection and support.”

“Thank you Mama,”

“You come home then. You come back to me for more than a day. Don't die, we only just got ypu back for real.” He could hear the tears and the sob that she was trying to surpres.

“I will Mama, when have I ever not come back?” 

“I know Estrella, just there's a first for everything.” 

Lance looked to his family and knew it could be the last time he saw them but the universe was bigger than one person. He knew there was a first for everything but he knew that he would make it back to them and no force in the universe would stop him.

“I love you all, so so much.” His own voice was starting to crack, and he felt his eyes start to water. But he refused to cry, not in front of his family. He looked back to them with his love for them evident in his smile, his eyes and the way he held himself as they ended the video and audio links. He sighed deeply and moved on. He knew his place in this universe and it was apart of Voltron defending the universe he didn't have the means to dwell on himself.

He had spoken to them the night before on Versi and now again this morning as in the afternoon they would be shipping out to the front line. So many people were already waiting and there were so many people, Lance didn't know where to look. Keith hadn't left his side either, being a rock for him to cling on to when Lance felt lost in the crowds. For being a people person, he felt quite out of place , there was so much going on and people were getting to know their new teams as everyone was interspersed as they had when they fought for earth. He walked through the streets of Radiant till he came to the small house he had found a home in and kneeled to greet the two children running towards them as well as their father. 

 

Lotor knew exactly what was happening. He had gathered a lot of his forces to his flagship, he knew an attack was imminent. Hid tactics of not retaliating had put his enemies on edge and they saw his use of defence as sign of his weakness that he could be attacked. Oh how wrong they were. He had even got Haggar on his side now. He was right when love inspired loyalty better than fear. He had only called on the galra troops, his enemies would not know of the traps his people had set for them or the ambush they were walking into. 

Although he didn't know how many he would be facing, he could safely assume they had been amassing for some time if they thought they were ready to overthrow him. He brought up some star maps and charts, highlighted on it were the locations of the traps. He stared at it, deep in thought and kept moving it around positioning his troops and those who were loyal to him. He tried to figure out what his enemies would be doing. He had to get a better name for them, though he was under no doubt that the Blue Paladin would be among them. 

Lance. That infuriating boy. He had made a fool of Lotor too many times. As much as he wanted to see him suffer at his hands, he wasn't going to take anymore chances with him. He had already evaded him twice, he hadn't even noticed when Lance had boarded his own ship. He had embarrassed him and it made some of his commanders doubt him, despite the fact this Lance had been the only person to ever do so. He had accomplished more than his father had and in a shorter space of time. Lotor was better than his father ever could be and he would not lose what he had inherited when his father finally kicked the bucket. 

Of course he felt like he had inherited Haggar breathing down his neck, constantly challenging his every move like she was his mother or something, but he had to admit that the Robeasts were one of the few things that even Voltron had trouble defeating. Though it seemed to make Haggar happy that he had asked for several of the beasts and had even started to see where he was coming from in terms of his strategy. He was never a full blown assault kind of person but meticulously planned and strategised moves were completely in his style. 

Lotor had survived a lot in this life and he had his own scars from trust that had been quickly lost. But he had pulled through and he would in this. He would win and once he had, he would ensure that he had absolute loyalty. But not through fear. He knew from his own experience with his father and what he had seen in the empire, that fear only inspired rebellion. The only people he was loyal to was himself and those closest to him. His generals had stuck with him and they had been a close knit family, all of them left to die and full of spite and the drive to prove them wrong. 

So what if some of their methods were a bit more questionable? He ruled with an iron fist but he was fair, he let them rule themselves as long as the acknowledged him as their main leader and came when called he couldn't care less. Sure he had some tendancies that other people question but he found that people didn't care if it didn't effect them. Sure he had a sadistic side but it's not like he used it against his own people. 

 

He turned away from the star maps and put on armour and walked down into the corridors into the arena. His armies had all gathered and were packed into the stands with their attention all on Lotor. One wormhole away, Barra stood at the helm of his ship, his image in every ship, city and planet that thought that life could be better. 

“Today, we fight for our way of life,”

“To be free of the tyranny that has plagued us,” 

“We fight the scourge that has decided to kill us, to destroy our lives and split our families,” 

“We will protect those who aren't able to, we will protect the quintessence of every life, being and planet in this universe and the next,” 

“Under my father, the Empire was feared and because of that fear, people sought to destroy us, but I say no more. We will fight for our Empire, and we will win, we will prove to be superior and they will see the error of their ways. We will win and then no one in the universe will stop us. They will be begging to come to us,”

“For too long we have all suffered, all of us, Galra and Non Galra alike, and today we say no longer. Today we stand and fight and even if we fail we will die knowing we tried. We tried to be better and we tried for a better future. We will try and history will remember us.”

“Today we will eliminate all those who oppose us and be victorious. We will show the universe who truly are the rulers of the universe. Vrepit Sa!” 

“We will fight and we will never surrender. Even if those of us who fight today die, remember us, fight in our names and our cause and one day we will be free. We will never surrender, but today. We fight, for ourselves, for our planets, for our freedom!”

 

Lotor could feel the energy in the area a and knew it was ending broadcast to the entirety of his fleets and the empire itself. Cries of Vrepit Sa reverberated in the area and he smiled, pure and cunning, he knew he had them in the palm of his hand, his general as came out to flank him and he pulled on his helmet. Oh how he was going to enjoy fucking Lance and his comrades over, so very, very much. 

 

In his lion, Lance watched Barra address everyone, it wasn't so much of a rally or victory cry but it sure would be a reminder. They had tried and they existed and the next time someone wanted to overthrow the Galra Empire, that they weren't alone. 

“Allura to Alliance Ships, wormhole opening in five, four, three, two, one.” 

The wormhole opened up in front of them and they all went through. When they came out the other side, lotor said forces were waiting for them, and immediately started to fire on them. Lance had never seen so many ships in the same place and many of their own ships were piling in, the had the sense to open multiple wormholes and attack from all directions, though they split up the lions to give better coverage on entry. 

He and Blue were already firing ice beams all over, ships were encased in ice and then blown to smithereens by those who came through next. And the fire didn't stop coming from both sides. It felt too easy for Lance, there was no resistance. There were explosions all around as both sides let their lasers loose on each other. 

What a sight, he thought. What a horrific sight. So much killing. Soon enough he would have so many unknown names he would add to the list of the dead. Laser beam after laser beam he shot at the galra ships. He tried to aim for the main areas with non lethal shots. Droid based fighter pods came out and those he would happily destroy, and he did, Blue’s claws destroying them and the explosions taking out others that flew past it. 

“Right, that's everyone, form Voltron!” Allure yelled over the comms, she and Coran were providing fire from the castle. Despite the heavy fire, Lance managed to get to the team, and he felt them all. Pidge’s hesitation , Hunks nerves. Shiro’s tension and Keith's determination. He knew his regrets were seeping in as well but he tried to push them aside and clear his emotions completely, to detach himself.

They formed Voltron but is was uneasy but the bonds were strong. But Lance still felt off. This was all too easy, too tactical. Too droid like. As soon as Lance realised it, they all felt it.

“Lance?” Asked Shiro, 

“It's a trap. An ambush. It's what I would do, what I have been doing,” it was all his fault, he was getting them all killed. In the Alliance frequencies, he heard cries of pains and yells, like they were walking into invisible things. Traps, designed to incapacitate them while the artillery bought them down. So many people were dying, and it was his fault it was his plan look where it had got them with his stupid fucking plan…

“Lance! It's not your fault Lance, we knew Lotor would have something planned. Lance, we all worked on this plan, it's not your fault,” Keith's voice brought him out of his panic as they pushed forwards using the shoulder gun with Pidge’s tree bullets as they liked to call them. They had taken out most of the droids and ships and he thought he heard cheering over the comms and opened that link. 

“It's not over, they were droids. The worst is yet to come.” 

If there was ever a time Lance wanted to be wrong, it was now. Unfortunately he was right. One by one, ships materialised as they warped in from space. Countless ships that were no longer Galra descended upon them, at the helm of the incoming chaos was Lotor’s flagship. 

“Oh no.” Lance had no idea who had said it but they saw the Robeasts that flanked the ships, more than he could imagine. Dread ran through him. They were all going to die and Lotor would make sure that those deaths were not painless. 

“Take out the flag ship, we have the Robeasts and ships.” Barra yelled down the comms. If they could take Lotor out they could potentially help with the rest. They were so close, so very damn close. While the ships took on the Robeasts and the rest of Lotor's fleet using the traps they had already encountered and finding that they could out maneuver the bulkier designs of the ships that came to Lotor's aid. 

The flagship started to fire upon Voltron immediately and knew that there would be a tough battle, he hoped that their own secret would turn up soon, they seemed to be in need of them. 

Voltron let loose on the ship, sword swinging and trying to get rid of the weapons systems. As they flew by the bridge of the ship, Lance looked in and saw Lotor's generals. But no Lotor. Of course Lotor wouldn't be in his ship, especially when he _knew_ that the flagship would be Voltrons first target.

Lance knew the realisation would sink into the bond but they had no choice but to keep going. There were even more explosions and debris was shot into space. Bodies, bits of metal and other such things were floating around and though they had made some dents in the ship, it's armour was too thick and the firepower just kept on coming. 

The first wave came torrenting towards them, rocking everything with the momentum it had. Then enemy ships lost their power and it was only a matter of time before they restarted. Lance had the feeling that after his break in on Lotor's ship, it was a precaution Lotor was smart enough to plan for. More and more ships around them were torn to pieces as one by one the Alliance ships started to make more ground. Then he saw a familiar sight, the white against the black of space, huge figures came out of the darkness and started to tear into the enemy Robeasts destroying them in seconds.

Like Lance had predicted, in five dobashes the ships had gained their lower and thankfully for the Alliance no Robeasts were in use, all floating becoming space debris. They had all been destroyed. Then the faces became clear to all on the battlefield, the Nagari tearing into all that came, their skin impervious to the laser fire and they were a truly terrifying sight and Lance saw how legends were born. 

When the ships started to move again he noticed a small pod attach itself to the main ship.

“Barra! Get everyone off the ship now!” His panic then tore Voltron apart, and he flew Blue out into the battle.

“Lance!” Multiple voices spoke to him but it didn't matter he knew that figure that was cutting a hole in the hull. He wouldn't let Lotor hurt anymore people. He left Blue when he got close enough and saw that people were evacuating the ship on the other side. He jet packed into the hole Lotor left and stalked him. Then there was a detonator next to him, he jumped from his position though the shock wave propelled him into the ground.

Lotor knew how was onto him and he saw how foolish this was, it was Keith going after Zarkon all over again. But this time, it was personal. He would take Lotor in and make sure he would face justice. He listened for foot falls and then he heart the us sheathing of a blade and then a knife was embedded into the wall next to him.

“Next time I won't miss,” his disembodied voice floated down, teasing him, taunting him. Lance knew that he needed the high ground, he needed to be able to make the shots. He knew he was going off plan but then so had Lotor. He should have expected this but he was not going to let Lotor go. He followed Lotor's foot step as quietly as possible and he was glad that there should have been no one on the ship left. But he knew where Lotor was heading and he hoped against hope that they had all left.

It didn't take long and then he saw the worst as he peered around the corner. Lotor had Barra, Cairn and some other of the leaders were stuck with Lotor behind them, blocking the last pod. He made his way back and shimmied into an air vent. As silently as possible he made his way in the vent, his bay and formed a rifle and he positioned himself. 

“Come out, come out wherever you are,” crooned Lotor, and it sent shivers down his spine. He blocked out all memories and focuses on the task ahead.

_Blue get ready for passengers._

He breathed and fired, and screams came as Lance shot a warning and Lotor shot one of the leaders, point blank and dead. 

“Sekhmet, I know you have your ordered but come here now.”

“We already are. Barra called us in after Voltron fell apart.” 

“Like old times?” 

“Like old times.” 

“Strategy 57 then,” 

“You got it boss.” 

He held his nerve while he saw his team enter through the air lock. Lance then shot at the bindings that had everyone bound together. Sekhmet then hit Lotor over the head with the butt of her own rifle and in his shock fell unconscious. They began to move everyone into Blue and those who couldn't fit where shuttled onto the last pod. Soon enough wit was just Lance and Lotor, who hadn't stayed unconscious for long. Lotor was cornered against the wall and his hands were bound and any weapon was kicked out of his way. Even if he did break free Lance was more than a match for him now. His close combat had improved and his ranged skill were like no one had seen before.

Outside the ship the battle still raged and with the Nagari on their side, the Alliance was winning. He saw streaks of colour as the lions flew around and he smiled to himself. 

“Don't look so smug. You'll never take me.” And he clicked a small switch and a countdown could be heard. In his desperation he lobbed Lotor out of the air duct where Sekhmet was waiting with her own pod and for good measure he shot Lotor in the leg and arm to incapacitate him. He was to face justice. 

Lance then ran for the air duct his jet pack in full power and then he heard the explosion and felt the heat. The ship's walls blew apart and Sekhmet’s ship zoomed of in the attempt to save themselves. On all comms he hear yelling. Two voice though were loud and clear. Keith and Plutox. 

Honestly there were worse ways to die. He could say he fought and survived and that he died for a good cause. He let his mind go blank and a song from long ago floated into his head. 

_And now, the end is near_  
And so I face the final curtain  
My friend, I'll say it clear  
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain 

He heard Keith yelling his name. 

“No, no LANCE!!! YOU CAN'T JUST DIE ON ME NOW!” But Lance knew Keith would survive and he would have a family, the one he never had.

_I've lived a life that's full_  
I've traveled each and every highway  
But more, much more than this  
I did it my way 

Plutox was crying and yelling, begging for someone to help Lance. For all that he had done for him, the alliance and the universe that he deserved to live. Dear sweet Plutox, Lance knew his time had come, he had made his peace and he was thankful for all the galra had done for him.

_Regrets, I've had a few_  
But then again, too few to mention  
I did what I had to do  
And saw it through without exemption 

He heard his team yelling and trying to go back for him but the explosion was engulfing him and the only reason he wasn't burnt to a crisp was the air lock but even then he felt like he was being boiled alive. They wouldn't find him in time. Sekhmet had to get Lotor to Barra and to ensure the other's safety. 

 

_I planned each charted course_  
Each careful step along the byway  
And more, much more than this  
I did it my way 

 

He heard Coran yelling and pleading, Shior desperately trying to organise a rescue while fighting off Galra and enemy pods and Pidge yelling that they would be covering this explosion, that they weren't going to let anyone get to him. Allura was yelling at him, promising hell if he didn't make it back, that they couldn't lose, him that she couldn't lose him again. Lance could tell they were all crying but not that it mattered, he wasn't long for this world. 

_Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew_  
When I bit off more than I could chew  
But through it all, when there was doubt  
I ate it up and spit it out  
I faced it all and I stood tall  
And did it my way 

He heard Hunk sobbing and it broke his heart. It wasn't as if he meant for this to happen but he had grown accustom to death. He had dealt it to so many, it was only right that it should come back to bite him. The only person who could have understood eas Shiro, when both of them faced certain doom and defied their stars and lived longer than either had hoped. 

_I've loved, I've laughed and cried_  
I've had my fill my share of losing  
And now, as tears subside  
I find it all so amusing 

He couldn't stand it anymore, there was too much sorrow and he reached up and turned the comm links off on all frequencies. He let his mind wonder to his family, the earth and everyone he had met and he prayed to whoever was listening that the people he killed found peace. 

_To think I did all that_  
And may I say - not in a shy way  
Oh no, oh no, not me  
I did it my way 

 

He then heard Blue. Pure, sweet beautiful.Blue.

_Lance, no, Lance. My paladin. Hold on I'm coming._

“Save everyone Blue. Please, for me. Know that you were the best. I love you so much. I'm sorry it ended like this,” 

_Lance, my sweet one, Lance, Lance …_ her voice calling his name became a mantra in his head as the heat and the flames started to get to him. Hr could already feel himself starting to fade. 

_For what is a man, what has he got_  
If not himself, then he has naught  
To say the things he truly feels  
And not the words of one who kneels  
The record shows I took the blows  
And did it my way  
Yes, it was my way 

Lance smiled to the stars and the explosions around him and closed his eyes. The light still burned through his eyelid. The world didn't fade to black nor was there a light to reach for. One moment Lance McClain existed in the universe and one shaky breath later, he ceased to be, just another body in the wreckage. 

 

Keith was beside himself with panic as where the others and Red, especially as they felt Blues pain and anguish as she could do nothing to save her paladin.

“Red, we’ll survive the heat yes?” 

A defiant roar answered him and the took off into the explosion and he yelled Lanxess name into the comms hoping to give something for Lance to hold on to. He couldn't hear anyone else over the rushing blood in his ears and his focus was on Lance alone. They had almost won the battle and it had been the final play for both sides. Do or die and Keith refused to let their sides price be Lance's life. 

As soon as he entered into the debris and clumps of hot gasses he was looking for a tiny human body. It took a few minutes but there was Lance in the rapidly cooling gases in the vacuum of space. Ref opened her mouth and gently caught him. Hiding in the debris from the fight, Keith ran to Lance and pulled off his helmet and tried to get oxygen back into his lungs. Tried to get his weak pulse to pull him back. Lance's heart beat was failing and so agonisingly slow and he thought he could see a smile on Lance's lips. He started Cpr until the castle arrived where Allura and Coran had taken him and would try their best. He knew Lances chances were next to none as he was technically dead and cpr so very rarely worked. But he had hope and he collapsed on to his cockpit chair and as exhausted as he was, he went back into the fray, all guns blazing making sure the Empire paid hell for taking Lance away from him.

The Nagari really were the turning point in the battle. It had waged for hours before their arrival and for another hour and now it was dying down. Most of Lotos forces were making a strategic retreat to wherever they had come from and soon cheers were filling every ship except those on the Castle of Lions. 

Many peoples lives had been lost including a lot of the leaders. Cairn had gone in fighting and was currently in a healing pod where it was hoped she would survive after taking a shot to protect Barra and half of Lance's team lay dead in space. Sekhmet was near inconsolable. Half her family was gone. 

The leaders were on board the castle and despite the amount of people on board, there was no life, no noise, no Lance. 

It was worse than before and Keith sat on his own and waited for whatever happened next, but without Lance, Keith felt it wouldn't be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me - there's still another chapter left!!!!! 
> 
> Thank you for sticking with this to this point - every comment, kudos and read is so so appreciated and you guys are wonderful!! 
> 
> But please, don't hate me for this chapter....


	20. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They deal with the aftermath Lance leaves and go back home to earth, for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I cant believe this is over!!!! ive put so much into this and im glad to share it all, you guys who have read this have been amazing especially dealing with all the shit ive put into this. thank you for every comment, kudo and read and this is part of a series and there will be oneshots and a small sequel to come!!!!
> 
> this is dedicated to: Jadegem02, KakitoSougo, hybridkitsune, triggeringangel and somethingcool421!!! you guys have been amazing from the very start and your support for this fic has been a great motivator in my writers block!
> 
> so thats the endn of the gushing enjoy!!! And thanks again to somethingcool421 with the help on some elements here :D

Keith had been right. He could survive without Lance but that didn't mean that he wanted to. The castle had been quiet and even though they had won, they had honestly lost too much for Keith to care. Telling Lance’s family was one of the hardest things he had ever done. He was on the verge of tears and they looked so happy and their faces fell. The team had decided that Keith was the best person. Hunk and Pidge were nigh on inconsolable and Coran had shut himself off and Allura and Shiro were busy with the Alliance. So it fell to Keith. Lance’s family thanked him for telling them and opened their home to him as Lance had wanted. He had no idea how they knew Lance meant him but his tear stained face must have said it all. 

In the weeks that passed, Blue refused a new paladin and the only person she lit up for as Keith, her pain echoing his. The castle had never been so occupied but it had never felt so devoid of life to Keith, not even Shiro could fill that wonderful Lance shaped hole he had in his heart. This why he never let people in, Lance didn't mean to leave but fate had taken him. His heart was heavy and all he wanted to do was curl up and be nothing. 

He had also seem the pain etched into Plutox’s face, the man that Lance looked up to and said that he had made Lance find a home. Like Keith, Plutox had been driven to such a rage but had been injured from enemy fire from a species Keith didn't know. When he had come round his first thought was of Lance, even surrounded by his family and the look on their faces was all he needed to know. Keith had spent a lot of time with him, sharing memories of Lance and smiling about the good times rather than reflecting on the very obvious lack of him. 

Keith knew Lance had had insecurities, but he honestly didn't know how Lance did not see the impact he had on the people he met. But today was the day and he gathered around the pod where Lance’s body lay, the healing pods hadn't been enough and he had been on Versi ever since, and Keith was sure Lance had never been this popular in his life, it was a shame he had to die for it to happen. Cos that's exactly what Lance's heart did. It had stopped beating and for them, at least, Lance was the price of peace. 

His body was still as beautiful as the day he had first seen it back in the garrison when all he saw was a good looking person but felt nothing. He saw the radiant man that light up his life and made it all worth living again as he had helped him see what he had. Shiro and his mother, a team that truly cared for him and wouldn't leave him. And a future, all Lance did was help open his eyes but that as more than enough. Keith saw every single one of the scars on display and hated everyone of them in that moment. Hated that he hadn't had a chance to say how much he loved him. 

He wasn't sure where love came from at first but in Lance’s absence in his life, Keith was sure of it. All around Lance were the team and what remained of Sekhmet’s team. Fluro, Plutox, Maxie and Geoghegan were there. Lance’s family weren't because they couldn't get into space so they had a holo link arranged. 

**Beep. Beep. Beep. One dobash and counting.**

Keith sighed. Was he ready for this?

**Beep. Beep. Beep. Thirty ticks and counting.**

Breathe Keith, he thought to himself, breathe and don't cry.

 **Beep. Beep. Beep. Five, four, three, two, one. Cycles complete.**

The pod lid shot off and hissing air filled his ears and then a groan could be heard. They hadn't been sure the process would work, though his heart had indeed stopped, Keith's cpr had restarted it and though the healing pods had failed, they put him in a cryopod and then a combination of so many technologies had found a way to bring Lance back to them, not in a vegetative state either, he would be healed and this time, there would be no scars from this fight.

Lance looked like he was having trouble getting up and, Keith and Hunk ran to him to help him up and support him. He certainly didn't expect to be the focus of Lances attention. 

“I know I'm dead but this is cruel,” Lance sighed, “Keith, you shouldn't have died too. You deserved to live” 

Right there and then whatever was left of his heart was obliterated, and he pulled Lance towards him a bit and with his spare hand cupped his face, touch that Lance practically melted into. Keith didn't care that there were people looking, if they hadn't seen him moping and spending as much time here talking to an unconscious Lance then they were blind and morons. 

“I'm not dead, you're alive Lance, you're alive and you're with me. With us, all of us, look,”

Keith released Lance’s face and watched Lance take in all those who had wanted to be there when he woke up. His family, all of them. Lance had been in so many pods for two Earth months and he was still shaky and soon was leaning only on Keith smiling and tears streaming, though there were tears all around. Soon they all dispersed and Lance was helped into a nearby room where he could talk to his entire family. Before he left, Keith gave Lance a quick hug with a promise that when Lance was ready, they could spend time together with no one else, like they had on the mountainside. They parted when Lance got comfy on one of the seats, surrounded by firm pillows for support and looked back fondly at his love as he closed the door.

 

Lance was grateful that he could see his entire family again but he was tired. As lovely as his family was and so damn glad he had survived they were a handful and all he wanted was some natural sleep. He had heard how Keith had told them and kept them updated, he heard a lot about Keith actually, he heard about what was happening on Earth but he wanted sleep and it was starting to show. His family left him in peace and sent a message to Keith. Within five minutes Keith was by his side supporting him to a room, Lance would be the first to admit he was in no state to travel anywhere, but he was proud that he had managed the short journey to an unoccupied room that they then claimed as theirs. 

That night Lance learnt a lot about Keith, the first being he was incredibly cuddly. He also found that Keith had missed him a lot, if the hugging and small cries of ‘you're alive, you're here’ were anything to go by. He also learnt that Keith was a bloody furnace. But he didn't mind and sleep came easily for once, he was that exhausted.

Keith looked to the man he was clinging onto for dear life, because for him, Lance was a very dear life to him indeed. He wasn't going to be letting go of him physically or figuratively any time soon. As sleep soon found him, he realised this was the calmest and happiest he had felt in too long.

Lance woke up in the morning and he realised that he had woken up. Most of yesterday was a blur as he was fuzzy from the machine he came out of. When he made it out of the machine, he genuinely thought he was in the next life where they had lost and everyone he cared about was dead. But he was alive. He had made his peace and accepted it, not that he liked it but still, he was ready to die. In being ready to die, he might have forgotten how it felt like to live. 

Though yesterday had passed in a blur, he remembered his family and being told he would have a day or so to recover before they went home for some well earned shore leave, and a damn holiday. He forgotten what a good natural sleep felt like and it felt good and so comfy. He was happy that he hadn't woken up alone either. Keith was next to him and he was serene and heavenly in his sleep despite the soft snores and koala like tendencies, he couldn't have asked for more. He felt wanted and loved with Keith tucked under his arm and snuggling into him like they'd being doing it all their lives. It felt comfy and it felt damn right. Lance tangled their legs together and pulled Keith in closer and lay his head on top of Keith's. Whose own head was resting in the crook of Lance’s neck. He went quickly back to sleep as he breathed in Keith. 

Lance awoke again when Keith started to shuffle, admittedly he now had a dead arm but who cared, the war for now was over, he could go home and he had the man of his dreams in his arms who he couldn't help but love to the ends of the universe, wherever that would be. Love, it was that word again, Lance didn't know when it had started. Whether it was because his crush was reciprocated or the fact that it took him dying to realise that he would never let go of Keith, it was what it was. Pure love that filled his entire being when he looked at the brightest light in his life. 

Keith woke a few minutes later, smiling at Lance and making sure he knew it was just for Lance. Keith moved himself so he could see Lance’s face in full and his smile grew. This was a sight he wanted to see for as long as he could and moved some hair out of Keith's face, tucking it behind his ear. 

“I didn't think I'd get this again,” Lance said gently,

“I could only hope, at times it didn't seem like hope would be enough, your heart had stopped and it was all I could do to get it started again, Lance please don't die on me, I don't think I could go through all that again,” tears were at the edges of Keith's eyes and his voice was starting to crack and though he had been there for him, like hell he was going to leave now.

He reached up a hand and brushed the wetness from Keith's eyes. “Keith, my love, there's nothing that will make me leave you and not find a way back. I can't promise to keep out of trouble but damn I’ll make sure I will come back for you. I won't leave you again.” 

“You love me?” 

“Yes Keith, I love you.” 

“Thats good cos I love you too.” 

It was a sickeningly sweet moment if anyone looked in on them, but for them it was a tiny bit of peace and tranquility.

Keith looked hesitantly at Lance, his voice showing his nerves. 

“Can I try something?” 

“Whatever darling, I trust you.” Lance sent a smile at Keith and was transfixed by the sight before him. It was Keith. Just Keith; no walls, no defences, just Keith. 

Keith leaned into Lance, closing his eyes and the last bit of distance between them and planted a small kiss to Lance’s mouth, Lance smiled even wider and cupped Keith's face and pulled him back in, lips pressed together, making sure that Keith knew he was loved, his lips made sure of that indeed. Their lips moved against each other and Keith moved a hand behind Lance’s neck and started to play with the hair that had grown longer in his time in the pods. It was rather messy but to them both it was perfect. They just lay there, lazily kissing and cuddling, like there wasn't a care in the world and in that moment there wasn't. 

When they emerged from their room, they made their way to the mess hall and Lance was greeted by cheers, whistles and yell ending, and then as one they gave their own cultures gestures of respect. They took their seats with Team Voltron and Plutox’s family and dug into one of the best breakfasts Lance had in space. Once he was finished he was promptly mobbed by Maxie and Geoghegan who tried to wrestle him to the floor, Lance gave into them eventually.

“Oh no, I've been defeated by the scourges of the universe, they know my one weakness. Children.” In mock defeat he fell on them then proceeded to tickle them mercilessly. 

Shiro approached Lance and he stood up and dusted himself off, and Shiro greeted Plutox and Fluro and ruffled the kid's hair and ears. 

“It's good to see you out buddy,” and pulled Lance into a hug and that was reciprocated easily, “talk later right?” 

“Sure,” Lance easily smiled back, and he launched into a conversation with Allura and Barra about what he had missed. Lotor was currently under lock and key for the trial later that day, though Haggar and his generals had escaped in the chaos that followed. Lotor though, had been more than happy to incriminate Haggar. They had no idea why but it was enough to ensure her demise. 

Soon enough, the rest of the team wanted a piece of Lance and he was grateful for the time. Hunk and Pidge made sure that he saw all their inventions that they had made to distract themselves, most of which were to play pranks on unsuspecting Versians with mixed reactions. They had spent a good half hour hugging Lance and making him promise to never do something like that again. Coran took him for another few hours where they talked about that had happened frankly and without judgement. Coran knew that it was something Lance needed off his chest. He was prepared to do it for them all again, he hastened to add, and Coran had been there and knew after the first time he was prepared to die. Self sacrificial tendancies sucked.

“Lance, before we go, learn to be selfish with your life and only give it to those who deserve it. And we want you to live it Lance, we are selfish with it too.” 

“I will, I won't let you guys down.” 

“You never have my boy.” 

“Coran?” 

“Yes?”

“May I speak frankly, well, more than just now.” 

“You know you can, whatever you need to say I can take it.” It sounded like Coran was setting himself up for disappointment, that Lance no longer wanted anything to do with him despite all that had happened. Lance would never do that, Coran meant to much to him for Lance to just dump by the wayside.

“Thank you for being my family through all this, you were like my father throughout my time in space and I do consider you a part of my immediate family. Coran, you've been so kind and wonderful and when I go back to Earth I want you to meet my family too. I want you to be apart of it and celebrate with us and be the vodka aunt you are for all of us. I want to see you rock up to our house with space gifts because you wanted to. I don't want to loose you being in my life. We have a surprise planned for everyone but I want you to meet them outside of that plan. I want you to meet the family so you can tell the girls apart in an instant.”

Lance looked to Coran who looked like he couldn't have been prouder or happier, and it didn't take long for Lance to be swept into a very loving hug.

“Lance, you didn't even need to ask, I would have said yes anyway. You are the kid I never had and you are so important to me and I never want you to forget it or me.”

“Coran, how could I ever forget you?” 

They both chuckled and walked to the courthouses where they planned to sentence Lotor. Security was the tightest he had ever seen on Versi and for good reason, no one wanted Lotor loose in the universe again. 

Lotor was restrained as he stood before the judges, they had already heard those testimonies and seen the evidence. All that was left was the sentencing. The judges kept to what the alliance leaders had agreed on and the Nagari had been consulted and were waiting in the atmosphere, their bodies could be seen crisscrossing the sky and it was a true sight to behold. 

Lotor was to spend the rest of his life in dead space, in a location known only to a few people. Lance was one of those people and it literally was the furthest reaches of the universe where there was only black matter. A Nagari would always be in the area keeping up the duty of the dead space and ensuring that Lotor would have food goo and water. 

Lance was glad that most of the universe accepted this though there were protests for his execution in the following months but there had been enough killing and Lotor would have only served as a martyr to those who were still in favour of Galran rule. By being merciful with allowing Lotor to keep his life, they were setting out their hopes for the future, fair and just. 

When the judges delivered the sentence, Lotor didn't react he just looked ahead with his head held high and was carted away under armed guard. Proud till the bitter end. But for Lance, he felt freer knowing that Lotor was going to be nowhere near him again and that he was facing justice. There was still the long process of sorting out who had been complicit and who were forced to fight but there were definitely war crimes that had to be addressed, even from their own side. Hate crimes against other species still occurred based on where they stood in the war. But the future looked better and it was good. 

There was a feast that evening, a celebration for peace and for hope, and Lance decided to extend the invitation his parents had given. Earth had set up inter species liaisons in the major countries on Earth with more being hired every month and had started to talk science and trade with multiple planets. So what they had planned would be worth it and had the approval of the Earth's council members, a way to say thanks to the Paladins that helped save the Earth. 

When he announced it, most of the people had gone home but the few that stayed readily accepted, it was only Plutox and his family, Barra and the thankfully healed Cairn and a few others including Plaxum, Blumflump, Swirn and Luxia. Lance smiled and couldn't wait. 

That night, Lance found himself in Keith's room on the castle, and everything in it was Keith, the glow in the dark writing to the Mamora blade on his desk. The spent the night in each other's arms with not a care in the world, and filled with excitement for their journey back home in the castle. 

Lance woke up with a start, it had only been a mild nightmare but enough to wake him, he looked at the time and decided he would only have been awake in ten minutes anyway. He was buzzing from excitement when he realised that he would be going home. Home, no Voltron for a while and he would be free to wander Earth and see all that he wanted to and if Keith would let him, have him by his side. Get to know exactly where Keith was ticklish if he was at all, what exactly made the stars in Keith's eyes shine which turned each eye into their own Galaxy. He wanted Keith to know what made Lance turn to mush and what made Lance take his breath away in awe. 

Keith woke up ten minutes later when their alarm went off and they got changed into the most comfortable clothes they could find. Everyone who was going to earth was on board the Castle of Lions by now and as soon as everyone had eaten, Allura opened a wormhole to Earth. Lance was stood in the control deck as Allura did, as were his fellow humans and the excited yells and screaming that came from them as they took in the beautiful blue and green and white planet in front of them. They had long ago decided that though looking at new planets was cool and shit, there was no place better than their own home. 

They all starting clamouring about what they would do when they got home, and then realised, they wouldn't be able to see each other till Voltron was needed again. They had gotten so used to being in space that they didn't know what it felt like to be back on Earth. Everyone must have looked down, because Allura went to reassure them.

“Consider this a holiday, one Earth month, and then you will be having time back here as well. The universe still needs you but so do your families. But first, we need to make a stop.” 

“But Allura!” Cried Hunk and Pidge in unison, neither of them had had any contact with their families since the day Blue took them from the Earth. Allura only smiled as she had been told the plan but not the full extent. Only Lance knew and he hoped his kilt still fit him, and he might treat himself to a new sporran too. 

When they landed they did so in the United Continents of America, they did so less than a kilometre out of a small village and then flew the lions and everyone to the outskirts of the town. Mercifully there were no journalists otherwise it would have been hell, there was a time and a place and a family reunion wasn't one. 

The village itself was dead except for the centre, where it lit up in the dusky evening. They disembarked from the lions and made their way to the lights and only Lance knew what they were in for but even his breath was taken away. All the streetlights had been turned off and dangling Japanese lanterns illuminated everything in a soft glow, there was decorations everywhere, from flowers to bits of recycled machinery and it was honest to god perfect. Then there were cries from members of the throng of people waiting. 

Coleen ran to hug her husband and two kids and they became a pile on the floor crying and reassuring each other that this was all real. They may have been the most broken up but they had found their way back together. 

Hunk’s mums and his little sister and brother ran into him and he picked them up and spun them around. His time in space had made him stronger, physically and mentally and tears found their way into his eyes as he let them down and saw them in the orange white light of a sun that was starting to set. There were also his cousins a little further back and after their initial hug, Hunk was mobbed again.

Shiro had run to his grandfather and sister and he knelt before them and bowed his head, begging for forgiveness for leaving them, for not being there. Miyuki told him to stop being an idiot and yanked him up and pulled their grandfather into a group hug which lasted for several minutes. 

Lance saw his family and knew that Neela was standing next to Keith but he was having none of that. He went over to Keith and made sure to grab Keith's hand and tugged Keith with him as Lance broke out into a run towards his entire family. They had flown in from Scotland and Cuba and they could inflict their playful influence in the village square and the people in it. Out of all of them they were some of the loudest, though no one was surprised, Lance was the life and soul in space and it was easy to see where he got it.

Rosa and Angus with their four children were the first to greet the two.

“Mama, Dad, this is Keith. I know you've already met him, but I wanted to introduce you to my boyfriend,” and he turned to face him, and with so much love plastered all over Keith's face and the way stars danced in his eyes, Lance couldn't help but plant a kiss on Keith's forehead. 

“Welcome to the family,” Rosa said as she drew the two of them into a hug and Lance knew he would never know how Keith felt in that moment but he knew it was one of the happiest moments in his life. 

After all the reunions and a rather odd conversation between Rosa and Neela, in which both Lance and Keith immediately regretted introducing their mothers to each other, they cleaned up the square and set up a stage while the Paladins then got changed into clothes their families had bought for them. 

Shiro and Lance were the last to arrive, Shiro in his favourite kimono and Lance in his full ceremonial kilt. A full ceremonial kilt was hell to put on but damn Lance felt good in it and he was very pleased to see that his kilt still fit him. Hunk was in Samoan formal wear that had enough room to dance in and Pidge was in light fifties style dress. They tended to dress neutrally but they really did like this dress and they would be damned if they never wore it again. 

But Lance's heart stopped when he saw Keith, who had a deep red suit on that was completely tailored to him, and damn he looked fine as hell. Keith's hair was up in a small pony and a light dusting of pink covered both their cheeks when they saw each other, and small smiles and an embrace were exchanged. 

As soon as they arrived back to the square, Rosa took to the stage. 

“We are here to celebrate the return of Earth's heroes, but more importantly our families, we, who never gave up hope, couldn't be more proud of them and all that they have survived and triumphed over. Let us celebrate in the only way us humans know how, with style. Let our Ceilidh begin!” Then a band start to play Scottish folk songs and Lance laughed and pulled his Mama of the stage and flung themselves into the reel that was being played, he felt the beat in his veins and the song in his bones, a call to home. As the fiddle played on with the accordion, they spun and jumped and danced. Lance’s Scottish family took their dance partners and followed Lances lead and soon, most people were learning the traditional dances as the songs went on. Lance made sure that he dance with every single one of his family members in some way and he was reminded of his eighteenth ceilidh, grinned and the beat carried him on. 

The next few songs carried on in much the same way as they all had to switch their partners in the dances, the ceilidh band walking the groups through the dances, particularly for the benefit of anyone that wasn't part of Lance's family. 

The next dance was a five person dance that he danced with his Galran family, and he wasn't surprised that the triplets had gotten on with the kids so easily and were now joined at the hip. Soon there were only two dances left and Lance made his way over to Keith, took his hand and led him to the cobble stone dance floor. A slower waltz started to play and Lance looked back to their dance on the mountainside. He leaned in and Keith lay his head on Lance’s chest, listening to the strong beat it played out. 

“I love you so much,” Lance whispered into his ear as he lead the town of them round the square.

“ I love you too,” Keith smiled back and Lance knew that he would never willingly give up Keith for anything in the entire universe. Keith was his universe in a way.

The song came to an end and it was time to Strip The Willow. With Keith as his partner, they all separated off into lines with their families and others, and faced their partners, Keith and Lance were the last in their line, the fiddle and accordion started to play and they began to clap, Keith following Lance’s lead. The first pair began to spin their way up the line followed by the next and then the next. Soon enough it was their way to spin their way up the line. They linked their arms and spun in the centre and with the person in the outside and back to the centre and worked their way down the line. Lance was laughing with joy and happiness and so was Keith, who seemed to be in his element when they reached the end of the line, they returned to their positions and were able to go down the line a further three more times. 

On the last run, they were the last to spin and at the very end, instead of going back to their positions, they stayed in the middle and kissed. Full and deeply, Lance's hands cupping Keith's face and Keith had one arm round Lance’s waist and the other hand tangling itself in Lance's hair. They were utterly in love and they didn't care who knew it, when they broke apart, Lance placed a kiss on Keith forehead again while Keith kissed Lance’s nose. They smiled at each other, so lost in each other that they hadn't noticed that the band had changed out for a set Japanese musicians who had started to play while food was bringing to be served. 

The food that came out was from all around the world, the Holts had brought pasta dishes and fresh gelato, Hunk’s mums had brought Paifala and Poi. The Shirogane family had brought sushi and other small items. But Lance’s family had gone all out, his cuban family had made tamales and pastelitos, with sweet breads caked with sugar and so much fruit and horchata was flowing from the jugs freely. His grandfather had brought his secret family recipe and made the haggis Lance loved as a kid as well as tubs of Mackies ice cream. All the food was wonderful and soon everyone had their fill. 

Not long after, Hunk burst into tears as his family and the leaders of their community gave him a ceremonial dance, and Lance knew how much it meant to him. Hunk had already been planning the tattoos that would adorn his shoulder and arm back when they were cadets in the Garrison. His sister and brother were hanging of his arms as he pulled them into a hug and when they had finished their dance, Hunk’s mums ran to him and scooped him up, every bit as strong as Hunk was. 

When Hunk had thanked his community, he returned to the rest of his fellow paladins and turned to Lance.

“Please tell em your parents have that band again?”

“Band? What band?” Asked Shiro who was fending off Lance’s siblings who who became obsessed with him and had taken to following Shiro like a mother duck. Shiro, to his credit, kept up with them, even if he wasn't as used to children as he used to be. 

“The one Mama used to be in!” yelled Heather as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and soon enough Rosa and her old band mates walked out and started to play on their drums and instruments and set the beat for the rest of the evening. Full of life and happiness and it connected everyone the way music does. 

The triplets dragged Shiro to where Maxie and Geoghegan stood entranced in the music and made them dance with them, and once the two galra children had found their dancing feet, Shiro was able to slip back to his team. A team that couldn't stop laughing at him. Shiro sent them his best dad look and told them to stop it or else. And all that did was send them further into hysterics, Allura was laughing hard enough that she fell off of her chair and was struggling to breathe. 

As the night turned into morning, music from all their cultures played on, all the musicians playing together so none of them really knew what would be played next. Around two in the morning, all the younger children had fallen asleep and were taking to Lance’s home where the top floor of The Ramirez-McClain house was taken up by sleeping children, human and alien alike. And soon after, it was just the families and members of the Alliance left in the square. Music still played on but softer and quieter than before, and it sung of home and safety and belonging. 

The team soon dispersed with their families introducing them to the people they have met, Hunk had taken Shay by the hand and his family started to fawn over her and her family. Colleen had been introduced to Rynar and the Olkari and soon they had become inseparable and it left the team wondering what they had just unleashed onto the universe. Allura had been mobbed by all the families thanking her for taking care of their children and bringing them back to them, and was in tears by the end of it and then was immediately mobbed with hugs. Shiro had introduced Kolivan and the Blades to his family and his grandfather and Kolivan were having a very in depth conversation about the blade forgery and comparing them to the techniques he had apprenticed at as a teenager and spent the next sixty years mastering. 

Coran was then introduced to Lance’s family, and within minutes, an invitation to be part of the family was extended to him as, well as their home and a demand to be there for family holidays when he could get there. That offer had also been offered to Allura and it was safe for Lance to say that he had forgiven them, it had taken time but they had proven themselves and they were all doing better than ever and they could have time to relax truly for the first time in years.

By five in the morning everyone had dispersed either to the Castle of Lions or to Ramirez-McClain household. Lance had to practically drag Keith with him to their house. A house, his house, a damn house on Earth with a proper bed and curtains. So many small things Lance had taken for granted which he had missed terribly. Something he wanted to share with Keith, the idea of Keith going back to the castle or his shack didnt sit well with Lance and he made sure that Keith had a spot in the family home till his dying days and beyond. When they reached the house, Lance dragged Keith into his room and pulled them down onto the bed. 

Keith took in the room as he had Lance’s hand in his and it was so Lance it was unbelievable. There were photos of him with a rucksack on with massive lakes and mountains surrounding him, being dragged into an ocean by a sea of some of the cousins he had just met. Lance holding the triplets and a scrappy play fight between him and Anna when they were younger, both smiling and laughing. There wasn't much he could see from the light that drifted in through the window, and Keith laughed softly there was a proper window, and within seconds they were on the bed with Lance beneath him. 

Keith had had a wonderful time that evening and he never thought in a million years that he would have a welcome home and that he would have a home. Lance’s family had practically adopted him at Lance’s request and they already loved him and he them. 

“What did I ever do to deserve you,” he whispered into Lance’s ear, careful not to wake anyone else up. 

“You were you darling,” he replied softly, and pulled Keith in for a quick kiss before Keith could reply. 

“Don't forget that holiday I promised,”

“How could I my love,”

“We can meet up with the team too, but I want you all to myself for a while,”

“You will always have me sweet,” Keith couldn’t handle all these pet names and blushed deeply glad of the darkness that encased them. 

“I love you,” Keith said as they curled up into each other, waiting for sleep to find them. 

“And I love you more,” replied Lance as they fell asleep and became dead to the world. After all, they had all the time in the world for the next month and then who knew, but maybe till the end of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for making it seem like i killed Lance, and thank you for sooo mcuh for reading this. 
> 
> every kudo, comment and reads is so appreciated!!!!
> 
> till the next fic, THANK YOU!!!

**Author's Note:**

> I swear i love Lance i just also love angst
> 
> thanks for reading and i hoped you enjoyed it, it is a multichapter so stay tuned!!
> 
>  
> 
> [I'm on tumblr!](https://theshadowsandsilhouettes.tumblr.com)


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